Chapter Nine
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I wake up to different noises coming from downstairs. What is this one again somebody cannot sleep and enjoy Christmas again.
Just then I hear a knock on my door. Mama walks inside and pulls the duvet off my body.
"If you knew you were going to enter without me asking you to why did you knock?" She just hissed.
"Madam carry that your pancake bumbum off the bed, the whole family is around." I looked at her with a shocked expression. "Aunty Chinenye came with her children too" she continued.
Why? God why? That woman has five children ranging from ages 3-6. The children are a pain in the ass. First a set of twins then triplets.
I swear the thing weak me too
"Chai kedu nsogbu bu ihe ani, okay I've heard I'm coming downstairs let me go and wash my face and brush" I said and shooed Mama out of the room.
I walked downstairs and greeted everyone and made sure to give my cousins the sign that there is plenty gist.
I mean the ones that are my age mates not all those babies o!
"See Chioma of yesterday, ahn ahn you don't remember me" a strange but familiar man asked.
Oga you traveled when I was two how will I remember you?
"Oh I remember" I said and went to the kitchen before he will start asking me questions I can't answer.
"Uncle Chima you're around?" I asked and he simply nodded.
"Chioma I just stopped by to drop you people's gifts and say hi to everyone I have to go now as you can see I was already leaving"
"Haba Uncle you should have stayed small" I said with a pout.
"I know oya take" he brings out a fresh one thousand naira note. "Use it to buy biscuit"
"Ah uncle thank you but you know biscuit is now expensive so maybe you can add small money" I said.
"As if biscuit is not ten naira highest sef it will be hundred naira" he said knowingly.
"Okay o! bye bye I'll talk to you on whatsapp see you later greet Chimamanda for me" I said, he smiled and left.
Money for biscuit ko Money for ice cream ni see free money for credit.
"Chioma so this is where you are, anyway come outside come and help with the cooking. Your aunties and cousins have already started bringing out the ingredients" She said.
"Okay ma let me just go and have my bath"
"No just come outside like that we're using firewood and you know it's going to be hot and everybody will be sweating like Christmas goat talking about goat let me see if they have brought the goat" she said and left.
Looks like we're having a feast. I would have been happy except for the fact that I have to cook.
It has been two hours under the scorching sun and I was currently cutting onions. I hate cutting onions eh I'd rather cut green peas sef.
I starting blinking rapidly and jumping up and down due to the effect of the onions.
"Hey madam sit down there joor because of ordinary onions see your juniors cutting onions they're not jumping but no you must jump biko sit down there and finish that thing I need it" Mum said and I fought the urge to hiss.
If I do that one the whole family will hear how I wanted to kill my mother and she start telling me how she carried me for nine months and all those rubbish.
Mothers and exaggeration go hand in hand.
MOFE.
"Guy our basketball team is on fire there's no way you people can beat us" Tobi said and I just gave him a look start said you're-kidding-me-right.
I'm at my cousin Tobi's house and that's where I was going to spend my Christmas. I'm not that happy but it's better than sitting at home it would be some much fun and we wouldn't miss out and opportunity to annoy Tessy.
"See you guys are good but you can't beat us, don't worry I'll tell the guys to pity you people we won't score too much so keep dreaming" I replied
"Okay when the day comes we'll know" he said and I just shook my head.
I turned on my data and started checking my messages. I opened the messages from my mum then some from one group called 'Class of 19' and a message from Chioma.
I had sent a message to her earlier today but she didn't reply so I dropped it.
Chioma: Hey sorry I didn't reply earlier I've been busy you know Christmas cooking and all coupled with all the relatives. I'm just going to survive this Christmas because of my cool cousins.
Chioma will never change
Me: Bleh!Wouldn't want to be you
Chioma: That one is your business how about you what are you doing for Christmas.
Me: Spending it with my cousins, don't forget my rice and my gift.
I will go for thanksgiving in church if she even remembers me tomorrow
Chioma: You too bring my own gift
Me: What will you like as your Christmas gift?
Chioma: I'm not asking for too much just a Porsche worth forty five million
As soon as I received her message I couldn't help but burst into laughter. Porsche ko Ferrari ni
"Why is this one laughing now?" Tobi asked.
"No it's nothing I was just talking to someone she's very funny" I replied.
Me: Why do you want a Porsche?
Chioma: Uh duh it's the Law Of Assurance. Any body named Chioma is entitled to a Porsche and you know I'm Chioma I deserve one
This girl is seriously crazy
"Can you imagine this girl saying she wants a Porsche worth forty five million as a Christmas gift since her name is Chioma" I said to Tobi who just started laughing.
"Talking about Chioma I met one yesterday she came to my house with her mom and sister but let me not lie the girl is fine" He said and I rolled my eyes.
"That's all you know, you know you have a girlfriend"
"Which girlfriend me that I broke up with that one last week" He replied.
Me: Okay o madam I-deserve-a-porshe
Chioma:Mtchewww mood spoiler!*inserts angry face emoji*
Me: Assurance are you angry?
She's so going to laugh when she sees this but it's not my fault abi she's looking for assurance
Chioma: Okay so it's now assurance no wahala
Me: Yes get used to it
Chioma: Whatever I have to go now talk to you later
Why is she going now?
Me: Okay bye
I replied but she had already gone offline. Oh well let me listen to Tobi and his Chioma talk.
"She's a little bit fair but she package as per front and back and from what I saw she has pretty long hair" Tobi said and I looked at him with disbelief.
Just like assurance....So I'm still calling her assurance?
"If you think I'm lying ask Tessy her sister is Tessy's friend" He continued "She's pretty nice too"
Definitely not assurance.... Said it again
I'm not saying she's not nice it's just that you know she not really nice to strangers but I guess it's just the way we met.
"Okay I've heard better don't go and use and dump this one" I said and started playing my guitar.
"I can never do that, but that's if we'll ever get together" he said.
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Hey lovely reader!
How was this chapter?!
Do you think it's the same Chioma they're talking about? 😂
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So Assurance! Chioma! Sends her greetings!!
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❤GIGI❤
🎶 Oh, you turn your back on tomorrow 🎶
🎶 Cause you forgot yesterday 🎶
🎶 I gave you my love to borrow 🎶
🎶 But you just gave it away 🎶