I was in a state of trance.
We left my house in Harry's car under the pouring rain.
I was so dumbfounded I didn't ask another question. I had no idea who the victim was and how it all had happened. I only remembered nodding at Harry when he had asked me again if I could help him.
I also remember the coldness. It was a warm night, for we were getting close to summer, and Harry hadn't turned on the AC of his car, and yet, I was chilled to the bone with my arms wrapped around myself. I remember my teeth were chattering so much I had to clench them to stop.
I snapped out of trance when I realized we had been on the road for a while. In fact, I could only see darkness around me, which meant we must've been riding the road that crossed the forest outside of town.
"Where are we going?"
Harry squinted his eyes, trying to see through the darkness whatever he was looking for.
"There's a church around here."
"St. Claire's?" I figure out quickly.
"Yeah! Do you know it?"
"That's where Billy and I did our first communions." I remembered fondly, it was one of the few memories I held dearly of when my parents were alive. "But what were you doing there?"
"Well, it's not exactly a church anymore."
I remembered the fire that had erupted a few years ago, burning the whole place down from the inside, only leaving decrepit ruins. No one had bothered to restore it, instead, they built a new church in town.
Harry shrugged. "I've been using it as a... social spot for a while."
"Social spot?"
"You know" he sighed "dates, gatherings... sometimes we hang around to do things that might get us in trouble."
I furrowed my eyebrows. I knew Harry used to ingest other substances besides alcohol, and I knew he could get pretty playful with girls in public spaces, things that could get him in trouble if he ever crossed with the police, but I was pretty sure every teen in our town used to do that kind of stuff at parties. I'd never heard about a "secret place" to do it, but then again, I wasn't exactly a party animal to know every social trend going around town.
After a while rambling around trying to look for the church under the pouring rain we arrived to the abandoned building.
At first, when we went inside the church, it was impossibly dark, being our only source of light the lantern I had packed from home and our cellphone's flashlight. Slowly, my eyes started adjusting to the darkness, and I could take in everything that surrounded me and the feeling of peacefulness started filled me. There was something about churches that always calmed me, I felt protected, and even then, inside that church where you could see destruction had hit it a few years ago, the feeling of comfort was still there.
Harry stopped abruptly at the end of one of the stair cases that led to a room on the back. I had been so lost in taking the beauty of the building I had forgotten why we had come here at all, but, as soon as I saw the body at the bottom of the stairs, I was brought back to reality.
I stepped closer next to Harry. It took me a few seconds to take it all in, I didn't know who I was expecting to find but it definitely surprised me when I recognized who I was seeing.
I gasped "Is that - Jessica Lancey?"
Harry sighed sadly "Yes."
"What happened Harry?"
"We were fighting, saying terrible things about each other." He stopped, lifting his gaze up from her body towards the top of the stairs "I pushed her. It wasn't even that hard but she tripped and fell down the stairs."
I glanced back from Harry to Jessica. Her body was sprawled on the ground almost in a pristine manner. Without context, you could've easily thought this was the scene for a mystical music video. The blood blended with her dark hair, flowing around her, contrasting with the paleness of her skin. Her white summer dress was neither ripped nor stained.
It reminded me of that famous picture of the girl who took her own life by jumping from the Empire State.
It was almost romantic, how could she look so beautiful even when she had fallen from so many stairs?
I suddenly became ashamed of my thoughts. This was a dead girl after all.
"Are you sure she is dead?"
Harry leaned over and slowly placed his hand against his neck.
"She has no pulse." He affirmed standing up "And she's cold."
Despite the darkness, I could see his eyes filled with tears. They hadn't been close in a while, so I wondered where all of this had come from.
"Why were you fighting? I thought you were not talking anymore."
"We were trying to get back together."
My mouth gaped open. I would've never imagined Harry wanted to get back with Jessica after everything that happened.
"I know it sounds crazy, but I guess I never stopped liking her." He gave me a dull smile.
I remembered the night I had found them talking in the darkness at that party. I had forgotten to ask Harry about it, but I guess now I knew the reason.
"So why did you do it?"
Harry looked away and swallowed before answering.
"She was running away, Adam. With another guy." He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair exasperated. "I guess I got jealous and- I wasn't thinking straight, you know? We started fighting and-".
"Okay, okay." I stopped him. "What are we going to do?
"Grab her feet. Help me carry her."
"So where are we taking her?" I asked almost breathless. We were not only carrying Jessica's body but also all the things Harry thought we may need, including a duffle bag, two lanterns and a gallon of kerosene fuel.
"To the abandoned stilt house next to the lake." He answered, way more steady than me. He was, after all, in better shape.
"Why don't we just throw her to the lake instead?"
"Because, Adam, we need to get rid of any evidence." He said "you know, any fabrics on her wounds, or skin on her nails in case she scratched me. "
"How can you not know if she scratched you?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "I don't know Adam! I think that's what you're supposed to do." He replied irritated.
Harry said it was an accident, but if she had scratched him it meant she put up a fight before dying. The thought sent a shiver down my spine, but I pushed it away, choosing to believe my friend.
"Maybe I should've brought bleach." He mumbled to himself but I heard him loud enough to see this thing was a complete mess.
"I thought you said you knew what you were doing." I said exasperated.
"Yeah? I lied."
"Harry!"
"Relax! I'm just doing what I've seen in movies!"
"In movies?" I whined, dropping the body to the ground.
Harry stopped on his tracks, also placing her down. He looked back at me with an aggrieved look on his face.
"I think you over estimate my ability to pull off a crime, Adam. I'm not a murderer."
I was barely listening to him, too worried trying to figure out what we were supposed to do.
"Adam" Harry called, interrupting my train of thought. I looked back at him with disinterest until I saw the hurt expression on his face. "I'm not a criminal. This was an accident. I need to know you know that."
Of course I hadn't thought of Harry as a criminal, not even when I saw his clothes drenched in blood, or when he showed me Jessica's body. And just by looking at his crushed face I could see how devastated he was by this whole situation.
"Harry" although I believed what I was saying was the truth, I still wanted him to be a hundred percent sure I did. "You are not a criminal. I know that"
"Thanks" he said softly with sincere gratitude.
We remained silent for a while, and when Harry spoke again his voice had gained back it's characteristic confidence.
"Look, this is what we're doing. We'll take her to the lake shack, change her clothes, burn the old ones, put some rocks in the bag and throw her to the lake." He blurted out the last part as he looked like he was going to be sick.
I felt the same. I had always been horrified by corpses and now I was helping to get rid of one.
I took a deep breath before lifting up the legs from the body and Harry did the same with the other end.
We arrived to the stilt house. The thing itself was the setting for a crime scene.
"Okay, go outside and fill the bag with rocks. Enough of them to sink the whole thing. I'll stay here and handle the body."
"Okay." I was glad I didn't have to manipulate the corpse. I wanted to thank him for he knew I didn't have the stomach to do it.
I went outside and started gathering rocks. Despite being summer the night was chilly, but after a few minutes of looking and lifting rocks I was sweating and panting for breath.
After I was done I went inside to check on Harry. I didn't have the stomach to look at Jessica so I focused on him. He had a firm posture and his movements were quick, however, his hands were shaking and, from time to time, he would wipe the tears forming on his eyes.
"Do you need help?" I asked, dreading the answer.
He looked at me startled, he probably hadn't see me. "No" he smiled. "I'm almost done."
Then I noticed Jessica had no clothes on and was wrapped around a blanket. The image revolted me.
"Why did you take her clothes off?" I managed to say, feeling the bile rise through my throat.
Harry took a deep breath. "I told you, I have to get rid of any evidence. My DNA could be in there. I had to clip her nails off as well, but my hands were shaking so I ended up pulling them out." He closed his eyes after that and I realized how pale he was.
It was just a matter of seconds before any of us would be sick so I changed the topic.
"I didn't see anyone outside. There's just the two of us so I think it will be fine."
"Yeah," Harry nodded "this is usually a lonely place. People think it's haunted."
I swallowed hard, only I could start having fear about the ghosts in a place when there was literally a cadaver in front of me.
"I'm done." Said Harry while he finished wrapping her head around the rest of the blanket.
"What a beautiful burrito." I said trying to light the mood but I immediately regretted it.
Harry squinted his eyes while slowly shaking his head. Then he proceeded to pick Jessica from the table.
"Where's the bag?"
I led him to it and helped him to put her body inside while readjusting some of the rocks. Then we rolled it towards the lake.
"Wait!" I said before we dropped her. "Maybe we should pray for her."
Harry looked at me with wide eyes, I knew he was not much of a believer but I still went ahead and lowered my head while I prayed. Harry did the same, probably not to pray but to show his respect.
Once I was done I looked at him and nodded. With a push the bag felt to the water with a splash.
I guess I was expecting something else from that moment, maybe I thought I would see in slow motion how our crime sank into deep water, but it was so dark I couldn't see a thing, one second I was touching it and the next it was gone.
"So, now what?" I said after a while, eager to head home.
"Now we burn her clothes."
________________
From a general view you could say we were just a couple of kids having fun on a summer night around a campfire.
"Should we sing a song?" Now was Harry's time to joke.
I smacked a mosquito on my face. The heat was making them crazy.
Harry seemed to read my discomfort because he said. "It'll be over soon. Just a couple of minutes."
I nodded, watching the fire consume the last pieces of fabric.
Once it was over, we put the fire out with water and decided to finally head home.