Chapter Thirty Nine
"It Was Planned."
“Justin, can you please talk to me?”
Opening up the door to the bedroom, I watched him completely run around as he ferociously threw random pieces of clothing into the suitcase. I couldn’t feel more broken as I witnessed my husband on such a rampage. I just wish he would tell me how he felt instead of keeping his feelings bottled up inside of him. If he let me know how he felt, I think he’d feel a lot better.
I stood there in the doorway as he tossed things to the side of him but decided to grab onto his fists once he chucked the suitcase to the other side of the room.
“Hey!” I shrieked, trying anything possible to get him to look at me. “Justin let’s just talk about this before we freak out, alright?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” He spat back at me. “We just need to pack.”
Honestly, I was so tired of him not telling me how he felt. You’d think that the longer we dated the more he’d be apt to confide in me but that wasn’t the case at all. Instead I just felt like his feelings got more and more secretive because he didn’t want to make me upset. For the first time in this relationship I was going to stand up for myself.
“Stop.” The tone of my voice was more than serious, causing him to stop his rampage and finally turn to look at me. “You can’t just go on a rampage and have a temper tantrum when you haven’t told me how you feel. We’re married now Justin and marriage means opening yourself up to one another. I know that this is a bullshit situation and I know you’re pissed off, but you can’t close me out when things get bad. That’s how marriages end.”
Holding my breath once the words left my mouth, I just watched him collapse onto the floor and start to cry. I don’t mean sniffles; I mean loud and hard sobs. He sobbed until he started to not be able to breathe, making me sink to my knees beside him and hold him in my arms. I hated that he had to get to this point but it’s healthy to cry and this man needed it. He needed to cry and let his emotions out to someone who cared about him.
“You’re okay.” I soothed. “It’s going to be okay Justin.”
He buried his face into my bathrobe and continued to let the sobs escape his mouth until they were coming out as more of a dry heave. I didn’t think he could cry anymore until once again, more tears fell onto his cheeks and then fell onto the bareness of his chest. It was completely heartbreaking to see him like this.
“I-I h-hate my life.” He stuttered. “I fucked up and I made everyone in this world hate me. They can’t stand me baby, they can’t stand me. No matter what good I do or how much money I give, it’ll never be enough. In their eyes I’ll always be the good for nothing teenager. I don’t tell you how I feel because like you said that one night back in the car, what’s the point? There’s nothing I can do to change it so there’s no point in complaining about it. But my house? Our house? We were supposed to raise Isabelle there. W-we were supposed-“
Breaking down once more, he sobbed into my chest and all I could do was just hold him close to me and try to let him know that everything would be okay. I don’t know how I can help him or how I can try to make things better except be there.
“But baby please don’t be mad at me. I can’t have you be mad at me right now I just can’t.”
“I’m not.” I replied, the tears falling onto my cheeks as well. “ Justin I’m not mad at you. This is exactly what you needed. You needed to let it all out and just get frustrated. You’re allowed to be sad baby, everyone is. But just know that no matter how much society may not like you, I will always love you. Like I said before, it doesn’t matter where we are, just as long as I have you with me right by my side I am the happiest I ever will be. For better or for worse, right?”
Silently nodding his head, his breathing started to slow down and he finally let out a sigh of relief once he was finished crying and rested his head on my shoulder.
“Let’s finish packing and then we’ll go back to LA.” I said. “This has been the best honeymoon ever, even if it was only for three days and I mean that. I have never had more fun with you than I have these past couple of days.”
Nodding his head in agreement, I wiped away the tears that were underneath his eyes and went over to the other side of the room where my suitcase was previously thrown before placing the numerous amounts of clothing that Justin had bought me back into it.
-------
Jeremy wasn’t kidding when he told Justin there was nothing left. As we stood on the sidewalk in front of where the house used to be, you couldn’t see a single thing. The only thing you were able to see was pile of debris from everything that had burned. It was the most gut-wrenching feeling I’ve ever had to experience. All of our memories here just vanished like the speed of light. It was like I never got to say goodbye to it as stupid as that sounded.
The police were still at the scene when we got there, making Justin even more pissed off. He didn’t exactly have a good relationship with them but hopefully he wouldn’t be a complete ass to them and make them not want to help us.
“Good evening Mr. Bieber.” The policeman stuck out their hands to Justin and I, which we gladly returned, and looked back at the house.
“We’re waiting to get the video tape from the security company so we can see exactly who did this but it was completely unexpected sir, nobody saw it coming.”
“There was nothing that you could have done.” He responded. “I’m used to it by now.”
Shocked at how good he was being with the police, I entwined my fingers with his and gave the policemen a shy smile. I wanted to see exactly who did this so I could get an explanation from them and try to talk some sense into them. They were the stupidest people in my opinion, not to mention the rudest.
I ducked underneath the yellow caution tape and carefully walked around the debris to see if there was anything that we could possibly salvage but to my surprise, literally everything was burned to crisps. All I could see was broken glass and pictures that once used to be colorful and recognizable, burned to pieces. All I could think about was how much I wish we could have this house back. I know I said I didn’t like it here, but I honestly did love this house.
“Pretty shitty, huh?” Justin walked up next to me and the only thing that I felt like doing was hugging him. The thing I’m most thankful about was that neither of us were here when this happened and that we were both safe and alive.
“Yeah.” I muttered into the fabric of his shirt. “It’s so sad Justin.”
Holding me in his arms for a couple more minutes, he kissed the top of my head and held me at arms length.
“On another note, you liked the idea of moving to Canada right?”
A huge smile came across my face once the words left his mouth, making me feel like I was completely on cloud nine. Was he being serious right now?
“Of course. Where will we live though?”
“We can build our own house.” He replied. “We can create it exactly the way we want it. It’ll be perfect for us and for Isabelle I promise.” He placed his hands over my stomach and rubbed in gentle circles as he looked around at the mess in front of us. It was more devastating than anything. Just the fact that our clothes and all of our personal items were in there was the worst part. Thankfully I had brought my locket with me.
It wasn’t until we were about to head back to the policemen until I spotted a piece of yellow paper that was taped to a brick beside another broken piece of glass.
“Wait what’s this?” I picked up the brick that it was taped to and once I read the words my heart almost exploded into my chest, all sense of feeling that I’ve ever known completely leaving me.
“It won’t be long before you’re gone.”
“What the fuck is that?” Justin snatched it out of my hands and read it for himself before his jaw clenched and unclenched multiple times as if he was thinking of what to do.
“Justin who the hell would write something like that? Are we being watched or something?”
I looked around us at all of the neighborhood homes and suddenly for the first time felt like I was unsafe. Who the hell did this and what did they want with either of us?
“Baby I don’t know but I promise you I’m going to find out.”
Walking back over to the policemen, he placed the brick on top of the hood of their car and pointed at it.
“This wasn’t an accident, it was planned.” He said.
The bigger policeman who looked like he ate one too many donuts read the piece of paper and nodded his head before retrieving a plastic bag and placing it inside of it.
“We’ll take this back to the station for testing.” He replied. “But the security company actually just sent us the footage now so if you don’t mind, we’re going to take a look at it. You don’t have to watch if you don’t want to.”
“Oh trust me, we do.” I laughed in disbelief and peeked over Justin’s shoulder at the laptop that was sitting on the hood.
As the video was being downloaded, I couldn’t help but begin to wonder who on earth would want to do something so horrid? Do people honestly hate Justin that much that they would try to destroy everything he’s ever worked for? It just seemed so wrong.
The policeman brought up the video after it finished and fast forwarded to the correct time. What was most shocking though was that there was actually a person that had started the fire. I thought by some miracle that it was all just an accident and that we wouldn’t see anybody but right there, on the screen, a figure dressed in a black hoody had a gasoline bucket in one hand and a lighter in the other. This person must have known the code to get into the community although I suppose it wouldn’t be hard to do that seems how you could just watch someone punch it in.
“Does this face look familiar?”
He zoomed in so that the image could become clearer but I almost had to do a double take once I saw who was holding the gasoline tank. This must be some mistake or some joke or something, right?
“Are we on Punk’d?”
I honestly looked around for any cameras in some sort of hope that this was all just pretend and that it wasn’t real but when Justin put his arm around my waist I realized that this was reality and the face that I was staring at was Carina’s.
A/N: WELP. THERE YOU HAVE IT. PLOT TWIST OR NAH?
I know most of you (probably all of you) are so confused right now but trust me when I say things will be explained in the next book which, by the way, the first chapter is already posted. I wasn't going to make y'all wait that long.
I just wanna say thank you SO much for supporting this story. I can't thank you enough for supporting my work and dealing with my annoying tendencies to say i'll update but then keep updating because i get too excited over my own shit.
But believe me when I said Fifty Shades Of Us is going to be one thousand times better. I honestly thought after writing this one that there's nothing that could top it but Fifty Shades Of Us is by far the best work I have ever done and although it is very VERY sad I hope you all will enjoy it as much as I have writing it so far.
Thank you again for the fanmail. Your letters and your home made stuff, the artwork, ugh it's so incredible and I will always be forever grateful and so humbled to call you guys my readers. I love you guys so much and thank you for allowing me to pursue my dream of writing. It honestly means the world to me.
Oh.. and P.S. thank you to everyone who was just on twitter a couple of moments ago and stayed with me to wait for this update from all of the bullshit games my wifi tried to play. IS IT MAD OR NAH? IT IS.
I hope you continue to stick around on Tuesday for the next book! I'm always afraid you guys will stop reading lmao.
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