I hate when reality kicks in. It just reminds you of how hurt you are and how many scars you got for trying too hard. It just smashes my imaginary world of happiness. - Bela
Lyla
Yesterday was a blur. A scary, unreal blur.
Azrael had healed me, with kisses. Then he somehow read my mind. Then he said his name is Azrael Dagon. Dagon is the name of one of the fallen angels. Then he hugged my waist in the afternoon which felt so good all my qualms disappeared.
I don't understand what the hell is going on.
How is it physically possible for us to exchange electricity like that?
How did he know I called him otherworldly?
HOW DID HE HEAL MY WOUNDS WITH JUST KISSES?
I need to get out of here. I know he said he wouldn't hurt me and I, for some reason, wholeheartedly believe that, but I need to leave.
Things just keep getting weird.
These things don't have logical explanations and I will be caught dead before I believe Azrael is really the devil.
Either way, my life was in New York. I had my friends there. My job. My home.
I couldn't stay here forever.
But.....why did a small part of me want to stay?
I didn't even know where I am. How would I even escape?
What if I'm in another country all together?
Oh no.
I sat in down in the bed.
I need to think this through.
I can't just leave here without knowing how to leave.
We could be in the middle of nowhere.
Come to think of it...when I was outside, I really didn't see any other buildings.
It was only a long driveway surrounded by forest.
I groaned.
How could I even escape now?
.........
Its been two days since I arrived here.
Since then, I haven't been able to formulate a proper escape plan.
For some reason, I felt drawn to Azrael.
It felt so strange.
I didn't even know this man.
Everything about him was strange.
This..... man could be a murderer. A cannibalistic creep.
I needed to think logically. Even if there was an attraction here, as weird as it is, I need get home.
But, somehow this felt like home.
I shook my head.
No.
Wes and Gen are probably worried sick about me. Gen is most likely blaming her self for this whole ordeal.
I can't stay here.
Why do I need to convince my self? This is what I should want.
I should want to go home.
I blinked back the tears as I stared at my shaking hands.
What's wrong with me?
I've been telling my self all the ways this is bad. And yet here I am, still considering staying.
Wes and Gen deserve to know that I'm well. I have to go home.
I'm going to go back to New York and let everyone know I'm fine. I need to explain what happened.
When everything is settled, and this feeling still persists, I will.....maybe contact Azrael.
I guess I should do this. There isn't much of options.
I slowly got off the bed and went to the bathroom.
After taking a quick shower, I rummaged through the clothes Azrael had bought me.
It was unnecessary and expensive but, I couldn't just throw them away.
It surprised me how fashionable he actually was. Everything he had brought was what I would normally wear.
I picked out some ripped jeans and a flowery crop top. I wanted to wear a jacket but he had bought them a few sizes too big. Which I don't usually mind but it was a hot day.
I threw my hair up in a messy puff and left the room.
I decided to go the same way I went a few days ago. I haven't left my room since.
Maybe he was in the garden. That would be the best place to tell him I need to leave.
He would be calm there.
So I walked down the long hallways and took the turns I remembered.
The hall was surprisingly a bit dark. Even though it was mid day.
Along the hallway were rooms. Each door looked the same and was labeled Guest Room.
I quickly walked pass the one labeled Demon Room. I had no intention of finding out what was in there.
I continued to walk towards the end of the hall.
Then I heard something.
I halted and listened closely.
It was....piano music.
I was a bit confused. All the men I've seen since I've been here are all harden. Their fingers looked so rough.
This piece was soft and delicate.
I know it was coming from one of room but which one.
I slowly walked passed the rooms, listening carefully. I was getting close.
The notes were getting louder.
This piano music was so sad. Full of emotion and passion.
A woman had to be playing this. I knew it.
Maybe she could help me.
Soon, I was at the door where the music was coming from.
Suddenly, I realized, this music could be coming from a phone or radio or a tape.
My hand had paused half way to the door knob.
I could just be getting my self into more trouble.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
I stood there for a minute more. Listening to the beautiful notes.
I simply could not tell if it was prerecorded or live.
I sighed and before I could stop my self, I pushed open the door and went in.
The room was bare, besides the large piano and its accompanied seat.
That's where Azrael was sitting.
His back was turned towards me. I could how skillfully his fingers glided across each key.
The sight, along with the music, was absolutely brilliant.
I would have never guess that....he would be here, playing such fine notes.
Why was the room so bare?
Maybe he liked the echo. The music did sound more enthralling with the echo.
I was captivated by the beautiful, mourning notes. They seemed to speak to my very soul.
It was sad, almost heartbreaking.
Why was he playing such a sad tune? What had happened?
Why did I feel like this song was meant for me?
It sounded so selfish and selfish centered. Of course this isn't for me. This was another man's note written for someone else.
I wanted to hug him.
I know, it sounds so dumb and stupid. But I couldn't help it.
It was this urge to help him. To make him feel better.
Maybe it was the song.
I stared at him as I let the music carry me away.
This was truly beautiful.
He....was truly beautiful.
The song came to an end and Azrael straighten his back and stared before him for the longest of times.
I couldn't understand how a man could look so handsome from his back profile.
It made no sense.
I was busy trying to make logical explanations in my mind that, I didn't realize he had turned to me.
"Lyla? What are you doing here?" He raised his brow in confusion and looked at me
My head snapped up to his eyes. His golden orbs had me frozen.
"Lyla?" He called softly.
His silky voice caressed my very being. He had me speechless.
The way he could affect me with his words and just a simple look, was dangerous.
The way I let him affect me, was dangerous.
He was dangerous.
And he liked it. He liked the way I reacted to such simple things. The way I reacted to him just because it was him.
"Huh?" I answered stupidly.
"I asked you a question." He said. The deep baritone in his voice made me shiver.
What the fuck?
Lyla just tell him what you want and go.
I cleared my throat and looked at the ground. His eyes made it so hard for me to concentrate.
"I was actually looking for you." I told him.
"Why?"
I moved a round a bit. "I was going to the garden. I thought you might be there. But then I heard this song. I just wanted to see who was playing."
He nodded. "Do you know it? The song?"
I nodded. "I used to play."
He looked pleasantly surprised, "Really?"
I nodded again.
I didn't want to tell him about it. Playing the piano wasn't a happy memory for me. I didn't want to tell anyone about it.
He looked at me, curiousity was clear in his eyes, "Won't you tell me about it?" he asked softly.
I shook my head no.
"I came here to talk to you about something." I said before he could interject any further.
He smiled, "What about baby girl?" He asked, looking at me seriously.
How could he say that so seriously?
He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew what that term would do to me.
I hated how my stomach fluttered with butterflies.
A smirk played on his plump lips as he stared me down.
Was this his manipulation tactic because it was working perfectly.
I took a moment to compose my self. I can't let him affect me this way or I'll never leave here.
"I want to go home." I blurted out.
All at once Azrael's smirk turned into a deep frown. His expression was grim.
He looked so....dark.
His gold eyes didn't look safe anymore. I could see his jaw ticking as he clenched his fist tightly.
I swallowed hard.
What had I done?
He glared at me angrily, "What did you just say?" He gritted out. His voice had maintained calm but there was nothing calm about this man.
My eyes darted across the room, looking for a possible escape, other than the door.
There was a window but I knew we were on the 4th floor of this mansion. If I jumped, I would definitely die.
Was it worth a try though?
"Lyla!"
I jumped at his thunderous tone. He was terrifying.
"I'm leaving." I repeated softly, looking at our feet nervously.
Would he kill me now?
"Why?" He asked, in that same calm voice. He took a step towards me.
I took a step back.
What was his intentions? Why is he coming closer?
I could feel the panic starting to rise from my stomach.
"Azrael, I do have a life back in New York. Gen is prolly worried sick. I know for a fact she has the FBI searching for me. I can't just disappear. Everyone thinks I'm dead."
I made frustrated hand gestures while looking at him.
"But I'm not dead. I'm here, alive and well. They need to know that. They deserve to have a relief from all that worrying." I said softly.
I shouldn't have to be pleading my case.
"I'll tell them. You don't need to leave here. I need you here, with me." He snapped, taking a few big steps to close the distance between us.
I looked at him in shock, "Now that's just being plain selfish and that's not fair." I scolded him angrily.
Who the hell did he think he was?!
He narrowed his eyes at me and grabbed me by the shoulders, "Well, I want to be selfish. I can't be pure and selfless like you."
I gasped, "Well, maybe if you thought of someone other than your self, you wouldn't so damn lonely, living such a sad life!" I screamed.
"Maybe I'm lonely because I want to be!" He shouted back.
I exhaled sharply.
I wasn't supposed to shout. It triggered some painful chest pains.
I'm not sure what it is really. I never actually checked it out.
A stabbing pain filled my chest. I fell to my knees in agony.
I clutched my aching chest, struggling to breath as every breath made the pain worst.
Azrael dropped next to me and gripped my shoulders. Tiny sparks ran along my arms.
"What's wrong Lyla?" He asked, frantic.
I swallowed hard and tried to construct a regular breathing pattern.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm my self.
Slowly, the pain died down until I felt normal again.
I breathe a sigh of relief as I got up back, with the help of Azrael.
His arms still lingers on my shoulders as he looks me over worriedly. "What was that?" He asked.
"I'm not sure. It happens everytime I shout or strain my self." I whispered.
He stared at me for the longest of times then pulled me into his arms.
His big hands wrapped around me like a blanket of safety and warmth.
I could hear his heart racing against my ear.
Was he that alarmed?
I sighed into the comfort of his chest.
This wasn't supposed to feel this good.
The sparks ran about all over my body. I just knew he felt them too.
He just had to.
"You should have told me, love." He whispered in my hair.
My breath hitched.
My heart stopped.
My thoughts ran wild.
Did he just call me...Love?
My stomach erupted with butterflies and I just wanted to melt into the ground and disappear.
Why is he doing this to me?
"Why? I didn't think we would be shouting? There wasn't even any reason for that." I replied coldly.
He pulled away suddenly.
I nearly gasped at the sudden movement.
He looked down at me, hurt.
Oh no.
"I see. You're right." He mumbled, looking away.
I slowly moved away from him. He let me go.
He sighed tiredly and tucked his hand in his pockets.
"Well then, I won't hold you against your will. You can leave whenever you feel like. I'll have Moloch arrange the transportation." He whispered.
I couldn't read an emotion on his handsome face. His eyes gave away nothing.
He turned and went back to the piano. He played another song. I didn't know this one but it sounded just as sad as I was feeling.
This is what I fucking wanted. What the hell was I sad about?
"I would like to leave now." I said bluntly.
I quickly turned around and left the room.
It didn't matter. It doesn't matter.
I found Moloch in my room, already waiting for me.
"Are you ready to go?" He asked blankly.
He was always so platonic. I needed that right now.
I smiled at him and nodded.
"Will you be coming back, Ms. Lyla?" He asked politely.
I looked at him, "I don't think so." I told him softly.
And that was the harsh reality. Maybe I had no future here. Maybe this wasn't meant to be. Maybe I'm doing the right thing, and I should never look back.
But I don't know and that's the most fucked thing about this.
The realistic uncertainty.
Chubbyalejandra 💖