The previous journal had finished with that last page Hanna had read. And she had started to read the other she had found a couple of weeks ago.Her grandfather wasn’t surprised when he saw her with the new journal in her hands that Monday when she sat next to him.
November 16, 2009
10:58 a.m.
I want to write what happened yesterday and will take this literature period to do so. Anyway I already read the book for this month. I am still not sure whether I regret or not of what I did when I discovered that Diana was still sick.
The first thing I did, after putting on some clothes quickly was go and get Clara and Christian. Of that I have no regrets. Clara ran to the bedroom and checked Diana’s skin while I was standing in a corner of the room, not knowing what to do. Christian talked by phone and one of the bodyguards was calling to a hospital with a strange my name.
“We will take you to the hospital, get dressed,” Christian ended the call. “Jason, go get the car. Mrs. Prince, please take care of Skander and Matthew for the rest of the day.”
Christian and Clara left the room while they talked. I undressed Diana, without asking her consent, I went to get some clothes to her closet. She looked everywhere but my eyes. I took the clean underwear I'd take out. I bent a little and she put her hands on my shoulders to not lose her balance while I was setting her panties. Then I put her on the bra and baby blue socks.
I got the jeans up her legs; I put her on a white blouse and shoes of the same color. She sat on the bed and I knelt in front of her. I took her right foot and tied up the laces of the shoe. I repeated the same process with the left one.
“Niall...”
“Do not want to listen to you, Diana. You had a lot of time to talk, but you didn’t. If you didn't do it in the past, don’t do it now” I hushed her and she swallowed audibly.
I put her on a coat and while I was buckling the buttons she dared to look at me. But she looked away when I looked at her in the eyes. I put her the gloves and a scarf and brushed her hair before putting the beanie. There was a thin layer of snow on the street and the sky was grey, indicating a cold weather.
“I'm sorry,” she said in a low voice.
I took her by the chin and forced her to look at me.
“I'm more,” I mumbled.
Christian entered the room and told us that the car was waiting for us. I took my jacket and left the room, and the House, behind Diana. Skander and Matthew were still sleeping so the ones that will remain in the House wouldn’t have to worry about them in at least a couple of hours.
We got on in Christian’s car. He and Clara took the front seats and I with Diana in back. She rested her head on my shoulder and, although I was upset at her, I opened my arms so she found refuge. I took a deep breath to control my anger. Christian crossed a traffic light in red and a teenager in a sports car insulted him. Christian showed him the middle finger and accelerated even more.
“I am cold,” she muttered.
Clara turned to see Diana and frowned, worried. Christian turned sharply, causing us to crash into the left side of the car. He stopped in front of the emergency area. Doctors already expected us with a stretcher with an intravenous ready for her. A nurse opened the door of the car and in a wink of an eye they had removed Diana from my arms and they laid her on the stretcher.
They started to undress and put her on a hospital gown. They took her to the emergency room and closed the blue curtains to give a bit of privacy. A nurse took a needle for the intravenous route.
“Calm down, love, otherwise I cannot see your vein,” the nurse smiled at her and my girl opened her eyes horrified.
“Not!” shouted Diana before the nurse put the needle into her skin.
Diana tried to stand up and get out of there, but Christian held her so she couldn´t move.
“Is for your sake, Di,” Christian told her.
She continued screaming and kicking, trying to break out of the grip of her father. Christian watched with pain her daughter as she screamed and squirmed so that the needle didn’t touch her skin. I noticed that Clara had left. I moved uncomfortable in my place. I took off my jacket and I ran the hand through my hair, noticing that it was entangled.
I sat on the edge of the couch and looked at Christian. In silence I asked him to let me try it, but he refused to, looking at me coldly. Diana kicked me in the back and then in the stomach. I made a grimace and Diana yelled as if they were stabbing her with a knife. Christian looked at me and then looked at his daughter.
I know that it really hurt him when he gave me his daughter and left the situation in my hands. I made a sign to the nurse so she moved back a couple of steps. She looked at me angrily before obey my request. I sat in the middle of the bed in Indian position and forced her to sit on my lap.
“Diana, look at me,” I said and her brown eyes full of fear looked at me.
I took her hand and began to stroke it.
“Do you remember that time that you helped me sort the library? We were talking about those books that you liked...”
I slowly hooked her in conversation and slowly stretched her arm in the direction of the nurse. She seemed to understand the hint because she approached Diana with the needle ready. She took Dian’s arm and put the needle through her skin.
“All right,” I whispered. She looked at me blankly. I smiled.
She noticed the needle on her delicate skin and looked at it, shocked. She made the gesture of wanting to take off the needle, but I stopped her before she could do something. She looked at me angrily.
“Calm down. Does it hurt?” I asked and she nodded.
“Are you sure?” I raised an eyebrow and she thought it a moment. She shook her head.
“Now you'll stay quiet while they make you other tests.”
The nurse smiled at her and another arrived with a wheelchair. Diana was lowered, with my help, of the stretcher and sat in the wheelchair without flinching. I gave her a kiss on the forehead before the nurses took her away. One of them pushing the wheelchair and the other holding the intravenous route.
I felt the Christian’s eyes in my back. I turned on my heels to face him and he was there, with his firm posture but fear flooding his eyes. I shoved my hands in my pockets and sighed, looking at the white ceiling of the hospital.
“Thank you,” he muttered and I looked at him.
“Do you mind if I go? It should already be at home,” I lied. “Please tell her that I will come to see her tomorrow.”
Christian nodded and told one of his bodyguards to take me to his house to collect my things. I said goodbye with a nod of the head and, after taking my jacket, I followed the man dressed in black up to outside. We got to the car and I crossed my arms while he took me to the Cohen House. I was so furious with Diana. I felt stupid for not having realized it before. How can you hide something like that?
I slept with her more times than I can count and none of those times I realized that she was... sick.
When we arrived at the house, Jason just said something to Mrs. Prince, which I couldn’t hear, before returning to the car to return to the hospital. I me slip to Diana’s bedroom. I didn't run into her brothers. First, because it wasn’t in the mood and second, because I didn't want it to be me the one who told them that their sister was in the hospital. I took my backpack and I kept all my stuff.
I put on my jacket and then hung the bag on my shoulders. I put on the helmet, got on my bike and went away from the house before I could think about going back to the hospital.
From the above I don’t regret anything, the following is what I have doubts about.
After an hour on the road, I finally came to my house. Of course, that dad and I are not talking to each other, not after what happened on November 11. Needless to say that being alone with my irrational thoughts, on the road for an hour had only infuriate me more with theories and explanations that never reached a good conclusion.
At that time I thought that Diana had not told me that because she wanted to hurt me repeating the story of my mother. That was the stupidest theory but it was which had engraved in my mind.
I wanted to hurt her to prove that she is nobody to hurt me and I made a stupidity. After pulling and creasing paper, break some things and cursing aloud locked up in my room, I decided that the best way to hurt her was to operate the plan of Audrey.
Smiling maliciously, as if a very elaborate and perfect plan would have occurred to me to kill someone, I left my house and went to the Audrey’s home. Arianna greeted me with a smile. The smell of nail polish indicated that her red nails had been just painted. I smiled back at her, happy about what my mind had thought.
I went up to the Audrey’s room knowing that she would be there and that she wouldn’t come out until later. Without bothering to knock at the door, I went into her room. She was sitting on her bed writing something on her phone.
“What brings you here, Niall?” She left her mobile to the side to give me her full attention.
“I think that what I have to say you may interest you a lot,” her lips outlined a malicious smile equals to the one my lips were shaping.
She patted the place next to her, indicating me to me to sit down on her bed. I sat and told her everything. All the secrets that Diana had told me. Even those so insignificant and silly secrets that I didn’t bother to write in these pages. Audrey's eyes glowed whenever something new came out of my mouth and could see how her face reflected the plan that her brain was making up.
“I am glad to know that you are finally doing your part.”
Audrey laid down on her bed, with her hands behind her head.
10:49 pm
All day I felt guilty for having told all to Audrey. Several times I thought of telling Liam or Audrey I wanted to finish, cancel, the plan. But Audrey does not play fair, and even if I retract, she will use the information that I gave her for her benefit. It was cornered between Audrey, Liam and Diana. But when people are mad they make stupid decisions. I am one of those people.
After leaving school, feeling somewhat guilty, I went to the hospital to visit Diana. I didn’t even bother to go home to change my clothes. You can already imagine the face that nurses put when they saw me entering the hospital in my school uniform and backpack over my left shoulder.
“Yes?” Asked reluctantly the nurse behind the counter.
“I come to visit Diana Cohen,” I said and I rock on my feet while I pursed my lips.
“Sorry, but the time of visit is over.”
“Today is Monday. Time of visit ends at 6:15 p.m. and just they are 3:37 p.m. “ I pointed out the small sign with the schedule.
She huffed and checked the notebook in front of her. She took out a pen and prepared to write.
“Name?”
“Niall Horan,” she wrote it maybe wishing that I were Harry Potter and words appeared in my hand making me twist of pain.
“Second floor. Room 258,” she told me and nodded to where the stairs were.
“Thanks.” I turned on my heels and walked to the hospital up to the stairs.
I remember perfectly why I hate hospitals, I remember when I see people crying or with concern taxed on their faces. The smell of medicine gave me nausea and white walls were bland, boring and sad. Who wants to be in a sad place when all what you want is a bit of hope?
We humans are masochist, people simply don’t realize.
I climbed the stairs running and things inside my backpack bashed with a dry noise. On the second level, the walls were a pale yellow and the paintings on the walls were true art and not simply paintings made at randomly.
I stopped in front of Diana’s room. I gave three minor knocks at the door before entering the room. This hospital room was large and very illuminated by a window. Diana was sitting in bed, eating lemon ice cream; Clara was folding Diana’s clothes and saving them in the small suitcase.
“Hi, doll,” I greeted approaching her.
I raised my hand to greet Clara. Diana got the last spoonful of ice cream in her mouth and left the small vessel on the nightstand. She seemed to be very comfortable while the needle was still in her skin. She looked at me as if nothing was happening. I smiled. I sat on the bed and she jumped on my lap. I embraced her.
“How do you feel?” I stroked her hair.
“Well. I can now return home,” Clara closed the suitcase.
“And why are you here? Why did you get sick now?” I intertwined her fingers of her right hand with mine.
“Because I have not been taking my pills,” she mumbled and snuggled against me so I didn’t get mad at her.
“Why do you have not taken the medicine?” I asked somewhat annoyed. If she knew that her health was not the best she should have taken the pills and we would have saved us this mess.
But if she had taken the medicines I would probably never know that she was still sick.
“Because I was very distracted with you,” she muttered and tangled her fingers in my hair.
I frown.
“Doll, if you're with me I want to make you feel good. In all senses. You can not simply stop taking the medicine. You gave us a good scare.”
I kissed her forehead and pressed her against my chest. I liked when she was like that. It was as if nothing could happen to her. It was as if I was her shield. I supported my chin on her head and rocked her in my arms.
“When are you going to go back to school?” I asked.
“On Wednesday. I'll stay a day at home.”
“Mmm... I’ll miss you,” I kissed her cheek and squeezed her more. She made a strange sound.
I dropped her and we both laughed.
“The weekend we can go for a coffee? Like a date?” She muttered.
“I think that others will go to the beach and also that we are invited.”
“To the beach? In November?”
“I know that it sounds a little strange, but we can hope that the day will be perfect.”
“I don’t think that that happens in November.”
“Have a little faith. If the day is cloudy or cold we can go for a coffee, although I know that you'll end up asking for a hot chocolate and one of those cookies that you like so much.”
I pinched her stomach with my index finger and she laughed.
I wasn’t a long time with her. I believe that only an hour and a half. When she was released a nurse came to take away the intravenous and Clara told him that they had to leave already. I followed them outside to her car, and I said goodbye to Diana with a soft kiss before opening the door as all a gentleman. She climbed up the car and I stood there watching as the car was going away from the hospital.
November 19, 2009
9:54 pm
“You really don't know anything?” Brooke inquired and Diana shook her head.
“God. The rumor has been hovering since Sunday and nobody knows if it’s false” Nadia fixed her skirt in a childish act. I knew she felt bad talking about people behind their backs.
“I don't know anything... I was not in the house all these days.”
Diana squeezed my hand. These three were talking in a low voice, just a few steps from where the others were. I was next to Diana, with the headphones. They believed that I could not hear their little gossip, but I could.
“Some say that they saw her buying the pregnancy test at the store. You know a place so small nobody can have secrets,” Brooke said.
“I don't think it's true. I do not think that Audrey is pregnant,” Diana shook her head and discreetly looked towards where Audrey was.
Yes. That was the topic of today. Everyone in the school had different versions of story and different theories leading to the same question. Was Audrey pregnant? What can happen in a couple of days...
“Niall,” Diana took off one of my headphones, not knowing that I could hear her perfectly.
“Do you know something? You are her best friend...” Nadia asked as she passed her fingers through her hair.
“No, I don't know anything,” wasn't lying. Audrey hadn’t said anything and it’s not as if she had time to do it because I was very busy with all the Diana stuff.
I embraced Diana by the waist and supported my chin on her shoulder.
“Why don’t you ask her?” I asked without understanding why they hadn’t used the easier answer to the problem.
“You know how Audrey is. She would give us a good punch if we ask her.
“But do you think that she can be?” Nadia asked concerned.
“Hmm... The truth is that Audrey is not a Saint and has been with almost the entire male population of the school... There is a good chance that she is, indeed.”
“Niall!” Diana looked at me with furrowed brows.
“I say only the truth. And I think that you three” touched Diana’s nose “, young ladies, know well that no method is completely safe. There is a margin of error of one percent...”
“And if it is... who is the father?” Brooke raised an eyebrow.
“That is more difficult to know. Audrey is not a one man girl...”
“You're calling her a bitch indirectly, did you know?” Diana I scolded.
“Never said that she wasn't... But the truth is that I know nothing. In addition, I don’t think that Audrey has mother’s material. Can you see her as a mother to be who at least knows how to do something?” I asked them and all refused.
“Well then we most hope she is not,” I said looking at Audrey. The bell rang and everyone began to enter the school.
I took Diana’s backpack along with mine and we both walked into to the school. We stopped at her locker so she could get her stuff. She opened it and pulled out her book of literature.
“I can't believe that this gossip is hovering over there... I say, why they don’t get on their fucking lives and leave her alone?” Diana was defending Audrey without knowing that Audrey hated her.
“We humans like gossip... So we are experts in creating them.” I shrugged.
“Yes, I know it. But you cannot create a gossip that big... That is bad,” she looked in the small mirror in her locker’s door while applying a thin layer of cherry flavor lipstick.
“That's what you, as all a Lady of high society, think. Here most of the people are uncivilized,” she gave me a nudge because of the comment and closed her locker.
“I know but really I don’t think that the Audrey I know is pregnant.”
“But you don't know her really,” I thought and gave her backpack so she could save her books.
I didn't have the slightest idea of how but when Diana missed school she managed to have all the pending tasks ready to be graded by the teacher. Perhaps that's why teachers didn’t get bothered when she was absent...
We both entered the literature room and we sat together at the back seats. She began to take out her things and prepare what would be required for the class while I just sat there watching her... Gradually the classroom began to fill up. All spoke while they occupied their seats.
Diana pulled the folder where she kept all her done homework just when the professor of literature came to the class. I saw the blonde hair of Audrey entering behind the teacher and sitting on one of the front seats.
All day Audrey behaved as always, nothing had changed. All of that pregnancy must be a silly gossip that grew out of a mistake. In addition from lips to lips stories change. So I will believe that it is a silly rumor and I will continue with my day...