"What are you laughing about?"
"Nothing." He didn't look entirely convinced, but I wasn't laughing anymore so I guess he was happy.
Still, it was funny, so don't blame me if I laughed again.
"Seriously!" He took off his sunglasses, and sat up. "What's so funny?"
Okay, just hold on. These last few days had been trying to say the least, and you need to know why. I am gay, you know this. I am attracted to men, obviously.
So going on a honeymoon to a tropical island, and seeing a super good looking man, who happened to be my husband, shirtless almost all the time was extremely annoying. Because, damn he looked good, and yet he didn't want me near him.
Thank the lord for photographers that "somehow" found out where we were, and who we have to pretend that we are in love for. If it weren't for them, I'd probably be allowed to touch that toned chest. Sorry! I'm side-tracking.
"Okay, well I was just remembering when the guy who was marrying us totally biffed up your name, and your mom got all mad at him. Like, she interrupted the whole thing! I didn't know she was allowed to do that!"
"She wasn't supposed to, but apparently she thought it was important."
"Well, yes it was! Imagine if he had said it wrong, and our marriage wasn't legal. For all you know, there's another Thomas out there with the exact name he said."
"I doubt there are any other Thomas' out there with as many middle names as me."
"Still, it's funny that he messed it up."
"Well, it's not easy to get right. You try saying it." I wasn't one to back out of a challenge, but I knew there was no way I could get it right. I'd only heard his full name once, and if I'm being honest, I wasn't really listening.
"I could always do that, but I think I'll let you." He grinned triumphantly.
"Gotta make sure I can say my own name."
"Of course. Now stop stalling and say your name."
"Wow, you seem to be adjusting to being a prince quite well. My full name is, Thomas Andrew William Charles St. John Arthur Maximilian Rex. And believe it or not, I was lisping that out when I was two years old."
"Damn! Why the hell do your parents do that?"
"I don't know. I guess it makes you sound more important or something." He laid back down in his deck chair, and closed his eyes.
"You do realize that your last name literally means king?" He sighed.
"Yes, I am well aware of that. Apparently, a couple generations ago, that sounded like a good last name for the king and his family. But don't laugh too hard, that's your last name now."
"That's true."
"And Alex Rex sounds kind of stupid."
"Rude!" I looked around for something to whack him with, and I spotted a pool noodle a few feet away. Now the trick was to go get it without him realizing that I wasn't sitting my him anymore.
"It's not rude, it's just the truth. Even if you say Alexander Rex, it just sounds funny. Just face it, your name isn't half as cool as mine."
For a second there, I was reconsidering whacking him, but I decided, why not. I'd gotten this far. I brought the noodle down hard across his stomach.
"Ow! What the hell?" He sat up quickly, pulling off his sunglasses, and glaring at me in anger.
"You asked for it. You insulted my name. Besides, it's just a noodle. It couldn't have hurt that badly."
"Oh yeah, wanna try it for yourself?" He grabbed the noodle, and that's when I kind of got scared. Maybe this wasn't the best idea.
"No, I'll just take your word for it." I backed up a foot or two. "It must have hurt really bad."
"It did." He tossed the noodle a few feet away, but continued to glare at me. "What induced you to do that?" He rubbed his now bright red stomach, and I tried really hard not to laugh. I'm sorry, but it was funny.
"Because it just seemed like the right thing to do."
"Asshole." He muttered, and returned to his previous spot on the deck chair, but he kept his eye on me.
"Yeah, I guess that was a little mean." I agreed, and sat on the edge of my chair. "But you-"
"How have I not noticed that you have a tattoo?" He interrupted, and I turned my head to look at him.
"I don't know. Guess you just haven't been staring at my back."
"Yeah, but you never told me."
"Well you never asked."
"Fair point. What does it say anyways?" He leaned forward to read the tattoo on the back of my shoulder.
"Here's to who you'll be when you figure it all out." He read, and tilted his head to the side, trying to figure it out.
"It's from a song. I'm sure you've never heard it."
"It's pretty deep. How did you decide to get it?"
"That's actually a funny story." I leaned back j my chair. "So my friend Jay, you met him at the wedding, was practicing to be a tattoo artist, and he needed someone to practice on. My other friend chickened out, so I figured I might as well.
He asked where I wanted it, and I had no idea, so I just told him to do it where he needed the most practice. I happened to have just listened to this song, so I told him the line and he did it. I think it turned out pretty good, considering that it was one of his first on someone besides himself."
"I think I did meet him. He's was the guy covered in tattoos, right?"
"Yep, that's Jay."
"Don't get mad, but he doesn't really look gay." He looked so nervous that I had to laugh.
"It's alright! Even I catch myself saying stereotypical things sometimes. Yeah, looks super tough, but he's one of the kindest guys I think you'll ever meet. The motorcycle makes him look tough too, that's why Cameron and I always made sure we took him anywhere we went after dark."
"I see. I still find it funny that I didn't notice that before. We've been here for almost a week."
"There's a lot you don't know about me." I teased.
"Yeah, but there's a lot I do know."
"Like what?"
"Like that you snore in your sleep."
"I do not-"
"Or that you don't brush your teeth at night."
"Well-"
"And that you do have pink sweats despite what I thought before."
"Well that one I agree with. Seems like you've been studying me, Thomas."
"No, I haven't!" He looked suddenly very uncomfortable. "It's just that I can't help but notice when you wake me up by snoring."
"Oh come on. I don't snore that loud!"
"Yes, yes you do. It's thunderous." I regarded him, trying to figure out if he was lying to me or not.
"It's that bad?" He nodded.
"Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get a full nights sleep again."
"If I snore so loudly, why has no one ever told me that before?"
"Probably because they were too afraid that they'd hurt your feelings." He shrugged.
"And your not?"
"Not really. I mean, you just whacked me with a noodle, so I'd be alright if I got some back."
"That's only fair I suppose."
"Yes it is." He sat up. "Hey, Do you know how to play tennis?"
"Of course! You just whack the ball with the ratchet right?"
"Umm, that's the basic idea, I guess. There's a court right over there. Wanna play?" I think I just discovered something that Thomas loved. He looked like an excitable puppy.
"Sure, lets do that."
"Okay, c'mon!" He grabbed my hand, and started walking towards the court.
"But what about our stuff?" He glanced back at him, but kept walking.
"Alex, this is a pretty upscale place. Not ones gonna take it."
I let him pull me along, rather enjoying having my hand in his. When we were almost there, he seemed to realize what he had done, and quickly dropped his hand. Ah well, at least it was progress.
To say that he beat my ass would be an understatement. And like I have said before, this man was majorly competitive.
After losing about a million times, I decided I had had enough, and headed back to our seat, Thomas followed a few minutes behind.
And guess what? When I got back to our seats, where all the rest of our clothes and stuff was, everything was gone.
It felt so good to be right that I didn't even mind losing my sunglasses.