It took several months for Gwen to recover. I had temporarily stopped being Spider-Man so I could spend more time with her. I had to make sure she was still doing okay...but I have to let this go. I've been stupid, selfish, and irresponsible about this too many times, and I can't let anything terrible happen to her again.
Gwen and I were walking through a park, nearing a water fountain. We were both silent for awhile, but then I spoke.
"Gwen, it happened to you because of me," I said. She stopped walking and turned to me.
"No it didn't," she said softly. "I chose to follow you, and you needed me. How would you have defeated Electro without me?"
"I know, but you almost died...."
"Almost. I didn't. And you saved me."
"You wouldn't have been hurt in the first place if it weren't for me. I just can't do this. I can't watch you die. Your dad was right. I can't do this to you; I love you too much."
Tears were forming in Gwen's eyes. Oh, how I wanted to kiss her, to wrap my arms around her and keep her safe and happy.
But she's not safe with me.
"I know you love Peter Parker more, but I will always be Spider-Man. I can't change that. I will always be a danger to the ones I love, and I just want you to be safe," I said.
"But I'm only happy when I'm with you..."
"You need to go to Oxford. Live a life that you actually can safely live. If we'd never met, you'd already be there, learning a lot...shooting for a big life ahead, and it can't be done when we're together. I have to stay here. The people of New York need me...the crime rate has already increased. They want to know where I am. People have died because I haven't been there for them. I have to do this, Gwen, and I'm sorry. It's for the best."
"If we'd never met, I wouldn't have applied for Oxford. You're the one person who showed me who I really am. I can't go on..."
I stared at her for a minute, my teeth chattering as I tried to keep from crying. "You have to. I have to keep you safe."
Gwen wiped tears from her eyes, nodding sadly after finally giving up. "All right, but I'm at least going to text you from England." We managed to exchange smiles and strained laughs.
"Fine," I said.
"They should let me in next semester," Gwen said. "They still have a spot open, I think."
She leaned in for a last kiss, and then we parted. She stared up into my eyes one last time. "Goodbye Peter," she said, wiping one last tear. She forced another smile and walked away.
I watched her go, my bottom lip trembling, until she vanished into a crowd. My eyes were getting moist anyway, so I blinked several times to fight back tears.