Hide and seek was no longer a game to be played.
It was Friday night.
Skiving from school had been the best idea I'd ever had. I couldn't face Kieran, not after Sophia confiding so ruthlessly in me. So my solution? Bury myself under a mountainous duvet and curl up with steaming cup of sweet tea.
Before Kieran arrived we were sent to get ready, under the non negotiable orders of Mother. I'd been thrown in the shower first, Mum knowing I'd be through the quickest. Jackson, who smelt like fermented milk, went in after me having been lectured by Mum first. He wasn't to set a foot outside the door until he smelt tolerable.
We never usually went out to fancy restaurants so I didn't have anything to wear for the occasion. When Mum had said "nothing fancy" she'd told a little white lie. The restaurant was extremely extravagant from what I'd gathered. It explained Mum's fussing.
After flinging the entire contents of my wardrobe across my room I settled on something I could only describe as adequate. I settled on a red corseted blouse that had once belonged to Beth. She had insisted I have it and at least my cast didn't stand out against the startling rouge fabric.
I brushed myself down with my unbroken arm, making sure I was presentable, not that I should care what Kieran thought.
When the buzzer went I almost shed my skin. He was early. Mum was in the shower, Ross was getting changed and Jackson was generally useless. That left me.
Standing in front of the door, between entrance or denial made my head spin. I licked my lips. My hand reached for the button and then recoiled. I looked up the hall and licked my lips once more. The buzzer rang again, making me start.
"Let him in Chris!" Mum goaded, strolling casually through the hall in a revealing towel. She sidled into her bedroom leaving me with only one option. I pressed the entrance button and then waited for Kieran to knock on our door. I shuddered, my nerves getting the better of me. The dreaded knock came and I opened the door.
He was dressed in black trousers, a black shirt and an indigo tie. His indigo eyes were bright in the twilight of the flat stairwell, though fragmented through his dark hair. I was unable to breath for a second and forgot to ask him in.
But oh how I wanted to.
"Kieran!" A shout came from behind me. Jackson came charging down the hall and budged me out the way. "Let him in Chris! Sometimes you can be so weird," Jackson complained. I dropped my hand down and shrugged back into the shadow of the door. Somehow having the door between us made me feel safer. Kieran glided in and I remained in the shadow of the door behind him. Silently, I closed it and exhaled to calm my sudden nerves.
"I'll be right out Kieran," Mum called from her room. I was actually feeling shy so I let Jackson play host to our honoured guest. Ross appeared out of his and Mum's room wearing his best shirt and trousers.
"Alright Kieran?" He was fiddling intently with his cufflinks. I needed an excuse to not look at Kieran and Ross had provided the perfect alibi.
"Let me," I said, rushing to help. Ross was startled but relented. I hid self consciously behind my hair. I had felt Kieran's electrifying chill as I'd found myself brushing his side.
"I'm well Mr Evans, how are you?" I could feel him looking at me, the icy sensation bursting through me. I flinched. I wasn't yet sure if he knew what his glare did to me. Ross noticed me recoiling.
"Just call me Ross and yeah I-Chris, you all right?"
"Yeah, just a bit chilly that's all." I finished fastening his cufflinks and was stuck for something to do that wouldn't involve talking to Kieran or making eye contact.
"Would you like a drink before we leave Kieran?" Ross asked, going through to the kitchen.
"No, I'm fine thank you." He was still staring at me. The chills kept coming, like bullets. I went through to my bedroom, the only place he wouldn't be allowed into without my say so. I adjusted my hair into a messy pony tail and then sprayed myself with perfume.
Calm down Evans. He's only a boy; a boy you want nothing to do with.
"Come and see my card collection Kieran, I nearly have the whole of the Scottish football team. Not to brag but some guys in my year at school would kill for a collection like this." I could picture Jackson yanking on Kieran's arm impatiently. Knowing Kieran, he would have obliged my brother's every whim.
"We don't have time Jack we have to get to the restaurant; we've made reservations for six thirty. Ross, dear, have you called a taxi yet?" Mum's was pacing the flat in her best heels. I could tell by the noise they were making.
"Yes Vanessa they'll be here any minute," Ross called, from the kitchen before trudging in his polished shoes into the hall.
"Well come on then, let's go down and meet the taxi," Mum said, ordering us all out. I pulled on a little black cardigan to keep me warm. The sleeve slipped over my red cast and camouflaged it into nonexistence.
"Chris, come on or we'll leave without you!" Mum shouted. Checking for any emergency texts from Beth I chucked down my phone; no point in taking it with no credit on it.
Deciding I was fit to be seen I dashed out of my room and ran straight into something solid.
"Sorry, I didn't see you there," I gasped, peering up into his calm indigo eyes. Somehow standing so close to him made me feel safer than the door between us had. My hands rested on his chest, framing his tie.
"Glad I could catch you," he breathed gently, my face an apparent puzzle. I removed myself from his space, clearing my throat and headed for the door. I paused. I could at least be courteous for the duration of the evening.
"Are you coming?" I was half way out the door but from there I could feel the relief roll from him. He strode confidently out past me before stopping to wait for me to lock up. His fingers briefly touched my waist as we scollided within the small patch of landing. I felt the butterflies awaken within me. This was not the time to get hormonal.
The restaurant was posh; it appeared my assumptions have been correct. We were shown to a table and handed a selection of menus. I sat opposite Kieran and every so often we'd catch each other's eyes, unsure whether to be happy we had. This was not detaching myself from the situation.
"So Kieran what do your parents do?" Ross asked after we'd ordered. I groaned. Kieran was only to happy to oblidge.
"I'm fostered and my foster father, Vince, works in law and life insurance." Kieran smirked. Was that a joke? "He's away most of the time to places like America, Australia, and France and so on," Kieran replied, sitting quite comfortably in the midst of my nosy family.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Mum continued, sipping her glass of wine. Indigo didn't have brothers and sisters. Indigo had minions.
"I have several foster brothers and sisters actually. There's Sophia who is my twin and is getting along well with Chris's friends as I understand it. Sophia and I were both adopted, our parents died a while ago you could say." Kieran paused to allow Mum and Ross to smother him with condolences. "Then there's Mack," he continued, "who Vince adopted about nine years ago in Inverness."
"Nine years ago? How old is Vince?" Mum almost demanded. I fiddled with my shirt, trying to distract myself from the trauma of my mother
"He's forty, so he wasn't exactly my age when he adopted Mack," Kieran argued.
"What about you're other siblings?" Ross pressed.
"There's also Jessica and Michael. Jessica is Irish and Michael, like my foster father, is American. Michael and Jessica met up in an exchange programme and Vince adopted them one after the other. They're like an old married couple." Another secretive snigger from Kieran. He was annoyingly convincing.
"Finally there's Andrea, she's never been able to talk. At a young age she was dumped on Vince's doorstep, all blue eyes and blonde curls. There was a note explaining who she was and her nationality and that she had problems with speech but that was all. She's mute, exceedingly bright and the apple of Vince's eye. "
"Still, how tragic that is." Ross placed his napkin on his lap. "You have a large family then, I suppose that has been some consolation for your loss," Ross said as the meals arrived. Jackson, who hadn't contributed to the conversation, dug straight into his dish.
"Yeah, I guess it does in a way it make up for having no blood family but Sophia. Having each other has made us stronger," Kieran commented while spearing the food. I had to give him credit, if I'd have been asked so many questions I would have probably told them to get stuffed and leave me alone. He was here to be praised, not questioned.
"So where abouts in Edinburgh are you living?" Ross persisted between forkfuls of food. I turned to look at Kieran, his composure almost intimidating. Sophia hadn't mentioned anything about where she and Kieran lived but lairs were often secret, weren't they?
"We're not actually living in Edinburgh; we're about ten minutes outside of it. Do you know Carberry Hill?"
"Yes, I used to go up there as a boy, not been in a good old while come to think of it."
"Well up there there's an old gate, down which you follow a lane of trees and I live at the end. The property has enough rooms for everyone in our family, plus the garden's big enough to please Andrea. She prefers the outdoors."
It sounded idyllic, not dark and broken as I had imagined.
"Scotland isn't the best place for gardening, I can tell you." Mum laughed taking another healthy gulp of wine. My mother arranged flowers, she didn't grow them so I wanted to question what she could possibly know about it. But then, that would have been making a scene.
"Tell me about it, Andrea is determined to preen her garden every day, she wouldn't neglect a detail. It's like her best friend," Kieran confessed, continuing with his meal until scraping his plate clean. I was startled he'd managed to consume his food so quickly whilst being bombarded with questions.
"Enough about me though. What about you? When did you two meet?" he finally asked, turning the tables and addressing my parents.
I felt like curling up in a ball and disappearing into the ground. The conversation that ensued was so embarrassing to listen to that even Jackson started retching. At one point Mum and Ross started holding hands and I was certain I was going to lose my dinner. When the slightest notion of kissing was made evident I was up and excusing myself. Gagging all the way to the toilets hadn't exactly been the highlight of the evening.
"So how did Chris come along then?" Kieran asked after Ross and Mum had stopped making a spectacle of themselves and I had returned, ashen, from the bathroom. Mum shuffled in her seat uneasily, hand unclasped from Ross's. Jackson peered at me and Mum in equal uneasiness.
"Well Chris was sort of an accident, not that I'm not happy to have her now. It's kind of complicated." The fact that she thought of me as an "accident" was explaination for our sparse relationship. She'd gone a bright shade of scarlet whereas I had taken to finding nothing more interesting than the floor.
The rest of the meal was testing. I spent most of it staring at the tablecloth. At least Kieran might understand, might be one of the only people who would not question my relationship with my mother now he had witnessed it. Then again, I was supposed to be distancing myself from Indigo Boy, not wishing to depend on him.
Kieran joined us in the taxi on the way back to our flat but insisted on leaving us afterwards. Ross offered him a drink but his foster father was apparently waiting for him at the end of the street so he kindly refused. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd just wanted to get shot of us. I would if I was him.
"Well thanks again for saving Chris; she'd still be in that hospital if it wasn't for you." Ross reminded him as he made his way out of the door. He shook Kieran's hand heartily and patted him on the back.
"Come back anytime." Mum giggled before disappearing off into her room. I clasped my hand over my face. Trust her to get tipsy; it was all the expensive wine she wasn't used to. I managed an apologetic glance at Kieran before once more becoming pokerfaced.
"It was seriously nothing; I'd do it again but thank you for your invitation Mr Evans. I was honoured to join you and your family for dinner tonight," Kieran said as if he'd only lent me spare change for the bus. Ross peered between Kieran and I and nodded affirmingly before backing away.
"What time do you want picked up tomorrow?" Kieran asked as Ross retired to the sitting room. Jackson had shuffled to his room in a daze having almost fallen asleep in the taxi on the way home. Kieran and I were very much alone.
"Would eleven be OK?" My fingers massaged the hems of my sleeves, clammy on the thin material. My lack of eye contact troubled him; it was clear in the uncomfortable pause.
"Eleven's perfect." he agreed.
"Are you sure you're still OK about tomorrow?" I leant against the door, now watching him carefully. "I mean you'd be waiting outside for a long time."
"I'll bring a book or something." The prospect of time alone with me seemed to liberate him from uncertainty. And suddenly a burning in my chest yearned for something, someone I was close enough to have. Or was it heartburn?
"Well I'll see you...tomorrow then," I said.
We stood, together, in the doorway. I could feel the tremulous caress of his breath on my face. His indigo eyes carried mine. I placed my hands behind my back and held the door frame. Occupying my hands left me with nothing to reach for him with – that was good.
His snarls of hair brushed across my brow as his head angled. Indigo was so cautious. I waited not knowing myself. What did I really want? I was mystified by the indecisive mess of my mind. Indigo's hand reached up and tucked a stray hair behind my ear.
"Until tomorrow." Kieran kissed my cheek softly, allowing himself the pleasure to linger. I allowed my eyes to flicker closed, webs of mist and the images of waves taking flight in my mind. Eyes illuminated by the moonlight broke the surface of the dark waters.
I gasped.
I opened my eyes, hoping to see those once shining in the moonlight.
But Kieran was gone.
~*~*~*~
I am such a sucker for romance. Still, what does tomorrow bring for Chris and Kieran? I wonder.
Anyhow, commenting, conversing and voting is much loved and appreciated.
Bekah x