i know y'all are sick of this song but trust me i made this playlist before it was a single and was overplayed like there was no tomorrow i'm sorry in advance x
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I believe it was safe for me to say I almost screamed. I ran back to my homeroom and sat excitedly in my seat. I was practically jumping in my seat. I didn't even put my headphones back on. I was too excited. Even Michael was looking at me weirdly.
hi :-)
YOU LEFT ME ALONE FOR ALMOST THREE MONTHS YOU DOUCHEDICK
well that was a very nice greeting :-(
would you rather me kick your ass for leaving me alone? i don't think so, babycakes.
you just sassed me and called me my nickname in one sentence and i'm not so sure how i feel
hOW ABOUT AN "I MISSED YOU, TOO"?
BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY "I MISSED YOU"
I MISSED YOU, ASSHOLE
I MISSED YOU TOO, CAKEFACE :-)
Now you must answer the question: Why the FUCK did you leave me for three months? Look, I know that I sound clingy as hell, but do you blame me? We were perfectly fine and then you just disappear off the face of the earth for three months. You deleted your Instagram and I freaked out, Lucas. I thought you died or something. I was feeling especially lonely. My mom and I aren't exactly cool at the moment, and I couldn't talk to you, and... Luke...
I broke our promise.
Calum...
I'm sorry, okay? I just couldn't help myself.
More on that later. I'll explain why I haven't been around.
Okay.
My parents found out about me trying to commit suicide. They had me delete my Instagram, Twitter, and some other stuff. Hell, my mom even blocked Instagram on the App Store. I've even been getting nightmares lately. I thought I lost you, Calum. But then I realized I followed you, and the sunshine started pushing away the rain clouds.
You're really fucking cheesy.
You love me for it :-)
Now it's your turn. Tell me everything.
Well, there really isn't much to say. I've been fighting with my mom a lot. You weren't there when I really needed you. I broke our promise. That's basically it.
Oh, and I missed you a fucking lot. I'm not sure if that's relevant...
I missed you so much, Calum. You have no idea how much I've missed you.
And now I need to go to class. Time-zones are fucking incredible.
okay i have to go byeeee
i love you cakeface :-)
go to class before i get you in trouble aha
i love you too babycakes :-)
I locked my phone and practically skipped to history class.
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"You look happy today," Ashton said as he caught up to me. "Happier than usual. What happened?"
I just got my best friend back. "Eh. It's Valentine's Day. Love is in the air."
"You hate Valentine's Day."
"Sh," I said, pressing a finger to my lips. I continued to skip to class, Ashton scurrying behind me. I rushed to my seat as Ashton greeted our history teacher, Mr. Blake. Ashton sat in his seat, which was in the next row from mine, and we started to talk.
"So, what did Michael give you?" I asked him.
"He gave me the unicorn from Despicable Me," Ashton said with a smile. "Despicable Me is my favorite movie ever, so it means a lot. Plus, the unicorn's huge! I'm going to cuddle it every night."
"You might as well replace Michael with the unicorn as your cuddle buddy."
"Maybe I should. But not really. I love Michael too much."
I pouted. "The Mashton feels are on overdrive and it's becoming too much for meeeee," I whined.
Ashton laughed, and then the bell rang. Mr. Blake decided to put on a video, so I simply slumped my shoulders and rested back on my chair.
I didn't pay much attention to the video. My phone was burning in my front pocket to text Calum. I looked to the side. Ashton was writing something. I don't know what Ashton writes, but he's writing almost every day. I've seen a "Dear Michael" a few times on the top of a paper. It always made me wonder what kind of message Ashton is trying to give.
Sitting behind Ashton was Rylee. Not only was she not paying attention to the video, but she was sleeping. It was always a bit chilly in February, and Rylee was wearing a t-shirt. Her arms were folded over her chest and her neck was craned to the right. She looked cute when she was sleeping. I couldn't help but get the feeling that she looked cold. I took off my Fall Out Boy sweatshirt, leaving my All Time Low shirt to be exposed. I held the pullover in my hands, staring at Rylee. I stared at her, then diverted my attention to my sweatshirt. I sat there, not doing anything. I was still wondering if I should offer my sweatshirt to her or not.
I sighed, using my sweatshirt as a pillow and resting my head on it. I didn't offer my sweatshirt to Rylee. I didn't want to wake her up, for one. I was also scared that she might think it'd be weird of me to offer my sweater. It's an act of kindness, but even I am starting to think that my crush is a little bit evident.
The video ended and the bell rang, and Ashton and I walked to English class.
"What do you think we're doing in English class today?" Ashton asked.
"Probably listen to Miss Malone complain about boys," I answered with a bitter chuckle.
"We do that every day," Ashton said.
"Exactly," I retorted.
We walked in the bungalow and took our seats right next to each other. Ashton took out his notebook and continued writing. There was a "Dear Michael" on the top of the page, leaving me to consider my assumptions correct. I didn't try to take a peek at what he was writing. I simply looked at the door and saw people coming in. Rylee walked in, and she had a sweater on now. I should have offered my sweatshirt...
I was glad it was Friday, because Miss Malone also put on a video. I spent most of my time texting Calum.
so how are you?
i'm good, i guess
what about you?
well i'm in class lol
you're such a badass
*flips hair and struts with prada purse* i know
why am i friends with you omg
because you love meeeeee
no i don't
yes you do
no
yes
fine i do
hold on i'll be right back
The bell rang for us to go to nutrition. I simply made my way to the bathroom and sat in the stall. I pulled my phone out and started texting Calum again.
hi i'm back :-)
hi back i'm dad
YOU DID NOT
YES I DID WATCHU GONNA DO ABOUT IT
THOSE WERE WORSE THAN THE MOON MOON MEMES OH MY GOSH
THE MOON MOON MEMES WERE LIFE
DON'T INSULT THE MOON MOON MEMES
I HAVE INSULTED THE MOON MOON MEMES
WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS ANYMORE
NO COME BACK
I DON'T LIKE YOU
I'M SORRY
it's ok i forgive you
sometimes i really don't like you
lies
seriously
you lie
no i don't
you still lie
i don't like you
LIAR LIAR YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR SINS
you just made a song reference and therefore i like you again
i'm just lying on the floor listening to sws man idek
i'm still in school
ha sucker
shut up
you shut up
oh, how's it going with that rylee girl?
dON'T EVEN START WITH HER
did she become a bitch or something?
no
then what happened?
sHE'S FUCKING AROUND WITH MY EMOTIONS MAN
SHE'S SO PRETTY AND I WANT TO ASK HER TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND BUT I'M TOO SCARED TOO
I WANTED TO OFFER HER MY SWEATER TODAY BECAUSE SHE WAS COLD
BUT I DIDN'T
AND NOW I'M MAD AT MYSELF
whoa, mate
calm down
i just realize i never said happy valentine's day to you
happy valentine's day <3
but i really hate valentine's day oops
it's okay, i hate it too
why is valentine's day a holiday it has no purpose
it just reminds me of that monster high movie
you know
the one with draculaura and the evil valentine dude
you watch monster high?
my step-sister does
if you watch monster high i won't judge you
I DON'T WATCH MONSTER HIGH MY STEP-SISTER DOES OK
ok
i have to go to class weyhey
*dies*
bye cakeface :-)
haha bye babycakes :-)
sorry i can't save you :-(
I got out of the bathroom and I made my way to class.
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"Just one Chocolate Cookie Crumble please. No coffee."
The barista nodded, and I went to the back of the small building. Starbucks was always a comfortable place to me. I felt like I could bring my laptop here, buy a drink, wear a pair of glasses that I didn't own, and just write. I felt like this place was my comfort zone. The smell of coffee was intoxicating to me, and although I didn't drink it, I felt like I was at home.
"One Chocolate Cookie Crumble for Luke!" someone called. I went to the bar and grabbed my drink. I adjusted my backpack and walked out of the door, making my way back home.
I decided not to walk this time. I waited at the bus stop and took the Orange Line. I waited until we got to my bus stop, which was my home high school. I didn't go to my home high school for a lot of reasons. I didn't live in the best neighborhood. A lot of the kids here were drug and/or alcohol addicts. There was a large amount of unprotected sex between the students. There were also a lot of fights. Not to mention I worked my ass off to get to the school I'm in now. You had to get an acceptance letter to get there, and there were only 102 student openings. I was glad to be one of them, but sometimes I wonder if I wasn't as smart as they made me out to be. Sometimes I wonder if I was a mistake in the system and I wasn't supposed to go there.
I walked home the rest of the way, which was only about a ten minute walk. I climbed over the fence, crawled through my bedroom window, put my backpack down, and collapsed on the couch in the living room. I didn't want to move. I wanted to lay numb for the rest of my life.
Calum was probably in school now. I didn't make the effort to talk to him. I had no idea how the schooling system was in Australia, and I didn't want to risk getting Calum in trouble for texting in class.
I didn't eat dinner that night. I fell asleep on the couch.
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"C'mon, Lukey!"
Calum ran ahead of me. I laughed, chasing after him. I caught up to him and grabbed his hand. I intertwined our fingers, and he didn't seem to mind. We walked down the dirt path, swinging our connected arms as we went.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"Some place," Calum said with a smile.
"Where is this some place?"
"It's somewhere."
"You're so specific."
"I know," Calum said with a chuckle.
Calum and I continued to walk down the road hand-in-hand, and we finally made it to a small hut. It was like one of those cabins that you stay in on a winter getaway. Calum and I walked inside, none of us seeming to think that this could have belonged to someone else.
Calum and I stood in the building doing absolutely nothing. Our hands were still connected. We stood there in a comfortable silence, simply appreciating each other's company.
Calum soon let go of my hands. My hands felt cold as they lost his touch. I yearned for his warmth. He walked towards the open door, which was the only resource of light we had in his little cabin. Calum walked outside of the hut and closed the door.
"Calum?" I whimpered. "Calum, what are you doing?"
"Bye, Luke," he said.
"Calum!" I cried. "Don't leave!"
I ran for the door and pulled on the handle. It was locked from the outside.
"Don't leave me, Calum," I whispered. Tears started to roll down my cheeks as I fell to my knees.
"You're on your own, Luke," Calum said.
I heard his footsteps as he walked away. I kept my hands on the door, hoping that something would change and Calum would come back to unlock it. I waited for him, and he never came back.
"Don't leave me alone," I whispered.
"You were always alone, Luke."