I fall into a place of sleepless nights and sad days. This is the first time I've had my heart broken. I've never felt what I feel for Cristina, for anyone else.
It's been two weeks since that night. I go to work, do my job, and get out of there as quickly as I can.
Cristina tries to talk to me, but I just act like none of it matters. I know she is sad, too. I feel her pain, but it is time for Cristina to take control of her own life. If she never wants to do that, then I would never have her solely for myself. I don't want that. I want her all the time. I want her just for myself. I know she already told me that she and her husband are never really intimate, but still, she is legally his. I want her everything. I don't want to have to be sneaking forever. I want to be able to take her to my parents. I want to be able to say that she is my girl, without hoping someone knows she is married.
I just can't do it anymore. Today, I will hand in my resignation. I have an interview scheduled for next Friday. It will be the perfect time. I have to give two weeks' notice, and the interview will happen at the right time. I am also moving. I already moved some stuff. My move will be final in the next two weeks when I stop working at the Maritime Headquarters.
The house is a beautiful two-bedroom home. It puts me about fifteen minutes from my parents now. It is a great spot. Very peaceful and safe. I don't need to move, but I want to. It is like a sign of a new start for me.
I walk into Cristina's office, and she sends a weak smile my way. I smile back at her. I hand her my resignation without saying anything to her. When she opens the envelope, tears start streaming down her face. I can't watch this, so I turn, about to walk away. I hear her voice.
"Emma, please don't do this to me."
I turn back, reach for her notepad on her desk, and write my new address and phone number on there. I give it to her in her hand.
"I will wait for you. When you have everything in order, come see me," I say.
I kiss her forehead and walk out the door.
My two weeks there feel like it is taking forever. Nathan and Lily are so sad about my move. They ask about it, but I remain tight-lipped. I don't care to share my heartache with anyone. On the final day in the office, they throw me a farewell party. Cristina didn't attend. I really didn't expect her to.