Even though Alcina made it clear that she was returning home, Renata still found herself feeling slightly worried, simply because she thought it was all coming across as too easy. After years and years of her mother always having to be the one who was right and trying to keep her children on the path she and her husband had paved, it seemed too easy that she would just give in and return home. Did she really hold that much doubt in Renata's ability to find a job and a man that made her happy to the point where she truly believed that Renata could be coming "home" sooner rather than later?
It was clear that Alcina believed that Renata was incapable of doing anything properly for herself because, in her mother's eyes, she had just become a babysitting whore. It definitely hurt Renata to hear her mother say such things about her, especially since Renata had done really nothing to warrant such a reaction. But it angered Renata beyond anything that Alcina had gone after James in such an insensitive way. To bring up Lily as if she blamed James for his wife's death, he didn't need that at all. She had been so disrespectful to James, it really did come across as bewildering to Renata.
Throughout her childhood, Renata had distinct memories of her parents always coming across as so poised and sophisticated in the eyes of others, especially guests. They were the perfect family and they certainly made it well-known with how they carried themselves. But what Renata had come to witness, her mother had fallen from the graces of perfection so rapidly, only to crash and burn like the remains of Icarus. Perhaps her mother wanted her family to fly close to the sun so that they would forever be showered in the light, but flying too close had resulted in nothing pleasant.
Renata didn't want to see it before, however, she had no other choice but to realise that her mother could be quite a monster when she did not get her way with things. She had managed to make everyone feel absolutely miserable and she had only visited for two hours. What would have happened if she ended up staying the entire time that she planned for her visit? Renata didn't even want to think about it, she already knew that Adelmo had been knocked down several pegs with his confidence due to their mother's visit.
Thankfully, Alcina had only mocked the presentation of his flat, if she had known about whatever was taking place between him and Sirius, Renata could have expected a hellish storm and Renata didn't think her brother was strong enough to tackle that as of yet. He was going to need time to recover because once again, he was reminded that he was a disappointment, due to the lack of a wife and the start of a family. The only way he could be deemed accomplished would be to return home with a wife and children so that their parents knew there was no way he could stray back towards men.
Hopefully, Renata could be there for him as well as Sirius because while she wasn't sure what was really going on between the two men, she was sure that Sirius would be there for Adelmo no matter what. That gave Renata the opportunity to focus on James because she really felt as though her mother had crossed so many damn lines in such a short period of time. James had been doing so well with his healing, he was going for days without any sort of problems and she didn't want that to end for him.
However, to her surprise, as she attempted to apologise to him in the hallway of his flat, James appeared rather happy after Alcina's departure. She figured he was just initially relieved that the evil woman was gone, but it was much more than that. He kissed her like he was proud of her and maybe he was because she stood up to her mother. Maybe he was beyond thrilled that she said that she would much rather be Harry's nanny a million times over instead of becoming an Auror.
She had even surprised herself when she said it, but it remained true. Despite the incident in the kitchen when she had broken the plate, when it came to her job with her Harry, she didn't want to trade it in for anything. She adored Harry as if he were her own son that she was helping to raise and she really meant it when she ripped into her mother. With no recollection of the desire to become an Auror, Renata firmly believed that she never had any want to be an Auror, she had only accepted it as truth because of her parents.
Her job as a nanny proved to bring her more happiness, cooking brought about more happiness than her "dream job."
And it was all of that which led to the breakthrough of James finally requesting that she call him that instead of "Mr Potter." He probably didn't understand how happy she felt during that moment because it appeared that it was something that he had been wanting for a long time. She didn't realise it, only because James had never said anything, yet, he told her that if she didn't start calling him James that he was going to lose his mind.
If that wasn't enough to make Renata swoon, she could distinctly remember what James had said earlier in the presence of her mother.
"...Our relationship started off as Renata working as Harry's nanny, but as time went on and I could see how remarkable she was, I couldn't help but fall for her. If you gave your daughter just a fraction of praise of what she deserves, you would understand that it's really not that difficult to fall in love with her..."
Just thinking about it caused her heartbeat to race in her chest and paired with James kissing her at that very same moment, she was lucky that he was holding her because she was fairly certain that she would have collapsed from weakened legs. However, she wondered if he meant the part of falling in love with her, she had no doubt that he liked her a lot, but had he really fallen in love with her or was he just saying it for the sake of driving his point home to Alcina?
For the time being, it didn't really matter, Renata wasn't happy with how things had ended off with her mother, but she was happy with what it was resulting in.
The kisses were growing sloppy between the two and James couldn't hold Renata any closer to his body at that point, even though he was trying. After he told her that she was going to drive him mad with the whole " Mr Potter" act, his ears were blessed once more when she gave him her response.
"Alright, James."
He wasn't sure what it was about listening to her say his name, but each time sent pleasant shivers down his spine as if she were whispering a love spell in his ear. Paired with the smile on her face as she said it, James was relieved because after he had told her to call him James, he was nervous that he came across as too pushy. But that didn't seem to be the case at all, Renata seemed more than happy to do so as she was kissing him back with as much force as he was putting in initially.
Occasionally, both of them would get a mouthful of teeth from the other, which only led them to break into laughter until the other one couldn't resist anymore and returned to the previous action. They were so caught up in the moment and their own emotions that they couldn't even concentrate or fall into sync with what the other was doing. If Renata was going in for a gentle kiss, James was going in for a hard one, and when her lips crashed against his with such force when he was expecting the gentle graze, he would take a step back.
Eventually, they didn't even care to match up the intensity of their kisses, they were just playing a game of stealing a kiss back and forth until they were both out of breath. And with James panting against the side of her neck, Renata could hardly breathe feeling his hot breath against her skin.
Everything felt right about the moment, that James didn't have a problem with seeing how far things would go. He would only continue if Renata was comfortable and so far, she wasn't pushing him away. His hands trailed up under her shirt, making contact with her warm skin that left the tips of his fingers to tingle. Soon enough, in slow movements that involved them pulling away from each other, the two didn't even realise they had been undressing each other until Renata felt the coolness of James' ring against her bare hip.
It caused Renata to pull away for a second and peer down as she had completely forgotten about the wedding band. James followed her gaze as well, curious as to what had distracted her from the moment and as soon as he spotted his ring, he took several steps back from Renata, hanging his head in shame. He was quiet for a few moments as he just stared at it and realised what was about to happen.
He had been fully prepared to continue moving on to the next step in their relationship, but his wedding band had interrupted the moment and it brought him to think about Lily. It immediately killed the mood as he watched out of the corner of his eye as Renata collected her clothing from the floor quickly and started to get dressed again.
"I'll head over to Sirius' place," she announced after he said nothing, feeling shameful that he had ruined the moment between them, " I'll see if he and Harry are still there. I'll be back soon..."
James was just about to call out an apology but Renata was fast with her attempt to get out of the door before anything could be said. Of course, she wasn't going to bring herself to say anything about the ring, she wasn't going to ask him to take it off, but at the same time, he knew it made her uncomfortable. And it probably didn't help her that her mother was practically shaming her for being with a widower.
One that was still carrying guilt with how things had ended between them.
He knew that Lily's death wasn't his fault and he was coming to terms that there had been troubles in their relationship that he had ignored at the time to keep his own image in his mind that everything was perfect in their lives. But the more he thought about his relationship with Lily, he realised that it probably wouldn't have worked out in the long run.
It didn't mean that he didn't love Lily, he did and he always would. However, he thought back to everything that had happened and realised that even Lily probably loved him, but whether she was in love with him in that sense was something else. During their relationship, they did share beautiful memories and James would never regret Lily being his first for practically everything. But he had to learn to let go, not of the memories of Lily, but the guilt he had been carrying for so long.
Even if he hadn't left the home that night, there was no guarantee that Lily would have lived from the attack. There was no telling what would have happened, so he couldn't live his life with all the "what ifs." It wasn't fair to him, it wasn't fair to Harry, and it certainly wasn't fair to Renata.
After all the wonderful things she said about him when facing her mother, she didn't become upset when James challenged her mother. In fact, she stood right next to him, taking his side and not only that, but defending her position as Harry's nanny because that meant more to her than any other "dream career." What more was James looking for at that point, what more did he want out of her? She did so much for him, for both of them, so James had to do the same for her.
He felt terrible because even if Renata didn't see as such, the way James had pulled away and kept his ring on, it was almost like he was choosing it over her. That he was choosing to hold onto the memories of his late wife, rather than moving forward with Renata. And he was only doing it out of guilt because he felt like he hadn't done enough to prevent what happened. His nightmares of Lily being harsh with him were not accurate portrayals of how life had been when they were together, it was his own guilt manifesting into creating horrible images to belittle himself.
That wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to Lily.
If anything, it was an entirely unfair situation for everyone involved and James knew he had to make things right. Looking down at the ring once more, moving it to his right hand hadn't solved the problem, but he finally came up with a solution that he thought would work perfectly.
Meanwhile, Renata felt like such a flake after leaving the Potter home, thinking she was terribly rude for walking out as she did. However, she thought she had placed James in a very uncomfortable position, perhaps she had read his body language wrong. Maybe she had been pushing for things to happen before he was ready and that left her feeling even worse. He had just told her to start calling him James rather than Mr Potter and while it seemed they were taking one step forward, it turned out they were taking two steps back.
The only thing she could think of doing was leaving the flat to give him some space and go to collect Harry to let Sirius know that everything was well in the household once more. When she arrived at Sirius' flat, she found the two sitting outside, Harry chewing on a miniature toy broomstick to settle his teeth. Sirius, on the other hand, didn't look nearly as content when she approached.
"Is everything alright?" she asked him. "Did something-"
"Well, apparently, Harry didn't like the idea of leaving you and James alone with your mother," Sirius informed her, " as soon as we left, he started throwing up a storm of a tantrum inside. I won't let you see the mess he created, but two of my windows are broken, just from him screaming. My wallpaper peeled, which is fine because it was ghastly to begin with, but-"
"Mummy!" Harry cried out, dropping the broom off to the side and holding out his arms to Renata to lift him up. For a few moments, the adults were silent, exchanging looks with one another before Renata gave in.
"Well, I suppose I should be thankful that he didn't say it in front of my mother, that would have been even more disastrous."
"Did she leave?" Sirius questioned, watching as she gave a nod of her head.
"Just a little while ago. Called me a few things, claimed she was disappointed in my choices, and that when I was ready I could come back to my real home where they would help me get back on the right path."
"And I thought my mother was terrible," Sirius scoffed, " your mother and mother could be best friends. They would probably love to have tea together. How's James?"
"I don't know," she replied, being as honest as possible, " he handled my mother well. Basically told her off when she had the audacity to bring Lily up as if she had any right to do so. He didn't falter and he said all of these wonderful things. And thenn...oh, I don't want to talk about this with you. It's like you talking about my brother with me."
She could see Sirius' eyes widen as he didn't need much further of a hint to see what she was aiming at. After all, his mind was usually in the gutter, it was easy for him to pick up when things were getting dirty.
"You two were-"
"No, I mean, yes, but...no," she stammered as Harry started playing with her hair. " I thought we were and then I reacted to the wedding ring and I think I might have pushed him too far. I don't know. I'm not good at these things, I'm not exactly experienced..."
A blush took to her cheeks and Sirius knew what that meant too. "So you're actually a...a virgin? Really?"
"I'm not sure whether to be flattered or offended by your tone of surprise," Renata said," but yes I am."
"I meant nothing against it, I was just surprised, considering you and your brother are gorgeous specimens. I just wrongfully assumed that James wouldn't be the first to try and pursue...that-"
"Well, I've been on dates, but I've been more than reserved when it comes to that."
"And the wedding ring bothered you-"
"It shouldn't bother me, I know," she replied with a sigh, " I can just feel it and even if it's not on his left hand, it still feels like...I don't know that I'm with a married man. It feels odd, I can't describe it and I know it just makes me sound incredibly silly but-"
"You don't sound silly at all, Renata," Sirius told her, " you sound like a person, who would react how a lot of other people would. I can imagine that it does probably come across as awkward to you-"
"Yes, but I can't just tell James to take it off that would be horrible of me...I just don't know what to do."
"Have you actually spoken to him about it?"
"I mean, he's aware of it, but no we haven't really discussed it. What is there to discuss? It's his wedding ring. That's solely his decision to make whether it stays on or comes off. If he wants to wear it for the rest of his life, he is in his right to do so."
"Even when he marries you?"