"It doesn't make any sense." I shake my head slowly, taking a step back. "What do you mean, you thought I was dead?"
Brandon sighs, running a hand through his hair. When his eyes meet mine again, he's dead serious.
"Four years ago, when the East Agency found me, they thought it was a better idea to not tell the North Agency about me being alive. It would be dangerous for Vincent Alvarado or his men to find me, once they realized I wasn't dead."
"Yeah, that's what you told us already." I cross my arms, frowning.
He takes a breath before continuing.
"Once I recovered from my injuries, I asked them what happened to you." He pauses, staring at me intensely. "They told me you died."
I shake my head, pacing back and forth in front of him.
"Why would they tell you that?" I ask finally, glancing in his direction.
He shrugs, his jaw clenched. "I don't know, maybe they really thought..."
I keep pacing, shaking my head to myself. With everything, I've never thought about that East Agency again.
Something doesn't make sense.
How did they supposedly know if I was dead or not? To be able to say that, they needed to find my body. But clearly, they didn't, because I didn't see them that night, saving Brandon.
I was already gone.
Leaning against the wall, I rub my eyes. Then look up at Brandon, who's watching me with a careful expression.
"And you believed them?" I mutter after a while, clenching my hands into fists.
Brandon walks towards me slowly, like he's scared that I'll run away.
"At first, I didn't want to." He leans against the wall next to me, his arms falling to his side. One wrong move and his fingers will brush mine. "I tried to text your phone number, and when I didn't get any reply... what was I supposed to do?"
I try to ignore how his voice breaks at the end as if talking about this is painful.
It should be for me, too. But I guess I got used to the pain.
"I wanted to find you," he continues, clearing his throat. "I wanted to go back to the NA, but I couldn't. The East Agency wouldn't let me, anyway."
A few moments pass before I find the strength to say the next words.
"I... changed my phone number, just after you died."
I close my eyes. I only hear my breathing and his own. I feel a little dizzy when his fingers brush mine, sending a shiver through me.
"I know," he says quietly. "It's okay, I guess. You would have probably freaked out and never believed it if somehow, your dead boyfriend texted you."
I glance at him. He blinks in surprise. I guess my stare is intense.
I would. I would have believed it, goddammit.
Of course I would have. It would have been easier to believe it after a few weeks, than after a few years.
"You know how I said earlier that most people want revenge but it's useless?" he continues, looking me in the eyes. "I did want to take my revenge, after that night. I wanted to find whoever took your life and take his own. But I realized that it would be useless. You wouldn't come back."
I don't say anything. I breathe in slowly, trying to control what I feel right now. Then, I frown as I realize something.
"So that's why you told Nova that your girlfriend died," I state quietly, looking down.
He stays quiet for a moment.
"Of course," he voices slowly. Then, "You thought I said that to hurt you?"
I say nothing.
"Goddammit, Sophia." He sighs and turns towards me, his eyes burning with restrained anger. "When will you understand? I—"
Mr. Neil enters the room, cutting him off.
"Sophia," he says, looking between Brandon and I. I step away from the wall and Brandon.
"Mr. Neil, I just want to say that—"
"You're okay. That's all that matters." He pauses, walking towards me until he can place his hands on my shoulders. "I can't afford to lose my best agent."
A small smile appears on my lips, but I make it disappear before he or Brandon notice.
With a serious expression, he drops his hands. "We need to talk about what happened. The Bird—"
"And why I went out last night?" I intertwine my fingers together, taking a deep breath.
Garry frowns slightly, pushing his glasses up his bridge.
"I think I'll leave you two alone, then," Brandon announces, straightening. He was still leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.
He starts to walk away after nodding to Mr. Neil. I don't even question myself when I grab his arm to stop him.
"Stay," I say.
I can tell he's surprised by my demand. Both of them are.
Me, brave? Definitely not. I can't even face Mr. Neil alone for what's coming.
However, Brandon doesn't leave like I thought he would. He walks back to his spot against the wall and turns towards us. Giving us some space, but still staying here, silently encouraging me to tell the truth.
I take a deep breath and look at Mr. Neil. Then I say everything about my mission involving my supposedly dead father. All my researches, all my pictures, all my nights out, everything.
I'm ashamed to say that I can't even look him in the eyes while I speak. Maybe because lying to the only man who acted like a father to me is somehow the worst thing that I could do. One of the only thing that could really make me feel something.
Shame. And pain.
Mr. Neil listens. I can't tell if he's ashamed, too. If he's angry, disappointed by me. But at the end of my speech, after I finally said everything, leaving me breathless with a hole in my stomach, feeling like I am nothing now that I don't have any secrets and like lies were the only thing filling me until now, Mr. Neil just smiles.
"You were too young back then, Sophia. You were only a child that got her heart broken when she lost both of her parents. Of course, I didn't want you to do something like you did. I knew it would kill you, if after all these efforts, all these years, you wouldn't find anything. You wouldn't get your revenge."
I swallow. Mr. Neil takes off his glasses and looks down at me with that expression that a father would use while talking to his daughter.
"I'm willing to help you find your father. But not now. You're in danger, Miss Montgomery, and you need your full focus. And once the Bird situation is over, we will try our best to know what happened to your father." He pauses. "And we will do the right thing, then."
I nod, feeling a lump forming in my throat. I feel lost and fucking vulnerable now, but I don't let it show and only give a small smile to Mr. Neil.
"Thank you," I say, meaning it.
He nods, putting his glasses back on. Then, as if something occurred to him only now, he looks at me with a frown.
"You said that last night, you went out with that picture of your father and asked that man about it."
I nod, not sure what he's thinking. Brandon appears to my side, a doubtful expression on his face. We stare at Mr. Neil.
"And then, he recognized you like the Bird?"
I nod again. Mr. Neil stays silent, lost in his thoughts. I think he'll say something, but he just shakes his head, looking up at us.
"Get some rest now," he concludes with a soft smile.
"I don't need rest."
Brandon and Garry roll their eyes. I scowl at them before I cross my arms.
"You do. It's just six am. Sleep, and then we'll talk later." Mr. Neil starts to head towards the door. "That's an order."
I sigh. When he leaves me and Brandon in the empty room, we both stay silent for a moment. Then, when I recall Mr. Neil's words, I furrow my eyebrows.
"It's six am," I repeat, turning towards Brandon. "What were you doing by my side?"
He shrugs a shoulder, but his gaze is intense. "I needed to know if you were going to be okay. I wanted to wait until you wake up."
I nod slowly, but for some reasons, I can't meet his eyes after his words.
"I'll let you rest," he finally announces, turning towards the door.
I don't look up. I wait until I'm sure he left, but to my surprise, he comes to a halt.
"Sophia?"
"What?"
"I'm glad I followed you last night," he murmurs softly, but it's loud enough for me to hear.
I tense and mutter under my breath. "Again."
"Yeah, again. And I'm not gonna stop. God knows what would have happened if I didn't follow my instinct, last night."
Why do you care?
But before I can ask him that, although I'm not sure I would have, he's gone.
*
A few hours later, I wake up in my dorm room and look around me in confusion. I don't remember going back here after Brandon left. I do remember falling asleep, but not in my dorm.
I rub my eyes. Something woke me up, and when I look to my left at my phone buzzing with a new message, I sigh.
Probably Britt who wants to see me or something, after hearing what happened last night. Then I remember that I should probably see her, to know if she found anything to help us.
I definitely need a new mission. Something that I'm used to, so I stop feeling like everything around me is falling apart and I actually have no clue what's going on or what the truth is and what I should do.
Shaking my head to myself, I grab my phone and expect to see Britt's name. However, that's not what happens and my whole body tenses.
What the fuck?
I read the message over and over again. Who sent this? What's this all about? A few seconds later, an address appears.
I clench the phone in my hand. I know I shouldn't do anything stupid, not after what happened last night. Mr. Neil is right. I'm in danger, for some odd reasons. I don't know what the Bird is or represent, and why the hell I am it, but I can't let The Circle find me.
But this message about my father?
The reason I went out last night was to find him. And suddenly, an unknown number sends me this message saying they have information for me.
Is this a trap?
Definitely.
But if it's true?
Mr. Neil told you not to do anything stupid like that. So did Brandon. Let them help you, after the Bird situation.
I close my eyes in defeat. I'm not used to that. To rely on people. I do my things alone, or used to do everything alone. Then, Mr. Neil thought I needed a partner—a new one, after Brandon's death—and I couldn't be that anymore. Alone.
And then Brandon was back with his new girlfriend. And he found out about my personal mission. So did Mr. Neil, and I'm left with... nothing.
That's it? You are left with nothing because you don't have secrets anymore? Or lies to tell people?
And I realize as I stand up that I still have lies to tell people. I just don't see these lies as what they are and try to convince myself that I'm being honest.
I'm not stupid enough to fall into an easy trap and lie about that message, though. I'm gonna go see Mr. Neil and the others and tell them about it. At least before I go out. Garry will probably not agree, but nothing can happen if I have backup, and this message will keep bothering me until I do something about it.
With new determination, I take a quick shower and change into black jeans, a black shirt, and I put on a coat.
I'm heading to Mr. Neil's office when Lizzy appears on my way. I slow down and stop, frowning down at her.
She furrows her eyebrows as well, and the concern in her eyes disturb me.
"Where are you going?" she asks, crossing her arms. Sometimes I have to remain myself that she's only fourteen because she definitely looks older and already has some authority in her.
Exactly like me at her age.
"To see Mr. Neil. Why? Don't you have to train?" I reply, looking briefly around me.
"You're going out somewhere. You're wearing your coat," she remarks, narrowing her eyes on me.
I tilt my head to the side and hold back a sigh. Lizzy continues, but I don't miss the worry in her voice.
"Where are you going again? I heard about last night and..."
She doesn't finish her sentence.
"I'm just going out for something after I talk to Mr. Neil," I say, and for once, it's the truth. I don't know why, but I feel the need to reassure her. And it disturbs me that she seems concerned.
With a softness she's probably not used to hear from me, I lean down towards her and say, "I'm coming back in a few hours. Don't worry."
She bites down on her lip and nods. Suddenly, I get why she sounds worried. Everyone here lost someone. And I don't know everything about Lizzy and her family, but I once heard Mr. Neil said that her older sister died. So did her mother. I don't know the details and I don't want them. I just know that right now, she's worried that I go out again because somehow, I took an important place in her life when I started to train her.
The thought of being important in her life scares me. Because I can't let someone love me. Care about me.
"Fine. See you later, Agent Montgomery." She nods with a little smile and turns around, walking away.
With that disturbing moment, I forget to tell to Mr. Neil about me going out, again.
And unfortunately, Brandon doesn't follow me, because he doesn't see me in time.
*
I look around. The wind makes my hair fly in my face, and I tuck some strands that escaped from my bun behind my ears.
I tell myself that this is a public place. It's daytime. Nothing can go wrong, and I'm not unarmed.
I glance down at my phone with narrowed eyes, making sure I'm at the right place. I am.
So what am I supposed to do now? Who is going to show up?
I wait for who knows how long. I'm careful to look around me. A shiver runs down my spine and I turn around, getting the strange feeling that there's someone—or something—aiming at me...
Someone taps on my shoulder from behind. I freeze because that's it; something is gonna happen. I'll either have a nice talk with someone who's going to tell me what I want to know or have a bad time getting what I want.
My fingers clutch around the weapon underneath my coat. I turn around. My eyes take a quick glance at the—
Woman. Just a woman in her fifties is standing in front of me.
I'm so surprised that for a moment, I don't know what to say or to do. I was expecting a man with his gun pointed at me, so when I see the soft smile of the woman, I blink a few times.
Not just a soft smile, though. And unfortunately for me, it takes me more than a few seconds to realize that her lips tremble and that her eyes plead me, maybe for forgiveness. Who knows.
I open my mouth to talk. Just when I'm about to ask her what's wrong, a familiar prick makes me stumble.
Someone catches my body just before I slip into unconsciousness.
*
Hi! ❤️ I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)
So sorry for slow updates. Life's been shitty for me recently and college is killing me, but everything's fine. 🙃
I don't forget you, no worries.
Get ready for everything's coming because Sophia is about to bring you with her in one hell of a ride, people. 😏
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Audrey
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