With poptarts in toe I made my way to Maver’s room, careful to avoid so much as looking down the hall towards Logan’s door. I could hear it was open by the sounds coming from within. He was on the phone with someone, and the tone of the conversation didn’t seem positive. It wasn’t any of my business. None at all.
I tested the door knob, stacking the paper plates up in my left hand, and smiled when the door inched open. If Maver hadn’t locked it that was a good sign. He wanted me to come talk to him, Logan was right. And I guess I couldn’t really blame Maver for being so upset. Once again he’d caught me with his brother without knowing about it. Sure, my explanation was innocent enough, but if I gave it I’d only look more guilty. I knew how my best friend’s mind worked.
“Don’t you dare hide on me,” I huffed, stepping into the room, “especially after you just got done saying you miss me.”
To my surprise Maver wasn’t sulking on the bed like I’d expected. Rather his futon was in couch form, and he sat in a casual sprawl, one arm over the back of the couch. “What took you so long?”
“Peace offering?”
He looked to the poptarts and groaned, tilting his head back as he closed his eyes. “Is it ever anything but food with you?”
I dropped onto the futon next to him, holding one of the paper plates under his nose. “I want to talk to you.”
He gave in, opening his eyes as he snatched the plate I was teasing him with. “I have a few things to say to you too,” he moodily snapped. But even as hard as he was trying to play the ‘man’ role, there was no hiding my smile as he picked off a piece of poptart and pushed it into his mouth.
“I’m all ears. I’ve been waiting for you to come home.”
“You’ve been waiting for me?”
I nodded, tearing the edges of my poptarts from the center. “I was.”
He grinned, slipping his arm behind me to ruffle my hair. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” he started to tease. But then his smile fell a little and he narrowed his blue eyes in on mine. “But it sounds like you weren’t so alone after all.”
Logan. I frowned. “I don’t know if you noticed the line of coccain on the table when you walked in,” I hissed, “but Logan isn’t exactly real company.”
Even as I said it I felt terrible. He had been real company last night, believe it or not. I’d actually enjoyed the movie. True to his word it was not a mushy romance film. It had been just enough to keep me awake, but relax me enough that, by the ending of the movie, Logan’s position had shifted.
He’d somehow crept his way closer as the movie had gone on. He was closer now, his thigh pressing against me. My knees were hitched slightly over him, and he had one hand on my ankle. The other was on my upper thigh, his large hand spread out so his fingers reached inward, ending just before a very dangerous place for them to be. Neither hand moved, just rested there warm, firm and strong.
And I had just let it happen. I’d enjoyed it. I closed my eyes and relaxed trusting that Logan wouldn’t do anything. He wouldn’t dare mess up with me again. He was trying this time. And he felt wonderful. His skin tingled against mine. It felt so right. I felt like I was safe.
I had just said he wasn’t real company. That was a low thing to do. Worse yet; a lie.
But I couldn’t take it back or he’d know. He’d know that something had happened. He’d know I felt something.
I swallowed as he pulled me closer, hugging me into his surprisingly broad chest. He seemed bigger than I remembered. “I’m sorry you had to be around that Kara.” He acknowledged, piling on the guilt. “But answer me this – why do you smell like him?”
I froze, looking up into his glare. “I cuddled with him last night.”
His grip on me tightened the slightest bit as he tensed up. “What happened after that?”
“Nothing. I fell asleep and that was it. I would have known, trust me,” I paused, waiting for a reaction. When I got none I continued, “When I woke up I was just as I’d fallen asleep. Only Logan was in the recliner and there was cocaine out. And that was when you came.”
He sighed, burying my head against his chest as he pulled me tight against him. “I worry about you Kara” Maver inhaled a deep breath of my hair and my mind raced. He was acting so different! He was acting like a crossbreed of Logan and Maver and I didn’t know how to process it. Was I supposed to be weary of him like his brother, or welcome his embraces as friendly? He had been awfully touchy for the last times we had seen each other.
“Now what was it you wanted to talk about?” He released his hold on me to a gentle touch.
Though I could have moved away I found I didn’t. Like I’d done since we were children I found myself clinging to him. Steadying my nerves I eased myself away a comfortable distance before asking, “Do you, or do you not know Dylan?”
“Dylan as in your mysterious boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
“No, I swear on my life Kara I do not.” He suddenly seemed to realize how close he’d gotten to me and backed off as casually as he could.
I eased away as well, though I found I still ended up with his arm over my shoulder. “Do you have any idea who might? They know personal things about me Maver, and they are telling them to him.”
“You’d know better than I would who you’re closest too,” he intoned.
I took a little breath. Okay I deserved that. “Now what was it you wanted to say to me?”
“Your birthday. We’re having a party. Here. You know when, so you better show up.”
I nodded. “Of course.”
“Good. Then I’m done here.” He swiftly got up from the couch, leaving the side of me nearest him feeling oddly cold. “I have to go to school now.”
“Wait, school?”
He grinned. “My job’s paying for me to go.”
Stunned, I blinked. What, had he joined the army? “What exactly is your job?”
Suddenly very proud of himself he snatched up his bookbag. “I’m a video game tester.”
“But, you’re still in highschool! How can they be-“
“When’s the last time you saw me in school Kara?” he asked, grinning so brightly I thought I could hear my heart pop. “I dropped out. I already had the required credits to go to college for a programmer. And I did well on the test-“
“Maver!” I exclaimed, forcing my voice to lower I went on. “How could you drop out of school? What would your parents say?”
His brows drew together as he glared at me a moment, before his face finally relaxed to look more exasperated than anything. “I knew you’d say that. That’s why I went ahead and did it on my own. But now look. I really am going to college, and I really am working and getting paid for it.”
I was stunned. What had happened in what seemed like such a short time? One moment he was my best friend and now he was. . . someone else. But not really. He’d just grown up. Away from me.
Suddenly I felt rather insignificant. I didn’t have a car. Or a job. I was living out of a relative’s goodwill. I didn’t even know what I was going to be doing after school. I was going to be eighteen in days and then- was Aunt Margret going to kick me out?
“Hey, I’m doing really good. I thought you’d be happy?”
I met his eyes, the eager look deciding my answer for me. “I am Maver. I’m glad you found something you love to do and you’re good at.”
He tilted his head the slightest bit. “Then why do you look so sad?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and shrugged. “I dunno, just being pouty I guess.”
Always the gullible friend, he smiled. “Well don’t be. I’ve got to go but we’ll hang out soon I promise.”
I nodded, watching as he slipped out the door. I’d gotten the answer to my question, but the empty hollow feeling in my chest was stronger than ever. I sunk into the futon, staring blankly at the remainder of my poptart. I was in such a crappy mood I didn’t even want to eat.
“Why did you want to know if he knows Dylan?” Logan’s voice cut through the air. I lifted my eyes to where he stood, filling the doorway.
“You overheard?”
“It’s hard not to when you leave the door open.”
I gave in, closing my eyes. “Because Dylan knows things about me that I can’t explain. He claims it was Maver who told him.”
“But Maver doesn’t know him,” he finished for me.
I nodded. “Right. Meaning two things; one is Dylan is lying. And the other is-“
“I’m how he knows about you.”
My eyes snapped open as he cut me short. “But how?
“We both work at the same place. Both people who have to pay attention to the races and not actually partake. It’s only natural we talk.”
My mouth opened and closed, no sound coming out. What was there I could say? “How do I know you’re telling me the truth?”
“Why would I lie?”
“You said Maver was at his girlfriend’s,” I pointed out, my voice curt, “so pardon me if I don’t believe you.”
Logan shrugged, the muscles in his shoulders flexing. Once more he was without a shirt, and I suddenly realized the towel he was standing in. “It wasn’t my job to tell you. He wanted it to be a surprise.”
I tore my eyes away from the deep blue pillow that clung to his lower half. If I stared at it too long it may unravel and then I’d be in real trouble. “Was this a surprise too?” I asked, quite bitterly.
He laughed, “No. I’m better at surprises than this.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“How was I supposed to know?”
My eyes met his, narrowing to a glare as I took in his icy blue eyes. It was the safest place I could look, and still a dangerous one at that. “Why were you talking about me in the first place?”
He pushed his damp black hair from his eyes as he gazed at me. One hand raked through his hair quickly as the other patted the towel over his thigh. “I need a cigarette,” he finally grumbled, before turning and leaving the doorway.
“Oh no you don’t!” I was on my feet in a heartbeat, chasing him down the hall. He’d already turned into his room. I came to a halt in the doorway, peering in just as he dropped his towel. Luckily his back was too me so he didn’t see the shock in my face. Nor did I have to explain why my eyes were hungrily taking in every inch of him I could get. I’d never considered a guy’s butt before but suddenly he made the possibility of them being attractive hold a ring of truth to it.
“A little privacy?” he asked, a smirk lacing his voice as he turned to look over his shoulder at me, towel still in a pile at his feet.
I masked my shock with a cocky grimace. “You mean like I would have liked before you went and told a complete stranger all about me?”
“You mean your darling boyfriend?” he asked, rolling his eyes as he strolled across the room. I glared at him as he went, it was all I could do to avoid from the blush that threatened to come. Why did he have to be as attractive as he was obnoxious? “So he’s a stranger now?”
“He was when you told him about me!”
“You’re the one who started dating him.”
I swallowed unevenly, the truth hard to avoid. “Forget I said anything,” I muttered, turning from the room just as he began to pull on a pair of boxers. What had I been thinking, expecting to get answers from Logan?
“Wait.”
To my surprise his cool command cut through my thoughts, my feet freezing me in place halfway out the door. Though I had stopped, I couldn’t find the will to turn and look at him. Everything always had to be half answers with him. I’d never get anywhere. Worst yet I didn’t even know why. Why did he treat me so differently than everyone else?
I heard his feet thud gently across the floor, felt the air tense as he moved closer to where I waited. “That night at the party, meeting Dylan wasn’t a coincidence.”
“Logan-“
“Fuck, just let me finish for once Kara!” he cut me short with a growl. To both of our surprise I only nodded. “And would it kill you to look at me?”
I turned slowly on my heel, once more facing him. He was only a foot or two away, beads of water from his hair dripping down his chest. But for once I didn’t have a problem not looking at him. “I’m listening.”
“I didn’t know you well then, and what I did know I told him. I was drunk and complaining,” he gave a little half smirk, “not that that would surprise anyone.”
Logan sighed then, realizing he had my attention, and strode to his dresser once more. He stepped over his towel as he went, snagging up a pack of cigarettes from the top. “I guess you couldn’t really call it complaining because it made him interested to meet you.” He lit up the cigarette, and looked to me as he took a drag and let it out between his teeth. “I don’t think he went looking for you, but when he saw you alone at the bar. . .” he trailed off, finishing with a shrug. “Well I guess I can’t really blame him for wanting to get to know you better.”
His words sunk in slowly. If it hadn’t been Maver but Logan who had told him about me – “Why didn’t you say something?” I asked suddenly.
He gave a dry laugh, lacking all humor. “I’m not exactly a fountain of truth, remember? Besides, it wasn’t any of my business. It’s not like you’re mine.”
The way his blue eyes cut straight into me when he said that sent goosebumps parading over my skin. He was right, in no way was I his. If I had been Dylan wouldn’t have so much as gotten the chance to talk to me. Logan was possessive. He went into a rage whenever I was with someone he didn’t approve of. Especially Dylan. In his own way he had told me something was wrong, but under all of the other stunts he pulled I hadn’t even considered there was more to it.
“It’s a good thing too. We’d be at each other’s throats all the time. I don’t think a relationship based off hate goes very far.” His voice came out like a tease, but his eyes said otherwise. I ignored his cocky smirk and the way his muscles flexed as he shrugged. I looked past the way he stepped towards me, as though it were the most casual thing in the world.
“Hate you say?” I asked, holding my ground until he came to a stop within touching range. Only I wasn’t even tempted to touch him this time. I waited for his nod, for his mouth to open and give me another sarcastic reply- and then I cut him off. “You know, for hating me you sure are possessive.”
And the second my words sunk in, his eyes looking surprised as for the first time I got the upper hand with Logan, I smiled and closed the door before retreating down the hall. Check and mate.