The Amazing Spider-Man 3

Chapter 10

I hate to admit it, but I actually enjoyed the kiss. I eventually broke away, but the kiss lasted too long. That was the last link, before I was fully in love. Now I was in love.

I can't do this.

I stared into her eyes, and she stared into mine. She was beautiful, like Gwen.

Gwen.

Gwen is in England.

Before I knew it, we were kissing again. Did she kiss me, or did I kiss her? Her lip gloss tasted like strawberries. The kiss made me feel lighter, like I was floating. It felt wonderful.

I cupped her face in my hands like I always did with Gwen.

Gwen.

Gwen is in England.

I kissed her more and more, and time seemed to stop. I couldn't kiss another girl without thinking about Gwen.

Gwen.

I love Gwen.

That's when I realized why I loved Mary Jane. Mary Jane reminds me of Gwen. They have the same bright green eyes that you can lose yourself in. They're both geniuses, much smarter than I am. Mary Jane's hair was a different color than Gwen's, but it was still styled similarly. They both said my name with the same impulse.

I don't love Mary Jane.

I love Gwen Stacy.

I backed off again, letting out a sigh. "I can't do this," I said.

"Why not?" Mary Jane looked at with me with the same innocent eyes. I wanted to throw and break something because Gwen and Mary Jane were so much alike.

"I just can't," I slumped back into my seat, looking at the ceiling. I wanted to tell her why. Mary Jane, I am in love with someone else. I can't be with anyone anyway, because I'm Spider-Man.

I reached for the door handle again, then opened the door and climbed out of her car. I turned and looked back at her. Her eyes were wet with fresh tears. It broke my heart to do this to her, but I had to do it now before it was any worse.

"You know what, I think I'll get the supplies. Alone," her voice turned cold. She climbed out and slammed her car door, stomping up to the store. I gave a sigh and walked home. I didn't have the energy and motivation to swing home, so I took the extra time to walk. Besides, I had more time to think.

Mary Jane's image stayed in my head as I walked, and I analyzed it. I realized that she didn't quite look as much as Gwen as I'd thought. My imagination had turned her into Gwen, and I missed Gwen so much, I tried to fall in love with a girl to replace her.

I could never replace Gwen. I've never met anyone like her. I never will.

Is this what it's like, after you are forced to leave the woman you love, you know you can't have her, and you miss her more than you could possibly miss anyone else?

---

My technology class the next day was as awkward as heck. Mary Jane was angry with me, but she still liked me. I tried not to show any emotion at all...only finish the project and get on with my jacked-up life.

Almost any time I looked at her, I saw Gwen. I felt a deep, painful, emptiness in my heart, something that only Gwen could fill.

Is this what it's like to miss someone you love? Will I be like this for the rest of my life?

---

That night, I texted Gwen. We hadn't contacted each other for weeks, and I longed for her reply.

"Can't talk now. I'm really busy. Sorry," she replied half an hour later. I scrolled through our text messages. They were all almost identical. I would text her, asking her how she was. All I got in return was that she was busy.

Was she really that busy, or was she avoiding me?

I slumped onto my bed, switching off my lamp and closing my eyes. It was time to call it a night.