[Author's Note: So I decided that from now on I'm going to put link to music that helps me into mood as I write every chapter. Feel free to listen to them as you read on. Let me know what you think! Happy Reading]
***
In the moment we’re born, we’re drawn to form a union with others. An abiding drive to connect, to love, to belong. In a perfect union, we find the strength we cannot find in ourselves. But the strength of the union cannot be known until it is tested.
***
The Fellowship rode along with the soldier of Rohan and the Rohirrim Riders on our way to aid Gondor. The ride should take only two days, but it took longer since we had to set up a camp at Dwimorberg mountain, beyond Dunharrow to wait for reinforcements.
Silence and amxiety hung above the air. Only hushed chatters could be heard among the soldiers. They knew that they would be outnumbered by the force from Mordor. The war that we were marching into was suicidal. There were six thousands strong Cavalry army that answered Theoden King’s call, yet we knew Mordor will bring upon us an army ten times than Rohan and Gondor army combined.
The men’s hope were hanging by a thread–a thread that happened to be inspired by Theoden King and Aragorn. Even then I could see that they were burdened with such a weight.
I seek solitary, busying myself with Arod, Legolas’ stallion. The white horse eyed me with curiosity as I came to him, brushing his mane lightly. I had been riding him several times since Edoras, seeing him on my spare time in Helm’s Deep, finding myself bonded with the creature well over the course of weeks. I crouched down, taking some oats that I have brought to feed the beautiful horse. Arod neighed and began eating as I absently looked into his eyes.
The animal had somehow curious and intelligent eyes, but also innocence. There was something deep in the way Arod looked at me.
“Do you ever missed your previous rider?” I asked softly, my heart saddened a bit as I remembered that Arod was previously belonged to a fallen Rohirrim rider before being given by Eomer to us.
As if understanding my question, the animal hung his head low, his behavior seemed to be less cheerful as before. I swallowed thickly, realizing that maybe, just maybe, the horse could really understand me.
“I lost someone too,” I admitted softly, my eyes got misty at the thought of my father. Of Boromir. “And I’m scared of losing more.”
The horse was silent, instead looking at me with a rather saddened look deep from within his dark, russet eyes. I fought back a wave of emotion and closed my eyes, pressing my forehead on the bridge of his nose. I didn’t know how long I stood there, cuddling the horse.
“It never occurs to me that I would ever be jealous with Arod,” said a soft, melodious voice from behind me.
I smiled at hearing the elf’s voice. I planted a small kiss on the horse’s nose, silently thanking the horse for being my silent listener. I released Arod and turned my body to look at the handsome archer, and the moment I did, Legolas already wrapped his arms around my waist.
He smiled down at me, his expression a mixture of serene and a playfulness. I gazed up at him, taking in every inch of his face. His glowing, alabaster skin; his perfectly sculpted jaw and cheekbone; his tempting lips. And most of all, his brilliant blue eyes that were studying me with admiration and curiosity.
The elf’s smile faded a bit the moment his eyes flickered to Arod. A small, almost undetected frown graced his brows before he trained his gaze back to me.
“What have you two been talking about?” he asked. “I can feel that Arod is a little sad,” he said as he brought a hand to brush the horse’ snout comfortingly, “And so are you.”
The elf’s gentle voice brought a smile to my face.
“What is the problem?” he asked again.
“Nothing that you can’t fix,” I said with a smirk, leaning up to plant a kiss on his lips.
The feeling of his lips against mine somehow soothe my rather sore heart. However, several soldiers were approaching near us that Legolas had to pull away and cut short the moment that we had between us. Disappointed, I swallowed and backed away, retreating to busy myself with Arod as I heard soldiers retrieving their horses, muttering their greeting to me and Legolas, who had more courtesy to return their greets. I was silent up until we were left alone again.
“Come with me,” I said from behind my shoulder to Legolas.
“Where?”
I turned to face him and surprised him with a brief but deep kiss. When I pulled away, I was greeted with Legolas’ innocent yet slightly curious look. I smiled.
“We’re sneaking away.”
Legolas narrowed his electric blue eyes at me and tilted his head slightly, a look that would have intimidated people otherwise, but knowing him it was nothing but puzzlement written on his immaculate face.
“Do you ever have a lover before, Legolas?” I asked as I twirled my index finger on the soft, flaxen hair that cascaded down his shoulder.
“Nay,” he answered truthfully.
“This is what lovers do,” I said softly, trying to inflicted some sort of seduction–or at least confidence to him– and failed miserably.
I couldn’t ignore the fear, the oppressing burden that weighed in on me. All I wanted to do was just be with Legolas alone, hoping to escape the world for just a moment. Despite my attempt to sound sexy or alluring, I failed and Legolas saw through me.
In a desperate attempt to cover up for my epic fail, I kissed him again. Without breaking the kiss, I slipped my hands on his chest and pulled him towards me, leading him away from the camp by the collar of his tunic.
Knowing that it was impossible to lead him away and kissing him at the same time, I let go of his lips and intertwined my fingers with him, pulling him away with me.
We walked hand in hand in silence. The sound of the horses and soldiers around the camp slowly began to fade, so was the light from the giant campfire that the Rohan soldiers had started. Lucky for us the light of the half moon was enough to let us see the path we were on.
When I was sure that we were out of possible earshot and prying eyes, I turned around, quickly wrapped my arms around Legolas’ shoulders and pulled him down for a long kiss, drowning the world outside and the heaviness inside me with his lips and his warmth.
Momentarily Legolas was caught of guard by my sudden action, but he was quick to fall on line and kissed me back just with the same fervor.
“You haven’t–“ he kissed me deeply, “–told me why–“ I silenced him with another kiss before pulling away to breathe.
“I want to be alone with you,” I told him before he finished his sentence.
I watched as Legolas face slowly turned into a smile, his eyes slightly darkened yet at the same time still regarding me like I was the only thing that mattered in the world to him– a look that made my heart fluttered.
I slipped my hands down to the collar of his tunic and fisted the soft fabric, pushing him so his back bumped against the tree behind him. He looked at me with a surprise, yet the side of his lips lifted up into a smirk.
“Nobody ever pushes a prince like that and get away with it,” he said in a rather low voice, his tone threatening yet at the same time, playful. I smirked.
“There’s always a first for everything,” I answered, grazing his lips with mine softly, knowing full well to tease him. I leaned in and whispered lowly in his pointy ear, “But if it helps soothe your princely ego, you can punish me for it.”
Legolas’ eyes suddenly softened, a look that I didn’t quite expect from him in response to my beguiling words.
“I would never punish you for anything, melleth nin,” he answered genuinely, almost looking saddened at the idea.
Caught off guard by his response, I let out a soft chuckle. Despite him being an intelligent elf prince, an archer warrior deadly in battle, a prodigy, Legolas was still pretty much possessed a pure, innocent soul that I couldn’t help but adore about him.
I cupped his cheek with my hands, feeling his soft skin on mine. My eyes were transfixed on his handsome face, skin flawless and glowing subtly under the pale moonlight. His flaxen hair soft and lustrous, almost transparent under the nocturnal light. Eyes burned with compassion, loving yet intimidating at the same time– almost like looking directly at the sun. He looked like an ethereal being, a creature that I’d thought would never want anything to do with a wretched being like me.
He was an angel.
I leaned up again, pressing my lips against his soft, warm lips. I felt his arms slowly wrapped safely around my back as we kissed lovingly. At that moment suddenly I felt all my troubles melted away at his touch. For a moment I was at peace and was convinced that everything was alright in the world.
“I need you,” I breathed against his lips, my hands slowly linked themselves behind his neck as I looked up to him.
“I’m right here,” he answered softly.
I couldn’t help but smile at his answer. I thought I had made it pretty clear that by saying that I need him I meant really that I needed him that way. But he didn’t seem to catch on it yet.
“Good.”
I guess I should just show him.
I crushed my lips against his. What had started as a soft, loving kiss soon turned into a passionate, heated one, much like our kiss back in Edoras when Legolas once let a little bit of his control slipped away around me.
Every stroke of his lips, every touch seemed to burn my skin down into my core. But despite the fact, I didn’t have it in me to pull away from him. Instead, I needed to feel more of it. To see where it would lead us. To see how far his kisses and his touch could burn me.
To see if he could destroy me.
I was lost in him. His lips battling against mine, none of us willing to relent. His fingers clutching lightly against the root of my hair; his warm chest against mine as he pressed his arms around my back; his intoxicating masculine smell. All of him was both intoxicating and making me alive at the same time.
Soon my breath came short, so was his, but neither of us was willing to stop our now desperate kisses. I felt his lips demanding, probing mine heatedly, so I parted my lips, gaining him entrance and let him set the pace.
He took my lower lip between his lips and gently pulled at it, earning a soft moan from me which caused me to part my lips further for him. Taking the advantage of it, Legolas inserted his tongue, gently exploring the insides of my lips for the first time.
The action got my head spinning in a dizzying pleasure. In an attempt to airtight the gap between us, I lost my footing thanks to a root sticking up on the ground. I fell back, but Legolas was adamant not to let go of me and used his body instead to shield me from hitting the ground.
I fell on top of him and stared at him, his lips swollen from the kiss and brilliant eyes smoldered as he looked up at me. We smirked at each other. It was not in an elf’s nature to be defeated by gravity, yet here he was, letting me bring him down with me.
We wasted no time in resuming our kiss, letting him explore every inch of my mouth with the teasing lick of his tongue. He brought his hand to the small of my back and hoisted himself up to a sitting position with me on his lap without breaking the kiss.
Taking the initiative, I retracted my hands from his hair and reached between us to the knot on my tunic and began to undo it. When he came to realize what I was doing, he slowed his kisses and caught my hands.
“Stop,” he said breathlessly.
“It’s okay,” I reassured him softly. I brought his hand to the knots on my tunic on my chest, letting him feel the rapid beating of my heart as I silently encouraging him to take over.
He looked at me through his darkened eyes with a slight shock. I could see that he wanted this, yet there was an internal battle going on that I could see in his eyes. I smiled at him encouragingly, yet he remained frozen.
“It’s okay,” I repeated softly, noticing the now slight tinge of pink that had risen from his neck up to his pointy ears. “I’m all yours for the taking,” I whispered.
“I…” he trailed. I placed my hand on his chest, drawing small circles on the exposed skin of his neck as I waited for him. “I can’t. ‘Tis not right.”
“It is right when you love me. And I love you,” I saw his eyes lit up with surprise at the latter sentence.
We sat in silence for far too long to my liking, which was probably just for a few seconds and the elf didn’t even move a finger. I chuckled softly and bit my lip, pecking his lips. I let my lips went off track to his chin, his jaw and down to his neck, earning a sigh from him that made my skin tingle happily. I kissed and lightly nibble at the spot under his pointy ear before slowly taking the soft flesh of his earlobe between my lips and teased it with the tip of my tongue, causing him to moan.
Legolas immediately tensed and quickly pushed me lightly by my shoulders. I looked at him, puzzled. I thought I had him.
“Nay,” he breathed, a confusing look of lust and bewilderment evident in his eyes. I was confused.
“I’m offering myself to you,” I clarified. “All of me.”
I leaned in to him to kiss him again, but this time he stopped me again.
“Nay. Not like this,” he stated with a finality.
And with that, whatever peace I thought I had while being around him, whatever joy and fluttering in my heart were suddenly flying away into the night, leaving me crashing hard with shame and disappointment.
I stared at him in bafflement, but the elf just stared back at me with an impassive expression.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered under my breath.
I removed myself from his lap and began to tie the knots on my tunic back to its place, turning my back on him. I shouldn’t have taken this personally, but I did. I couldn’t help but feeling hurt by his rejection, and suddenly I was not feeling alright again.
It took all of me to fight back the tears, but my quiet intake of air didn’t went unnoticed by the elf’s super hearing.
“Oh no,” he breathed. “Sara, I–“
I looked away, refusing to look at him but he was persistent. He got in front of me and held me firmly with his hands so I opted to look down.
“It’s alright. That was stupid of me.”
“Nay, it is not,” he replied softly, his voice latched with worry and guilt. “I did not mean to hurt your feelings.”
“It’s okay. You don’t want me.”
“That is far from the truth. Look at me, Sara,” he ordered gently. I reluctantly forced myself to do so and looked at him stubbornly in his eyes.
“I do want you. You have no idea,” he said with a sad smile. “But you are vulnerable. If I let myself have you now, it will not be an honorable thing to do. It will not be love. It will be me taking an advantage of you and that is the last thing I want to do to you,” he said solemnly. I frowned.
“I don’t understand. I am not vulnerable in any way. I am not drunk, I am not high on drugs or mushrooms,” I said the latter part with a pathetic, dry chuckle. “I just want to give you myself because I love you,” I said truthfully.
Legolas’ eyes softened, and his smile appeared on his handsome face.
“Do you realize that all this time I kept on saying I love you but you only returned it tonight? Twice now?” he pointed out, seeming pleased with me. I rolled my eyes.
“I thought you know without me having to say it,” I mumbled.
“Still, ‘tis very pleasing to hear you say it.”
I didn’t answer him. I was still feeling hurt that he rejected me like that, making me feel like an idiot who were trying so hard to get into his pants.
“I’m sorry, Sara.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, but don’t make lame excuses like me being vulnerable to reject me,” I replied with a hint of resentment in my voice. “I can always handle the truth.”
“I did not make up that excuse,” Legolas insisted. “You are vulnerable. Your head is not clear.”
“What?”
“Tell me why you want me just now.”
“I asked you a question first.”
“Humor me.”
I rolled my eyes. “Because I want you.”
“Why did you want me that way so suddenly?” he challenged, looking at me with his intimidating, adamant blue eyes.
“I just feel like it,” I replied stubbornly.
“Why do you suddenly feel like it?”
I clenched my jaw. I wanted to retort, to tell him off but I couldn’t under his gaze. That piercing, challenging gaze that was enough to make me snap, but the sadness and the knowing look he had made me broke inside.
“Because I want to get my mind off of things,” I replied, the answer left a sour note in my mouth.
I thought by being honest he’d stop. But he was relentless and kept probing me for more answers.
“You thought being intimate with me will distract you. From what?” he demanded.
“From everything!” I snapped harshly at him, having enough of his probing questions. Realizing that I was taking out my frustration on him, I felt instantly guilty that I wronged him while he was just trying to look out for me. I sent him a remorseful look and found myself hanging by the edge of an imminent mental breakdown–a heap of suppressed emotions that I could no longer hold back.
“I’m just tired of everything, okay?” I said with a cracked voice, feeling my eyes pricked and my face heated up with emotions. “I just want to forget.”
Spiraling down into a living mess that I was, ashamed, I buried my face in my hands just in time when a tear finally escaped my eyes into my shirt. At the same time I felt Legolas pulled me into his chest. He held me tightly, forming a protective barrier between me and the world around me with his warmth, for once letting my frustrations and fear got the better of me.
***
I sat on the ground with my back rested on Legolas’ chest, his arms wrapped around my stomach from behind. Our hands caressed each other’s, no words were said for a long time as we soaked on each other’s presence. We let silence stretched between us for a long time, but the way we clung tightly to each other let us know that it was all alright between us.
“I’m sorry for taking it all out on you,” I began, turning my head to look at him. “And thank you for being here for me. I want you to know that I really appreciate it. And I love you for that.”
He smiled at me.
“Whatever it takes to hear you say you love me again.”
“You want me to cry like a baby again?”
Legolas chuckled at this and tightened his arms around me briefly before planting a kiss on the side of my head. I smiled.
“Nay. Unless you feel like it, I won’t judge,” he joked, earning a raspy chuckle from me. “I hate seeing you being miserable. But I hate it more that you go through all of it alone. I’d rather be there for you.”
I hummed.
“Why is it so hard for you to just tell me what you feel?”
It took me a moment to answer as I ponder his question.
“I don’t know. I guess I haven’t much practice with people,” I reasoned. “I lived in isolation for about a decade, remember?” I mused.
“It sounds lonely.”
“It is,” I admitted, brushing his hand on mine while I looked faraway to nothing in particular.
Now that the crying had stopped and that I had probably dried the last moisture out of my tear ducts, I felt somehow tired and depleted out of energy. In that light, I was more than happy to lean back against Legolas and lay my head in his shoulder.
“Remind me to help you to re learn how express your feelings in the correct and healthy way next time,” teased Legolas. I smiled.
“My ways were effective enough. They were either by having sex with you or by listening to your encouraging, inspirational words. Either works for me.”
Legolas chuckled at this, kissing my cheek playfully–noisily in response, drawing another giggle from me.
“You are quite a seductress. I almost give in to you had it not for the look in your eyes.”
“What look?”
“The lost look,” he answered, “Like a cute, seductive puppy would look like when it lost its way home.”
I elbowed him lightly, causing him to fake a groan. I rolled my eyes.
“You know even if you take advantage of that puppy, the puppy wouldn’t mind,” I quipped. “The puppy trusts you.”
“It wouldn’t be right,” he said with an amused smile. “If someone is lost, you should show them the way, not mislead it even further.”
I turned my head to my side to peck his lips, a kiss that he returned happily.
“You’re too good for me,” I said.
“Aye. Of course I am,” he said teasingly. I rolled my eyes playfully at him, to which he grinned boyishly at me.
“Though I meant everything that I said,” I added, turning slightly to be face to face with the handsome elf. “I was yours for the taking. All of me,” I shrugged. “Shame you didn’t take it when you had the chance.”
Legolas chuckled deeply, pressing a kiss on my shoulder.
“I was tempted to,” he replied. “But do you really mean it though? About giving all of you to me?”
“Yes.”
“Regardless everything? No matter what?”
I nodded.
Legolas tightened his grip around me and planted small kisses all over the side of my face. I smiled before capturing his lips with mine.
“Then promise to marry me.”
I blinked in surprise, my smile suddenly dropped at that. “What?”
“Marry me,” he repeated, and my heart skipped a beat.
“Are you proposing me?” I asked in disbelief.
“Aye.”
I was at loss for words. I was caught of guard by his proposal, and to be frank with myself, scared given the timing and everything. On the other hand, I was elated. I was happy. The thought of spending the rest of my life with Legolas, regardless the difference that we had, it felt somehow right. So right.
“Well, do not look too excited about it,” he chuckled nervously, “I do not mean marry me now, but maybe later, if you want, after we take back our world.”
“Legolas...”
“I want you to know that I also want to give myself to you. All of me,” he said with a soft smile, bringing my hand up to his lips and kissed it, “This is how I do it. By committing myself fully to you. In every way possible.”
My heart melted from the words that rolled beautifully out of his mouth. I couldn’t believe my ears that I took too long to answer him.
“What say you?”
I smiled at him. “Are you sure you’re not being… vulnerable?” I teased him.
“I am vulnerable. I have been ever since I lay my eyes on you.”
“Smooth.”
Legolas grinned.
“That is an acceptable kind of vulnerability in this case.”
“I thought elf warriors are supposed to be all tough and not showing any kind of vulnerability?” I teased him again.
“Aye,” he answered, then pulling off his best cheeky face at me, “But we are also sensitive.”
I giggled at that, and it took me a while to cease my giggling fit at Legolas’ rather smooth, witty comeback. He on the other hand, kept looking at me with an amused smile and a look of anticipation with a hint of anxiety in his eyes. Eventually I stopped my giggling and looked him in the eyes.
“Yes,” I breathed happily.
“Yes?” he asked back, his eyes lit up, reflecting the stars at the night sky above us. I nodded enthusiastically.
“So we have a deal,” he said all businesslike, clearly trying hard to suppress his excitement, making me chuckle. “You’re going to be mine after the war.”
“Yes, we have a deal.”
He stuck out his hand to me and I gave his mine as he gently shook my hand. We locked eyes, and without letting go of my hand, he smiled attractively and gazed at me with an overwhelming amount of happiness and hope.
“Then let’s seal this deal with a kiss,” he suggested.
I had made a lot of deals in my life. Most are bad ones, some are terrible beyond words. But this particular deal was going to be forever the best deal I have ever made in my entire existence.
Given the almost unwinnable war ahead of us, I knew that I shouldn't have hold on to hope. But now, staring at the man–elf that meant the world to me, I couldn't help but holding on to the hope that shone from his eyes.
I wrapped an arm behind his neck and pressed our lips together in a deep, loving kiss.
A perfect kiss to seal a perfect deal.
***
[Author’s Note: Well, don’t be too surprised, dearie! I might not be Rumplestiltskin but who can refuse to make such a sweet deal? Let me know what you think of the chapter in the comments below and don’t hesitate to hit that ⭐ button of you love the proposal! See you on the next chapter, sexy, smoking hot readers! (Idk why my reader got more and more sexy with time. You guys just are 💞)]