Summer 1995
A month has passed and all though Michael and I officially tied the knot, we weren't sleeping in the same bed. We barely saw each other and when we did, I would pretend I had something to do in order to avoid talking to him. It's nothing he did wrong, it's just I wasn't ready to discuss me venturing out on my own. Something I knew he greatly despised.
I walked into the living room expecting to have the house alone for the day, but Michael was stretched out asleep on the sofa. I immediately turned around and headed for the kitchen until he called out my name.
"Kennedy," He called out, his voice groggy.
"I hope I didn't wake you." I said, turning back around to face him.
"No not at all," He replied. "Come, sit."
Hesitantly, I proceeded to walk over to the couch and plopped down next to him. I looked down and fiddled with my fingers in order to avoid eye contact.
"I'm just gonna get straight to it," he began turning to face me. He grabbed my hands and began talking. "I support you. If this is what you want to do, then I'm here for you. Anything you want to know, I'll tell you. I'm not happy about it but you're good at your job and I can't stop you from doing what you want. All I can do is make sure you don't get hurt."
I looked up at him and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. For the first time in a while I felt like there was no hidden agenda. He was really all for me and I was relieved because I really wanted to talk to him. Not just about business but about everything. I missed him.
"You're serious?" I asked, still a little skeptical.
"As a heartbeat!" He smiled, pulling me closer to him. I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat as he ran his fingers through my hair. We stayed like this for a while until he broke the silence.
"Now that I've come to terms with this, can you puhleeeeaaaasssseeee come back to bed with me?!!!! He whined.
"Of course, I will!" I laughed, kissing his neck. "I missed you."
"I missed you, babygirl." He kissed the top of my head before relaxing his chin on it.
"So I know you have questions," He stated. "Ask them."
"Well," I thought for a moment. "How come you didn't tell me I we just a fill in for Janet until she was able to come back? Why didn't you just ask me to begin with? I would've said yes. I mean the worst thing I could've said was 'no'. Why didn't you mention your entire family was part of the mob scene? And was that really a threat you gave me last we talked? 'Cause it sure as hell felt like it. And-"
"Okay, okay!!!" He cut me off, laughing. "Can you give me time to answer them please!"
"Go on."
"Okay well," He started to explain. "You weren't necessarily a "fill in". You wanted the job so I gave it to you. Janet returning to the scene wouldn't have changed your position. At all. I didn't want to ask you because at the time, I didn't know how you felt about Me being involved in this." He paused for a moment looking off to the patio. I followed his gaze and saw Joseph and Katherine walking hand in hand along the poolside.
"They're a beautiful couple and I absolutely adore them." I breathed, admiring them. I heard Michael let out a sigh.
"I didn't tell you about them because I felt like it didn't matter. Plus they don't come out as much unless I really need them too." He answered, still looking at his parents. "It wasn't meant to be a threat. I just wanted to scare you enough to make you change your mind. I just- I lost my baby girl and I don't want to lose you next. I vowed to keep you safe and I let you down once. I won't let you down again."
I turned around a climbed on his lap, facing him. I held his face in both my hands and gently kissed his lips. "You make me feel safe. I know you'll protect me at all cost."
"Promise me you'll listen to me. I know you want to do this on your own, and I have faith that you can. I just need for you to listen to me when I give you advice." He insisted, locking eyes with me. His stare was intense but I could also see the fear in his eyes.
"I promise." I whispered. He pulled me in for a tight hug and I nestled my head under his chin. I'm glad he was on board with all this. Nothing excites me more than having him stand by me no matter what.
I woke up in bed, Michael laying next to me fast asleep. Looking over at the time, I realized it was half past Four.
"Michael," I whispered. "Wake up."
No response.
"Michael!!" I whispered again.
Nothing.
"Miiiiichhaaaeeeeellll!!!" I sung in his ear.
"Hmmmmmm??" He groaned rolling over to face me "whaat??"
"Its the middle of the day." I complained. "Get up. Let's do something."
"I'm so tired!!" He groaned.
"Michael, come on!" I whined. "Get up!!"
He sat up instantly, grabbed me up and flipped me over so that he was right on top of me. "Or we can stay here!" He exclaimed, planting kisses all over my face.
"Noo!!" I giggled. "I want to go out."
"Alright fine," He pouted. "I have somewhere for us to go."
I pecked his lips and crawled from underneath him to get dressed in a new outfit. I put on a powdered yellow, spaghetti strapped sundress with a pair of white wedges Michael had bought me a while back. I brushed my hair back into a slick ponytail and made my way into the hallway where Michael was leaning against the wall talking to someone. I couldn't see who it was because he had his back to me and they were whispering. I inched close enough to listen in.
"Why are you leaving?" A familiar female voice whispered. It was Raé.
"Because I need too. She needs to start somewhere fresh." Michael responded in a hushed tone.
"What about me?!" She questioned.
"What about you??" Michael snapped back. "She's been through hell and back and she's still going through it! Im moving her out of here."
I wasn't going through anything though. What was he talking about?
"No one's after her!!" Raé harshly whispered. "You're just paranoid!!"
"Why do you care what I do with my wife?!" Michael questioned.
"BECASUE I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!! IT SHOULD BE ME NOT HER!!" She nearly shouted.
I moved back a bit and slid back into the bedroom only peeking though the crack so not to be seen. He took her by the throat and shoved her against the wall.
"Im going to say this one time and one time only," He said, anger evident in his tone. "I'm in love with Kennedy and there's nothing you can do or say to change that. I want no parts of you so stay the hell out of my way."
He released his grip on her and walked back towards the room. I rushed over to the mirror and pretended to touch up my makeup.
"You ready?" He smiled at me as he walked in.
"Yup!" I exclaimed, grabbing his hand and nearly running out the house. We hopped in the car and sped off to our destination.
As Nigel drove us to wherever Michael had planned, the ride was silent. As much as I wanted to address Michael about the conversation he and Raé just had, I knew i couldn't. It's been a while since Michael and I spent quality time together without arguing and I wanted to keep it that way. At least for now that is.
After about 20mins we arrived to our destination. I peered out the window and noticed we were at a park. We climbed out the car and Michael grabbed my hand leading the way towards the gate entrance.
"Michael," I inquired. "Why are we at a park?"
He looked back at me and flashed a smile, ignoring my question. We neared the center and Michael whispered, "Surprise!"
There was a picnic blanket spread out with a basket in the middle containing a bouquet of red roses with a single white rose in the middle. Our plates were already put out with two glasses of white wine.
"Michael..." I breathed. "Its beautiful!!"
"Good!!" He exclaimed. "Because I put this together in a very short amount of time! Now let's go sit, I'm hungry!"
We took a seat in the grass and began eating. We enjoyed each other's company as we talked about how we first met up to when he decided to propose to me. He told me stories about his family and what it was like growing up with all those siblings. We even talked about trying to build a big family of our own.
We had finished our food and decided to get on the swings. I was deep in thought when Michael snapped me out of it.
"What's on your mind?" He asked, his soft voice breaking me out of my trance. I looked down at the ground and scuffed my shoes against the dirt.
"Stop doing that!" He demanded, putting his hand on my thigh to stop me. "I just bought you those!!"
I let out a small laugh before getting serious again. "It's nothing." I answered, referring back to his last question.
"It doesn't seem like nothing," he stated. "You can tell me anything, ya know."
There was a long pause and then I proceeded to ask, "What's going on with you and Raé?" I waited for his answer, somewhat afraid of what he might say.
"You heard us talking?" He asked, looking to the ground.
"Yes," I replied. "I didn't hear everything but I heard enough." I looked back to the ground as my swing came to a slow stop and I let out a deep breath. "I love you, Michael but I don't want to go back through this again. And I won't."
"I'm not cheating on you with her," He confirmed. "She's been coming around a lot while we weren't speaking. She tried to kiss me on several occasions but I've rejected her everytime. I want nothing more than a friendship with her. You're the one I want to be with. No one else."
"Excuse me sir, but can I please have your name?" Raé asked.
"The name's MJ, what's it to you?" He asked, shaking her hand.
"You're an AMAZING dancer and I was just wondering if you would want to go out with me tonight?" She suggested, placing her hand on his chest. She was unbelievable but I give her her props. There's no way I would've been able to ask out a man like this. The girl had enough confidence for the both of us.
"I'm sorry but we have plans tonight," He coolly answered grabbing my hand. This shook me. I was not expecting him to say that and neither was Raé because the stare she gave me....man, if looks could kill, I would be dead as a doornail. She looked us up and down before turning up her nose and storming off.
"She's not used to getting turned down, is she?" He asked, still staring in her direction.
"Nope!!" I said, snatching my hand back and leaving the diner.
I was so focused on Marissa that I completely forgot Raé had a small, or huge, crush on Michael. I thought she had moved in from it but clearly I was wrong.
"Don't go doing anything..... risky." He slightly chuckled.
"Where are we moving to and why are we moving?" I asked, looking up at him.
"I just wanted to take you to L.A." He shrugged. "I feel like we need a fresh start in a new environment."
"There's more to it and we both know it." I stated, standing up from the swing. I was getting slightly frustrated because I knew he wasn't being completely honest. He was either running from something or he was trying to protect me from something.
"What do you want me to say?" He let out a deep sigh, rubbing his temples. "I just want something new for us. Is that so bad??"
"But WHY?!" I pressed. "Why now??? Who are we running from, Michael."
Another silence fell over us. The sun was setting and we had the perfect view. As nice as it would be to enjoy this, I couldn't. I needed answers from Michael, answers that he obviously didn't want to give me.
"Its whatever." I said in a low tone. "Forget I asked. We can go anywhere you want. But for now, I'm ready to go home.."
Before he could even protest, I turned and made my way back to the car. Nigel opened the door for me and I climbed in shutting it behind me. I was staring out the window watching the cars pass by when I fell asleep against the door.
I woke up what seemed to be hours later, in bed. When I glared at the clock it was only fifteen minutes past nine. I sat up and saw a figure standing on the patio. It couldn't have been anyone else but Michael and after our conversation at the park, I decided we needed to have at least one more before we let the situation die completely.
"Michael?" I whispered, walking up behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his back.
"I'm sorry." He whispered back. It sounded like he had been crying or something. I walked to the front of him and gently brushed my fingertips across his cheek. It was wet.
"What's wrong?" I gasped. Holding his face in both my hands. "Why are you crying?"
"I just want you to be safe and I feel like I'm failing you." He replied, avoiding eye contact with me.
"You're not failing me, Michael," I reassured him. "I'm fine. We're fine."
"Someone's after you." He stated the obvious. "Someone is going to try and kill you."
"Listen to me," I said, gripping his face so that he's looking at me. "Nothing's going to happen to me or you. Understand?"
"I've never feared anyone as much as i do now." He admitted. "Its not that I can't handle these situations, it's just I don't want to lose you in the process. This is what I was trying to avoid to begin with. I thought I was giving you a chance but instead I was only setting you up to get hurt! I'm the reason we lost the baby! I'm the reason Marissa had to die. I'm the reason you tried to kill yourself. ME! It was all ME!"
He fell to his knees and completely broke down. I've never seen this side of Michael and it hurt me immensely. He was always holding it together, ordering people around, getting things done. Now he seemed so vulnerable, so fragile. Like he was on the verge of quitting. He was genuinely afraid and if he was afraid, I knew something bad was about to happen. I kneeled down in front of him and ran my fingers through his hair.
"None of this is your fault. I chose to do this and I wouldn't change it for anything. As long as I'm with you, I know everything will be okay. We're in this together." I reassured him, pulling him to me. "So first thing in the morning we better start packing if we're really gonna move."
He looked up at me, his eyes still glistening. "We don't have to go if you don't want too."
"I want too, so let's go." I gently kissed his lips as he pulled me closer into an embrace.
We stayed like this all night and it was nice. I would have never thought this would be one of our last moments together.