*A/N*
Sorry it's taken a while putting this up! It took me a while to pick a quote that would be appropriate! Hope you enjoy it anyway...
:)
Chapter Two
When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams. Dr Seuss
Nathan
'Going out!' I called out as I shut the door behind me and headed for the stairs of the block of flats I lived in -the lift was broken. The door was shut before mum could say anything, but I knew she wouldn't have anyway. Sundays and Tuesday were her day off from M&S, so on those days she'd get out of bed at around eleven, cradling her hung-over head and drink coffee, then have a fag. By one o'clock though, she'd be having a can of Scrumpy again or downing a bottle of wine.
It was Sunday and so she had started her fatal routine. She was in the middle of her fourth cigarette.
As soon as I left the block of flats, I saw the guys messing about on a set of bike racks.
It was Sam and David. As usual though, it was Sam doing all the messing about. David just sat calmly, a few racks away, watching as Sam writhed unattractively on the metal objects.
Funnily enough, it was Sam who had the most stable relationship out of all of us. He'd been going out with his girlfriend, Holly, for almost a year and a half now. Tony the only other person who currently had a girlfriend -Summer- kept breaking up and making up with her every week. Ian had just broken up with his girlfriend, Charis, and was trying to get over her. We were all kind of glad that she was gone; she'd been a total bitch and was getting on all our nerves. David hadn't had a girlfriend for almost three years now, and apart from the occasional drunken kiss or dare, hadn't really kissed someone either. He'd always brushed it off, embarrassed, when we'd joked that he was really romantic and was waiting for the right person, but most of us thought that was the case.
'Nathan!' Sam shouted before letting out a little "oomph" after falling to the floor. He stood up almost immediately though, not an ounce of embarrassment in his expression at all, and rushed over to me giving me an over eager hug; it was his kind of thing.
'Guess what!' His eyes were wide as he brushed a ginger strand from his face. I glanced at David for a clue but he only carried on grinning as he walked toward us, not giving anything away.
'What?' I asked Sam reluctantly.
'Holly's parents are going out on Friday till Sunday night. I'll be able to go over again. And she's had a key made for me!'
I grinned, 'that's great, can we go now?'
And off we went, Sam nattering on and on about how great Holly was for the five hundredth time that week. They were such an unfortunately perfect couple. It's like when two people started going out and were really slushy and romantic... Except it didn't wear off after two weeks or so... It just kept going on. Which was great for them...
Truth was, the going over to her house thing would be much more exciting if Holly's parents didn't go off on business for a weekend every two months or so, and each time they went since Sam and Holly had started going out, Sam had gone. It was funny, because after all of that, they'd still only had sex twice, and that was after they'd gotten carried away. They were so weird, but as I said before, so perfect for each other.
Last time we'd asked them what they'd done and he said, 'watched Titanic, cried a bit, snogged a bit, ordered a pizza and then fell asleep on the floor.'
That was the kind of innocent stuff you did with girls when their parents were home so you looked trustworthy.
'Nate, I'm surprised you didn't pick someone up at the gig last night. I thought when you said you'd lost your wallet you were just making some excuse to talk to some girl...' Sam joked. 'I'm kind of disappointed. You at least got a number, right?'
I grinned secretively. 'Well... No, no numbers.'
David and Sam both inspected me carefully.
'But you met someone?' David enquired.
'I didn't exactly meet them, or I did but-'
'More than one? Nathan! You're too much!' Sam groaned, grabbing his heart with one hand and the bus stop we'd stopped at with the other. An old lady peered at us anxiously.
'Shut up,' I sighed. The guy was so embarrassing sometimes.
David laughed softly.
'Listen it was just one girl but two of her friends were drunk on the floor beside her. '
'Awesome, drunk babes! Take 'em, rape 'em, 'n' stake 'em.'
This time the old lady looked seriously nervous and strode away quickly, clutching her large, distasteful bag close to her.
'Shit! Shut up Sam! Besides, what are you trying to say? I like easy girls?'
'Well you did say you hate it when you're "having fun" with a girl and they want to get serious. What's more fun than a girl who won't remember you the next day? And two! At the same time!' Sam exhaled in ecstasy and rolled his eyes back.
'My days Sam, would you like me to tell Holly?'
'Oh please. You're single and I'm not, I need to live through you, do you hear me?'
I raised an eyebrow.
'I mean, last week, that night you had with Ana P. had me going for nights! You may not have explained in great detail, but dreams are wonderful for filling up such features...'
'Oh now that is disturbing Sam!' I moaned. 'Why don't you just have sex with Holly more often and leave me out of it?'
Sam smiled distractedly, 'because for me, with Holly, it isn't all about sex. When I'm with her, I forget all that kind of stuff. You know, I mean, when we do it, it's amazing-'
'You are joking...' I interrupted.
'But with her, I'm not constantly thinking about ripping her clothes off, you know? When we talk, it's deep, and when I'm just lying on the floor holding her hand, I'd like it to last forever... And when she falls asleep before me, I can't sleep because watching her makes me smile, I don't want to close my eyes... There's no point dreaming sexy thoughts, when reality is so much better.'
'Okay, seriously, the sick is flowing out of my mouth now...' I wailed.
I glanced at David and raised my eyebrows alarmed; I swear he was looking a bit tearful. I punched him in the shoulder, 'want to feel that way too Dave?'
He shrugged away from me with a small smile, 'bus.'
'Eh, you'll get there someday Nate...'
'Hope not,' I said drily.
'Yeah,' Sam grinned as the bus paused in front of us, 'you're too good at it to ever want to give that up eh? If my dreams are anything to go by anyway. You never go too early, and you know all the right moves to make, and places to touch-'
'Please stop...' I begged.
Both of us turned to David as he elbowed us. He was absolutely red in the face and had raised an eyebrow as if to tell us that we were now on a public bus.
Other than those who had earphones in or people who decided that boys thinking about each other starring in personal pornographic movies were normal, everyone was staring at us, disturbed, barring the bus driver. He did look at us through the mirror quite frequently though, a dangerous expression on his face.
We noiselessly took some seats near a couple of "earphones" who had apparently not heard.
Five minutes into the journey I nudged Sam, 'so, um, what moves did I have?'
Sam grinned wickedly as David dug his elbow into my ribs.
'That'll be for me to know, Holly to find out, and you to keep guessing.'
I scowled.
When we got off the bus in town we saw Holly standing casually by the bus stop. A total coincidence she was there according to both her and Sam, but we couldn't' turn them away... They both had strangely heart-melting puppy dog eyes.
As usual, we hung around nowhere in particular, just drifting around shops buying drinks, being the scary teenage delinquents the older generation enjoy to label us as.
Eventually, after an hour, David and I sat on a bench whilst Sam and Holly voluntarily sat on the floor in front of us and on top of that they began to feed each other Kit Kat pieces. I kid you not.
'Guys,' Holly suddenly muttered aloud. David and I looked at her - Sam was already doing so. 'When is the earliest you would ever get married?'
'I don't know,' Sam began first, as usual. 'Straight after Uni I guess. Though anything can happen if you fall in love...'
Holly smiled hesitantly at him.
'Bit of a random question, don't you think Holly?' I grinned.
'Yeah, I guess, but,' she paused, 'if you think about it... We are legally allowed to get married at sixteen aren't we? With our parent's consent... This year we are all going to be seventeen. It just makes you think I guess. We've now started our first year of sixth form. We are adults-'
Before she could continue Sam grabbed her in an amorous hug and kissed her.
David and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes.
'Guys, public place?' David sighed with a small smile on his face. 'I guess we know who's getting married first?'
At that, they parted, Sam blushing and Holly chuckling softly.
'Leave us alone, we're young, we can have fun! Can't we Sam?'
'Sure Hollister,' he nodded weaving his fingers in between hers.
I grinned at the both of the them. 'Hollister was a pet name Sam had given Holly which fitted her perfectly seeing as it was the brand label you saw on most of her clothing and accessories. (At that moment in time she was wearing a Hollister top, and bag.)
'Ah, Nathan... Are we ever going to hear you say those words?' Holly asked.
'What words?' I wanted to know.
'I do?' David offered helpfully.
Holly laughed ,'those, yes, and "I love you".'
I nudged her knee playfully with my foot, 'well, if you listen carefully, you'd know I say it all the time! Look here, an example; "I love you, I do".'
She nudged me back with a smile on her face. 'Seriously Nate, You need to allow yourself to fall in love at some point. You can't keep playing around with girls the way you are.'
David and Sam turned to me.
'Why not?' I retorted jokily.
Holly looked at me sadly. I looked up ahead of her and watched people pass us by.
Truth was, I wanted to be in love like Sam and Holly were. I really did; but every time I met up with a girl and she wanted to see me again I just found that she was so dull and it was clear she only wanted me for one thing. It's funny how it was always the fucked up, slutty girls who wanted me... And the ones who weren't were too introverted to talk to me or be interesting when we actually went out together...
Eventually, when I was fifteen -not long after my parents got divorced- I stopped looking for better, stopped hoping for better, stopped dreaming about a stupid romantic encounter with a girl that didn't exist. I started giving those fucked up girls what they wanted, which was quite obviously sex, and started cheating on the nice girls, using them to fuel whatever need I had.
It's funny because I met holly before Sam did. It was Holly I was going out with the day I'd found out about my parent's plans to divorce. Someone had introduced a month before. In a week we were dating, in days I was cheating...
I was a sad case, and Holly was a girl that I could have actually loved. She was beautiful -yet she didn't know it-, mad and fun-loving, different and totally random every day, thoughtful, and she wanted me for me -cheesy as it sounded.
If I wasn't so pissed off with the world around me, if I didn't feel betrayed by my parents, by love, by relationships, I may not have had sex with her that night stealing her virginity as well as throwing mine at her. I may not have dumped her the next day. I may not have begun a path that landed me the title of a Heartbreaker.
'Nate, you've spaced out...' Sam waved a hand in my face. To this day he doesn't know about me and Holly. We were going to tell him, but when he started telling her that he loved her, she decided against it;she didn't want to hurt him.
And to this day, I don't understand why Holly doesn't hate me for what I did to her, but I'm glad because she's a great person, and she's good for Sam.
'Look, I will probably fall in love, okay? Just, maybe, when I'm in my forties or something hopefully...'
They all laughed, unaware that I was being completely serious.
I smirked and rolled my eyes, going along with it when my eyes caught sight of a familiar face.
It was Persephone and the two drunk girls from the day before; Amy Lloyd and Mel Ali, and they were heading towards us.
Persephone seemed to only notice me as I noticed her. After her eyebrows rose in shock, she allowed me a hesitant smile which grew slightly when I grinned widely at her. After a moment, she looked away though, apparently embarrassed, and both Aimee and Mel turned to see what she'd been smiling at.
As soon as they caught sight of me, they beamed and waved.
I nodded slowly at them, the smile still in place. Suddenly, I was sorted for the next weekend; I would just have to ask them on Monday...