After being kept in the dark of what was taking place inside the Ward, Renata was becoming slightly impatient as she wished either Remus or Sirius would come out into the corridors and just tell her if James was alright. She had practically already chewed down her thumbnail on one hand and was definitely about to start working on the other. Harry was growing bored, no longer entertained by what was taking place outside the window, he wanted to move around, but she couldn't have him wander around St Mungo's. Some mornings were busier than others as Adelmo often claimed and it definitely seemed that morning that they were awfully busy with witches and wizards coming in, left and right.
Not wanting to be in anyone's way, the two of them stood off to the side, but occasionally, Harry would tug at Renata's hand while looking up at her. Whenever she peered down at him, he could give the request to play, which she would attempt to do something small for his amusement but it was never enough. A hospital wasn't fun for any adults, but it was like pure torture for a child to spend a long time there.
"It's alright, Harry," she said, crouching down to Harry's eye level, " they shouldn't be much longer. Perhaps after this, we'll head to the park for a little bit, would you like that? You'll get to stretch those little legs of yours."
She gave one of his little calf muscles a small squeeze that brought Harry to giggle as he nodded his head at the idea of going to the park. Of course, he continued to look in the direction of the Ward, and while Renata assumed he was looking for James, that might have been giving the little boy too much credit. Instead, he had seen the little blonde haired boy disappear that way after the older woman he was with had pulled him along.
It was another child his age and seeing as he had so much fun with Ron the other day, he didn't see why he couldn't go off and have fun with that child as well. However, as many times as he tried to pull Renata in that direction, she refused to head over there and Harry didn't understand why. But fate decided to act on some kindness as the doors to the Ward opened and Remus returned with a small smile on his face.
Immediately, Renata stood straight up, holding a hopeful look on her expression as Remus approached them.
"Well, there's good news," Remus said as he threw his hands into the pocket of his trousers, " they're going to let James come home today."
"That's fantastic news!" Renata exclaimed as she clapped her hands together, bringing Harry to follow her actions, thinking they were about to play another game.
"However," Remus added, his voice growing quieter, " they don't want him to be alone. Especially with Harry with him. He didn't enter one of those trances again while under observation, but they can't be sure if it was a one-time thing or not. They think that in itself can be a hazard to, not only James but Harry as well."
"I could understand that," Renata nodded her head, " so is there a plan or-"
She could see that Remus was looking at her as if she was the answer to all the problems in the world, leaving her to abruptly stop talking for the time being. She could see the direction of where the conversation was about to go and Remus looked positively nervous about how she was going to react. With a hard swallow, Renata glanced around for a second, rubbing her own hands together nervously before reaching out and grabbing Harry's hand before he got any ideas to dart off and find something fun to do.
"You all want me to stay with him?"
"Not all the time," Remus quickly reassured her, " I promise you it wouldn't be an all-day event, I would come around when I could and...Sirius would too. We would be there to help, it's just helping with Harry will definitely keep James' stress levels low and that's what the Healers are suggesting. To keep James' stress levels as low as physically possible."
Maybe there was part of her that wanted to say "no," part of her that wanted to say that they were asking so much of her in such a short frame of time, without giving her much of a chance to think things over. But as soon as Renata peered down at Harry and saw him looking back up at her with his tiny-toothy grin, her decision was already made.
Clearing her throat, Renata returned her gaze to Remus and offered a small smile in his direction, a sign that she was okay with the situation for the time being.
"Can Harry go see him now?"
"Yes, of course, of course," Remus said, extended his arm in the direction of the Ward and inviting them to finally enter, " come this way."
The Janus Thickey Ward attempted to be as inviting as possible to those that came to visit their loved ones that resided there, more often, permanently. There were individual beds, most of them lined up with a window, and privacy curtains that were all pulled back for the time being unless someone wished to pull them over. There were decorations on the walls near each resident bed, pictures or drawings brought in by visitors or perhaps anything that the person found comforting to them at the time.
And as cheery as they tried to make it, Renata certainly didn't feel very cheerful as she entered with Harry. Immediately, she felt overwhelmed by the high emotions that were attempting to be concealed around the area. People that were visiting their loved ones, all of them, forcing smiles on their faces, trying to show the people they cared about that everything was fine when in reality it wasn't.
Feeling an onset of a strong headache, Renata attempted to mind her own business and look away, but Harry pulled her in a different direction shortly after they made their way inside. He had spotted the little blonde boy from earlier and all he wanted to do was play as he continued to pull on Renata's hand. However, this was one of the rare occasion where Renata didn't think it was the best time to let go of Harry so he could pursue his wishes.
In the distance, the little blonde boy was propped up in front of a bed, where a young, round-faced witch was occupying the space. Every so often, the boy would reach out with his short arms and call out to her and it was what he called out that broke Renata's heart, right then and there.
"Mummy!"
No matter how many times the boy called for her and kept his arms out towards her, the woman didn't respond, too preoccupied with a small sweet wrapper in her hand that she was holding up towards her window to capture the light. The older woman that Renata had witnessed before continued to try and get the younger woman to pay attention to the boy, but it didn't seem to be working at all.
"Alice, please, look over here, dear," she pleaded, " Neville has come to say hello to you. He's here to visit. Alice...Alice! Put the wrapper down and focus-"
A Healer made their way over as they overheard the upset tone that carried from their area. They had to remind the older woman that "Alice" did not understand what was being asked of her, nor did she remember who they were. It was not her fault that she didn't respond to Neville at the time. They addressed her as Mrs Longbottom, a tall and thin witch, that carried such a powerful and expressive looks on her face.
If it hadn't been for the heartbreaking moment that she had just witnessed, Renata would have found herself all too distracted by the idea of Mrs Longbottom's hat, which appeared to hold a stuffed vulture on the top of it. Paired with a bright red handbag that was settled by the side of the bed, she was quite the statement walking around. But the hat seemed to do more than just attract Renata's attention, as another patient seemed to make his way over.
Renata was about to assume that it was just one of the other patients, curiously coming over to investigate until Neville piped up again.
"Daddy!"
As if she had not been stabbed enough in the chest by Neville's interaction with his mother, for Renata to learn that the boy had both of his parents in the Ward, she didn't know what to make of that. It grew worse that neither one of them seemed to hold an interest in their own son as Neville continued to call out to them and hold out his hands. They would perhaps glance his way, but then become distracted by something else.
She had to look away or she was going to find herself in tears within just a few seconds. Already, she could feel Neville's confusion and his pain, wondering why his parents wouldn't pay him any mind as much as he called out for them. Renata figured it was more than difficult for him to understand and he probably wouldn't be able to grasp the concept until he was much older.
For now, he was going to be tortured with the idea that his parents were right there, but in their eyes, he was invisible.
And while his parents couldn't really see him, Harry saw him, and while he didn't understand what was taking place, Renata didn't think it was that bad of an idea for Neville to have a distraction. Harry didn't seem interested in seeing James as he pulled in the opposite direction of where his father was, sitting with his uncles on the opposite side. Renata assumed there wouldn't be much harm in letting Harry interact with Neville while they were both there.
"Do you mind?" Renata asked Mrs Longbottom as they approached, bringing the older woman to look up abruptly at the foreign accent that was speaking to her.
"Excuse me?"
"I was wondering if Harry and Neville here could play with one another while they were both here," Renata said, " the atmosphere is a bit heavy for little ones."
"This is not a playground-" Mrs Longbottom informed Renata, but she wasn't about to back down either.
"Nor is it a place for children," Renata said, " they don't understand what is taking place around them at this age. But they have already found comfort in each other, look."
She pointed in the direction as she had kept Mrs Longbottom distracted long enough that Harry was able to grab Neville's hand and pull him away. The two boys had found an empty bed and were looking out one of the windows. Harry was pointing at things to show Neville, while Neville was making the bird noises from earlier. The two were already giggling in hysterics and that seemed to attract the attention of some other patients that wanted to look out their own windows and figure out just what was so funny.
Initially, Mrs Longbottom didn't look all that thrilled that she had been tricked, but to hear her grandson laugh, that proved to be enough that she wasn't going to condemn Renata's actions.
While the boys were occupied with their own entertainment, Mrs Longbottom was able to get a visit in with her son, Frank, and Renata gave them their privacy as she finally made her way over to where James was sitting and watching Harry and Neville in the distance. As Sirius and Remus were made responsible to watch over the two boys, Renata sat next to James on the bed and peered over at him.
James couldn't bring himself to face Renata right away, feeling too shameful that he had shown how truly pathetic he was. The nightmare he had faced that one evening had been enough to drag him to the darkest part of his mind and he couldn't escape it. He assumed that Renata was just sitting there, believing that he was more than unfit to be a parent.
"Harry is incredible at making friends," she said suddenly, bringing him to look over at her with a bewildered expression, " I wish I could have had his skills back when I was younger. I always tried so hard to make friends even before I started school, but I was terrible at it. Then when I got to school, it was worse. My mother is a strict headmistress, so not too many people wanted to be friends with the evil headmistresses' daughter. Harry's lucky, he's got an amazing personality and he's surrounded by such a relaxed atmosphere with you and his uncles..."
James was confused as to why she wasn't calling him out on his rubbish parenting, but rather complimenting him. She suddenly turned to face him, wearing a small smile on her face.
"You gave us quite the fright the other day, but are you feeling better today, Mr Potter?"
"Yes," he answered. He wasn't feeling a hundred percent better, but at least he was no longer trapped in the darkness of his mind like he had been before. It was absolutely terrifying to hear everyone around him, calling his name, begging for responses, but he couldn't break himself out of the trance to speak. He had been stuck and it was horrible that he had finally snapped out of it, to find himself in St Mungo's.
And not only that, but he found himself in the company of Frank and Alice Longbottom, good friends of his as well as members of the Order. It killed him to see them there as he knew they shouldn't have been there. They should have been home with Neville, not having him come to visit them in the ward. Tortured by Death Eaters under the Cruciatus Curse for hours had caused irreversible damage and they were no longer in their right minds to care for themselves, let alone their son.
"Are you ready to go home?" she continued with her questions, leaving James' hands to become sweaty within seconds as he gave a shrug of his shoulders as his first response.
"I want to go home, but I don't know if it's the best idea, " he admitted, " I don't want something like that to happen again."
"Well, if it does, you certainly won't be alone-"
"About that, Renata," he interjected, " Remus told me the plan you all came up with and I can't ask you to do that. I can't ask you to sacrifice even more of your time just to look after me as well. I asked you to be Harry's nanny initially and you did me the biggest favour by accepting that. Then I asked more of you and you agreed, and now, I'm asking too much-"
"Nonsense, Mr Potter," she said reaching a hand out and patting his leg lightly, " you didn't ask at all. Remus did, and I already agreed to it."
"It's asking too much of you-"
"I can determine what is too much for myself, Mr Potter, " she told him, " and as of right now, I think this will work out just fine. Don't concern yourself with my well-being, just focus on yourself. You'll have me, Remus, and Sirius to be there with you to help."
As much as Renata thought she was helping James feel better about everything, it was only making him feel worse. The fact that he needed three people to look after him so that he didn't manage to ruin things, it left him just feeling worthless. He was a grown man, he should have been able to handle a lot more, not find himself in the hospital, just because he was "under a lot of stress."
"You are incredibly mean to yourself, Mr Potter," Renata said, as she looked forward, "I can feel the anger you hold for yourself under these circumstances and I'll be the first one to tell you that it is highly unfair that you hold yourself in such regards. You are in pain and it is not a crime to have others help you. If anything, you should see this as a reflection of how good you are as a person that so many people are willing to come together and help you. You're going to have to learn that with every negative you come up with, there are two positives waiting just around the corner."
"Well, I haven't seen them," he mumbled quietly.
"You haven't seen them, but have you bothered to look for them? Or have you given all of your attention towards the negatives?"
He remained quiet for a few moments before Renata reached into the pocket of her robes and pulled out a piece of paper.
"Harry made this, I thought you'd want to see it."
James reached out and took the piece of paper, to see that on one side, Harry had used an assortment of colours as he made all sorts of swirls and lines, and then on the other side, he had only used black, forming a heavy and dark blob. However, the colours had started to overpower the darkness on the page.
"It could just be a coincidence of how he coloured the page," Renata said, " but I interpreted differently. Maybe this is his own little way of saying that you can overcome with the darkness. All these colourful lines are the positives in your life, whether they be people or experiences, and look how they overpower the darkness on this page. It's practically drowning it all. Harry can colour it, but you can actually do it, Mr Potter. You could bring your son's art to life.
James continued to stare down at the scribbling drawing, a small smile forming on his face as Renata stood up and came to stand before him, offering her hand to help him stand up.
"So, why don't we get you home so you can get started?"