Alice’s POV
“So,” she began, placing one leg over the other, “shall we talk?”
“What about?”
“You, of course. I’m not trying to find something to argue about, Alice,” Elanor added when I pursed my lips. “I just want to know how you’ve been. Do you like Aberville so far?”
“It’s fine,” I replied.
“How about school?” She tried again.
“Fine,” I responded.
“And what about work?” She barely managed to hide her annoyance at my curt replies.
“Fine.”
I knew it wasn’t fair to give her one-word answers but I was afraid that if I gave her longer ones, she’d find something to reprimand me about; even though she said she wasn’t looking for a fight, I’d had to face her judgmental attitude for years.
“And your… relationship with the boy?”
“Caden,” I emphasized the name she avoided using, “and I are doing better than fine; far, far better.”
“I see,” she uttered quietly, her hand reaching for her brown hair again.
“Margie is giving me a raise,” I announced a few minutes later in an attempt to break the silence that had fallen between us; we were here to talk after all.
“So, you are achieving something.”
“Finally, you mean?”
“I told you, Alice, I’m not looking to start a fight,” irritation crept in her voice again.
“Prove it,” I dared her.
“How?”
“Let’s talk about Caden.”
The curiosity on her face was replaced by barely contained annoyance.
“What about him?” She asked in that flat tone of hers.
“Why don’t you ever pronounce his name?”
“You know how I feel about that boy, Alissa.”
So we were back to “Alissa”?
I had not heard that from her in a while.
“But why?” I leaned forward in my sofa. “Why do you hate him so much?”
He was so good to me, why couldn’t she see that?
“He’s not good enough for you,” she stated, as if she’d read my mind. “You two will never have…”
Elanor placed her delicate hand over her lips to keep herself quiet. A moment later, she lowered it to her lap and looked away from me. Her fingers were intertwined but occasionally one or more of them would twitch nervously.
“Will never have what?” I asked slowly, surprised by how unsettled she appeared all of a sudden.
“You two will never have what your father and I did,” she finally concluded.
“Which father?” I sneered. “Your first husband? Your second one? Third? Number one hundred?”
Her head snapped my way, her eyes narrowing as she looked at me.
“You only ever had one father, Alissa,” she commented coolly.
“The one whose death you blame me for,” I murmured quietly.
Her green eyes opened wider than I ever thought possible and her mouth gaped.
“Y-you.. You think… I what?” She stuttered almost incoherently; one more thing uncommon for her collected character.
“That you blame me for dad’s death,” I repeated in a tone just as low as before. I lowered my head in shame. I opened my mouth but could not speak. Once I found my voice, it trembled as I said: “He was coming to get me from day care when he crashed.”
My hands were taken into two larger but gentle ones and I realized Elanor had kneeled before my seat.
“Alice, do you really think that?”
“Yes,” I muttered, still not looking at her.
“How long have you thought that?”
“All my life.”
“But why?”
“Why?” I repeated, facing her. “Because of you.”
Elanor seemed surprised; she even loosened her grip on my hands.
“At dad’s funeral, you didn’t talk to me; you didn’t even want to look at me,” I began explaining, my voice heavy with unshed tears. “For weeks after that, you barely spoke to me; you talked to other people, but not with me. You never speak about him and if I ask you, you’d get angry; you’d change the topic and if I insisted, you’d send me to my room.”
She did not interrupt me; she simply stood before me with a stony expression.
“You used to hug me and to read bedtime stories to me and we’d go to the park together but after daddy died, you kept ignoring me. Why would you do that if you don’t blame me for his death? You moved on but without me; you started dating and getting engaged, and getting married, but you didn’t care that I didn’t like your boyfriends and fiancés or that…”
“Of course I cared!” She protested.
“I’ve only ever liked one of your husbands and you were quick to divorce him,” I justified my words. "You even gave away the puppy he'd bought me."
“But… Those men were helping me.”
“Helping you?” I could not understand her. “Helping you with what? Get richer?”
“Get over your dad.”
It was my turn to be astonished.
“Get over dad? But you did that years ago.”
“No, Alice, I didn’t,” she pulled her hands away from mine and with a tired sigh sat back on the sofa opposite mine.
“I never got over him,” she repeated. “That was the problem; that was why none of my later marriages lasted, Alice. I used those men to try and forget how special your father made me feel, but I could not help compare them to him. He was just so wonderful.” Her eyes watered as she went on: “To me, to you, to everyone; he was just a wonderful, wonderful person. He was a real gentleman and always put my wellbeing and wishes before his own; he treated me like a princess. Which girl does not wish to be treated like a princess?”
“I know how that feels; that’s how Cade treats me.”
She shook her head.
“No, Alice. You and that boy cannot have what your father and I did.”
“And why would you think that? He loves me, he really does. He puts my wellbeing before his, he respects my wishes… How is that different from what you and dad had? Why do you keep thinking he’s not good enough for me?”
“Because,” her voice was high-pitched but she got it under control before continuing: “Because he has a record. He’s a criminal, Alice, and he’d never amount to anything. He will not get a job, he won’t be able to support you and you’d have to risk your dreams to find a way to pay the bills for the both of you. I know you would do so, you are too stubborn to ask for my help.”
“He has a job now,” I reminded her coolly.
“Stocking the shelves part time; he’s a keeper!” She jested.
“He’s an artist.”
“Artists can’t feed a family, Alissa.”
“Have you seen any of his paintings?” I growled venomously. “No,” I went on before she’d given me an answer. “You have not. Yet you somehow think he’d fail at that. He was a criminal, Elanor; he used to be a thief to pay the bills because he found no support from his father or brother; he had to eat, to pay for water and electricity, and to pay his mother’s caretakers. Will you condemn him for that? Will you judge him for becoming a criminal for someone he loves?”
Elanor was left speechless; never before had I talked so openly with her on matters that were private to Caden.
“Besides, he doesn’t do that anymore; he’s found a job, a steady, legal one and he goes to school. He puts just as much effort in those activities as I do, maybe even more. He’s passionate about art and he will not just wake up one morning, thinking ‘Hey, how about I forget about my dream and have Alice support me for the rest of my life?’ He will not give up on the Academy, he will not give up on his job – even if he hates it, he knows we need the money – and he will not give up on me.”
“Are you sure?” She asked after a brief silence.
I looked her straight into the eyes – the same as mine - and confidently replied with a single word:
“Yes.”
“Alright,” she nodded. “If you really are sure and he makes you happy, I’ll give the boy… Caden a chance.”
“W-what?” I stuttered, surprised that she’d used his name.
“I said,” she repeated, slightly irritated that I’d made her say the same thing once more, “that I’d give Caden a chance. For your sake, I’ll try to be less skeptical and prejudiced about him and I’ll even take a look at his art if he allows it.”
“You will?” I could not believe my ears.
Was it some sort of a trick?
No. Looking into her eyes – anxious but determined and perhaps a bit apologetic - I knew it wasn’t; she spoke the truth.
“For me?” I asked.
“For you.”
She got off her sofa and stood before me. Elanor leaned down and hesited before placing a quick peck on my forehead.
“I'm going to make the two of us some tea,” she announced and left the room and all I could think about was that my mother had kissed me.
For the first time since I'd been very, very lttle, she had kissed me.
*****
Elanor’s POV
I sniffed and wiped the tears that had rolled down my cheeks.
Thank God my sisters were upstairs and Alice was still in the living room!
I did not wish anyone to see me like this.
I could not believe that all these years my daughter had thought I blamed her for the death of the only man I’d fallen in love with. What had I done to my little girl?
In my grief, I’d convinced myself that it would be better if I did not speak to her at the funeral. She was so upset and I had to appear strong; if she saw how broken I was back then, she’d crash as well. I had to pretend to be in control for her sake but it’d been so hard to do that when she was around to add her sorrow to mine, that I’d avoided her. I thought that if she didn’t see me cry, she wouldn’t either; if I was strong, she’d be too. I wanted to be an example but I’d only succeeded in building a wall between us.
But I’ll fix that; I’ll break that wall, I thought as I poured two cups of tea from chamomile – a nice, calming herb and just what we needed at a time such as this. I’d even give Caden a chance. I know he loves her but I want the best for my daughter. What if he’s not? What if he breaks her heart? She could not go through what I’ve been; she should not! But he does love her, I kept thinking as I carried the tray and tea into the living room. Perhaps that would be enough. I hope it would.
*****
A/N: Some of you had wanted Elanor’s POV since The Green Girl; well, now you have it! I hope you enjoyed this mother/daughter chapter. Maybe it even deserves a vote?
Or did it disappoint you?
Anyway, Alice will be getting back to Aberville and Caden in the next chapter. Anyone excited for that? ;)