There is a rant below and I would appreciate if you would read that as well. It's a nice support to see people reading this.
5/17/18 7:30am
I never win
—
I was never in love with you because you had no idea
6/30/18 2:35am
I don't think I'll ever be okay with you
I'll never be able to get over you
Is this how it'll be five years from now?
Will I keep looking back into our regrets?
Can I ever be okay with this?
Will I be able to come back and say,
I never loved you anyway?
To me it makes a bit of sense I was never in love with you because if I was 'In love with you' you would share the same feelings but you didn't so I loved you but nothing was returned(so not in love).
And that didn't happen and I know it never will and i think I will get to a point where that can sit right with me and I'll be okay
But for now I'll always regret catching those feelings and basically torturing myself for no reason and causing all of this emotional damage where I don't feel anything anymore as a way to protect myself just in case
But I also don't regret because I learned how deeply I could love someone but also I'm afraid I'll never be able to feel/do that again. Thank you me.