"What day is your birthday?"
"Shut up, and go to bed."
"Okay, Okay, but what day is your birthday?"
"I really don't see why you have to know right now. It's December 25th, now will you leave me alone and go to sleep?"
"Oh, but that's Christmas, that's so cool!"
"No it's not. It just means that as a child I got cheated out of a lot of presents. Now, why is this so important?"
"It's not. I'm just wide awake, and was trying to figure out how many weeks older than me you are."
"Why on earth—you know what? Never mind. I don't care what's going on in that mind of yours, just keep it to yourself."
"Okay, I will."
"That means be quiet!"
"I will. I just want to know one more thing." He sighed loudly.
"What?"
"Did you eat anything at the wedding?"
"No, not really."
"Me neither."
"Okay, good to know. Good night."
"But I'm hungry, Thomas!"
"And I don't care! It's 11:30, and we have a plane to catch tomorrow! It's not my fault if you didn't eat anything."
"You're mean."
"Yep, and your married to me now so you better got used to it."
"Why you gotta be so ruude? Don't you know I'm human too?"
"Alex! It is way too late for singing! What the hell is wrong with you? Aren't you tired?"
"It's never too late for singing!I have so much energy!" I sat up to emphasize my point.
"And I have practically none. Now could you stop shaking the entire bed, and go to sleep?" He glared at me, and I kind of felt bad, but I really wasn't at all tired.
"Okay, Okay, I'll try to be more quiet." He held his glare for a few more seconds, before closing his eyes and muttering to himself.
"Why the hell do I have to share a room with him?"
"Because, people would think it was weird if we had separate hotel rooms on our-"
"Alex! It was a rhetorical question!"
"Oh yeah." I giggled, and he opened his eye to look at me.
"Are you sure you didn't drink anything? Cause that would explain why you are being extra weird right now."
"Maybe I did. I didn't really remember. It was a weird day."
"Yeah, it was."
"And you kissed me nine times."
Writing about this is a little embarrassing. Yes, I was still a little tipsy. And yes, I say things that I normally wouldn't say when I am tipsy. Now, back to the story.
Thomas looked over at me.
"Yeah, it was our wedding. We had to kiss for the cameras and stuff."
"I wish you wouldn't say "have to". Makes it sounds like I'm this horrible kisser. One time someone told me I kissed good, so I know I do." I was sitting up now, arms crossed, and no doubt a pouty expression on my face.
"Well, it's an arranged marriage. It's not like we wanted this. But you're the only guy I've ever kissed, so I guess you kiss good for a guy."
"Really?"
"Sure, now go to bed."
"Because one time, someone said I kissed like a twelve-year-old girl."
"Well, how old were you?"
"Twelve." He started laughing, and I didn't know whether or not to be offended.
"Well that explains it. I'm pretty sure that stuff you kept drinking tonight was champagne."
"Alan said it was grape juice."
"Let me assure you, it was not grape juice."
"So Alan lied to me?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Asshole."
"Yes, he is, now go to bed." I sighed in anger at my friend's betrayal, and lay back down.
Perhaps we would have fallen asleep then, if my stomach hadn't chosen that moment to let my hunger be known to the world.
I don't know why, but I couldn't stop laughing.
"Alex!"
"I can't stop! And I'm so hungry!" I rolled over until I was laying next to him. "Take me somewhere to get food?"
"No! Alex, it's so late."
"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"The physical appearance of the please is not going to change my answer."
"Thomas, have a heart." He closed his eyes, and pretend to go to sleep.
"Tommy..." he clenched his jaw, but otherwise ignored me. "Thomas the train engine."
"Alex, please go to bed. You are acting like a child."
"Thats because I'm so hungry. Please take me to get some food." I sighed, and laid my head down on his chest. He instantly stiffened, and pushed me away.
"Alex, scoot over." Blame the alcohol in my system for my reaction. Tears pricked my eyes, and I scooted away from him quickly, burying my face in my pillow.
He was quite for a few seconds.
"Are you really that hungry?" I popped my head up, and wiped my eyes.
"Yes, I'm starving." He sighed again, and sat up.
"Let's go."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes. Now get some shoes on before I change my mind."
"Okay!" I jumped up and down a few times before digging through my suitcase to find shoes.
A minutes later we were sneaking out as quietly as we could to his car. Even I realized that some people were trying to sleep. Once we reached his car, he turned towards me.
"Well, where are we going?"
"McDonald's! I need fries and ice cream!"
"I've never been, but okay. I thought you said you were hungry. How is that going to fill you?"
"Wait! Back up! You've never been to McDonald's?" He shook his head, and entered the name in maps on his phone.
"Son, you are missing out! No wonder you are so weird!"
While we drove, I filled him in on everything he was missing my not going to McDonald's. Things like acne and buckets of grease.
No one else was there when we walked in, which Thomas said wasn't surprising. I was surprised, because I just assumed it was always packed. I was also still tipsy. Please remember that, and don't judge me too harshly.
I think the cashier recognized us, or else she just like looking at my husband. My husband. I liked the way the sounded.
"What are you smiling about?" We had just sat down, and Thomas was looking across the table at me.
For being dragged out of his bed at midnight, he still looked amazing. Like, his bed hair was gorgeous, and was messed up perfectly.
"I was just thinking about something." He nodded, and looked down at his hands while he waited for our food.
"You're my husband." I blurted out. He looked up, and met my eyes.
"Yes, I am." I beamed at him.
"I like saying that."
"Okay." Just then the lady from before brought called out our order, and Thomas went to go get it.
"Here's your ice cream." He passed it to me, and opened the bag.
"Didn't you order ice cream for yourself?" He shook his head, and passed me my fries.
"So you just ordered fries for yourself?"
"Yes. Is that okay with you?"
"No, it's not okay! Have you ever eaten fries with ice cream?"
"No. That sounds weird."
"Oh my lord! Dip your fry in this ice cream right now!" I held it out to him, and waited while he decided what to do. Eventually he gave in, and dipped his fry in.
"Okay, that is actually really good."
"See! I told you!"
"You were right." He grabbed another fry, and looked like he was about to dip, but I wasn't having any of it.
"Get your own!"
"But I just bought-"
"This is mine!" I licked it. "There, it has gay germs on it, you won't want it now."
"I just was gonna do it one more time."
"And then that one leads to another, and pretty soon I'm left with just the cone. Get your own, boy." He shook his head, but went back up to the counter and ordered his own.
So we spent the next ten minutes eating our food, and discussing how good it was and how weird it was that he'd never had fries and ice cream before.
Seriously, I'm starting to understand why this man was such a tightwad before. He had never truly lived.
I only had a few fries left when I suddenly felt very tired. My eyelids dropped, and I think I must have swayed in my seat.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"I think that I'm about to fall asleep." He took in my appearance, and quickly collected our trash, throwing it away, and hurrying back.
"Lets go before you fall asleep on me." I tried to stand up, and suddenly felt very lightheaded. I leaned heavily on Thomas, and he led us out.
"I don't think champagne and McDonald's mix well for you." He muttered as we walked. Well, more like he walked and I was dragged along.
I looked up at him, and thought to myself how handsome he was. He brought me around to my side of the car, and stopped to open my door. I reached up and touched his cheek, like I had wanted to do for so long.
"I like you Thomas." He didn't answer, and I felt how tense he had become. His eyes showed just how uncomfortable he was, but he didn't push me away. Probably because he was trying to keep me from falling over, and trying to open a door all at once.
"But I like fries and ice cream better." I removed my hand from his face, and got into my seat.
"Yeah, those are pretty good." He laughed, probably relieved that that moment was over.
"I think I should have married them." I informed him as he got into the driver's seat.
"Maybe. Oh wait, wouldn't that be bigamy?"
"Oh yeah, it would. Probably good that I didn't then."
"Yes, because that's the only thing wrong with that arrangement."
"Wouldn't want to have to make bigamy legal as well as gay marriage."
"Definitely not." I closed my eyes, and leaned my head on the window. "Hey, no going to sleep. I am not carrying you to our room."
"Isn't that what the groom is supposed to do on the wedding night?" I mumbled, eyes still closed.
"Yes, but since we are both grooms, I figure we can just both carry ourselves." He had me there.
Somehow I made it up the stairs and into our room without falling asleep. I was so tired that I feel asleep almost the minute I fell back in bed.
So I wasn't very happy when I found myself on the floor in the middle of the night.
Damn, he was serious about not taking his covers.