You wake up in the same room once again. You were confused and couldn't remember anything that had happened before you woke up. Everything in your mind was blurred together. What had happened while you were asleep? How long have you been asleep? Did anyone show up to help you other than the boys? Were you dying? No, you couldn't be right. There had to be some logical explanation for what has been happening to you the past few days. It had been days, right? Not weeks or months, days.
Whichever it was you didn't care. You needed to know what was happening and you needed to know now. You sit up and look to your right to see Jensen asleep on the chair he had in your old room. You had to admit it was a comfortable chair, you weren't surprised when you saw him asleep in it. He was so peaceful you almost didn't want to wake him up but you had to because you needed to know what was going on.
"Jensen?" You weren't whispering. He was out cold. You decided to wait but you didn't want to get out of bed so you tried to look for something to do but couldn't find anything. You were bored. Falling asleep might pass some time, maybe even a lot of time. You just couldn't feel yourself being tired anymore. You must have been asleep for a long time if you aren't tired anymore. You also really had to pee. You flip the blankets over and step off the bed as quietly as you can and walk out of the room making your way to the bathroom.
You were in the middle of washing your hands when you were interrupted by Jensen yelling.
"(Y/N)? Where are you?" There were rushed footsteps until you opened the bathroom door.
"Jensen I'm fine. I'm right here." He takes a couple of steps towards you before wrapping his arms around you.
"You can't do that. You scared me to death."
"You are still breathing so I didn't scare you to death."
"Very funny." He let go of you and looked down at you seeing as you haven't grown much or at all for that matter. "How are you feeling (Y/N)?"
"I feel fine, I'm just scared. I don't know what's going on with me. How about you and Jared? You two are okay? Oh and work. What about work?"
"Woah Woah. Take it slow. Jared is at work right now he's explaining everything that's been going on and shooting a few scenes. You and I aren't going to have any scenes for a while, mostly because of what's happening. On the upside, it leaves fans in question because we aren't going to reveal anything that's been going on with you. Not until you are comfortable at least." You nod your head and look down.
"Jensen. I'm really hungry. Do you have food here or do I have to order food?" He lets out a laugh and you smile when you hear it. It was probably one of your favorite laughs to hear. It's one that you could match to Jensen in a room full of people. That laugh had definitely grown on you in the time you have known the boys.
"We can order in if you want to. This is a good idea anyway because we have things we need to talk about. A lot of things."
"Agreed. Can we order pizza?"
"Whatever you want (Y/N)."
"Well, I want pizza. Therefore that is what we are ordering." You smile and walk around Jensen making your way to the kitchen.
"Can I use your phone?"
"Of course." He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to you. You pull up the website for Little Ceasars Pizza and call in. After you order you hand the phone back to him and sit at the table.
"They said it would be ready in around 15 minutes. You can get it unless you want me to get it. I have to know though because I'm not ready to be in public yet."
"I'll have Misha and Jared stop and get it. They want to come to check in on you see if your feeling okay. You've been having some pretty bad panic attacks (Y/N). You had everyone worried sick. Jared hasn't gotten any sleep because he's been worried and Gen is making things a little complicated. He's trying to compromise something with her but he won't tell me what it is."
"You shouldn't be worried about me. Neither of you should." Jensen does a little side glance at you before sighing very loudly. A lot like Dean would when him and Sam would get into an argument about anything.
"We should be really worried actually. The paramedics said it could be worse. They said that you are having minor panic attacks and they could get worse. You just need to be less stressed out. That's why you should take time and be relaxed. That's also why we don't have to go to work for a while. Since most of my scenes are with you anyway, they said there wasn't a point."
"I get it, Ackles. I still need to go to work and so do you. I mean the fans love you. You have a crap ton of fan accounts on Instagram, Facebook, I mean a lot. Jared to. Pretty crazy really. I've never seen so many people like anyone that much until now." You had closed your eyes and your head was leaned onto the back of the couch. You didn't open them until you felt the spot next to you sink as if someone was sitting next to you. You open your eyes and look over to see Jensen looking at his hands.
"What's up, Jay?"
"Did you mean it?"
"Mean what? That I was hungry. Hell yes."
"No. No. Before you passed out. Did you mean it?"
"I don't really remember anything Jensen."
"You remember that though. Don't you? I mean you have to remember."
"Yes, Jay. I meant it."
"Jensen you in there?" You both look at the door after hearing Jared yell through it.
"Yeah man hold on a second." He looks back at you before standing up to open the door.
"Is she still asleep? Has she woken up? Jensen are you? Are you crying? Did something happen?"
"Jared I think he needs a little space." You hear Misha come into the conversation.
"Sorry, Jay." You hear Jared set something down and you hop off the couch and run to see the pizza sitting on the counter. You smile and you look over at Jared and Misha to see their shocked faces.
"Hey, guys."
"(Y/N)!" They walk up and hug you and through the hug you see Jensen. You could tell he was hurt. By what? you had no idea. You had to talk to him though. You needed to talk to him.
"Thank you guys for bringing the pizza. How about you come over later for dinner. I'll cook. Or we can go to Jared's house since it's bigger. I don't want you to be late getting back to set."
"I agree. I will plan and invite a few more people from the crew. See you guys later." Jared looks back at you one more time before closing the door.
"Jensen you should sit down. We should talk and eat. Go sit on the couch I'm going to grab some plates." He nods and walks towards the couch and plops down. You grab the plates and this pizza along with a couple beers and you take a seat next to him handing him a plate and opening the box and grabbing a slice.
"What do you want to know? Or say?" You look at Jensen and wait for him to answer.
"I'm sorry."
"For what? Jay, you have nothing to be sorry about. You shouldn't be sorry about anything. I don't want you to think you have to be sorry about anything."
"For putting you in this position. For putting you in a spot where you have to choose, which I will not force you to do, but now you feel like you have to and that's never what I wanted to happen. I wanted you to be comfortable and I just wanted you to know how I felt and that I will never want to walk away from you. I never wanted to put this weight on your shoulder. Ever. I never meant for any of that. I would never do that on purpose. I am so sorry about that. I am but everything I have ever said to you is true. 100% true. I swear to you that I would never hurt you. I would never leave you or put myself in a position to lose you. If you think I would then I am so sorry about ever even making you think that you have to be in that position at all. I never wanted that for you. I swear it on my life. I do love you (Y/N). Don't think that I don't please. If you decide to choose and you choose Jared I will still be here for you through everything. I will be here whether you want me or not. I will be right here." You weren't sure what to say. You had no idea. You had to say something. He was sitting there looking at you like if you said the wrong thing he would break into tears. He looked like he was about to break whether you said something or not.
So you didn't. You didn't say anything. Instead, you sat your plate on the coffee table and let him cry. You hugged him and let him cry as much as he needed to. You sat there and held him and he cried.
"Jensen. You shouldn't feel that way. I don't want you to feel that way. I don't really know what to say and that's my fault but Damn Jay. I don't think you should have to think that way. Hell, you shouldn't. I'm glad to know you are here for me whether I want you to be here or not. I don't want you to walk away and I won't walk away from this. I won't choose. Not now. I won't. You can count on that for sure. I promise I won't choose for a long time."
"(Y/N) if you want to choose I'm not going to stop you from choosing either if that's what you really want."
"Honestly Jensen. I don't know what I want yet. I just want a lot of things to stop happening. I mean I get it, you both love me and I appreciate it. I do and I love both of you guys. I understand you want me to choose but I'm not sure I can do that. Not yet anyway. I also feel like I'm putting all this pressure on you guys to think you have to make it up to me or steal my heart or whatever. I don't want you to feel that way either. Neither of you."
"I shouldn't have put all this weight on your shoulder either (Y/N). I wish I wouldn't have. I just wanted you to know how I felt."
"Jensen, you haven't put anything on my shoulders. You never did. I don't need you thinking about that either. I don't want you thinking about any of that. I don't want you thinking that any of this was your fault because it isn't and it will never be your fault." He was standing up now with his eyes closed and his head down. You were still on the couch looking up at him.
"If you want me to say I forgive you. Then I do. Even though none of this is your fault. I forgive you."
"(Y/N)."
"Jay."
"I need to sleep. Like really sleep. I'm tired. I'm so happy that you are okay but I need sleep. Lots of sleep."
"Fine. I'll clean up. You go sleep. We need to keep talking about this at some point anyway." Jensen nods his head and opens his eyes to look down at you. He breathes out heavily and turns to walk to his room. You stand up and grab the plates with each of your half-eaten slices of pizza and set them on top of the pizza box and make your way to the kitchen. You put the pizza in the trash and the plates in the sink and turn on the water. You turn around and lean against the counter with your head down.
"(Y/N)." You didn't hear him come in the kitchen. Before he even said your name you didn't hear anything. You had completely forgotten that you turned the water on to the sink or the fact that you were even in the kitchen. You didn't realize that you were shaking a little bit.
"Uhm, yeah. What? Aren't you supposed to be sleeping? Or trying to?"
"Yeah. Until Jared texted me a reminder about the party. Do you still want to go or do you want me to? Are you even sure this is a good idea?"
"Jensen I'll be fine. If you don't want to go then you should tell him. Just tell him I'll be ready soon. I have to get ready."
"Yeah yeah. I'm gonna come just in case though. I don't want anything to happen. I'm just gonna be in the corner."
"Jared won't allow that to happen."
"Well, he's gonna have to deal with it." You push off the counter and walk to your room. You turn around and close the door before walking to your closet and opening it. You look through all the clothes you had in front of you. Finally, you find the right dress and pull it out of the closet before slipping it on and throwing on some light makeup.
The dress was casual yet somewhat fancy and it was about as far as you were going to go with this whole dress up thing. With that, you walked out to see Jensen buttoning up his flannel and turning around to look at you.
"Ready?"
"I thought you were tired, Jay. If you want to stay and sleep then stay and sleep. I'll call an uber or something."
"We don't trust uber." You laugh and shake your head.
"Fine then let's go."
AT JAREDS HOUSE
You walk in after Jensen and closed the door. You run into his back when you turn around.
"Jay, what the hell?" You step around him to see something you never thought you would after everything that has happened.
Gen. She was standing in front of you wine in hand.
With a big smile plastered on her face.