Swara rested her back against the wall, taking uneven breaths, her condition completely like that of a person who had nothing left to lose in her life. She didn't know what to think anymore.
What was going on? How did all this happen? When did it happen? And where was she when all this happened to her mother? And most importantly... why did it happen?!
Never in her life she had ever imagined to see her mother in such a deformed condition.
And finally... her tears broke free. A tear dropped down from her eye as she still couldn't believe any of what was going on.
Sanskar stared at her, saw her every action. He didn't understand how... but he just couldn't stop thinking about what just happened. And on top of that, Swara's disheveled condition right now. The shock that Swara had to take in as all this happened within a spur of a moment, Sanskar didn't know what to do anymore. He just felt so sorry for Swara to see her in this state. Sanskar wanted to say so much to Swara right now. He wanted to comfort her with positive words, he wanted to assure her that everything would be fine, he wanted to tell her her mother would be fine...
But... what do you say to a girl who was so close to breaking down with the fear of something happening to her mother? He knew... this was above everything he could tell her. At this moment, words just weren't enough. Nothing was enough.
"Swara?" Sanskar called her in a very tender tone.
There was no response from Swara. She was still wondering what was happening inside the room with her Maa.
"Please Swara, don't worry." Sanskar comforted her, even if he knew this wasn't enough. "Doctors are checking her, I'm sure everything will be fine. Haan?"
She weakly nodded her head as she controlled her tears.
"Agar Maa ko k-kuch... ho gaya toh..."
"Kuch nahi hoga unhe." Sanskar assured her with his heart, keeping his hand on her shoulder, providing her warmth. "Don't worry. Nothing will go wrong."
Swara sighed closing her eyes. "I hope so too... that..."
A sound immediately stopped Swara and made her alert. She sensed the sound coming from the opening of the door of the room where her mother was taken a few minutes back.
The doctors came out of the room with a solemn expression on their faces. And somewhere, from that expression, it was evident that they had some disturbing news to give to them.
Swara and Sanskar immediately approached them, with Swara being the first one to approach them to ask about her mother. "Doctor? What is going on? Maa kaisi hai? Is she fine? She is fine, right? Please doctor, please tell me if Maa is..."
But the doctors dismissed Swara's questions and they immediately called out someone.
"Please give me a minute." One of the two doctors left from there, leaving the other doctor with Swara and Sanskar to talk.
"Please doctor!" Swara insisted to him. "Tell me what happened to Maa? She will be fine, right? Why don't you answer me?"
The doctor looked at Sanskar, who was also looking back at him expecting for an answer from him.
And after a deep, mournful sigh, the doctor looked back at Swara. She should know the truth.
"I don't want to give any false hope." The doctor told them, and let out a sigh. "The truth is... the accident was terrible, in fact more than terrible itself. This is the worst case of accident we have ever come across with." The doctor concluded from the diagnosis that he did recently. By this time, Swara had stopped breathing. She held on to her lungs to hear further, to hear that her mother was fine, which seemed unlikely and that only shattered her more.
"The patient is very serious." The doctor continued. "She has got many internal injuries at different places. Unki haalat pehle se hi bohot gambhir hai, but with every passing moment her condition is becoming even more critical. We tried our level best to stop the external as well as internal bleeding but somehow we are not able to. We are suspecting she has also got an injury in her brain. And if things keep going on like this then... I'm sorry, but we don't think there would be any chances of saving-"
"NO!!!" The doctor was immediately cut off by Swara's loud voice as she looked at the doctor with eyes filled with tears and her
"No doctor... y-you can't do this!" She paniced. "You have to save her. She has to get well! Doctor, please." Tears came out from Swara's eyes as she tearfully joined her hands in front of him. "Please meri Maa ko bacha lijiye. Do anything you want, but please save my Maa. Please."
She broke down in sobs and cried harder with every passing moment. And Sanskar couldn't turn his gaze away from Swara. He wanted to reach out to her, hold her to support her, but couldn't bring himself to.
"See, we are trying everything in our power to save her." The doctor informed them and Sanskar immediately took note of it. "That is why we are going to do her surgery as soon as possible. We are soon getting into choosing topmost doctors to perform this critical operation. Till that time, the patient will be staying in the ICU for special care."
"ICU?" She asked in shock.
"Yes, Dr Swara. And till the time, we will make arrangements for the operation. But..."
Doctor's expression turned from determined to a regretted one.
"Look, Dr Swara, I think aapke liye yeh baat jaanna bohot jaruri hai, ki... we are not sure if the surgery will work hundred percent. Like I said, we are doing our best to save her, but I can't assure you that, I'm afraid." He let them know. "In our observation, she is really critical. Now we are anyhow doing her operation but... I can't say if it will go successfully. I'm sorry to say but chances of saving her are really very low."
The last statement of the doctor was the final blow for Swara as she swayed from her place all of a sudden... as everything was crashing down beneath her. Sanskar immediately held her arm supporting her and turned towards the doctor.
"Dr Sharma, we need to hurry then!" Sanskar turned towards him hastily. "Please hurry, quick! I will take over her responsibility! I will do her surgery! We have to save her, by hook or by crook!" He declared in a fraction of a second. Swara looked at him in shock.
Sanskar looked at Swara for once and for the first time, in all these days, right from the day when he met her... in those captivating black orbs which he was coming to lose himself by, there were tears... tears of fear, fear of losing someone she loved. Tears of pain. Tears of... everything. And he had never been this hurt.
Her tears were something that immediately made Sanskar stay firm on his decision.
"Yes doctor." Sanskar answered back confidently. "I'll do the surgery. We need the best team of surgeons to perform this operation. I will wait for the arrangements, till that time, you can quickly shift the patient to ICU. I'll be there in some time."
"Alright!" Dr Sharma replied. "I'll get into the arrangements as soon as possible. Dr Sanskar, I'll also call Dr Rajat."
"Okay." Sanskar replied back.
The doctor excused himself and walked away from there to inform the nurses to make the necessary arrangements.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
The carrier hospital bed was dragged out of the room where Sharmishtha was kept all this while and by now, a group of nurses accompanied Dr Sharma into hurrying the patient to the ICU room, for it would cost them her life if there was any more delay.
Swara who was standing at one place for a long time suddenly caught sight of her mother... who meant everything to her. She was her best friend, her mentor, her better half, and most importantly her whole world. Swara's heart broke as she saw her mother who was being taken away from her right under her eyes and... she still couldn't do anything to stop her.
Even Sanskar watched her mother regretfully.
Suddenly, as Swara saw seconds that felt like decades going slower, and having a look on her mother who was extremely pale and injured, lying on the bed unconscious and devoid of any reaction, her mind suddenly whirled in all kinds of scary thoughts.
Thoughts that were inevitable. Thoughts she couldn't avoid no matter how hard she tried. Her façade of a strong person, after so many years, was slowly breaking.
What if something happened to her mother?
What if God finally decided to snatch her Maa away from her?
What if her Maa didn't make it?
No! NO! She was not going to let that happen. Not before, not after, not till her last breath!
And all of a sudden, she couldn't control herself as she crumbled watching the heartbreaking sight of her mother who was fighting for her life...
"MAA!!!" Swara yelled, and that was then when she broke down in tears that were now flowing from her eyes in a stream.
But not even Swara's voice could stop the doctors and nurses from doing their work.
"Maa..." Swara, too quickly, stepped ahead, trying to suddenly catch the bed, catch her mother, the one who she would save no matter at what height she would get to go to. But all she knew was she was not going to lose her.
"Maa! Maa..." Swara suddenly gripped the bed and that suddenly disturbed the doctors. Sanskar, too shocked and overwhelmed, immediately ran towards Swara to hold her.
"Swara! Please-" Sanskar requested her in a soft tone but was trailed off by her sobs...
"Maa, you can't go like this!" Swara sobbed. On seeing no response from her unconscious mother, with passing seconds, she was crying harder. "Maa aap mujhe aise chhod kar nahi jaa sakti! Aapko wapas aana hoga! Apni Shona keliye..." Her voice was softer in the end, but the softer she was, weaker she became. "Maa, I won't let anything happen to you! I promise you Maa. Maa, please open your eyes for just once! Please Maa, please wake up only for once! You have to come back. You can't leave me like this! You can't-"
"Swara please, let her go." Sanskar pleaded with her in a pained voice. "We all are there. We will save her."
And all of a sudden... the bed slipped off from Swara's hand, and she could do nothing else but watch her mother being taken away from her in the ICU in such a condition. Far away... from her.
"MAA!" Swara fell down on her knees and alongside her, Sanskar too fell down on his knees while holding her tightly and trying to calm her down.
"Maa..." Swara sobbed, but this time she didn't cry for just seconds and minutes. This time, she cried for her life, her mother's life, her own life, her own existence, and for her world that was her mother.
"Swara..." Sanskar was still with her, supporting her by gripping her arms gently. "Swara, utho."
She sniffed and her head dropped on her palms. She looked like she had nothing left to lose.
She had nothing left to lose... because she had already lost everything. And losing her mother would be the last thing she would ever lose. If something happened to her mother, Swara would die alongside her.
"Please Swara, stay strong." Sanskar tried soothing her with pacifying words.
And as he completed his sentence he slowly lifted her up, making her get up, and he got up alongside her. He held her delicately as Swara still struggled with herself.
She covered her mouth to stiffle her sobs. Sanskar held her by her shoulders, being more determined than ever. "Swara, suno meri baat. Kuch nahi hoga tumhari Maa ko. I promise you Swara! I won't let anything happen to her. Please, Swara, sambhalo apne aap ko. You have to stay strong, Swara, for the sake of your mother. What do you think, how will she feel if she sees you crying like this? Tumhe lagta hai unhe accha lagega? No, right?"
Swara nodded her head in a no, still crying.
"Then believe me." Sanskar assured her with all his heart. Swara stared at him with an unread emotion. "We won't let anything happen to her and I will make sure of it. She will get well, she will wake up, and soon she will see your beautiful smile, and that will instantly make her recover soon." Sanskar told her but Swara seemed to be taking note of only those two words he said in the beginning...
'Believe me'
Believe... that was the most complicated word she had ever heard in her life.
But right now, hearing it from Sanskar, who was also the most complicated person in her life, the person who was enough to stir the strings of her heart and turn her knees into jellies just by his mere touch...
After all those twenty two years in her life, Swara finally understood what the word 'trust' meant.
Trust was something that she could see in him. In Sanskar.
There was pure sincerity in his tone as well as in his heart and Swara... all of a sudden, she didn't know how but she was overwhelmed with emotions. Everything that she had bottled up inside of her till date, suddenly started crumbling down until she realised she couldn't take this pain inside her anymore.
The thought of losing her Maa, losing her inspiration, her mentor, had the power to crush each and every fibre of Swara's being.
"Trust me, Swara!" Sanskar uttered the same word that had been ringing in Swara's mind ever since he was with her.
And this was the day when Swara Bose broke down as she felt like she couldn't take anymore pain now. The strong headed, the girl everyone had known to be bold, today was so small, so fragile, so vulnerable, was so scared, scared with the thought that she would lose her mother, her everything, her everything that had been keeping her sane all this while.
And as Swara's sobs turned more intense, she, not being able to take it anymore, not being able to stay strong anymore like she always had been for her family, not being able to maintain her façade anymore... she broke down completely in Sanskar's arms as she squeezed herself towards him, her arms tightening around his waist, her head against his chest, as today she cried her heart out. And Sanskar's heart... yet again... froze.
Swara cried and kept crying till this world was going to end. And within a fraction of a second, without any moment of hesitation, Sanskar held her back. He embraced her warmly and held her tight towards himself, giving her her own comfort zone to pour her heart out. His heart raced at a fast rate having Swara this much close to him but more than that, her tears so close to him affected him much more than her presence did. And he regretted that he still wasn't able to wipe those tears away from her eyes...
Sanskar couldn't gather his thoughts all at once. At this moment, the Swara he had always known to be so strong and bold was right now looking so vulnerable and broken. Her mother's accident was the final blow for her but somewhere, Sanskar felt like there was more to it... something much more.
"Don't cry Swara." Sanskar told her, not being able to control his own feelings anymore. He felt so painful seeing her cry like this. Never he had imagined in his life to see Swara crying like this.
Swara closed her eyes painfully. "Sanskar..." She sobbed his name, letting her emotions out. "Ever since I was brought up in this world, right from the day when I was born, my Maa has been everything to me. The day when Baba left her and our family, Maa and Dida are the only ones I had. She's my entire world, Sanskar. I won't be able to live if anything happens to her." She stopped sobbing for a while but still had occasional hiccups due to lot of crying. "I never had a pleasant childhood. We were taunted by society because Baba had left us. They thought we were the reason why my Baba left, when in reality he was the one who had an affair with a colleague in his office. After few years of Baba being gone, he left this world too." She closed her eyes. "Still, still my Maa was so strong. I don't know... I don't know what wrong did my Maa do to deserve this fate, I never understood, never. I always questioned God, why only my Maa? Kya bigada tha unhone kisi ka? But all I knew was if Maa can be so strong, strong enough to be the backbone for our family alone, then why can't I? You know, Maa never talks about her feelings or about her pain to anyone but I knew that Maa suffered each and every moment in her life because of that man." She took in a sharp breath as fresh tears again made their way down her cheeks. "No matter what happened with me in the past, no matter what things have been in my life those five years back, I always knew I had to live for my family. If Maa can be so strong then I can be too. All this while, I stayed strong for the sake of my family. I chose to be a doctor because I want to help people get rid of their pain because I know what pain was like. She was the only person who had been keeping me strong all this while, Sanskar. If anything happened to her, I will die. Mar jaungi mai. I can't live without my Maa. She is everything to me Sanskar. I can't live with the realisation that being a doctor myself, I couldn't save my Maa."
"Ssh, Swara." Sanskar comforted her, and with every word spoken by Swara, he held her closer to himself and rubbed her back to calm her down. "Don't say like this, everything will be fine. Mai hoon na!"
"Sanskar..." Swara called out to him, breaking the hug staring at him tearfully and the sight broke Sanskar's heart. "Promise me. You won't let anything happen to her. Please, please save my Maa. Please." She requested him in a whisper.
"I promise you Swara." He immediately promised. "I won't let anything happen to your mother, I promise you. I just want you to trust me with your mother, then no matter what will happen, I will save your mother Swara!"
"I do trust you." Swara uttered to him unconsciously, without even her knowing.
"That's all I want." Sanskar assured her heavily.
And with that, he embraced her again, and Swara let him.
Swara herself didn't know why but being in his embrace gave her a kind of warmth. A feeling of satisfaction. A feeling that she thought she wouldn't be judged this time because it was Sanskar who she was pouring her heart out too. All this while, Swara feared of getting misjudged but with Sanskar... she had no such fear. Because he never judged her.
And very soon... Swara's sobs were the only sound that Sanskar could hear, despite of all the hustle and bustle that was generally going on in the entire hospital. She cried for every second, for every minute, for every time in her life, in Sanskar's arms. Every time that was now gone, every time that would now come, but most of all, she was broken down, broken down like never before. He herself didn't know how long it must have had been since Swara cried like this.
And realising that the thought of losing her mother was enough to crush each and every part of her body mercilessly and most obviously her heart, Sanskar Maheshwari finally knew that Swara Bose was much more than what she showed outside. At this moment, she seemed so much vulnerable, so much broken, so much terrified, that nothing else for that whole one hour bothered him. He didn't bother he had held her closer to himself since an hour.
At this point, not even 'time' mattered...
All that mattered was, only Swara. A broken Swara. The girl who was fighting everyday to survive in this hostile world. Perhaps a fighter herself.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
After calming down Swara finally and making her sit on a chair comfortably, assuring her that everything would be fine, Sanskar wore his surgical clothes and got to work immediately.
First he looked after the arrangements and then approached Dr Sharma.
"Dr Sharma, are we ready?"
"Yes, Dr Sanskar."
Sanskar was preparing himself to go inside the operation theatre when suddenly his eyes caught Swara who was watching him from a long distance.
She watched him with an unreadable expression, and Sanskar knew his promise. He would give his entire self into saving her mother, he had promised her.
And himself too.
Sanskar nodded his head as an assurance to those red, swollen eyes of Swara. She prayed to God to save her mother.
"Don't worry, Swara." Sanskar shaked his head staring at her, uttering those words in his mind. "Kuch nahi hone dunga mai tumhari Maa ko."
And within a second, Swara nodded her head weakly, staring at him, as if she heard those unuttered words by Sanskar. Sanskar gave her an assuring smile, and Rajat immediately came to him. "Hey... Sanskar."
"Rajat!" Sanskar turned towards him. "You have called Anushka, right? When is she coming?"
"She is on her way. Abhi aati hi hogi."
"It's good we called her." Sanskar sighed. "There should be someone with Swara. She can't be alone at this time."
"You are right, yaar." He agreed. "Oh by the way, when are we supposed to begin?"
"Now." Sanskar replied, taking a heavy breath.
"Sanskar?" Rajat kept his palm on his shoulder. "You sure you will be fine?"
Sanskar sighed. "Yes Rajat, I'm fine. I just... have some things going on in my head, and I want to clear them before I go inside." He confessed to him.
Rajat nodded his head, understanding that whatever Sanskar had in his mind, it surely involved Swara. And why wouldn't it? It was completely alright.
"Let us go inside." Sanskar told him after a long time.
Rajat, replying him back positively, followed him as they made their way towards the operation theatre, with Sanskar bottling up his inner feelings as he knew this wasn't something he was supposed to think inside the room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
The moment Sanskar came face to face with Swara's mother, who was lying on the bed without any movement, without consciousness, and to think she was Swara's mother, made his heart get heavy yet again.
No matter how much he tried, he couldn't get it off his mind. Instead, his mind went back to a few things he wished he had never remembered.
Something... that involved his own mother.
Remembering those painful days yet again, at this moment, Sanskar couldn't help but feel too overwhelmed.
Because few years back, he had been in the same place where he was now. And on the bed, was lying... his own mother. His own mother who fought for her life but ended up losing. Sanskar tried so hard to save her, but he couldn't. Not even his father could. This was how it had ended.
And Sanskar couldn't help but get the same nostalgic feeling again... the same feeling he had got at that time. But during that time, he didn't let his personal feelings come in between his work. His only aim was to save his mother.
But today, for the first time ever in Sanskar's medical career, he was distracted by his own personal feelings that interrupted his work. And that made him go weak on his knees. He feared. He feared if the slightest of thing under his hands went wrong, Swara's soul would die even without death. He might lose her forever and alongside that he would once again feel the loss... the same loss he felt during his mother's time. He didn't want the same guilt and regret on his shoulders again.
'No matter what had happened with me in the past, no matter what things have been in my life those five years back, I always knew I had to live for my loved ones.' Sanskar remembered how Swara had broken down in his arms.
Just the sight of tears in Swara's eyes broke Sanskar's heart.
"Dr Sanskar, we can begin." Dr Sharma told him.
Sanskar finally picked up the surgical knife, fitting it between his fingers that was stuffed with surgical glove. "Yeah, we will begin."
And with that, marked the start of the critical surgery. The lights went on, showing Sharmishtha's unconscious face and the most professional surgeons surrounding her... finally ready for one of the most critical operations they'd ever had.
Sanskar did every thing methodically, not letting his thoughts distract him for his work. He did every little thing carefully and tenderly, and instructing other people to assist too.
'All this while, I stayed strong for the sake of my family.' He remembered her words and he couldn't help but feel so much for her.
Sanskar took a deep breath. All he knew was, he had to save Swara's mom.
He was going to!
He had to save her. He had to save her. He had to fulfill the promise he had given to her. He had to save a life in general!
'She was the only person who had been keeping me strong all this while, Sanskar. If anything happened to her, I will die. Mar jaungi mai. I can't live without my Maa. She is everything to me Sanskar. I can't live with the realisation that I couldn't save my Maa.'
"I promise you Swara." Sanskar uttered in his mind. "I will save your mother. She will be safe, or yeh mera vaada hai tum se!"
And with that, he resumed his operation in determination.
Sharmishtha was fighting for her life. Swara was fighting for her mother's life. And here, Sanskar was fighting with his own heart. The heart that never slowed down beating whenever it came to Swara.
At this point, all of them were fighting. They were fighting for themselves, for others, and for their own lives.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sanskar removed his surgical mask finally, as the operation had come to an end after long six hours.
He couldn't help but try getting out of the room as soon as possible, or else he knew being here would make him weak.
So, he came out of the operation theatre, his eyes searching for Swara, when he finally spotted her sitting on one of the benches, with Anushka sitting right besides her holding her.
And as soon as Swara noticed the light going off, her heart skipped a beat as she immediately saw Sanskar. Wasting not a single minute, she ran towards him and approached him.
"Sanskar!" Swara panted heavily, and Sanskar immediately noticed that her eyes were still as red as they were before. It indicated that she had just cried again.
"Sanskar... M-Maa kaisi hai? She is okay, right?" Swara bombarded him with questions.
"Swara... woh-"
"Sanskar batao na!" Swara said hastily. "Please tell me, how is Maa now?"
"Swara... Swara calm down." Sanskar calmed her down but Swara still couldn't get her uneven breaths under control.
Anushka was also standing right besides Swara, expecting for an answer. And alongside Sanskar, Rajat came too.
"Swara," Sanskar licked his lips as he finally nodded his head in assurance. It was time to tell the truth.
The truth that there was nothing for Swara to worry.
Sanskar had finally fulfilled the promise he had made to her.
But... there were still some things to do to fulfill that promise completely.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Precap : SwaSan scenes and... what do yout think about Sharmishtha?
A/N : Hope you all liked this chapter as much as I loved writing it. There is just something so different about writing emotional scenes. ❤ I hope I was successful in portraying SwaSan's emotions here. I am running a fever right now so I think that is a plus point for me.
Now... what do you think might happen next? To be honest I feel very sad seeing Swara's condition in this chapter. Hope things go well. And yes, by the way, there is something about Sanskar too, which will be revealed in the next chapter.
Lots of love ❤