Keith is gone.
I'm now the red paladin of voltron.
But I don't want to be....
I'm not fast or fiery.
not hot headed or strong.
I'm the opposite.
I want blue back.
I don't want this red pile of junk.
But Allura has blue now... i wonder who blue likes best.
Probably Allura.
I'm just lance. Worthless pathetic lance. A boy from cuba.
Shiro is giving out to me more then ever lately. I can barely take it. Allura too even though she has no right to since she can't control blue like I used to.
...
I guess.
Shiro keeps telling me to be more like keith.
Everytime i mess up its just.
'Be more like keith'
'If you were more like keith we would be amazing,lance'
'If you were keith that would have worked'
'Keith is so much better then you are lance'
'Why can't you a just be like keith, lance!?'
'I wish keith would come back'
So maybe I'll take his advise....
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××Lances pov××
I walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table.
I resist the urge to speak biting my tongue until I take blood.
"Pidge. I need you to work on upgrading the castles defenses with hunk. Our last battle hit close" shiro says firmly.
"Rodger that" Pidge says smiling. Hunk nods too.
"Allura can you try to bond better with your lion. Go spend some time alone with it"
She
"Of course shiro. I can understand why I need to. It's kind of difficult to handle" Allura says laughing slightly.
She
Shiro nods and smiles at her.
Then he turns to me.
"Lance I need you to train harder"
I nod tiredly, not having the effort to argue.
Last night I did nothing but train. I didn't even sleep.
"Yes shiro" i mumble looking away.
I want to tell him I already did but... I've got to be more like keith and keith would train...
•••time skip•••
I'm proud of myself.
I haven't slept in a week. I've trained and trained and trained and trained instead. It's kind of fun now. Not sleeping. Because I know it's slowly killing me....
...what was I saying?
Oh yeah!
I haven't talked back when shiro is lecturing me in a week. I'm getting good at letting it kill me from the inside out and not letting it show!
Are you proud of me?
I skip my beauty routine now too. Keith wouldn't do it.
I haven't cracked a joke in a week either. They were awful anyway.
I haven't flirted with Allura either.
I'm starting to feel the old lance shrink back into a cage I've made for him in my mind. I hope he stays in there. As long as I'm like keith everything will be ok.
Who needs the pathetic weak lance who actually showed emotion. Not me! I just let myself slowly die!
Everyone seems happier now that I've shut up.
I'm still finding it difficult to do it but soon it will be second nature. I'll be what they want me to be.
Quiet
•••time skip another week•••
I walk into the kitchen and sit down.
Everyone is eating their food already.
"I need hunk to have food prepared for a long mission and pidge I need you to prepare our lions for it. Add anything you see fit. Allura you keep bonding with your lion" shiro orders.
"Lance. You need to train." Shiro says glaring.
"Yes sir" i say robotically. I scoop up my food goo and leave.
××alluras pov××
At first it was great.
Lance stopped flirting with me and making stupid jokes all the time. He started listening to shiro perfectly. He stopped goofing around.
But then I noticed he stopped sleeping. He has huge deep bags under his eyes.
He stopped talking altogether.
He stopped doing anything but training.
the only words you would hear from him are "yes shiro".
He doesn't smile anymore.
He doesn't have that sparkle in his eye that he used to.
He isn't lance anymore.
××lances pov××
"Hey lance" Allura says to me smiling sweetly.
I nod to her as I pull on my armor.
"I was wondering if you would like to have a spa day with me! Just the two of us" Allura tells me.
I shake my head.
"I need to train" i say mechanically.
"Well why don't you take a break?" She asks me.
I shake my head and walk into the training room to start.
Allura just shakes her head and walks away.
•••time skip•••
[Keith arrives home]
××keiths pov××
"Hey guys" i say getting out of my ship.
Pidge and hunk come running to hug me smiling.
"Keith!" They yell happily.
I smile a little.
"I'm glad you're back keith" shiro says clapping me on the shoulder.
Allura smiles at me.
"Welcome back keith!"
I smile and talk to them catching up a bit before relising something.
"Hey where's lance?" I ask.
Allura winces but the others don't react.
"He's in his room I think" Pidge says dismissively. "What was the blade of marmora like!" Pidge asks excitedly ignoring that lance is missing.
So i ignore her question.
"I need to check on lance"
I walk out of the room and towards lances.
I knock on the door.
"Lance you in there"
I open the door and see lance sitting on his bed staring at his wall.
"Hello keith" he says robotically.
"Lance are you ok? You seem different"
He nods slowly.
I walk over to him and stand in front of him.
He isn't smiling. He isn't blinking. His eyes aren't shining. His skin looks greasy. Black circles are around his eyes.
"You look like shit" i say trying to get some reaction out of him.
He nods.
What the hell is wrong with him
"So why are you staring at a wall?" I ask him.
"Shiro hasn't given me any orders. I need to wait for him to give me a task" he says his voice monotone.
My eyes widen.
"What the hell do you mean"
I notice his arms are thinner and his skin is as pale.
"I need to wait for orders" he says again in the same tone.
"When was the last time you ate? Or slept?!" I ask growing more and more worried.
"I was never ordered to sleep or eat. So I didnt" His voice is flat.
"Jesus christ. What the fuck happened to you?!" I yell.
"I did what they wanted me to do" he answers.
"What?"
"I became who they wanted me to be"
"What the hell or you talking about?!"
"They wanted me to be stronger. They wanted me to to shut up. They wanted me to be more like you. So I did" he says his voice still showing no emotion.
"They wanted me to be quiet".