Warnings: dark theme, suicide attempt. If you may be triggered by these, please skip this chapter ♡
But if you're up for some drama then I suggest you listen to "Hold On" by Chord Overstreet while reading this to get ya deeper into the mood xx
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Loki grew more and more tense at each ring. She wouldn't pick up. Why wouldn't y/n pick up the phone? His mind no longer with the subject that was being discussed in the Avengers meeting. After the tenth miss call, the God of Mischief couldn't sit here and do nothing anymore. Something was terribly wrong. He just knew it! As if on cue, Loki hissed and stood up, ignoring the team's questions - as to where was he going - as he stormed out the door with heavy footsteps. Every second counted. There was no time for stopping to explain anything. He needed to see y/n. He needed to know she was okay.
~~~
Sitting on the ground with her back against the wall, silent tears rolled down y/n's pale face as her tired, emotionless eyes glued to the closed door up ahead. It would all be over soon. She knew it since she already took care of what needed to be done. All that left to do was wait. It wouldn't take too long at all. Just a minute and it would all be over - the pain, the voices, the anxiety. It would all come to an end.
In the palm of her hand that hang loosely by her side, an empty orange bottle with the label that read 'Sleeping Pills' When her shrink prescribed the meds to her, she meant for her to take only one pill before bed to keep the insomnia at bay. The last thing y/n should do was empty the whole bottle down her thrown in one swallow, but oh well. She have had enough. Simply done with everything. Done with faking smiles, done with pretending to be happy when people were around and crying herself to sleep when she was alone. She was done with life. Loki. They said in your last moment, you'd see the face of the one you loved the most in your head. Right now, all y/n could see was Loki. He was the reason she put up with this battle for so long. She knew she would have given up and ended her own life long ago, if it wasn't for him. Yet it was only a matter of time, really. One day, she knew she'd do it. And the time was here. There was no turning back. She took the pills.
Would Loki be mad at her? Would he be sad? She never wanted to hurt or to upset him. Y/n could only hope loki would understand. She hoped he would see it coming, hoped he would know this was going to happen one day. Loki knew y/n was suicidal. So he had to know despite how everything seemed to get better, this was how it was going to end, how she was going to leave him.
Y/n wished she wrote him a note - suicide note - but she wasn't good with something so dramatic. So she wrote nothing. Now, she was having a second thought that she should have written to him so he knew she loved him and that none of this was his fault. Alas, it was too late. She was no longer in control of her own body. When she tried to move to get a pen and paper, her body wouldn't budge. Her eyelids grew so heavy that a task as simply as keeping her eyes open seemed almost impossible. Loki was going to find her dead on the bathroom floor, and he was going to blame himself for not doing a good-enough-job at keeping her alive. She should really have written him that damn suicide note so she could let him know there was nothing he could have done better. Her mind was made up. Now, he was going to be heartbroken, and the thought of him being heartbroken because of her made y/n hate herself even more. God, she could never do anything right!
Her face scrunched up when another wave of cramp hit. Her insides felt as though they were on fire. Silly little girl. She never thought it'd hurt this bad. In movies, it seemed so easy. So painless. You just sleep and never wake up again. Y/n lost the battle and closed her eyes. Her body felt limp and so her back slid down the wall until she was lying on the floor. Somewhere far away, she thought she heard tires screeching, but she couldn't tell. It seemed so far away. Too far away and she was fading fast. Last thing she knew, she was listening to heavy footsteps and her name being called, screamed. Oh, y/n knew that voice. She wanted to call back, to tell Loki it was okay, but her body was too weak to make any sound. Another three more seconds was all it took for blackness to devour all her senses.
~~~
Loki jumped down his black Jaguar without bothering to close the car door. That would simply mean too much time wasted. The God of Mischief ran toward the house and kicked the front door open, he was met with darkness. The lights were off and it somehow made the sinking feeling in his chest grow heavier. The bedroom! Not wasting any more time, Loki crossed the living room in three quick strikes. The stairs creaked under his weight as he used the banister to heave himself up to the destination. Skipping the last two steps, Loki made a run towards the room at the end of the corridor, his mouth kept calling her name and his voice filled with panic as he received no answer. Swinging the door open and throwing himself inside the room, he felt even more lost when he saw it was dark and the bed was empty. Then, he caught shimmering of light in the corner of his eye. It came from the gap under the bathroom door. It relaxed him a little. Just a little. Maybe, she was just taking a bath and he was being paranoid?
"Y/n?" Loki called with a calmer voice - though his brows still furrowed - as he walked toward the door. Nothing. The only sound coming from the other side was silence. Complete silence. "Y/n, is everything alright?" Still no answer. He tried to doorknob, grabbing it and twisting it. It wouldn't jiggle. She locked the door. Why would y/n lock the door? She never locked it before! The tension, that left his body seconds earlier, returned. This time even worse as Loki was sure something was seriously wrong "Y/n, open up!" He shouted and banged on the wooden door. It wasn't working.
Shaking his head in frustration, the Trickster God used his entire force throwing his shoulder against the door, it wouldn't budge. Ignoring the ache in his side, he tried again, this time harder only for the damn door to remain closed. Loki gritted his teeth, his hand holding on his shoulder as the pain increased. Though that was the last thing he cared about right now. The God of Mischief took a deep breath and a few steps backward. Then, made a run towards the closed door and, used his entire weight, thrown his side against it. The hinges flew out of the jambs brought him momentarily satisfaction. That satisfaction suddenly disappeared when he witnessed the scene in front of him.
Loki felt like all the breath had been knocked out of his lungs, leaving him utterly breathless. Every cell in his body froze in shock as he looked at her lying lifeless on the cold ground. Her hair splayed all over, hidden her face perfectly and her skin as pale as a corpse. Then, his eyes went to the empty bottle still in her hand. Fear crept up Loki's spine for he knew too well what the bottle was. Oh no no no. What have she done?!
For a moment, Loki just stood there, panicked and not knowing what to do. It took him a while to gather himself together. Once he could think straight, the God of Mischief lunged himself forwards and on his knees in front of y/n. He picked her limp body up on his lap, turning her over and pushing the hair out of her face. His heart sank even more when he saw how she looked. There was no color of life whatsoever in her face at all. Her lips so blue and her eyes had that tint of reddish around them. "No no no no, y/n, no. Why WHY!!!" He screamed and stroked her body. She wouldn't wake up. Loki shook his head violently. It took everything in him to try to stay as calm as he could, knowing if he let himself go and allow panic to take over, he'd never be able to save her. He lifted her up a little and placed his head on her chest, closing his eyes. Praying he could hear her heartbeat. It felt like hours - but it fact, it was just a few seconds - until he heard it, the quietest beat of her heart. That was enough to make a sigh of relief left his mouth. She was alive, but just that. He needed to do something and he needed to do it fast, otherwise, he'd lose her forever.
Desperately, Loki grabbed her jaws opened and forced two fingers down her throat, trying to bring the pills back up "Come on!" His own jaws tensed and his teeth gritted. He needed to get it out of her, those poisons, he needed to get it out of her body. She couldn't die on him. No. He wouldn't let it happen. After a minute - which sure felt like an eternity - y/n started gagging. He quickly pushed her up and placed her head on the sink, letting her throw up. He turned on the faucet and cleaned her mouth once she was done.
It wasn't all of them. Loki knew there were still some in her stomach. Some that needed to be taken out and it required serious medical treatment, treatment he couldn't give her even if he'd use his magic. She was still far from being stable. Y/n needed a doctor. She needed to go to the hospital.
"Hang in there, baby" He cooed even though, in her half-conscious state, she couldn't hear or respond. Loki lifted her up in his arms, put the bottle in his jacket and quickly carried her out the room, down the stairs and out the front door to his car.
He shoved her in the passenger seat and hurried to get himself behind the wheel. Starting the engine, Loki drove off to the nearest hospital.
~~~
Long endless highway, she was silent beside him. Her head lolled downward so unnaturally that her chin touched her chest. Loki had to drive with one hand, the other placed across y/n's chest to keep her from falling. It was the longest drive in his life, and Loki couldn't stop his brain from fearing for the worst. What if he couldn't make it in time? What if she died right in the car- no. No no. Stop thinking that. Just stop! She'd be fine. He'd get her help, and she'd be fine. Loki's hand left the wheel for a second to wipe the tears away. His vision so blurred from all the crying, it was scary how he drove so fast with so much tears clouded his eyesight. He just needed her back. She had to come back to him. She had to. God, please, don't take her away from him. He'd already lost too much he couldn't afford losing her too. He just couldn't!
Taking a sharp turn into the hospital, Loki went straight to the ER. The sound of tires screeching alerted the nurses nearby. They all rushed to the car once it came to a stop. Loki jumped down the vehicle and ran over to y/n's side. He thrown the door open with force and by the time he grabbed her out, the hospital staff already had a stretcher ready. He placed her on it and they didn't give him time to say goodbye as they quickly wheeled her inside the building.
"Sir, can you tell me what's wrong?" A nurse asked as she walked beside Loki who had his hand on the stretcher - with y/n laid still on it - as they all hurried down the corridor. To answer the nurse's question, Loki had to take a moment to collect his words and give her the useful information to help y/n. "I... I came home and found her. She.... she shouldn't have done it. Why'd she-" Then he stopped himself. This wasn't helping at all. Loki took a deep breath to cool himself down "Apparent overdose" He said and pulled the bottle out of his jacket, handing it to her and she nodded in response before taking it from his hand.
They reached the room at the end of the long passage and Loki was stopped by someone placing their hand on his chest, preventing him from following inside "I'm sorry, sir. But I'm afraid you'd have wait outside"
"What? No no. I have to be with her. I have to be with her!" The God never felt so powerless.
"Sir, please, it's the protocol"
"You don't understand. She's my everything-"
"Sir, we'll do our best and it's the for her own benefit that you stay here and let us do our job!" With that, Loki felt... defeated. Powerless and hopeless as he stood there, watching y/n disappearing into the room and the door closing in front of him.
She was in there, all by herself, fighting for her life. This was all his fault, Loki thought. He should have came sooner. Should never have left her alone in the first place. He knew about her mental health. How could he be so careless!
This was all his fault.
~~~
"I need a suction and an intubation kit!" A doctor shouted as they laid y/n down on the table. A nurse quickly handed him a long tube and a laryngoscope while the other hold y/n's head still as the doc opened the patient's mouth and guided the long tube down her throat "Saline" The doc ordered after he intubated y/n, and the required object was placed in his hand in a heartbeat. He poured the liquid down the tube, letting it make its way into her stomach. Still unconscious, y/n's body started trembling convulsively - in order to fight the discomfort - that it took another three more nurses to keep her in place. Then, another nurse - whose hands were free - knowingly passed the doctor the nasogastric tube. He took it without a word and connected it to the long tube - that was already in y/n's throat - and began the suction in which y/n reacted to it immediately. Her body started convulsing even more and the nurses had to increase the forces of their grips on her body. They all aware the procedure hurt like hell that being unconscious couldn't stop the pain. But it needed to be done. Y/n needed to be clean. The poisons in her stomach were being pulled up through the transparent tube and to the bag connected to it. The doctor watched as an assortment of pills and stomach fluid began to fill the once-empty bag. His gaze kept switching from said bag and to the monitor next to the bed, the monitor that its screen shown how the patient's body was doing: heart rate, blood pressure and such. And so far, y/n was doing good. It was working. Thank lord, it was working.
~~~
Loki paced back and forth in front of the door. The seats around him were mostly empty, but he couldn't force himself into sitting down. What if she didn't make it? What if he brought her here too late? What if - God, these thoughts were killing him, ripping away whatever little piece of sanity he had left. Loki pulled out his phone for the sixth time before pulling it back in his jacket. He wanted to call Thor. He needed his brother's comfort, but he didn't know how to tell him because to actually say it out loud would mean confirming this was all real. He did fail at keeping y/n safe and now, her only shot of survival was in the hands of strangers.
The wait felt like forever. Every minute felt like hour and the unknown, of whether or not he was going to see her alive again, was driving Loki insane. Sickeningly fear coiled in the pit of his stomach it made him feel like throwing up. Each time someone - a nurse - emerged from the door, Loki ran to her. Yet before he could even open his mouth, he was cut off by the same sentence 'sorry, sir, but I am in no position to discuss a patient's condition. You'd have to wait for the doctor' then, she'd walk past him to get some tools he didn't know what it's called and disappeared back in that room.
~~~
The clock on the white wall hit 2:30 A.M. Loki couldn't remember when or how did he lose the battle and end up on a seat in front of to the room. The spots beside him were all empty, the atmosphere was taken over by silence that it looked like the God of Mischief was the only living soul in this lonely place. Loki had his head and his back leaned against the wall behind. He was exhausted and needed sleep, but he couldn't. He couldn't sleep until y/n was safe.
It was three in the morning when, eventually, a man - in a mask and hospital scrubs - walked through the double swinging doors and towards Loki. The Trickster automatically jumped up from his seat, shooting the doctor a question - he'd been dying to know - before the man could even finish taking off the mask "How is she?" Loki asked with such anticipation. The doctor removed his mask and began talking "She consumed a large amount of Hypnotic. But she's lucky you brought her here just in time. So I believe it's safe now to say she's going to be okay. We have performed a gastric lavage on her and removed 90% of the drug out of her system. Though she's going to need to stay here for a while to recover and to make sure there's nothing we missed. I've disconnected the pump, but for now, I need to leave her intubated for a night so we can keep track and assist her breathing. You can see her right after we transformed her to her ward. She should be awake after the anesthetic wears off, which should be in about an hour" Then, the doctor talked something about her mental health, about how to approach a suicidal person, how to talk to her and if she should find a new shrink. Loki tried to focus on the doctor's words, but it all became a blur after he heard him said y/n was going to be okay. That's all he could focus on as huge wave of relief washed over him. She was going to be okay.
~~~
Everything was so dizzy. For a moment, y/n thought she was in the comfort of her bed in her house until she began to be more awake and so she started hearing the sounds of talking, chatting, and beeping. It all echoed in her head, but it all sounded so far away. Just then, the extremely discomfort - of something stuck in her mouth and down her throat - suddenly kicked in and it startled her greatly. Y/n's eyes snapped open. Her hands automatically tried to reach up to get it out of her. She only panicked more when she learned she couldn't move. Something held both her wrists in place. She was restrained to a stranger bed in a stranger place! What happened?!
Y/n tried to scream and thrash around. It was all useless. She couldn't speak, couldn't move. She'd no doubt have a panic attack, if it wasn't for a pair of hands quickly cupping her cheeks, shushing her in a comforting manner. Y/n's teary eyes met their face and all the tension left her body when she saw who it was.
"Hey hey hey, shhhh. It's okay. It's okay, it's me. I'm here. Shhhh, it's okay. It's okay, darling. I'm here" Loki reassured, making sure her eyes locked with his the whole time "Darling, you...." He then gulped. Y/n could see how red his eyes were. It was obvious he had been crying "You were hurt. So I had to take you to the hospital. But it's alright now. You're alright now, okay?" He gave her a loving smile as he ran his thumb along her delicate skin, wiping away her tears. Still, he looked so sad. Even though he was smiling, y/n could tell he was definitely in a much greater pain than she was.
Then, it all came flooding in. The bathroom, the pills. She remembered what she did now. No no no. It wasn't supposed to end like this. She wasn't supposed to be alive. She had that choice and she chose it. She chose to give up. So why wouldn't he let her go? It was her right, her way to permanent peace. How dared he took that away from her. How dared Loki took that away from her?!
In the heat of the moment, anger crept up her body and she yanked her head from his touch, her movement quite harsh that it broke Loki's heart even more. Seeing how lost he looked made y/n feel so guilt. But she was still angry at him, angry at him for not letting her die. Fuck. Y/n was torn between wanting to scream at him and throw herself in his arms, cry on his shoulder, tell him she was sorry. Not that it mattered anyway. All she could do was lay here like a mute.
"Y/n, look at me" Loki said. She didn't listen "Y/n...." she continued ignoring him and Loki could only sigh. He couldn't force her to do something she didn't want to, she was way too sensitive for that. So if she wanted to ignore him, then he had no say in it.
"I'm so sorry, baby" Loki's voice filled with pain. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. Y/n still wouldn't look at him
They tied her down to avoid the risk of her hurting herself again, and the tube needed to stay. The joke was on her, this was the condition she stuck in. Silly her, if she could have succeeded at anything and been able to kill herself then she'd be free by now. Now, she was forced to breathe, strapped down to a hospital bed with the constant pain of the tube penetrated her throat. She could never achieve anything. Always a failure. She even failed at taking her own life!
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It's been three days since she stayed in the hospital, three days and Loki never left her side even though she refused to talk to him after they extubated her. Or if she really had to, it'd always be two-words answer. And that's it. She didn't want to be like this. She hated herself for acting this way. All y/n ever wanted was to be a good little girl for her Loki. But it seemed like all she did was bring him troubles. Even though Loki didn't directly say it, y/n could tell he was tired. It shown all over his face. He haven't had any sleep for three nights in a row. Why? Because he wanted her to be comfortable. The protocol had it that if the extreme-suicidal patient were to be free from the restraints, they'd have to have someone watching them closely within arms reach. So Loki offered himself to be that someone and kept an eye on her 24/7, making sure she wouldn't harm herself. He did all of this. For her. God, she didn't deserve him at all.
The cartoon was playing on the screen, y/n couldn't pay less attention to it. Her back rested against the headboard of the hospital bed, her head turned toward the door. There was a small window on it, and she could see Loki standing outside her room, face to face with Thor. They were having a conversation. She could make out bit and pieces of what they were talking about from the voice coming through the closed door, they were talking about her. Loki said something about 'I don't know what to do now' And something along the line of 'It was my fault' then Thor placed a hand on his brother's shoulder in a comforting way. And y/n had to turn her head away when she saw Loki shedding a tear. It was too much for her. He was in so much pain and it was because of her!
She needed to be better. For him. She needed to stop causing him so much troubles. If she couldn't love herself like how Loki wanted her to, she could at least fake it. Right. She had to pretend to be happy, to get better. So Loki'd feel better. It was all for him.
┈┈ ❋ ┈┈
The drive was silent. Loki kept glancing at y/n ever so often as he was driving home. After a week, she was discharged from the hospital. Her stomach still a little sore from the pumping, but she was physically stable enough to stay home. Good. It was better than being in hospital.
Loki would have to decide whether he'd find her a new shrink or stick to the old one. He thought he would just stick with the old one. What happened in the bathroom that day had nothing to do with the ability of the psychologist. Y/n was mentally unstable and if there was anything, if there was someone to blame for what happened, Loki knew it was his own fault. It's his job to make sure she stayed clean.
Once they arrived home, the God of Mischief got out of the car and walked over to her side, opening the door for her, he offered her a hand, and y/n took it. Giving him a small smile, she let him lead her down the vehicle and into the house. Her first step into the building felt almost... strange. It's only been a week during her stay in the hospital, but it felt like forever for y/n. With her hand still in Loki's, the girl looked around, every furniture, every item in the living room felt oddly strange, like this was the first time she saw them even though everything stayed in the same place and she'd seen them all a million times.
"A bath?" Loki asked softly as he took off her jacket for her, hanging it on the hanger stand. Though the second the question left his mouth, Loki couldn't help but notice how rigid y/n suddenly got, and he knew just the reason why. Taking a bath would mean returning to the bathroom where it took place. The Trickster God felt a pang of guilt in his chest. What if she still wasn't ready? No, she was. She had to. She couldn't avoid bathroom for the rest of her life.
"Hey, it's okay. I'll be there" Loki walked to stand in front of her, his finger gently lifted her chin up so they'd make eye contact "I'll be there" He reassured and y/n just nodded.
"Alright"
"That's my girl" Loki kissed her cheek, holding his hand forward and this time, y/n hesitated for a few seconds before eventually took it. He'd be there. It'd be alright. He'd be there. She told herself.
He walked her up the stairs to the bathroom and every step y/n took, her grip on his hand tightened. Loki didn't complain a thing. By the time they reached the bathroom, her grip could crash his bones. Still, the God of Mischief made no comment about it.
He opened the door and walked inside first. Three steps into the room, he was stopped by a force in his hand pulling him backward. Not pulling backward, actually, but it prevented him from going any further. He turned around and saw y/n standing there by the doorway. Her eyes started to get watery and her legs just froze. This was the very spot where it all happened. She looked at the far corner and could particularly see herself lying on the ground. Oh God, maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe, she should never have allowed him to take her here. Maybe, she should run away now, away from this room.
Loki saw the look of panic began to form on her face and he was fast to act "Hey hey, it's okay. I'm here" he took a couple steps closer, now standing right in front of her, his free hand cupped her cheek in no time at all "You're alright. I won't let anything happen to you" The Trickster looked her in the eyes, his hand pushed a strand of hair out of her face. And no matter how insecure y/n felt, hearing Loki's voice and feeling his touch always clam her nerve. So she didn't protest when he snaked his arm around her shoulders and gently guided her body forward until she was now inside the room.
Being careful with every slightest movement, making sure she was relaxed and not tense, he made her stand still in the middle of the bathroom. He walked over to the bathtub, turned on the faucet. Then, walked back towards her. His hand touched the hem of her shirt, he held it there. The God of Mischief wanted to be as slow as possible, so she wouldn't feel too stressed "Allow me" Loki's voice as though he was asking for a permission, her permission. Y/n didn't say anything. Just nodded. Loki nodded back before beginning to take off her clothes. She let him. Standing as still as a doll.
After Loki undressed her, he grabbed her hand and walked her to the tub. Y/n's eyes on the floor the whole time. She was so shy. Always been so shy and fragile. Lucky for her, Loki knew to always be soft and gentle with her. He let her stand there as he ran his hand through the water to check if the temperature was right. It felt just about perfect, not too cold and not too hot. Y/n would be comfortable. Turning to the side, Loki gave y/n yet another reassuring smile and reached out his hand. This time, she knowingly placed her palm on top of his, and he led her inside the tub. She sat down against the side, the warm water reached her shoulders felt so good, so relaxing. For the first time after so many nights in the hospital, y/n actually felt relaxed.
Loki sat by the tub, he grabbed a bath-sponge and put it in water before bringing it to y/n's face, gently cleaning her. Her limbs stayed by her side under the water. She didn't react when he grabbed it and lifted it up, so he could run the soft material along the delicate skin on her arm, then up to her shoulders, down to her chest and moved to her back. Loki took his time with every inch of her body, making sure there was not a spot missed. He even washed her hair and massaged her tensed muscles. All for her. So she'd feel good. Obviously, there was nothing the God of Mischief wouldn't do to make his girl as comfortable as possible.
After she was all clean and nicely wrapped up in fluffy towel, Loki got her her pink PJs. It was her favorite. He knew it since he always remembered every little detail. After he changed her, Loki scooped her up in his arms and made his way towards the bed. During the short journey from bathroom to bedroom, y/n had her hands clenched tightly onto his shirt and her face snuggled against his chest. It made a slight chuckle leave his lips. His little girl was always so needy and clingy, it was so adorable, the way she saw him as her savior.
Loki sat on the bed with his back against the headboard, y/n on his lap with her back facing him. Like a child, she played with her thumbs on her lap as Loki combed her hair. And he couldn't help but smile softly as he twirled a stray of her soft locks around his finger. Despite everything that happened, it never failed to amuse Loki when he got to take care of her, to dress her and to comb her hair like this. She was like a doll. His very own personal little doll.
┈┈ ❋ ┈┈
"Darling..." "I'm not hungry. I'm sorry..." y/n's voice as small as always. Her eyes glued to her lap as his glued to the plate on the table in front of her. The pancake looked as though it haven't been eaten, just a small piece missing it was almost unnoticeable. It's been a week and y/n barely touched any food. Except for when she was still in the hospital, she really had to eat what they gave, so they wouldn't force-feed her. But once back at home, water became her only source of nutrition. She lose so much weight, grew so thin that Loki didn't remember ever seeing anyone looked so small and skinny it was horribly unhealthy. Sighing, the God of Mischief knew he told himself he wouldn't be so hard on her, but he couldn't let this continue for any longer. She could easily get sick. Her body needed nutrition.
"Y/n, no, you have to eat"
"But I'm not hungry... don't make me..." She murmured.
"No buts, please, open your mouth"
Few seconds later, y/n gulped and reluctantly did as told. Her depression drained all the appetite out of her, making the delicious pancake appear so tasteless. But y/n, not wanting to cause Loki any more trouble, forced herself to swallow the bites he fed down her throat until the plate was empty.
┈┈ ❋ ┈┈
Another week rolled by like a roller coaster, there were ups and there were downs. In those hard times, Loki felt nothing but hopeless and clueless. Any smallest thing could trigger y/n and it resulted in her having a psychotic break where she'd scream and throw whatever object she could grab at him.
Tonight was one of those hard times. Loki's hands became his only sort of shields protecting his face from things being thrown his direction. He forced his way up to y/n and grabbed her wrists forcefully, though still not hard enough to hurt her. Y/n screamed and thrashed around. She managed to scratched him. Though Loki ignored the blood drops running down his arms. All that mattered for the God was the broken girl standing in front of him. It took a while, but Loki finally managed to cup her cheeks and held her head still, so her eyes couldn't leave his.
"Y/n, please, it's just me! You're alright. I'm here. Nothing's gonna hurt you. Nothing's gonna hurt you"
"L-Loki?" Y/n's voice cracked, her eyes teary.
Loki nodded and gave her a smile "I'm here"
"Loki!" She thrown herself in his arms, crying in his chest. Loki wasted no time, quickly wrapped his strong arms around her trembling body. She was shaking like a leaf!
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" Y/n choked on her own sobs.
"Shh, it's okay. It's okay" Loki whispered in her ear, his hand running through her hair as he guided both of them down on the floor with her curled up into a tight ball on his lap. They remained on the ground, him rocking her back and forth and repeatedly whispering the rhythmic 'Shh shh shh' in her ear. Only when Loki was sure y/n calmed down did he scoop her up, got back up on his feet and carry her towards the bed.
Laying his back down on the satin mattress, he let her sleep on him. His chest was her all-time favorite pillow. The sound of his heartbeat was the best lullaby, lulling her into sleep.
All the crying and screaming sure drained y/n a lot of energy that it took only ten minutes, and she fell into deep slumber in his arms. Though Loki stayed awake. He always stayed awake to make sure y/n was okay, and that nothing bothered her in her sleep. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Looking at her sleeping blissfully on top of him. God, she was so pure, so innocent. Too innocent for this cruel world. Loki would make sure no harm come to her ever again. He'd protect her from this filthy world and from herself with his last and every breath. No matter what it'd take, he'd keep his princess safe.