To add insult to injury, the days following Harry's birthday party were unusually beautiful in regards to weather and extremely warm. Not that Renata was aware of it because she had yet to leave Adelmo's flat since the incident. Cooped up in her old room where she used to stay, she spent the majority of her day in bed, unless she was letting Enzo out to use the bathroom or if she was up to shower or something along those lines. Adelmo was having a difficult time getting to her to eat and practically forcing her to eat in front of him when he was home to make sure that she was eating.
She didn't talk much, she didn't smile at all, she appeared absolutely miserable and Adelmo could tell she had been crying quite a bit because her eyes always appeared red, puffy, and irritated. Enzo refused to really leave her company as well, following her from room to room and laying on top of her whenever she was still. He tried to encourage the "old" Renata to emerge by bringing her all of his toys, in hopes that she would play with him, but she would take to tossing one toy away from her and that was the end of it.
Sirius came by, but he normally didn't stay for long, as he was usually trying to convince Adelmo to let James come over and talk to Renata, but Adelmo continued to refuse, not believing that it was appropriate. Even if James didn't mean what he said, it didn't mean it didn't hurt Renata's feelings and it had caused quite a lot of pain for her. Enough that she was constantly putting herself down whenever Adelmo got her to speak with him. She was belittling herself, claiming that their mother was right and she really was nothing but a fool. She condemned herself for not being able to maintain a proper professional relationship and figured this was her punishment for allowing her feelings to get involved.
Remembering when she told herself not to act on her attractions towards her boss, Renata continued to scold herself in private. No matter what Adelmo or even said to try and cheer her up, she simply wasn't in the mood. And the worst part of it all was she wanted to go back.
She wanted to go back and be there for Harry when he woke up in the morning, spend time with him during the day, and be there in any way that he needed her. She had promised in her little birthday letter to him that she would always be there, but it seemed she was going back on her word already. Leaving Harry upset back at the flat, it was the last thing she wanted to do but Adelmo didn't think it was a good idea for her to go back.
Sirius swore to the moon and back that James was beyond sorry and Renata believed him because she knew that he was, but at the same time, she didn't know if James was sorry because he didn't mean it or because he didn't mean to voice what he really thought in such a harsh way. Either way, as much as she knew that James was sorry, she couldn't bring herself to face him just yet. And even if he did apologise to her, there was no way she could go back because that was probably only going to confuse Harry further.
It felt so complicated to Renata that she didn't know what to do and the loss feeling was leaving her with a headache whenever she thought about it.
"What am I supposed to do, Al?" she asked one afternoon as he managed to get her out of bed and in the kitchen to eat something. He presented her with something light, just a bit of toast, but she didn't bother with it as it grew cold.
"Renata, it's not a lot, just eat the-"
"No, not with the food!" she cried out with a shake of her head. "I'm talking about what am I supposed to do with my life if all I do is manage to make mistake after mistake? I can't even manage the simplest of jobs and the jobs that I really wanted to do or thought I did, I end up ruining everything."
"You will find something, Renata," Adelmo said in a promising tone, "you keep forgetting how young you are. It's fine to go through jobs right now, you'll find something you want to make a career out of."
"Yes and when I find that, I'll manage to do something to destroy it. It's like I'm cursed to never hold a job, whether I like it or not."
"Don't talk like that," he said, "you're not cursed. You just need to take some time, especially right now, to heal and relax."
"You said that when I first came over here," she said with a shake of her head, " you tell me that after every job I come home from saying I got dismissed from. I cannot sit around healing and relax for the rest of my life. I cannot sit around and depend on you. You have a life...I mean, you haven't invited Sirius to stay over since I've been here and I really don't want to get in between anything-"
"You're not getting in between that, Sirius hasn't been invited to stay over because he keeps taking James' side in the matter and quite frankly, I disagree with him. It has nothing to do with you."
"But it does have something to do with me. You two wouldn't be disagreeing on the matter if it wasn't for me being here. So really, it is me getting in the way and neither one of you should really be getting involved with it. It's not your matter, it's between James and me."
For a moment, Adelmo didn't speak, she could feel his frustration though and she couldn't blame him for feeling that way, especially with her. He was trying to keep his patience with her and the entire matter, but she wasn't exactly making things easy on him either as all she did was argue with him as of late.
"Normally, I would agree with you, Renata," he spoke in a calm and steady tone, " normally, I would keep my nose out of your business because you are an adult. However, I know how much James and Harry both meant to you. I could tell with how happy you looked, it was the happiest I could ever remember you being. And then, I saw your face at the party after James yelled at you. That wasn't you just being upset, that was pure devastation and that wasn't fair to you at all. "
"But-"
"I tried to warn you in the beginning that it was going to be a lot to take on, especially with James and the state he was in, but you committed and not only that, it seemed James had committed himself to help you. I was surprised by it if I'm being completely honest. I didn't expect him to be there for you in such ways, but he was. However, after all of that, after everything you two have been through for the sake of each other and Harry, for him to make that scene that day...I don't have words for it."
"But you could understand where he was coming from, can't you, Adelmo?" Renata whispered to him. "You can see where I overstep my boundaries-"
"Renata, this is the exact reason I don't want him around you right now! Look at you, you're taking full blame for a situation! You're blaming yourself for Harry calling you Mummy! It wasn't your fault, it wasn't Harry's fault. You two formed a mother and son bond, how is that anything to be ashamed about? If anything, James should have been happy, he should have been thrilled that Harry gets that second chance. You may not be Lily, but that doesn't make you any less of a mother."
Renata didn't say anything else on the matter as she dropped her chin to the table, not willing to argue with her brother any further on the matter. He made his points of course, but she didn't think that James was coming from a place of anger, he was coming from a place of hurt. And maybe in those moments, he realised that she just wasn't the one for him, that he wasn't ready to move on for Lily and that no one would be good enough to be Harry's mother besides Lily.
She couldn't bring herself to fault him for that.
The toast had long grown cold and she really hadn't wanted it in the first place as she pushed the plate away from her face and excused herself from the table to head back upstairs to her old room. The jingle of Enzo's collar trailed behind her as he made his way up the stairs at her heels, carrying one his toys so that he could play with her.
With no other choice, Adelmo had to leave his sister so he could head to work and he prayed that Sirius wasn't there at the front acting as Welcoming Wizard because he really didn't want to be bothered with any more of the drama between Renata and James. In a way, he knew that James was in a fragile state of mind and perhaps the birthday had stirred up some old feelings for the man, but it was still no excuse for what he had done to Renata or how he made her feel. Not after everything she had done for them.
And maybe he was carrying more anger than expected because it was his little sister or perhaps because he hated seeing Renata in a self-loathing state again. When she had failed her Auror training, he could remember for months that she was constantly saying horrible things about herself, things that weren't true. He practically had to work day and night to get her back to a point where she appeared happy again and accepted herself that something didn't go according to plan.
But now it seemed they were back at square one all over again and Adelmo hated it.
Of course, as he arrived at St Mungo's it was only his luck that Sirius was there and next to him was James. Harry was in their company as well, leaving Adelmo to bite his tongue and remain polite in their company.
"Al, just listen to what he has to say for a minute, will you? Just one minute, that's all we're asking for," Sirius pleaded with him, attempting the puppy-eyed look that he knew worked too well. It may not have worked in Enzo's favour, all the time, but added with Sirius' charm, Aldemo had no choice but to give in.
"You have a minute, Mr Potter," Adelmo told him, " no more."
"I understand," James said, " it's not going to take long really. I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry, I know that's all I've been saying since it happened, but really I'm sorry. I know I'm at fault for this situation and I'm going to take care of it. I thought I was able to handle it before but clearly I was just lying to myself and that caused way more damage. So I decided that I'm going to really get some help, I already spoke with a few people here about enrolling into some therapy to see if I can get myself out of these nightmares and night terrors. Instead of using sleeping draught to cover it all up."
Adelmo certainly wasn't expecting all of that and James had said it all so quickly in order to get it all out in a span of under a minute, knowing very well that when his minute was up that Adelmo would possibly walk away. Seeing as Adelmo hadn't walked away though, James decided to push his luck and continue talking.
"I didn't mean to hurt her," he said in a low voice, " you don't have to believe me, but it's the truth, I never wanted to hurt Renata. I lov...I...I love... I know I did hurt her, but I never wanted to. I don't know what came over me at Harry's party, but I know I have to take care of it. So that's what I'm going to do, for her, for myself, and for Harry."
"Well, that's good of you-"
"And if you'll let me, I want to tell her in person that I'm sorry and that'm going to go get help. I also want to tell her that Harry had every right to call her Mummy and I had no reason to try to correct him. I want her to know that I've appreciated everything she's done for Harry and she deserves the title as his Mummy and not only that, I appreciate everything she's done for me, when she didn't have to do anything to help. She could have brushed me off but she didn't and...I miss her so much and...."
His voice trailed off and he looked at Adelmo before looking over at Sirius, who gave him an encouraging nod of his head. After the discussion that he had with Renata before coming to work and hearing that she believed that James was right no matter what Adelmo told her, he knew that she needed to hear it straight from James' mouth. She needed to know that she wasn't in the wrong in the situation and with James owning up to his mistakes, Adelmo couldn't bring himself to use it against James either.
"Alright, look," he stated, bringing James to glance back up at him, " after my shift today, I will go home and talk to Renata about coming to speak with you. However, I need you to promise that you're going to go through with this therapy. I need you to promise that you're going to commit and work hard during those sessions because therapy means nothing if you don't put in the effort."
"I'm going to, I'm promise!"
"Promise!" Harry repeated after his father. "Promise!"
"I'll be helping him stay on track with it all," Sirius interjected, " I'll be watching over Harry while he attends the sessions so that there are no distractions."
"Fine, I'll talk to her tonight when I get home," Adelmo said, " and we'll see what happens from there. "
"Thank you, Adelmo," James told him, " thank you so much."
"Don't thank me," he said, " just do the right thing and make things right."
"I will! I promise, I will!"
Meanwhile, back at Adelmo's flat, Renata had been lying in her bed since she heard the front door downstairs open and close from the departure of her brother. But no matter how quiet everything was, no matter how still she remained, she couldn't bring herself to fall asleep. Instead, she remained in bed, staring at the wall, recounting every mistake she had ever made in her life and how she had done really nothing to correct them.
All she ever did was accept defeat and she couldn't understand why, when she failed her Auror training, she didn't put up a fight. When she was let go from jobs, she didn't argue, she just hung her head in shame and left. And now, she was reliving another moment where she walked out, her tail tucked in between her legs like a sad dog, and she was the one who was sorry. She was always the one who was sorry.
She was just about to make grab for the nearest pillow on her bed to cover up her face, only to be distracted by a noise downstairs. It sounded like the front door opening, but she didn't hear it close.
"Enzo?"
The sudden sound of Enzo's collar alerted her as he had been happily resting at her feet, leaving him innocent as to whatever caused the noise downstairs. Immediately, Renata sat up and placed her feet to the floor.
"Adelmo? Are you home early? Did something happen to your shift?"
Glancing at the clock in her room, she didn't expect Adelmo to be home for another three hours. But she continued to hear movement from downstairs, leaving her curious as to what was taking place. Finally, she stood up and made her way out of her bedroom and to the top of the stairs, where she could see that the front door to the flat was wide open, showing that the night was falling outside. Renata's eyebrows furrowed together in puzzlement, only to catch the tail end of a cloak heading in the direction of the kitchen area out of the corner of her eye. Enzo had faithfully remained at her side, growling at what he had seen before darting down the stairs to defend.
"Enzo! No, wait!" she called after the crup in a harsh whisper but, of course, he didn't listen, leaving Renata with no choice but to run back to her room to retrieve her wand and then head down the stairs. She didn't need Enzo acting as a hero towards an intruder because if they possessed any sort of magic, he didn't stand a chance. Just as she reached the bottom step, she heard Enzo let out a cry, leaving her to lift her wand, ready to attack.
"Who's there?" she demanded to know before she rounded the corner.
But as soon as she entered the entrance to the kitchen, she came to a full halt, her wand dropping to the floor and rolling slightly towards where Enzo's body remained.