Tom was waiting for me as promised at lunchtime. I said my goodbyes to Mandy and Beth before taking a deep breath and strolling into the crook of Tom’s arm. Be cool, be normal and think girlfriend.
“How about we take my new bike for a spin before going to my place?” I squinted at him. I knew he’d been learning, he’d turned seventeen in January but I hadn’t realised he’d passed already. I was awash with the fear of God.
“No way, seriously?” He led me into the alley at the side of the school, the alley Devon had dragged me into. I shivered.
The beast was fiery red. The sharp peeks and smooth curves defined its mechanical magnificence. How he’d managed to muster himself such a majestic beast, I didn't want to know. The corner of Tom's lip curled as I stroked the sweeping lines of the bike.
“So what do you think?” Tom enquired, perching himself casually on the saddle. He fondled the handle bars seductively.
“It’s incredible. How did you ever bribe your mum and dad out of this one?” His expression was menacing, dangerous.
“I have my ways.” He stood and pulled me swiftly to his torso. “Would you like to go for a spin?”
“If you think for one second I’m getting on that thing you-” Tom pressed his lips to mine. I froze. He chuckled.
“Don't you trust me?” he whispered against my lips. I swallowed. He wound his hands with mine. He was so careful with me. How could I doubt him?
“I do.” I glimpsed at him through my lashes. He let go of one of my hands and reached behind him. I squinted at him. What was he up to?
“One more thing. I was almost sure you’d look cute in Callie’s helmet so I brought that too. Can’t let you ride without a helmet now can we?” He offered me the jet black helmet. Had he been planning to invite me over regardless of me pouncing on him or had Mandy told him to anticipate it?
“Cute? This is your definition of cute?” I scoffed. Accepting it from him I pulled it over my head. Satisfied, Tom swung himself onto his bike, bringing me gently with him. Tom pulled my hands boldly around his waist.
“You have to hold tight, health and safety.” I tightened my grip and slid further into the seat. Tom put on his helmet and then revved the engine. Teasing my anticipation, Tom kicked off gently and I awaited the thrill of speed.
Once we were out of the alley we were flying. I turned to look at the surprised faces of Mandy and Beth as we raced past them and I could feel the vibrations of Tom’s chuckle through his jacket.
I spotted Kieran. He was smiling, if only half heartedly. I didn’t dare remove my grasp from Tom’s waist to wave even though I wanted to, deeply. I nestled into Tom’s back and contented myself.
Leave Indigo Boy behind Evans.
The world zoomed past in a blur of colour and noise. I’d only ever seen the world from cars and buses, on a motorbike was better. Adrenaline polluted my veins and fed my soul. The feeling of freedom was immense. I could stretch out my arms and fall into the unknown.
Tom lived in an apartment near Leith. It was newly built, large and spacious, too grand for anyone from my parts. His parents Carol and Lucas were rich, filthy rich and Tom was a child of luxury.
We were almost there and I was reeling from the adrenaline - it was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. It was laughable how something so ordinary marvelled me but I couldn't help but succumb to the splendour of it.
The bike came to a stop and Tom gently slid from my arms. I unclipped my helmet and slipped it off. I felt my hair settle in a mess around my face. I blushed.
“You OK?” Tom said before shaking his mange of beautiful rusty hair. I nodded before dismounting from the bike and stumbling into his arms.
“Opps, sorry,” I gasped. He held me securely, unwavering and composed. The warmth and happiness radiating from his face washed away any embarrassment I felt.
“It’s OK I’ve got you,” he whispered softly.
“Thanks.” I blurted out senselessly as he bent his head to caress my lips. I started as I told myself this was OK. I was the girlfriend and my boyfriend was kissing me.
When we pulled apart Tom wheeled his beast into the apartment’s garage. Callie’s bike was already parked alongside the family car. Tom took the helmet in my hand and placed it on the saddle of the second bike.
“Come on then let’s go up. I think Mum’s ordered our pizza. She knows we order the same thing every time.” Tom’s hand was held out for me to take. I interlaced my fingers with his and was led to the lift that went straight to his penthouse. I had an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach. This was all so familiar and yet so new.
I’d been around to Tom’s many times and knew his parents like my own but I still felt uneasy. What would Carol and Lucas think? Did they want an ex suicidal dating their son?
Tom squeezed my hand as the lift soared upwards. A sense of calm rushed through me as he gave me comfort but my brain didn’t stop inventing scenarios that left me alone, outside in the rain.
The lift doors opened and we stepped out into the black and white lounge. Carol was an interior designer. She’d designed everything from the flooring to the pictures on the wall. She was quite excellent.
Callie was lounging on the black plush sofa, aimlessly flicking through TV channels as if only to exercise her thumb. Her head was bopping, her earphones jammed into her ears.
Callie was on a gap year before going to university to do a course in directing and drama. When Tom and his family had decided to move to Scotland from Ireland, Callie’s grandmother was insistent Callie carry on at the boarding school she’d once attended. As such her accent oozed of Irish charm.
When she turned to see who entered a smug grin swept across her face. She unplugged her ears and chucked her iPod across the sofa. Music continued to resonate into the leather.
“Well look at you two. Tom you sly dog! I have to say I was giving up hope but you turned it around.” She sauntered over and gave Tom a playful punch on the shoulder. “So how’d you bribe her? Was it money, clothes perhaps?”
“Actually, Chris was the one who did all the convincing.” He put his arms around my neck and hugged me to him. His head rested on the top of mine.
“Well then I guess I owe you an apology,” Callie supposed, raising a speculative brow. I heard the clack of heels from behind the glass partitions. Carol had her phone to her ear, negotiating with her correspondent.
“No Mr Cunningham I can’t come for a viewing of your rooms tomorrow. I already have a prior appointment. I could maybe schedule you in for Tuesday afternoon but it will be tight. Four thirty? Yes that’ll be fine.” She pulled a black diary from her blazer pocket and opened it. “Great. See you on Tuesday then.” She hung up and chucked the phone down on a nearby table before removing her blazer.
“That’s the fourth time today that man’s called me and if he calls once more I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.” She flashed a quick glance in my direction and then did a double take.
“Well, well, well what have we here?” I flushed pink and bit my lip while Carol approached. She had a disapproving look on her face but reached out her hands and placed them on my cheeks. “Thank you. You don’t know how grateful I am.” She kissed my forehead. I enjoyed her praise.
Her phone then rang and she stepped back and picked up the complex device.
“Mr Cunningham.” She groaned clomping back through the partitions, no more said other than, “Pizza’s on the counter.” Tom and I followed Carol through the partitions to claim our pizza and then assended the spiral staircase to Tom’s room. Tom was so calm, so why wasn't I?
Tom’s room was black and red, much to Carol’s objection. The large armchair, easily sat in by two, occupied the space in front of his television. His double bed dominated the room with its black frame and rouge bed spread. The sight of it made me queasy.
Tom carried the pizza box over to the armchair and placed it on the arm.
“So what do we feel like today? A comedy, horror - ah what am I thinking, you hate horror - so that leaves sci fi, action or rom-com?”
“I’m thinking rom-com,” I said pulling a DVD from his extensive collection. I handed it to him and waited. He slotted it into the disc tray then pulled me to the armchair.
“Lunch is served mademoiselle,” he announced. I took a slice and nibbled on the corner too nervous to simply stuff it in my face.
The movie started with a climax of music. I was watching the screen but not following the storyline. My thoughts were of my proximity to Tom. I could feel him watching me, those funny shades of brown eyes. He played with my hair, twisting it around his fingers. I played with his hand, draped over my shoulder and fanned out his fingers. I traced the lines on his palm. His hands were so scarred , probably from rebuilding motorcycles with Callie and Lucas. Still, every one was a reminder of Tom's humanity.
When the credits began to role, Tom turned off the TV and held me contently. I would have stayed there for the remainder of time, if I was granted it. But Tom slipped from the seat and got to his feet pulling me with him. He put his arms around my waist and questioned me with a frown.
“Am I allowed to ask what made you change your mind?” I blinked. Though a fair question I wasn't quite sure how to answer it.
“I realised I was allowed happiness and I had made you wait for yours for a very long time." I averted my eyes to his chest, embarrassed by my confession. “What made you wait for me?"
“I would never have given up. I’d always had this hope, this hope that you would give us a try, even if after a couple of days you’d say you’d had enough. Those few days would have seemed like they could be enough for me.” He beckoned my gaze. “The trouble is I don’t think they will be after this.”
“I uh-”
“Shh, don’t say a word,” he whispered. Tom cupped my face and coaxed my lips to his.
There was something different about this kiss. It was as if all the pain he’d felt and the confusion was creating something wonderfully bittersweet. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself eagerly to him. His hands buckled around my waist. My fingers knotted in his hair. I moaned with pleasure. The feelings pulsing through me were new and exciting. Tom enjoyed my encouragement. His kiss was full of light and fire. Tom's hands crept under my shirt, warming my frostbitten bruises. I licked my lips, enjoying the delicious taste.
“I’m not interrupting am I?” We froze.
Please, God no.
Tom and I remained in each other’s arms but our kissed was extinguished. Carol was waiting with a plate of steaming brownies and an amused look on her face. I wished a hole would appear in the ground and swallow me whole.
“Mum! What have I told you about knocking?” Tom groaned leaning his head on top of mine.
“Oh I did knock,” Carol argued, smiling at me. I could feel myself going scarlet.
“Oh well erm...I- umm. We were a little busy,” Tom said, blushing just as much as I was.
“Oh yes, I don’t doubt that." She giggled. "Anyway, I came up to give you these and ask if Chris would like to stay for dinner.”
“If that’s OK with you and my mum then I’d love to,” I replied, though I was too embarrassed to consider dinner.
“I’ll give your mother a call, Vanessa is such a gem." Were we talking about the same Vanessa? "See you kids later,” Carol said, putting down the plate of brownies and shutting the door behind hert. I burried my head in Tom’s chest.
“I bet your mother thinks I'm a right slut,” I mumbled.
“I think she’s rather relieved actually." he murmured.
“Relieved? In what way is she relieved?” I remained hidden in Tom's shirt.
"Because she knew how much this meant to me," Tom confessed. I sighed, wrapping my arms around him and letting him hold me, all of me.
“So what are you doing a week tomorrow?” Tom enquired, breaking the comfortable silence that had elapsed between us.
“Nothing I don’t think, probably studying for exams,” I supposed. Tom unclasped his hands and from his back pocket he withdrew a red envelope. He presented it to me, mischief in his face.
“I know it’s not your birthday until next week but I need you to keep that particular Saturday free.” I took the red envelope from his hand and unsealed it. Tom's excitement was suspicious.
“You didn’t have to get me anything you know,” I insisted. He shrugged but pushed me to hurry up and open it.
Sure enough, inside the envelope was a birthday card of a cartoon girl holding a simple red balloon. I grinned and opened it up. Inside were two tickets to the Scotland v. All Blacks rugby match at Murrayfield. I almost choked.
“How did you get these tickets? They were sold out months ago!”
“I know someone who knows someone.” How could he be so cool about it? These were expensive tickets.
“Well obviously I’m taking you with me but I don’t know how to thank you,” I said, still not believing my eyes.
“Trust me you’ve given me a bigger thank you than I could have imagined today.” My eyes flicked from the tickets to him.
“Surely I can’t mean that much to you, to anyone.” It baffled me that I, someone so damaged and broken was of value to someone like Tom.
“You don’t know the half of it," Tom whispered as he kissed me.
And yet, though I felt welcome in Tom's embrace I couldn't help wonder after another.
Though I had told Indigo we could be friends, why was it I desired his happiness, his touch? I wasn't yet to know the answer but I was loathed to find out.
From now I held onto Tom even more tightly and tried to kid myself that I could do this.
I can't decide what was worse, Tom's Mum walking in on them making out or the fact Chris can't get Indigo Boy out of her head. I would feel sorry for her if not for the fact I wrote it that way. Is that cruel? Anyway, you know the drill, comment, converse and vote and you will be sure to make my day.
Thank you!
Read. Imagine. Inspire.
Bekah x