The Dinner
Wednesday.
The day of the dinner at Moms. I had called Paio, to see how Mitzuko was. She told me that Tuesday, Mitzuko had finally got up and left the apartment...she also said Mitzuko didn't come home Tuesday night. I was worried...what is this girl getting herself into? But I couldn't worry too hard...Taryn would instantly read it on my face. But how am I supposed to feel? I only had one class today, and I was sitting in it, barely focusing. Where could Mitzuko have gone?
Class was finally over. I called Mitzuko's mom, to see if she had went home...
"No Hayden, I hadn't seen her...I thought she possibly could've gone to Keiko's," she said. I let out a heavy sigh...I did NOT want to go to Whittier to find Mitzuko. The way things ended with Mitzuko, Keiko, and I was ugly as fuck. When I talked to Mitzuko the other night, she said Keiko was still angry with her. But I can't ignore asking Keiko, because I don't want to open up old wounds. So I hopped on the bus, then, boarded the light rail to downtown Minneapolis. I then took the bus to Keiko's, in Whittier. I walked to the garage which her uncle owned, and also, where she worked...when she wasn't going to school for automotive classes and photography. I paused...
There she was-under the hood of a Honda Civic, with her mechanic suit on. The radio on the shelf was blastin some Obie Trice track. Her hair had gotten longer, but it was still bleach blonde, and wrapped in a bandana. She caught sight of me when she rose from fixing on the car. Her grip tightened on the wrench she held in her hand. Keiko still was as beautiful as when I had last seen her in high school. She also was still as angry as when she was in high school. She walked toward me in a furious frenzy. I put my hands up. "I didn't wanna upset you I'm sorry I just came here to find Mitzuko,"
"Why are you here? Didn't Juneau make it clear, that if we ever saw you around here, that we would put a bullet in your brain?!" she growled. I lowered my guard. "I know we hurt you, Keiko...I'm sorry. I took advantage of your feelings. I didn't come here to cause trouble...Mitzuko has been...steadily falling, since this whole incident. I just want to find her...I will never bother you again if you could please tell me where she is,"
Keiko's lips were poking out, as she was trying to fight back her tears. "Fuck you, Hayden...you just don't know...what I had to go to. Fighting all these feelings...and feel like I'd been used. I had to kiss Juneau's ass real bad after that shit,"
"Go ahead. Bust my fucking skull with the wrench. I don't know how to pay you for what I've done to you. I been feeling really bad about a lot of things, lately," I said. At this point I was feeling really fucked up. I'll admit- I had done some fucked up stuff to females (not violent or abusive), and didn't lose a night of sleep. But I didn't mean to hurt Keiko...
Keiko reared back with the wrench and swung. I didn't even flinch. If she takes a chunk out my head and my brain oozes all over the pavement, then I deserve every bit of it, for what I did to her...
But she stopped, short of bashin my shit in. I still didn't flinch. Keiko could see the sincerity of hurt in my eyes. She walked away and put the wrench down. Keiko picked up a cigarette, and lit it...she took a drag, then blowed smoke out. "In fact Mitzuko did come by here yesterday...just like you are here now. She was begging for forgiveness. I told her to go fuck herself"- my eyes enlargened at the revelation of Keiko's sentiment towards her once best friend, and lover. "You know, you two are two fucking peas in a pod, y'know? Just don't give a fuck who you hurt...as long as you get what you want,"
"How can you even say that? I really feel fucked up for what I've done...to you, to Mitzuko. I don't wanna hurt anyone anymore...but the truth is..."
All of a sudden, I felt a blunt blow to the back of my neck. I fell, grasping my neck in agony. I looked up...
Juneau.
"Didn't I tell you I was gonna kill you if you brought your ass back here again, Schaffer?"- he was holding a gun...not sure what kind...everything was starting to get woozy.
Then everything went black.
The Chinese restaurant. That night when Mitzuko had returned from Japan, we celebrated. We sat in a small room at a round table, on pillows. I felt like I was a fucking Arabian Sheik, or something. We laughed about stuff, and took pictures and shit. We were drinking sake, and whylin the fuck out. Mitzuko grabbed her sake cup. "What's the next fucking holiday?"
"What? Mitzuko's cussin?" I asked. Keiko laughed.
"I do lots of stuff...just sometimes mama-san and papa-san don't approve of it," slurred Mitzuko. "I can't wait to graji-ate...I'm gonna leave them and do my own art, and talk to any girl I wanna talk to...you comin wifme too, Hayden,"
"What about me?" asked Keiko. "I love you too, Mitzuko,"- it was funny coz Keiko had a pouty look on her face like she was hurt by Mitzuko's words. I swallowed the sake. "The next holiday is Valentine Day,"
"Fuck Valentimes Day," said Keiko.
"Valentine," I slurred.
"Valentime, turpentime- I don't give a fuck!" sang Keiko, making a face like she was Chris Tucker, or something. I burst out laughing...so did Mitzuko, though I don't think she had a clue of what Keiko and I were laughing about. Then Mitzuko started trying to shush us...but we were still laughing, because she had eaten some rice, and was blowing it out while she was going "shhhhh". Mitzuko waved her arms, like a fluttering duck.
"I'm serious...on Valentimes Day, we should get together...and have a threesome," she slurred. Keiko and I instantly stopped laughing. We could handle our liquor better than Mitzuko, and we looked to each other, thinking about how we had already slept together.
"What?" whined Mitzuko.
"Hayden aint stickin his thing inside of me," sneered Keiko, playing it off. I looked to her, trying to put on a snooty face. "As if-!"
"C'mon! I'm serious...Hayden can watch us do it," said Mitzuko, with a perverted grin on her face. "He can sit and stroky doke to me and you, Keiko...I think that would be so hot,"
A smile came across Keiko's face as she started to warm up to the idea. Mitzuko continued, "And Keiko can rub herself while me and you do it, Hayden. And then we can watch each other do themselves,"
"I hope your dingaling aint teeny tiny, Hayden," said Keiko, once again, playing it off. We laughed...I took a shot back at her. "I hope your cooch don't look like cut up Fancy Feast, or something,"
She screamed, jumping on me as we rolled around. We were too fucking drunk to even fight. I let her hold me down. Keiko looked down at me...our eyes met...if Mitzuko wasn't there, I would've been tearing this girl out of her clothes. Keiko sat up. "Is this how you gonna ride him, Mitzy?"
We laughed. So I guess the plan was on...that night, I got the girls a cab to Mitzuko's, and I caught the bus home. I tried to put on my best sober act until I got upstairs to my room...then I fell the fuck out in the bed... I could imagine, Mitzuko, Keiko, and I on Valentines' Day, in the bed naked...fucking wow.
"Hayden?"
"HAYDEN?"
My eyes opened to a hospital. There stood Gerry, and Paio. I looked around. "Am I dead?"
"No," said Gerry, looking angry. "But Juneau is gonna be. Payback's a mutha fucka," he growled.
"Gerry! Leave it alone," pleaded Paio, trying calm him down, but Gerry knocked her arm away. "How you gonna ask me to calm the FUCK down?! This is my boy- my best friend since second grade! He's like a brother to me! And Juneau tried to kill him over some petty 'fuck' shit?! Screw calming down,"
That is why Gerry calls me "bro"...because we have been that close for all these years...he is an only child, no siblings. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he tells me it sucks. I touched him..."How did I get here?"
Gerry looked away. "Keiko brought you here,"
"She stopped Juneau from shootin you, and brought you here, then called us. When we got here, she left," explained Paio. "She said she was sorry about what Juneau did...gave me a number to give to you,"- Paio passed a sheet of paper to me. I laid back, rolling my eyes...
"Let it go, Gerry. I deserved it after all that I've done," I breathed. "I hurt Keiko...and I stepped all over Juneau's trust. What did you think they were gonna do? Hug me?"
"The doctors said the contusion wasn't serious, so they are gonna release you. But call them if you start feelin woozy...it could be latent symptoms of a concussion," explained Paio. I sat up, as she grabbed her coat. Paio walked to the door. "Oh yeah...Mitzuko showed up at her mother's not long after you called her. She's over there sleep, now. So get you some rest,"
Paio left the room. Gerry looked to me. "You know I can have a squad ready in 10 minutes,"
"Drop it, Gerry...like I said- I deserved it. Besides, you know if something happens to Juneau, he gonna be on the phone callin the rest of the biker crew. I don't want any bloodshed over me. It's over," I said, slowly getting up. Gerry helped me into my coat. We left the hospital, getting into his ride. I looked to him. "Can you do me a fave?"
The fave, was to get one of the athletic staff to take a look at my neck, and massage the pain out of it, so that I would be ready for the dinner tonight. He put this liquid heat stuff on my neck when massaging it...at first it burned like the devil, but after a while it felt good...Gerry said they used that stuff to loosen up cramps during practice, in the summer when most of the team is starting to get back into intensive training.
It seems that the liquid heat stuff did the trick. My neck was feeling better, so I went home and relaxed for a couple hours. My phone rang. It was Taryn...
"Getting ready?"
"Yuh...pick me up in an hour," I gestured. I walked to the closet, and grabbed a nice coat, shirt, striped tie, and tweed slacks. I pulled a pair of nice comfy black socks out of my drawer, my black belt and slippers out of the closet. I jumped in the shower, and took a nice good wash, trying to also lather away the events from earlier today. It was hard...seeing Keiko again, worrying about Mitzuko. I stepped out of the shower, looking at my neck in the full view mirror in my bedroom. The redness was fading away from the area at the back of my neck where Juneau hit me with the gun. I put on my boxer briefs, and socks, then, put on a tee. I then put on my poplin, and buttoned it. I slipped on my tweed slacks, laced my belt through the loops, and slipped into my comfortable Florsheim Noval slippers. I started lacing my tie when my Blackberry rang.
Mitzuko.
I slowly answered the phone.
"Hayden? I'm sorry for what happened today. I'm sorry I made you worry about me. I didn't mean for Juneau to do what he did to you," she squeaked. "Please forgive me,"
"How did you know-?"
"Keiko called. She told me what happened,"-I could hear Mitzuko sniffling, as if she was trying to hold back her tears. "I didn't mean it...I'm sorry, Hayden,"
Uncomfortable silences.
"Ya? Well, what did you expect? For them to hug me, and act like nothing ever happened? I almost ate a bullet for you, Mitzuko. What is in the past, is in the past...get over it," I breathed. "You need help, Mitzuko...why won't you let anyone in?"
"Oh, and I suppose you are the one who is gonna help me? A lot of good that did, Hayden! You left me out here on my own! I ...I"-Mitzuko cut if off right there. I could hear her breathing, and I knew she was crying. "I can't...I can't do this,"
"Mitzuko," I said.
We sat there, not saying anything. Then the doorbell rang. After that, the front door speaker came on. "Hayden, I'm here, honey,"-damn! It was Taryn.
"Go ahead. Taryn's waiting for you. Don't worry about me," she said. My heart started to beat fast...what did she mean by that?
"Go...I'm not gonna do anything stupid, like take my life. I'm at my mother's," she said. "I'm not going home until tomorrow,"
"We need to talk," I said. "Soon,"
"Okay Hayden," Mitzuko said in that frail voice of hers. "You have a good evening, or whatever,"
I hung up, then finished lacing my tie. I grabbed my sportcoat, scarf, and pea coat, rushing down the stairs to the door. I opened the door, to a freezing and angry looking Taryn. "Is this why you and Mitzuko split up? You left her outside freezing?"
Ouch...I deserved that one. I hugged her. "Sorry baby...I had an accident today...hurt my neck. So it took me a lil longer to get dressed,"
"You okay? I mean we can call your mother and cancel, if your neck is still hurting," said Taryn. I shook my head. "I'm good...and besides, Mom went out of her way to cook this dinner...and I'm sure my Dad has scooped her about us even more since he had breakfast with us,"
Taryn laughed. "You have great parents, Hayden,"
I locked the door and used my Blackberry to activate the townhouse alarm. Taryn and I hopped in the car, and headed to Mom's...
The caretakers had helped Mom keep the house in great shape. Plus Dad would come over some weekends if he wasn't busy to help Mom out. I don't get it- I thought their divorcing meant they were done with each other. But it seems Dad spends more time around Mom than he did when he was married to her. Why am I complaining? I should be happy that they are (I guess) "re-connecting" with each other. I don't think I could get used to seeing my Dad with some other woman, and I know my Mom is too proud and dignified, to get with another man. She is Henna Schaffer, proud housewife of the Garrison subdivision, in Lowry Hill East. I used to come home back during high school days and all the non-working housewives would be huddled up at Mom's swapping stories and such. I would hear them comparing notes, and sometimes badmouthing about their husbands. But I would never hear Mom say a bad word about Dad...what could they have went through, to have so much respect for each other, but not enough love? I dunno...the more I think about love, and how it is a strange entity, the more afraid I get. I look at Taryn, and I think how good we would be together...but then I look at Mom and Dad, and I think ...based on the convo Hailee and I had, is that going to be me and Taryn- perfect for each other, but strangers to each other's most intimate thoughts? It seems that is what I'm doing with Taryn...hiding underneath the smoke in the room. And I can't keep living like this...
At least with Mitzuko, she knew me. She could finish a sentence that I started. And when I fell asleep with Mitzuko, she knew that my mind and heart were with her...even more so than with Keiko. I mean I could do the same with Taryn, but the fact of the matter is, at the end of the day...Taryn would never reach me how Mitzuko did...or still does. And that is why I gotta do what I gotta do...
We sat there at the dinner table. Mom wiped her mouth with her napkin...her lipstick was still holding. "So Taryn, what are your plans for Thanksgiving?"
"I'm going home," Taryn announced. "My mother is dying to see me...and I am a little, homesick,"
"Where is home, at?"
"Columbia, Missouri," I answered. My mother's eyebrow rose. "So why would you come to Minnesota, when you could have gotten a degree from Mizzou?"
"Well one- I wanted to have an experience away from home. And two, Minnesota was one of the better schools with a Marketing program. My folks wouldn't let me go to a "party" university...they are serious about my education," Taryn explained.
My mom smiled. "Well I'm glad your parents picked wisely, and I'm glad you are keeping my son on his toes,"
I gave one of those "eh-heh" grins. At that point, I really could've ducked my head under the table. Just great...next, she'll be picking out wedding dresses for Taryn...
Finally dinner ended. We hugged Mom, and made our way to the car. Taryn smiled. "Your mother is sweet,"
"Haaa. Don't let her sink those psychic hooks into you. Back in high school, I could never bring a girl home, talkin about 'this is my girl'...my mother would've had them breaking up with me in three weeks," I laughed. We arrived back at my pad.
Taryn and I went up the stairs. She peeled me out of my shirt, and tee. "Get on the bed,"
Taryn started to massage my neck where the redness was. I "purred", as her hands worked their magic on me...it was soothing as hell. She was kneading all the tenseness out of my back, while sitting on me...and I was enjoying it. She kneeled to my ear. "Relax, Hayden...you are so tense,"-she then took a nibble on my ear. I squirmed...
Taryn's hands kept working...
"Damn, Mitzuko,"
"WHAT?!?"
Oh bloody fucking hell! I screwed up- big time.
Taryn jumped off me, and started grabbing her coat and shoes. I jumped up, and grabbed my hoodie and houseslippers, chasing her downstairs. By the time I hit the front door, Taryn was heading down the steps to her car. I grabbed her. "Taryn, I"-
"What the hell, Hayden?!" screamed Taryn, with tears coming from her eyes. "That is a no-no...a BIG no-no! You don't call your current girl your former girl's name...that makes the current girl wonder,"
"No, Mitzuko and I aren't sleeping together!" I confessed. "It's just that...she's been going through some shits, and I been a little concerned,"- I tried to touch her, but Taryn stepped away. "I understand that you used to have something with her and that you wanna be friends her...I get that. But I'm not digging this moment right here, Hayden. I'm the one here, and you call HER name. Did it matter that I just had dinner with you and your mother?"
"Yes, it mattered," I answered. "Look Taryn, I'm sorry I accidentally called you Mitzuko...the past few days have been a bit stressful for me,"
Taryn gave me a cold piercing stare. "I think you didn't accidentally call the wrong name...I just wasn't the right woman you wanted,"
She walked to her car, got in and sped away, as I yelled her name. My houseslipper came off in the middle of the street, as I'm trying to chase her car. In a rage, I kicked the other one off. "Dammit!" I yelled, as she turned the corner. I stood there, breathing heavily, as some lights came on from the other neighborhood brownstone townhouses, and some people peeped out their window. I walked down the cold ass street, picking up my maligned houseslippers and walking back to my place. I called her several times, but she didn't answer the phone...
"I won't call you anymore...I'll give you space, and you can call me whenever youre not angry anymore," I said solemnly, hanging up. Why is it that you never appreciate what you have, until it is gone? I walked downstairs, and grabbed the rest of the Disaranno leftover from the surprise birthday party weeks ago. I sat on the floor beside the bed, gulping glass after glass...as I started losing consciousness (due to being tired and the alcohol), I heard the Blackberry ringing, but I was too slizzered to answer...
Once again, I blacked out...
CONTINUED