"Baby, I don't understand this
You're changing, I can't stand it"
-XXXTENTACION
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Jahseh
"So, baby. I've been thinking..." Geneva smirked at me as I put a fork full of food in my mouth. I looked at her and nodded my head towards her, indicating for her to continue. "I was thinking you could move in with me."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "You don't think it's too soon for that?"
"I know, I know. But baby, look, you'll be 18 in a couple of months, so by then, it won't be too much of problem of me being older than you because you'll be legally emancipated. Plus, you won't have to live with your parents or Kehlani anymore."
She said Kehlani's name with so much jealousy, it was almost funny. I thought about what she said, but I feel like I need more time to think about it, considering it's a pretty big step in our relationship.
"Could you give me some time to think about it, Gen?"
She nodded her head. "Yeah. Definitely, babe." She pecked my cheek before standing to go wash her plate.
If I move in with Geneva, I feel like Kehlani and I would drift off, and I don't really want that to happen. I would ask her how she feels about that idea, but then again, that's a stupid ass thing to do. It's bad enough her and Geneva hate each other; I'm not trying to start no fucking World War 3. Knowing the both of them, the shit is possible.
-
"Jahseh, is that you?" I heard my mom's voice from the living room as soon as I closed the front door. "Yeah, it's me."
"Come here." Her voice sounded kind of strict. I furrowed my eyebrows as I checked the time on my phone. It was 10:37 at night, so it couldn't have been about curfew because I'm actually home early.
I walked into the living room, and when she saw me she had this evil look in her eyes. Oh, shit Kehlani. What did you say? I knew them talking was a bad idea.
"What's up, mom?"
"Don't 'what's up mom' me, boy. Sit down."
I furrowed my eyebrows as I sat on the couch across from her. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What's wrong, boy, is that you have not been to school in almost 2 going on 3 weeks. Have you lost your mind? You got these people calling me asking about you! Why haven't you been in school?!"
"I don't like that school anymore, mom! Everybody there is a weird--"
"You're not going there for everybody, Jahseh! You're going there for your education!"
I bit my bottom lip in deep thought before responding to her. "I want to drop out, mom."
"You what?!" She stood up, giving me the hardest glare.
"I want to focus on my music more! My grades aren't even that good anyways, so I might as well just focus on something I love!"
"So what, you just gonna become some cliche ass rapper?!"
"No, I'm not none of these mumble rap ass dudes! I can really do this, mom! I've been working on my lyrics and everything!"
"Well, in this house, in order to stay in this house, you either work or go to school! Since you can't do neither one, you can just get on out since you think you grown! I have had it with you, Jahseh! I ain't putting up with it no more!"
"Ma, you don't mean that."
"Oh I mean it. I want you out first thing in the morning. You want to drop out of school, then you can drop out of my house."
I nodded my head as I tucked in my lips. "Alright. Fasho."
She just scoffed and shook her head before storming upstairs. I don't understand why she was so pissed at me for not being at school, but now she's gonna kick me out because I want to pursue my dream? Maybe this shit is just a sign: it's time for me to live on my own.
Kehlani
I heard the door close from across the hall, which meant Janice and my dad were getting ready for bed. I heard everything that happened just now between Janice and Jahseh, and I couldn't help but to feel sad. She kicked him out, so now that means he would most likely either move in with Ski, WiFi, or Geneva. I pray to God he doesn't move in with her; I have a bad feeling about them even being together, let alone them living together. Geneva has a bad spirit within her, and I'm not even the kind of person to believe in that spiritual stuff.
I tried my best to stand up, ignoring the pain in my abdomen and stomach, just to get downstairs. Once I successfully made it to my door, I opened it and limped towards the stairs, but Jahseh was already towards the top, with a box of trash bags in his hand. When he saw me struggling, he swiftly rushed over to help me, trying to be really quiet.
"Lani, what are you doing? You shouldn't be out of bed or making too much movement." He whispered.
"Are you really going to move out?" I ignored his statement. I didn't care if I was in pain, I didn't want him to leave me.
He sighed before opening his bedroom door and walking us in, closing it behind us. He walked me over to his bed before sitting me down and running his fingers through his blonde and black hybrid dreads. "I have to go, Lani."
"No you don't. Why can't you achieve your dream and stay in school?"
"Don't you want your dream to come true?"
"More than anything.. But I haven't figured out how I'm going to do that, and I know you haven't either."
Jahseh sighed in an annoyed manner. "If you could just drop out of school right now and go to achieve your dream, where would you go to do that?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I-I don't know, but I won't drop out. I'd go to a performing arts school. I've always wanted to do that."
He gave me an intense look. "Then do it."
I shook my head. "I want to go out of state. My dad wouldn't let that happen."
"Well then maybe it's just time for you to make your own moves, and to stop letting him control you. You're about to be 18, you gotta start somewhere." He said as he took one of the extra large trash bags out of the box and began to put his belongings in there.
He was right. I want to be able to achieve my goals, but I want to do it my way. "Where are you gonna go?" I watched him as he packed.
"To stay with Geneva. For now, at least. Until I get my money good."
"I don't know if that's a good idea, Jah. I don't trust that idea."
"It doesn't matter, Kehlani. I don't have any other place to go."
"You could move in with Ski."
"Ski got enough problems of his own with his living situation. I'm not adding more to it." He continued to pack.
"What about WiFi?"
He scoffed and chuckled. "Yeah right. Partying and fucking hoes all day and night is my motivation for great success."
"Jahseh, I don't fucking know, man. I just don't want you to move in with her."
"It's not your fucking life," he raised his voice. "it's mine. Whatever the fuck happens, happens. I can't stop what my future has in store for me."
"It could be good if you make the right decision." I raised my voice back.
"Make your own fucking decisions for your fucking life, Kehlani. Why the fuck do you even care about me so much anyway? All we are is stepbrother and stepsister! That's it! That should be all we ever should've been! Maybe us doing what we did and saying what we said to each other is what is making shit go so bad for us, because we know it isn't right, and you are going way too in over your head right now! Telling me what to do with my life while you're stuck in yours! I'm sacrificing for my dreams! When will you do the fucking same?"
I was hurt. I was hurt not only because he said that, but because he was right.
I stood up. "Fine then. Have a nice fucking life, dickhead." I limped towards his door before letting myself out, ignoring him calling my name. I closed his door behind me before hurrying into my own room and closing my door. Once I was able to make it to my bed, I sat down as the tears began to fall.
He's changing. I can feel it.
-
Friday
Today was Friday, and despite all that's happened this week, it never stopped me from looking forward to this day. Sky should be getting here any minute, and I can't wait to see her. But it's like, I'm not reacting how I'm supposed to.
Yeah, I'm really glad that my best friend is coming back out here, but it's like ever since Jahseh moved out, I've been down and unenthusiastic about everything. I'm hoping that Sky could somehow help me feel better, because I never ever felt this way in my entire life.
"Kehlani." My dad called from the front door. I looked at him from the living room and I saw his briefcase, indicating he was leaving for work. "You gonna be fine waiting for Skyler here? Alone?"
I nodded my head. "Yes. I'll be okay." Without saying anything else, he walked out of the front door and closed it as I continued to lay on the couch and watch TV. After a couple minutes went by, I began to feel myself doze off.
"Kehlani!" I heard Jahseh yell, but I continued to walk away. It wasn't long until he ran up to me and turned me around. Tears were filling his eyes as he looked into mine, but it was like I didn't seem to care. "She wants to kill me. Help me. She's tryna ruin my life."
"You should've listened to me, Jahseh." I nonchalantly stated.
It was like I could see his heart break through his eyes. I couldn't really relate anymore, considering I don't have a heart anymore after all this time.
"Kehlani. I love you."
"Kehlani! Bitch please don't be dead!" Sky cried as I felt her curly head on my arm. I opened my eyes and looked down at her in confusion.
"Sky, what the hell?" My raspy voice said as I rubbed my eye. She looked at me and let out a sigh of relief.
"Oou, bitch I thought you was dead!" Sky let out a deep breath. "Where Jahseh at? I thought I would see him once I came in."
I sighed as I sat up cautiously. "He moved out, Sky. His mom kicked him out because he wanted to drop out of school for his music career."
She shook her head. "Damn. Where he live now?"
I rolled my eyes. "With Geometry."
Sky laughed at my pettiness, I didn't care. I was still upset at the fact Jahseh really moved in with her. "Now Kehlani. I know you know better than that." She laughed.
I shrugged. "I'm serious. He could've moved in with Ski or WiFi, but no. He just had to move into a person that he knows I don't like's house."
"Well, you need to realize that at the end of the day, she's his girl. Today, tomorrow, yesterday, this minute, this hour: that's his girl. You may not like her, and dammit I don't either. Trust me on that, but still, he chose to make her his, so now he took it to the next step. That kind of shit, you just gotta learn to deal with."
I sighed as my phone began to ring. I looked at the screen and saw that it was WiFi calling me. "Hey, what's up?" I answered as Sky sat down next to me, looking at the TV.
"Yo, come thru. You and Sky, I seen her Snapchat story. I know she there."
I laughed as I looked at Sky. "Damn nigga, you a stalker but alright. Send me the address."
"Alright jit." He hung up. Sky looked over at me as I locked my phone.
"Who was that?" She asked.
"WiFi. He know you out here, so he wanna see you."
As soon as I said that, she jumped up real quick. "Bitch let's go! What's the addy?!"
I laughed as I reached my hand out for hers, and she helped me up. "He's supposed to be sending it to me right now." As if on cue, I got the text from WiFi, and I waved the screen at Sky with a smirk on my face.
"And we out this bitch!" She pulled me out of the living room as I laughed.
-
"You're a retard, WiFi! Back yo ass up!" Sky laughed as WiFi kept making a face at her. I just chuckled and shook my head as the doorbell rang. WiFi finally left Sky alone to go answer the door while she looked at me and shook her head.
"That boy is just so damn silly, girl." She chuckled and I smiled.
"Shut up, you like him."
She tossed a pillow at me, and I laughed as WiFi came back into the living room, with Jahseh and Geneva behind him. My laugh and smile disappeared, and so did Sky's.
"Hey, where's Ski and Red?" The bitch herself asked WiFi. Lord knows how bad I want to slap her, but she got lucky since I'm still recovering.
"They should be here any minute." WiFi answered as he sat back in his old spot next to Sky. Her and I shared the exact same looks with each other, as Jahseh and Geneva sat on the couch across from Sky and WiFi. As long as they don't sit on the one I'm on, I'm good.
-
I sat on the Jacuzzi as the warm water bubbled on my legs. I had it all to myself since everybody else was in the swimming pool or the game room. I just used this alone time to think about everything. I already know that Jahseh still doesn't want to talk to me and I'm fine with that because I don't want to talk to him either.
The things that he said to me were fucked up, but I couldn't help but to give credit to him for being right. We were only supposed to be stepbrother and stepsister, and nothing more. But was it really my fault for everything that happened, or was it the both of us that were responsible?
"Hey." Sky said as she sat next to me. "Why you over here by yourself? Looking all depressed."
I shook my head. "Just thinking to myself."
"Stop. Everytime you 'think to yourself', you end up overthinking."
"I can't help it, Sky." I looked at her. "It's just, I don't like how everything is right now. Especially how things are going between Jahseh and I. Like, I don't know how to feel or what to do."
She sighed. "What you feel is up to you, but what you should do is wait for a blessing, because they always come when you feel lost."
I didn't say anything else after that. She was right.
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Here's the update! 🙌
I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter❤
Because there's way more to come😈
Thoughts???
I also dropped a couple numerology hints☺
More coming up!!✨
-Jay👑♉