FAITH POV: It's been about a week after we came home from our accidents. I'm fine, just a little concussion. Tim on the other hand, has been getting a lot of seizures. Kendricks says that it's a result of the tumor and his stress levels. There's not much we can do to prevent it. He just kind of starts to struggle talking, then hits the ground, shaking uncontrollably. It freaks out the girls, and Tim. I have to remain calm. Kendricks gave me an injection that would help loosen Tim's muscles when he does stiffen up.
Tim's starting to show signs of the mental affects. He's been putting his keys in the fridge, and milk in his medicine cabinet upstairs... I try not to embarrass him over it, because he gets extremely frustrated with himself. He's also gotten lost a record amount of times, to the point that if he doesn't have the GPS, he is not allow to go out without me. It frustrates him. He got lost on the way to drop off the girls at school. They were an hour late. Gracie had to give him directions.
"Honey, do you know where you put my keys?" I ask him, running late to my quarterly meeting. He looks up from his cereal and points to my purse. "Thank you." I say grabbing my bag and heading out the door, giving him a kiss before I leave. I get to the car and dig for my keys, which don't seem to be in there. I throw my purse in through the open window of the car and run back in the house.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks.
"Oh nothing." I say, trying not to embarrass him. I open the fridge, nothing. I open the pantry, nothing.
"Check the dishwasher..." He says with a sad look on his face. I do as he says, and surely enough they are sitting in the silverware section. "Goddammit!" He says smacking the counter.
"It's okay babe." I say, giving him a kiss. He tenses his jaw as I run back out the door, an hour late.
I get home early and exhausted. The girls should be home.
"Honey," I say, calling for Tim who's in our room.
"Yeah?" He says, looking up from his notebook.
"Did you pick up the girls?" I ask.
"It's only 12." He says.
"Baby, it's four." I say. Tim looks around for a clock, then at his watch.
"But I just checked...."
"Honey, I'm telling you it's four o'clock." I say. "I'm going to pick them up now, okay?" I sound frustrated, which is wrong of me. He can't help it.
I pull up to the girl's school and find them sitting in the office.
"Did dad forget?" Gracie asks as we walk to the car.
"It's not his fault honey."
"I know." She says getting in the back seat.
I get home to find Tim sitting on the edge of our bed with his head in his hands. He's mumbling something to himself.
"Tim?" I ask. He ignores me. I go over and put my hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump a bit. "Honey, what's wrong?"
"I can't remember..." He says. He looks like he's been crying.
"Can't remember what?" I ask, sitting down next to him and rubbing his back.
"Their names."
"Whose names?" I ask.
"Those girls." He says. My heart sinks.
"Our daughters?" He nods sadly. My mouth is open from shock, as he starts to cry. I grab his hand. "It's going to be alright honey." I say.
"Gracie, Maggie, Audra." He says.
"Audrey." I correct.
"Dammit." He says, putting his head in his hands again.
"It's okay honey. You got two of them..." I say.
"It's not okay. I'm forgetting my own children's names." He says, looking at me with desperate eyes. "Just kill me now... I don't want the girls to see me like this." My heart sinks.
"It's going to be just fine babe." I say, rubbing his back. He puts his head on my shoulder. I don't know what to do.
The idea of going to work today vexes me. I need to stay home, but I have absolutely no choice. I tell Gracie to keep an eye on Tim to make sure he doesn't do something like leave a burner on. I feel so anxious leaving them. I trust Tim. I really do, but with this tumor and everything...
I have to go downtown to re-record something for the album. Apparently something happened with the vocal that the label did not like. I hate dealing with this business crap at a time like this. I'd much rather be at home than sitting in the studio.
"Okay, try the chorus again. One of the runs went a little off." says one of the label executives who has decided to drop by. My manager rolls his eyes. I do it again, and everyone in the studio smiles.
"Beautiful." Says Gary.
"Better." Says the stubborn executive. Gary crosses his arms, attempting to hold himself back. It makes me laugh a bit. "Okay, that's all we needed." The fact that I drove an hour for ten minutes of work annoys the hell out of me. I walk out of the studio to meet Gary.
"How 'bout we grab lunch?" Gary says. I smile and take up on his offer. He's been like a second father to me. We drive out to a small dinner on the southside that we used to go after gigs early in my career. We always order the same thing, cheeseburger with fries and chocolate milkshakes. I'm blessed that my manager doesn't scold me, but rather, enables me to not diet. "So how's everything at home?" he asks.
"Okay." I say, getting a lump in my throat.
"Faith..." He says, knowing I'm avoiding his question.
"Tim's starting to forget stuff." I say.
"Like what stuff?" He asks, sounding extremely concerned.
"It started with keys, then he started forgetting where he was driving to. A few days ago he forgot to pick up the girls, then when I got home, he had to ask me what their names where." I say. Gary looks disheartened.
"Wow..."
"Yeah. It's killing him. He keeps shaming himself and I just can't stand it. His manager is pretty much canceling everything he has left, because he's worried that he's going to unravel on live TV." I say. Gary nods.
"It's probably better that he stay home with you and the girls anyways." He says.
"I'm not so sure." I say. "Work distracts him from it and makes him feel more useful than when he's at home."
"Yeah, I guess I could see that." Gary says.
"I just don't know what to do, you know? I've never dealt with something like this before."
"Just be patient. Don't make him feel like he's disturbing you. You just have to be there for him, you know?" Gary says. I nod as my phone begins to ring. It's Gracie.
"I have to take this." I say. Gary nods. I answer it at the table, knowing he doesn't like sitting alone. I'm immediately met with crying.
"Momma?" She says.
"What's wrong?" I say, alarmed.
"Dad's having a seizure and I can't find the medicine." She says. I feel faint. I grab my bag and keys and mouth to Gary that we need to go. He puts down cash to cover our meals and tips. Gary gets in the car with me, since his is back at the studio. I begin to speed as I talk to Gracie.
"It's in the medicine cabinet in our room." I say, making sure she wasn't mistaken. I can hear Maggie and Audrey crying to. My hands are shaking on the wheel.
"I know! There wasn't any there." She cries.
"How bad is daddy?" I ask. Gary looks over at me with alarm.
"He's bleeding..." She says. My chest tightens.
"What happened?" I ask. She begins to explain.
"Me and Maggie were looking for him to see if he wanted to play outside with us, and we walked into your room and saw that he wasn't in bed. But then we heard him. He must've fallen out and hit his head on the nightstand." She says. Tears start to roll down my face as I pull over to think.
"Baby, call 9-1-1 on daddy's cell phone, okay? Hand the phone to Maggie." I say. She does as I say and puts Maggie on the phone. She's crying even harder. "Shhhh, honey. It's okay." I say. I turn the car around and head towards the hospital. We are about ten minutes away from the hospital, and forty-five minutes away from the house. There's no way we could make it back in time. I get an idea. "Gary, give me your phone." I say. He hands it over without hesitation. I dial Betty's number. She should be just down the street.
"Hello?"
"Betty, Tim's having a seizure. I'm not home, but the girls are. He hit his head and I don't know how bad it is... but please can you go at least take care of the girls? Gracie's calling 9-1-1." I say quickly. Betty says sure and quickly hangs up to go. I pull into the hospital and wait. I can't do anything till they get here...