requested: nope
scenario: he still remembers the day they met. he still remembers all the happy moments together. and now that she's gone, he just wants her back.
pairing: exo kai x rosé
genre: angst, angst and more angst
au: idol au i guess? i genuinely don't know
word count: 1,582 words
status: edited
tip: italic is the song lyrics
bold is memories
a/n: anything jongin/kai does or says here is simply a work of fiction. also can we just pretend that rosé is legal four years ago,,, it's only for this story
also it's kind of a mess so please forgive me, if there anything you don't understand or would like to clarify please feel free to comment :) also note that it changes from you to her/she in the end
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i know that it's hard and difficult to come back to me
i know you no longer want to get hurt and you're afraid
i still remember the day we met.
i mean, how could i even forget?
i still remember how shy yet cute you were.
it'd be impossible to get you out of my head when you're still resting in my heart. it's holding on to every piece of you it can get to try and fix itself but there are too many already lost.
even on the day i left you
i made you cry with cruel words
but i regretted it as soon as i turned around, i'm sorry
"jongin, please!" you cried, tears flowing down your face like waterfalls. "we can work this out!"
"oh come on rosé, there's nothing left of us. you and i both know it. why bother keep trying?" i rolled my eyes.
"jong..."
"we're over. i expect you to take your all belongings in two weeks." i said sharply, turning around, not sparing you a glance as i walked out of the apartment, slamming the door as i walked into seoul's chilly night. but your sobs were still loud and clear, tearing my heart little by little without me even realising.
as soon as i was in the park near our-my- place, i sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.
"did i really have to be so fucking harsh to her?" i cursed, realising my mistake. your heart was soft and fragile and i... broke it with just a few words.
i wanted to rephrase my words, turn them into something less hurtful. but by the time i went back to the apartment ready to apologise you had already fallen asleep on the couch with your tear stained face.
even in that state, you looked as beautiful as ever.
i let you sleep, get the rest you deserved. but by the time i woke up, you were gone. you already took a few of your clothes with you.
i noticed how my closet looked so empty and dull without your colourful sweaters and shirts and hoodies.
and by the next week, all your things were already gone.
i chuckled bitterly to and at myself, amazed at how stupid i was four years ago. i had the girl of so many mens dreams, and yet i let her go so easily.
please, just once more
if i could see you again
i don't care if i lose everything
the worst part was, i wanted to see you one last time before you officially left. but you did it so quietly, and it hurt me.
but why do i feel hurt when i was the one who drove you out?
i'd do anything if it meant seeing you one last time and being able to hold you again. you are my world but i was too young and dumb to see that.
i wish i could meet you in my dreams
and love you again
just like this
"kim jongin! put me down!" chaeyoung giggled as i carried her bridal style around the apartment.
"no!" i stuck my tongue out at her, running around while she bounced in my arms.
"jongin!" she whined, holding on to me tighter. i laughed and put her down, dragging her onto the couch with me. she fell into my open arms, laughing as well.
i see you every night in my dreams. all they did was remind me of your presence, and that often led to sleepless nights for me. our breakup would often replay in my mind, like a song put on repeat.
it might be easier to die
than to receive your forgiveness
i'm singing this song
but i don't know if my true intentions will reach you
all the times i've tried to contact you, you've either ignored me or just told me to stop. but i understand why though.
it's my fault you're like this anyways.
i hope you'll be happy
i can't even lie, such a common thing
i'm only praying you'll come back, i'm sorry
i held the polaroids we took in my hand, grasping it tightly as if someone were to take it away.
we were so happy.
you were laughing, your mouth open while your head was thrown back in your laughing fit. i remember taking the photo with tears of laughter steaming down my face. why we were even laughing, we didn't know.
moments like those i treasured the most.
but as we-i- grew more distant, i started lying to avoid you.
but back then, i was a pretty fucking terrible liar.
i would tell you that i was still practicing while stuttering, and obviously my members weren't of much help. or maybe i'd tell you that i would be staying at the dorm, even when i had told you in the morning that i'd be staying in the apartment that night.
i would chuckle nervously while you sighed, saying you'd go to bed first. i sometimes couldn't help but make a sigh of relief.
only after you left, i finally realised how crucial you were to me. and i prayed every night for you to come back, telling me that it was okay. i even tried to distract myself by going out with someone else, but that didn't work either.
i'm sorry.
please, just once more
if i could see you again
i don't care if i lose everything
now i only get to see you from afar, from my seat in the award shows we attend or while you were onstage performing. or maybe if i was lucky enough to spot you while i was performing.
i truly do cherish the times we shared together, and i wish we could experience those times again.
i wish i could meet you in my dreams
and love you again
just like this
"jongin, i can't sleep..." you sighed.
"come here, baby..." i opened my arms widely, rubbing my eyes a little. your smaller frame cuddled into my chest as my arms hugged you tightly. and in a few minutes, you succumbed to the spell of sleep.
"i love you, chaeyoung..." i whispered, stroking your hair before i too, fell asleep.
now it's over, it's the last time
i can't believe it
can't let go
cause you never know
i wish i could forget you.
to save both you and i from all this pain that we, mostly me, both caused.
but you're too precious to me and when i saw you backstage, i just had to.
i couldn't let you go, and i refused to believe that it was probably the last time i'll ever get to hold you like that again.
you hugged back on instinct, and i could hear your soft sniffling.
"i'm sorry for all the pain i've caused both you and i," i mumbled, holding you tightly. you hugged back even tighter than before, letting a strangled sob leave your lips.
"i'm sorry too," you replied.
someone like you for me, someone like me for you
there won't be another love like that again
nobody knows
we always know
the love you and i had and still have for each other was one of a kind. it wasn't something i could've ever felt again with someone else.
it's only you for me and no matter how hard i try, it'll always only be you.
nobody knew of this relationship other than the exo and blackpink members. but not even yang hyun-suk or lee soo-man knew. we kept it pretty well hidden, and i know the fans don't ship us together since we don't seem like a good fit or something like that.
but we knew.
[a/n: gonna skip the chorus this time bc if i don't it'll be more of a mess then it already is lol]
after this time passes
and i can only forget everything
those memories, those happy memories
"promise you'll never stop loving me?"
"that's a silly question to ask rosie, you know i'll always love you."
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"when we get married, we're gonna be the happiest couple alive!"
"aren't we already the happiest one?"
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"i want to be your first and last."
"and i'll be your first and last."
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"oppa, i love you!"
"i love you too my precious baby."
or in the next life
i hope i can meet you and love you again
just like before
"i... can i just... kiss you one last time?" i asked quietly, looking at her. she nodded her head slowly, looking up at me. i leaned down and placed my lips on hers, our lips moving together.
when we finally did break apart, we were both gasping for air. but i was beyond happy. i had my wishes answered and it was only right to no longer bother her.
"hey, jongin?" she called out to me quietly. i let out a 'hm' whilst turning to look at her. "i just... thank you. for always being there for me and loving me. you're the only one for me and i know that, but i think it's best we part ways."
"i understand. i hope in my next life, i can meet you and love you again, just like in this one. except, with us staying together in the end of course." i chuckled quietly as she smiled, hugging me.
"i love you. please never forget that."
"i love you too."
we'll meet again in the next life, chaeyoung. next time, as soulmates.
for now, i'll remember this memory as untitled, 2014.