HI! So quick question! Would you prefer I update a few times weekly and save a few chapter or just update the whole of what I write every now and then? Like every time I finish writing one I post it?
Lol, I went with the second one. I don't do schedules when it comes to writing. It's done when it's done.
....
(Yoichi)
I sat alone in the room that had been assigned to me. Me... and Shiho. I couldn't stop the thoughts that I would never see him again. And I didn't even stay to wish him goodbye.
The girls that wee practically my sisters had already been ripped away, was the universe really so cruel as to take away my only beaten of light?
Of course it is.
Perhaps this was all the work of some sociopathic stalker, out for me for some unknown reason. But there's no reason to think that. People like me never really have the spotlight. If it is a nut job, they're not out for me. They're Out for someone else.
Shinoa and Mitsuba could be annoying, but they would never do anything to someone that would make someone want to kill them.
*knock* *knock*
I jumped at the unexpected sound echoing throughout the still room.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Mikaela." The answer was short, but enough to send me bad vibes just from the sound of his voice.
Yoichi, relax. It's just M(onika)ika.
"I'll be there is a second." I said, forcing myself up.
I opened the door and stood to the side a bit.
"Can I come in?" He asked with a blank stare.
"It's your house." I joked.
He entered, shutting the door behind him as I flopped onto the bed. My friend's 'roommate' sat down next to me.
I looked up to him and asked, "Was there something you wanted to talk about?"
He gave me a gentle smile. Or something like it. It wasn't the type of gentleness he showed towards Yuu, but he was trying.
"I just wanted to check in on you. I know it's hard to be apart from the people you love. Is there anything I can help you with?" He asked.
Well I didn't expect this from him.
"I'm not really great. I've been with Shiho for such a long time. I just can't think of him dead." I confessed. Mika always gave off this aura of trust. He seemed trustworthy... just not trustable.
"Well, Yoichi, he's not dead. Trust me on that one." He winked.
Not trustable in the slightest.
....
(Mika)
This should be easy enough. Yoichi is clearly the weakest link. I would have been able to leave him alone if him Kimizuki weren't close. Kimizuki posed the biggest threat at that moment.
I mentally narrowed my eyes, I wasn't about to let Yoichi see through me now.
Yoichi is docile. There's no telling what he's capable of when he needs to be.
...
(Yoichi)
"But why would you worry about him? He's not coming back." Mika said as if it was obvious.
"What?!" I exclaimed.
"Well, I thought that was obvious... after you two ended, it would only make sense that Kimizuki would want to leave. He had no reason to stay." Mika explained, his expression Turing to concern, "He did end it, right?"
"N-no!" I suddenly became expressly defensive, "Why would you even think that?"
Mika sighed, "What kind of asshole would do such a thing? Before he left, he told me he wasn't coming back. Kimizuki is going to the police, but he's done after that. He told me you two had drifted and that you had broken up." He looked at me with remorse, "I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have let him go if I knew."
"I-I drove him away." I told myself more than Mika, "Why? What happened?"
"I can't understand it. You're so sweet, Yoichi. You don't deserve that. I'm sure you were nothing but perfect to him." Mika tried to reassure me.
I was always a burden on him. I'm a burden on everyone. I'm useless. I couldn't even protect my own sister. No wonder he left me without a trace.
"Doesn't Kimizuki have the weapon Guren and Shinya smuggled in?" Mika asked.
"You knew?!" I gasped.
Mika only laughed, "Of course I knew. I know more about this house than anyone ever will. Nothing here gets past me."
"I drove him away." I said, this to to Mika.
"Oh, Yoichi. I find that unlikely. Why would Kimizuki throw away someone like you? You're spineless. Nothing more than a faithful dog." Mika smiled as if what he had just said was nothing more than a fact, "Oh! I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for it to come out that way."
I started to see it then. Although Mika looked concerned, he really wasn't. Although he looked at me with kindness, his kindness wasn't meant for me.
But... that just made me want his kindness. I wanted to know what Mika was really like. I can't explain why.
Maybe he's right? No one will ever love me for me.
But still, I smiled at the thought of my one remaining friend, "You know, I think it'll be ok. Even if no one loves me romantically, I still have Yuu. And he's the best friend I could ask for."
Mika places his hand over his lips an said, "Oh? Are you sure? I'm glad someone can make you happy. But Yuu won't always be there. Well, no, that's a lie. He'll always stay by you, that's just who he is. But eventually, you'll only burden him. He doesn't really need you."
He keeps lacing things like that into his words. Why? What does he want from this?
"I'm sure he'll put up with you forever, though. So don't worry." Mika said in a way that shouldn't have been said as sweetly as it was.
Everyone hates me.
"I brought you something," he said, "since that dick left you defenseless, I figured you could use a weapon."
He grabbed my hand softly and put a large steak knife into it. His hands were cold, but it was almost nice. Mika let his hands linger for a moment without realizing it, I was slightly disappointed when he finally stopped.
Mika's trying to protect me? I thought he hated me. Maybe... he just doesn't know how to properly express himself? Maybe he really does care about me? I need him.
Sick thoughts went through my brain of taking Mika away from Yuu by any means necessary. It was a bad thing to do. But I wanted someone like Mika. The way he was always touching, kissing, and complementing Yuu on things that sometimes aren't even true. I needed that.
"I misjudged you. You're a good person, Mika. Thank you so much." I smiled at him.
"It's not a problem. I don't want anything to happen to you." He offered me another sweet smile before standing up.
"Mika!" I called after him.
"Yes?" He turned, giving me his full attention.
"Why do you love Yuu?" I couldn't help. I was truly curious. Yuu was a good person, a good friend. But I just can't imagine how someone like Mika and Yuu would end up together.
Mika pondered for a bit, "I could spend a long time answering that question. There's so many reasons and so many thing I'm dying to talk about. The short answer is a simple one: He's my world."
"Is there anything you don't like about him?" I asked.
"Of course there is." Mika gave off one of the happiest laughs ever, "Yuu-Chan can't decide weather he loves me or wants nothing to do with me, creates problems that don't need to exist, and needs constant protection."
Maybe there is a chance for me.
"You don't deserve that. I'd do anything for you. If only Yuu wasn't the one you held so close." I blurted out.
His eyes widened more than humanly possible as he started to make odd sounds that weren't exactly words. More like, the search for words.
....
(Mika)
Oh...
OH! Oh, no, no, no, no!I don't fucking think so! Did he just? He did. He so did. He actually said that. What have I done? How will I fix it?
I tried my hardest to calm down and managed to regain some of my chill.
I don't want to have to kill this one. He's a sweet kid.
Maybe I can use this?
No, I can definitely use this.
....
(Yoichi)
"Are you stupid? We can't do that." Mika insisted.
"You said it yourself, Yuu is just irritating. And you were right, I deserve better than Kimizuki, and you're so much better." I said standing up, trying I get as close as possible to him.
"Yoichi, if you don't stop, you're only going to make things worse for yourself." Mikaela warned.
I placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "Mika, you can't tell me you didn't do the exact same thing to Yuu. I know you did. So just like him, you'll adapt."
He looked at me with a completely blank face. His eyes gave me a little scare when they darkened. Yet another interesting thing Mika could do, "Mind your own fucking business."
"You are my business." I smirked.
"This could've been easy," Mika sighed, "but you just had to make it complicated." He shoved me off of him and wiped his shoulder off on the spot I had touched.
"I don't understand. You were so nice to me." I said desperately.
"Yoichi," He said gently, giving me the look of someone who couldn't care less, "How could I love you? How could anyone love you? You're nothing. No one really cares about you. You're just useless- no, you're worthless. That's just who you are. You won't ever amount to anything."
He turned back to the door and walked out, "How pathetic can you be? You really went after the one person that actually cares weather or not you're alive's lover."
The door slammed behind him. I was left alone, shattered.
Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless.
I focused my attention on the giant knife I had put onto my bed. And could only think of the one thing I really wanted right now.
.
.
.
"I'm sorry."
....
Mika: Nothing here gets past me.
Ray:
Also I'm just gonna leave the music I listened to while I wrote this on here, but I was listening to "I Could Never Be Your Woman" for a good 12 minutes before I changed it. So yeah.