Two weeks have passed since I last spoke to Sam. I want to call him again, I really do, but I can't muster up the courage to press his number. If he really wants to talk to me, he'll call anyway. In the meantime, I've been sticking with Castiel and Crowley. Nothing has changed; I still want Crowley's head on a stick, and I still think Cas is a cool dude.
Well, one thing has changed. Remember those powers Chuck was telling me about? The kind that let me see Lucifer when he was possessing Cas? Well those powers have been sort of malfunctioning lately. It's just little things, like my bike starting up on its own, and the radio turning on in Cas's truck.
That's how it was at first.
"Cas, you want anything?" I ask as I stand in the line at Arby's. Cas and Crowley are going to find a table while I order food for myself. I insisted that we pull over so I can eat because I'm so damn hungry. Obviously, Cas and Crowley don't eat but they stopped anyway.
"No, thank you," he tells me as he walks away to find a table. I scoff and order him a milkshake.
"Here, you'll like it," I say as I sit down across from the boys. I place my tray of food in front of me and slide the milkshake over to Cas. He furrows his eyebrows at me. "It's a milkshake." I explain, then begin to eat my own food.
"This is a waste of time," Crowley tells me through gritted teeth.
"Why?" I ask, biting into a salty French fry. "I mean, Rowena sent Lucifer to the bottom of the freaking ocean. Until there's a sign of him anywhere, I say we chill."
After eating a few fries, I begin to feel weird. An all too familiar feeling shoots up my spine and then back down. I clench my fingers into fists and close my eyes.
"Bailey," Castiel says quietly, but I hardly hear him as I try to keep my cool. I open my eyes but keep them aimed downwards. I see the floor under the table and my boots, and they are all tinted over with a bright blue.
"What are you doing?" Crowley hisses at me. "Stop that."
Frustrated that I'm not able to control it right away, I get up from the table, breathing heavily and storm out of the restaurant.
I hear Crowley say something to Cas along the lines of "Get her back... that's an asset we can't afford to lose."
I don't stop walking until I'm around the back of the restaurant. I press my back against the wall and sink down until I'm in a sitting position. I put my head in my hands and try to get a grip on the power, but it seems difficult.
The longer I'm consumed by the power, the more frustrated I become with myself. My eyes burn with frustrated tears so I cover them with my hands.
I can sort of hear Cas approaching me but I don't look up. Honestly I don't want him to see me like this. I hear him stop right in front of me and open my eyes just enough to make out his feet and the bottom of his legs.
"Please just go away," I say. But he doesn't do that. He places two fingers on the side of my head and uses his angel powers on me.
My mind floods with wonderful and calming memories, some of them consisting of myself riding in the back of the Impala across the country with Sam and Dean.
Some others include my brother and his kids. One of the new ones consists of me singing along to the music in Cas's truck.
The memories stop coming back to me too soon. Cas is pulling his hand away from me when I finally open my eyes and look up at him. "Thank you," I say, wiping my face. Cas knew what he was doing: those memories were calming me down.
Cas sits down next to me, right against the back of the Arby's. This surprises me, but I don't say anything about it. I just relax against the wall, a little exhausted from crying before. I lean my head against Cas's shoulder. He tenses up unexpectedly but then relaxes.
"I miss Sam," I say, resting my hands on my knees. It feels good to say that. I mean, it feels crappy to say that too, because I've been missing the younger Winchester something awful these past few days.
"So, why did you leave?" Cas asks curiously. I sigh.
"Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should stick around and screw up their life."
•••
The next day starts off on a bad note. When I wake up in the motel room I'm sleeping in, I check my phone and see a missed call. There's a message telling me that an old acquaintance passed away. His name was Asa Fox.
I met this guy a long while ago. Maybe eight or nine years now. He had a lot of facial hair, but soft eyes. He was real nice when we were working together.
The news of his death saddens me. He was a good hunter, which makes me wonder when my time will be up, and how I'm gonna go.
I tell Cas and Crowley I need a couple days to drive up to Canada for the wake. Cas understands obviously, but Crowley gives me this annoyed look like he couldn't care less.
The drive up to Canada, a little place called Emerson specifically, is long, but driving my bike is a stress killer, so I don't really mind. I just have to dress warm because it's a little colder that far up north.
Asa's house is nice and big. I remember it from those years ago. I get there in the afternoon and park my bike in the driveway along with some other hunters' vehicles that are already there. I talked to some old friends of mine who said they were coming too, actually they were the ones that informed me of Asa's death.
I put my helmet on my bike handle and take the keys out before getting out and walking up to the door. I don't bother knocking, I know there are a lot of people here and they invited me anyway.
I've been to a few hunter gatherings in my time, so I kind of know what to expect. There is rock music playing on speakers and there are hunters standing around laughing and bullshitting and drinking, most of them with a beer in their hand.
"Bailey," a slightly aged woman's voice says as she notices me. Her hair is really short, and she is wearing large round glasses. I smile at her. "Thanks for coming. I know you like to stay busy."
"Of course," I respond nicely. This is Asa's mother. "How are you holding up, Loraine?" I say, pulling away and noticing she has a drink in her hand.
"Well, it's a house full of loud, drunk hunters," she says, and her voice is slightly slurring, she's probably already a little drunk. It's not even dark yet. "And my son's dead body is in the parlor," I look down, feeling sad about Asa and sympathy towards his mother. "But I haven't slit my wrists yet." She raises her glass, smiling a little. "Small victories."
"Bailey!" Someone else comes up to me. I turn and see Alicia and Max Banes, the twins coming up to me with little smiles on their faces. These are the dudes that called me, we've run into each other many times over the years and I'm glad to call them my friends.
"I'll talk to you later," I say softly to Loraine. She waves me off and I go over to sit on the couch with Alicia and Max.
"So how've things been?" Alicia starts, slightly excited to see me. I always have the wackiest stories to tell them whenever we see each other.
But what can I tell them? I can't tell them about Lucifer or Crowley, or the fact that I've been working with Crowley. I certainly can't tell them about my powers. That only leaves one thing.
"Well..." I start. "I met a guy," I say, smiling a little.
"What? No way," Alicia and Max both say shaking their heads. After all these years they've known me I've never been remotely interested in romantic relationships so this will probably be a good story for them.
"Yes," I say nodding.
"Wait, for real?" Max says, getting serious. "You're actually... attracted to someone?"
"So attracted," I say, scrunching my eyebrows together like I'm talking about some delicious food. I don't know if I should be talking about Sam to them, but I'm not mentioning his name, so where's the harm?
"Okay, what's he like?" Alicia asks.
"Oh, wow," I say leaning forward. I guess I didn't expect them to ask that. But why wouldn't they? "I don't know, he's uh, tall, real smart, and he's got this hair that's like, not long but not short, y'know?" I say.
"Kind of like that guy?" Max says gesturing towards the door. I turn and my face drops when I see Sam, Dean, and Jody standing near the door talking to Loraine. I turn my face away quickly before they can notice me.
"Oh man," I curse under my breath. "I'll catch up with you dudes later." I nudge Max in the shoulder with my fist as I get up and walk away from the room, anywhere away from Sam and Dean. I really don't want to talk to them now.
I push the door open and step into the kitchen, seeing some guys I recognize and some people I don't recognize.
"Hey, Bailey!" One dude says from his seat at the table. I smile a little, knowing him as Randy Bull. There's these other dudes around him, one of them is Bucky Sims, and the other is Elvis. I don't know his last name though. "It's been so long, why don't you sit down?" Randy urges. I don't even want to be in this house anymore with the risk of Sam and Dean walking into this room, but I don't want to seem rude or anything so I pull out a chair and sit next to Randy. I met him around the same time I met Asa.
"How's it going?" Randy asks.
"Alright. It just sucks about Asa, you know?" He nods a little, acknowledging what I said. This little hunters gathering seems to be like the other ones I've been too; no one really seems sad. Everyone is drunk and no one is even thinking about Asa.
A moment later I hear Dean walk in the room, well I hear him talking to Bucky about the beer. Maybe if I sit really still he won't see me...
"I'm Bucky Sims," he introduces himself.
"Randy Bull," Randy says, "Ah, watch out for the horns right?" He puts his fingers up by his temples to illustrate the fake horns. "And this is Bailey Mitchell."
I breath in before looking to Dean. When he notices me, he tries to keep the smile on his face because of the other dudes, but I can see in his eyes that he's pissed at me.
"Yeah, we know each other," I say, getting up and going around the table to get a glass of water.
"Really?"
"Dean Winchester," Dean introduces himself.
"Wait, the Dean Winchester?" Bucky asks.
"Aren't you dead, like four times?" Randy adds.
Dean smiles a little proudly. "Yeah, it didn't take." I take this opportunity to push the door open, leaving the kitchen with my glass of water. I frown at the sight in the other room. Max and Alicia are still sitting on the couch, but now Sam is on the chair right next to them, talking to them. I furrow my eyebrows in disgust seeing Elvis sitting on the armrest of the couch, talking to Sam. And Sam doesn't exactly look comfortable with the conversation.
Elvis is such a talker. He invades your privacy and asks you all kinds of personal questions. I can't imagine what he's asking Sam right now.
I take a sip of water and sigh. "I just can't get two seconds, can I?"
I then walk over, making sure Sam doesn't notice me. Alicia notices me and rolls her eyes a little, probably about Elvis. I nod, giving her the look that says I'll take care of him.
"Like, Lucifer, the big bad devil, and you lived?" Elvis is saying when I'm approach.
I grab onto the back of his shirt, a little more roughly than I should probably.
"Hey buddy," I say, faking a smile. Honestly I hate that he's invading Sam's privacy. Sam shouldn't be uncomfortable.
"Hey," he responds, probably a little curious as to why I'm holding his shirt.
"Whatcha doing?" I ask him.
"Uh, I was just asking Sam Winchester about Lucifer," Elvis tells me, he sounds excited about it. "He was possessed by the devil, did you know that?"
I furrow my eyebrows, feeling my blood boil a little. "Mm-hmm," I hum. "You know, I was just outside and saw this guy screwing with your car. He seemed pretty pissed at you for some reason."
"What?!" He gets up from the armrest alarmed. His car is important to him, I remember from when what Randy told me.
"Yeah, you should go take care of that," I say, practically shoving him away.
"Uh, I'll be right back, okay?" He says looking at Sam. "I want to talk some more about this."
"No, you really don't," I say, kind of joking, but I know I have that death glare in my eyes as he walks away without another word.
Alicia and Max laugh a little.
"You looked like you were going to kill him," Alicia says.
"Yeah well, next time," I say, crossing my fingers and taking a drink of water. I move around the couch so I can sit by Max, so I'm as far away from Sam as I can get.
"That was awesome," Max says, laughing a little. "Bailey this is Sam Winchester."
"Yeah, we kind of... already know each other," Sam tells them. He looks at me, and the two of us are just looking at each other for a good five seconds.
"Oh!" Alicia says. She probably remembers what I told her earlier and put the pieces together. "Max, I think I need another beer, why don't you come with me?" Alicia stands up and practically drags her twin brother up with her.
"But I just sat down!" Max whines.
"Come on," Alicia says, dragging him away from us.
"I'm actually going to get a refill too," I say, getting up with my half empty glass of water and walking away.
"Wait, Bailey," Sam stops me, getting up as well. "Can we talk?"
•••
We walk through the hallway, trying to get away from all the noise and the people. I'm pretty uncomfortable right now, but I don't want to say that. Honestly, I'm feeling so many things right now. I'm so happy to see Sam and I'm nervous about what he wants to talk about.
"Uh, thanks," he says a little awkwardly.
"For what?" I say, still holding my water glass.
"Getting rid of that guy," Sam says, gesturing back to the other room. "Uh, Elvis?"
"Yeah," I say. "He doesn't know how to stay out of other people's business. You just gotta know how to handle those types."
"Well, you handled it pretty well," Sam says, then he gestures to an empty room. I nod and we go inside. I don't feel weird when he closes the door. I know nothing will happen, we're not even in that place.
"Why are you guys here? Did you know Asa?" I ask, curious as I'm looking around the room, trying to subtly avoid Sam.
"No actually we came with Jody," Sam explains. I nod, remembering seeing her at the door.
"Right," I say, clicking my fingers. "I remember them having a thing a while ago." Sam raises his eyebrows in shock.
"Seriously?" He asks. "Jody and... and Asa?" I scoff rolling my eyes.
"You wouldn't believe the half of it," I say and he laughs a little.
"It's good to see you again," Sam says. I hate feeling like this around Sam. He can easily make me feel nervous and embarrassed, and I don't know how to handle the situation. I hate know knowing how to handle a situation, that might be the thing I hate most in the world. Not being in control.
"Yeah," I mumble.
"I mean, you look—" Sam begins, gesturing with his hands.
"No, don't," I say, shaking my head a little. I know what he was going to say though. I don't want to hear it now though. My powers have been going all over the place recently, I don't want to have an incident hear because Sam is complimenting me on my looks.
And I know I look better than I have in a while. No, I'm not losing weight or anything, but I cut my hair a little, so it's just a little longer than Sam's, and I'm dressing a little differently too. The clothes I'm wearing now fit me better than how I dressed a year ago.
"I'm just here for Asa," I say.
Sam nods, I can tell he's a little hurt that I don't want to talk to him now. "How'd you know him?" He asks.
"Eight or nine years ago?" I say, racking my brain as I walk around the room, waving my hands a little. "There was a werewolf in Maine. I met him on the case and we worked together. A few times after that too. Also in Maine. He was great. It sucks about his death. Makes you think though."
"About what?" Sam asks.
"You know, you guys are pretty famous around here," I say, "so am I." I grin. "But Asa was too. If he can get killed that easy, who's to say it won't happen to us?"
I put my hands together, looking away from Sam.
"There's something else, isn't there?" Sam correctly assumes. I guess he figures there's not many times when he sees me all fidgety and nervous like this.
"No, just stresses of the job," I shake my head. "I'll get over it."
I put my hands on my hips and stare at the wall, some of the articles from hunts Asa had hung on the wall.
"Hey," Sam says softly and he's suddenly behind me. He turns me towards him and then he hugs me. I put my arms around his shoulders, closing my eyes and feel better instantly. I didn't even realize I was tearing up.
He didn't pester me for what's wrong. He's just there to help me when I need it. Kind of like how I was a few minutes ago, with Elvis. I helped him when he needed it, kind of.
"Thank you," I say, still hugging him. He doesn't make any move to pull away, just tightens his arms around my back. Now, I know I'm a tough person. Every once in a while things get hard, but I'm always tough. I can take care of myself. But standing here with Sam's strong arms wrapped around me makes me wonder if I do need someone sometimes.