I have loved you since we were 18
Long before we both thought the same thing
To be loved and to be in love
All I could do is say that these arms were made for holding you
I wanna love like you made me feel when we were 18
"You have no idea how happy you made me,"
I watched as Harry took my hand that was sitting on my lap as he puts it on his mouth and slightly kisses it. Giving him a slight smile, he kept my hand intertwined with his as he other hand was on the steering wheel.
He focused his eyes on the road as I glanced at him. He's been nothing but sweet to me ever since I agreed to give him another chance yesterday.
In fact, we are driving downtown to the place we used to go before. Going down memory lane isn't an enticing idea for me. To be honest, I didn't want to do it but I do not want to give Harry the idea that I didn't want to be with him. It'll ruin my plan. It will end the game.
My mother has so many questions as regards with me hanging out with Harry Styles again. But I appreciate how she chose not to voice them out. Today is my last day in Wake Forest. Tomorrow I will be driving back to Manhattan using the car service I rented. I can't wait to be home.
I'm still not sure what to do with Harry. I never planned being on this game with him nor I never planned on even stumbling upon him. But him, being his usual persistent self gave me an idea on why not seek revenge from what he did to me in high school.
Telling myself that I can also play that simple game with him. Make him fall for me and crush him in the process. Just like in high school. Break his heart into tiny little pieces. Just like in high school.
"Tell me what's on your mind," he says after a while.
Glancing at him, I shook my head. "Nothing much," I replied. "I am leaving tomorrow,"
His grip on my hand became tighter. "We'll make it through this," he said with assurance. "I promised."
Harry stopped in front of our old high school. Memories of the prom night immediately came crashing back to me. My breathing started to go harder as he got of off his car.
"Are you alright?" He asks once he opened the passenger door. He must've seen the anxiety on my face.
Taking a deep breath I nodded. I cannot show him that I am not comfortable cause he knows I forgot about everything that happened in the past.
"Y-yeah," I answered trying to hide the worry on my face.
Now, I regret agreeing on this driving saga with him. I got off of his car and took a deep sighed as my feet surfaced on the ground.
Feeling his hand at the small of my back, we walked inside the school hall, my breathing became harder and my stomach tightened with every step I take.
The view of the locker area made me remember that 'infamous' kiss where I jumped both feet to be in a relationship with him. This is the place where I threw away all my fears just to be with Harry Styles. That very day, never have I ever imagined that I'll get my heart broken together with my bones. The way his words telling me he was crazy about me is still fresh on my mind and I believed him, at that very moment, I became the happiest girl in the world. All those questions about not being good enough for him and that I am not deserving of him were all gone the moment his lips touches mine. I fucking believed everything he told me. Only for me to find out later that everything was just a lie. None of it were true and it was all part of a fucking game. A fucking bet which took the best of me and almost took the life of me.
"Are you alright?"
The bell rang the moment Harry asked his question. I blinked my almost tears away. Seven years later, I still couldn't help but cry whenever I remember everything that happened to me. I knew that walking down memory lane is definitely a bad idea.
"What are we doing here again?" I asked back as students started walking to the locker area.
Harry smiled and pulled me out of the locker areas as soon as the students started going out of their respective classes.
I didn't understand what he is trying to tell me all I know is that this place makes me nauseous. He walked me towards the tutor center. Additional memories crept into my mind. This is the place where he insisted that K should tutor him since we are friends. This is the same place where he told me he likes me.
This is the place where I started having my dream of teaching. This was where I first felt the satisfaction of helping someone who gets to ace their classes.
"What are we doing here?" I asked with a little irritation on my tone.
He took my hand and continue to pulled me inside the tutor center. He slightly knocked on the door and a black haired woman who has her back on us turned around. My eyes widened as I saw a familiar place. It was Hailee Steinfield, my co-tutor from high school. She was wearing a black short sleeve dress that reaches just above her knee. She looks magnificent and her features matured a little. Non the less she still looks beautiful as before.
"Hailee?" I called her.
Hailee Steinfield is the closest female classmate I have in high school. We were both part of the tutor volunteers of the school. The cheerleaders and the jocks hated me for a reason I never knew but Hailee didn't. We were never the best of friends since she had her own little world but we were civil.
Her eyes widened. It must been a shock to her that I was standing in front of her with Harry Styles.
"Taylor Swift? Is that you?"
We ran towards each other and shared a tight hug which took a little longer for us to part.
"Wow! You, you looked different," she says after a while.
Giving her a slight smile I nodded. I like that I look different. I want the people who knew me before forget the person that I used to be. I want them to remember the new me. Forget the nerd that I used to be and welcomed the beautiful, brave and wise woman I am today.
Harry gave Hailee and I a moment to talk. He told us that he will walk around the campus as Hailee and I stayed at the tutor center.
"So, you teach here, huh?" I asked her as I looked around the place.
Still can remember every corner of this room. Although there were changes on the furniture and colour of the walls, the smell and the ambiance remained he same. This is the only place in this whole campus that I was 100% comfortable with.
"Yeah, for more than a year now," she answered. "After I graduated in Duke, I came back to town, just as the same time that there was an opening here so I decided to grab the opportunity." She smiled. "I never really thought that I'll be back here, you know,"
Nodding at her, I continue to scan the room. My eyes settled on the bookshelf as I saw some of the familiar books we used before.
"So, how about you? Where have you been? Your accident was the talk of the campus, there were rumours about the jocks playing you which somehow confirmed when you suddenly vanished and didn't join our graduation day, I think our batch is the only batch that didn't have their class valedictorian on their graduation day."
I was the class valedictorian. And I wasn't there. My chest hardened. So people talked about the bet. My decision for leaving back then never felt this right. I knew I will never step my foot back in this place in high school because of so much embarrassment for being played on.
"I live in New York now, Manhattan," I told her changing the subject. "I work at an Advertising company and I like it," I tell her. "Are you engaged?" I asked as I glanced on the beautiful rock on her finger.
She smiled at me shyly. "Yeah," she nodded. "With Niall," she followed.
My mouth turned into an O shape. Niall Horan? Hailee is engaged to Niall Horan? The guy that I used to tutor. And the guy who sang a love song for me in front of a huge crowd is now engage to Hailee? Wow! What a coincidence.
"Congratulations!!!" I blurted out.
Couldn't help but think that if I chose Niall seven years ago, maybe things were different. I shook my head. No one can ever compete with the love I've felt for Harry Styles that time.
"So you and Harry Styles huh?" Hailee said after a while.
I glanced at her and it was obvious that there were questions on her face. My eyes kept on wondering around the books on the shelf ignoring whatever questions she might have in mind, although knowing Hailee, she isn't the type of person who pries.
"I can still remember how mad Niall was when the rumors about the jocks playing you flew around the campus," Hailee mumbled. "Niall broke Harry's face in Physics class but Harry didn't throw a single punch, he just took it all in, which gave people the confirmation that they did play you."
Tears built on my eyes after I heard what Hailee said, my heart aches but I appreciate what Niall did. Seven years later and news from the past still gets to me. When will I fucking learn to be numb about this news. Ever since I cam home, all I ever did was relieve the past. Remember all the things that broke me. Things things that pains me and the things that put me through hell.
Hailee and I talked for another hour or so. She told me that Niall is out on tour now and is making it big in the country music with his band. They were good and Niall is a nice person, he deserves everything he has now. He scheduled to be on tour in New York next month and I told Hailee that I might go see him, although, I am damn sure that when I go back to work my schedule will be overloaded with meetings. Never once that I confirmed with Hailee anything that happened in the past. And I appreciate that she got the signal.
"Are you alright?"
Glancing at Harry as he was driving us back home with his Range Rover, I shook my head.
"I'm fine," I replied in a low tone.
Honestly, the visit at our old high school exhaust me physically and emotionally. It brought back so many memories but seeing Hailee made me happy. It wasn't all that bad.
Harry maneuvered to the other side of the of the road going opposite our direction to home.
"Where are we going?" I asked with an obvious worry on my tone.
He reached for my hand and slightly squeezed it and answered me with his signature Harry Styles god damn smile.