Yoongi pressed his lips into a straight line. Sana has been crying unstoppable since they met in front of their school gate and until Yoongi brought Sana to his new apartment. What Sana has been doing is only hugging him while crying. As if the girl had never cried for decades, her tears kept flowing down if Sana didn't feel exhausted and finally fell asleep. Now the girl is sleeping so tight in his embrace, Yoongi caressed Sana's long hair gently then placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Sana everything was so hard for me,"Yoongi said. Staring at Sana's sleeping face like a tired angel. For two years Yoongi had to disappear from everyone. He went to Mokpo and stayed with a close senior from his middle school. Yoongi purposefully threw away his phone, left his apartment, didn't inform anyone, completely erased his trail because he wished Sana will comeback to Jimin. Yoongi's wish was only one, both of them to be together again and what he had done won't affect their relationship at all. But Yoongi knew, from Sana's gaze when they first met -again- before, Yoongi knew exactly. His wish had never been granted and he only destroyed this girl again and again.
"I really love you more than anyone in this world and my life was harder than before after I let you go,"Yoongi kissed Sana's crystal pearl that came out nonchalantly from the corner of her eyes, as if she could hear what is Yoongi talking about.
"I lived soullessly for these past two years. A hundred times I was thinking to comeback to you and snatch you away but the sin that I've been bearing is bigger that my desire to be with you. I wanted to comeback just to see your face but I was not ready if I realized that you will never be mine,"Yoongi whispered while tightening his embrace to the girl whom already became his true love, became the only one that means the most and beautiful in his uneasy life, became the only light that illuminates his dark heart.
"Yoongi..don't leave me again...,"
Yoongi was stunned and almost couldn't breathe when he heard what Sana mumbling was. Yoongi began to breathe in relief when he realized that she was just sleep talking. He still had no idea about this girl's life, how's Jimin and where he should start. Because today's meeting was not purposefully to be happen by him. He never expected that he will meet Sana again like this. As if everything has been written down by the fate. However, Yoongi was still holding all of his heart to not be overflowed by him in front of Sana -at least when she's awake- because everything won't be as easy as that after two years they had been separated.
Yoongi inhaled a deep breath and tried to calm down. This evening's event was really shaking his life once again. Yoongi was not ready, but he can't let Sana go again once he already got her in his embrace. Yoongi lowered his head, staring at the girl who's sleeping soundly like a very beautiful sleeping princess -even Sana is prettier than any other princesses in fairytale that Yoongi ever read. Sana's long lashes, her pink and kissable small lips that really drunkable, her flawless milky cheeks, her sculpted perfect nose, her long silky hair and every shapes of her body made Yoongi awestruck. Yoongi missed everything and this girl is in his embrace.
At least for now he wanted to hug Sana and fall asleep beside her. Before they talk about every mess in their life properly. Before once again Yoongi declarate himself to be hers even if now she'll refuse him. Yoongi only didn't want to disappear from a Minatozaki Sana's life again. Because after he realized that he's in love with this girl, Sana is his only reason to live his life as a proper human.
You Can't Disappear From Me
SANA:
Does this mess came from you? Or was from the start it's already messy? What's so wrong from our meeting that even we had no idea that the end will be like this? Do we will never be happy?
It's already twice that I had went through the hardest time until I didn't want to wake up anymore. It's all because of you. When I saw the sword stabs your chest, I thought my world is over but you came back to me. Then when you gone and everyone believed that you committed suicide by jumping from the rooftop, I thought Minatozaki Sana is no longer in this world. She came alive to be someone different, someone empty and fake.
Hey Min Yoongi. I hate you. I hate you because you make my tender love to Jimin turned out to be a disaster. A disaster because I maintained the love with my emptiness. My greatest sin is not when I destroyed him after he knew about our relationship but when I force myself...making sure and deceive myself to think that I only love him. And that I love Jimin Oppa more than anything in this world when you're my world.
If once again I feel you and stare into your eyes, I swear to the God I won't waver anymore to let go of the world I'm living now to comeback to my world, you. What we had been through was too painful, but I think that everything is the Creator's masterpiece. This story is the Almighty's masterpiece. This great love,was formed difficulty after we had been through every bitterness and sorrows.
Do you love me, Yoongi? Like i was before, repeatedly ward away and deceive myself, believed that what I feel was just a plain lust and hatred?
Eventhing is real. Because I really hope the happiness to come into your life.
"Sana...,"
I opened my eyes slowly, feeling warmth that wrapping my body. His soft breath that blows into my face, make me wanna cry in happiness because right now everything is not a dream. Yoongi is still alive and is hugging me.
I look up to stare into his eyes. God, I really miss him. I miss this face, this gaze, everything in him and I can't hold myself anymore to touch him. Feeling Yoongi in every inch of my epidermis.
"Hey don't cry anymore,"
I feel his thumb wipes away my tears that actually I can't hold anymore. Yoongi smiled gently, the smile that I miss and because of that smile I can't hold myself to cry again. I feel Yoongi changed his position beside me to face me comfortably, kissed the tears that flowing down from the corner of my eyes. His tender kiss, I feel it again.
"Why you can't stop crying? Didn't I tell you that tears doesn't suit you?"Yoongi asked, almost whispering. I pulled his t-shirt and buried my face into his chest.
"Because I thought you're already dead,"I let out a sob. I can hear silence pregnant in this room. I think Yoongi wants to hear what was happening when he gone.
"Yoongi...I and Jimin Oppa, also your friends we were looking for you everywhere. Then someone picked your beanie from your mom and said he picked that in Itaewon, the place where someone jumped from 8 floors building's rooftop,"I bit my lower lip. Recalling the past's hardships.
"The guy who jumped from the building had similar features with you. His face couldn't be recognized anymore and it made everyone think that it was really you...,"my voice is more muffling in his chest. My body is trembling upon recalling my hardest time.
"Even though I believed...deep inside my heart I believed that you're still alive. I love you Yoongi...I'm grateful to met you again,"my cry become louder and louder. As if I shout out all of my sorrow when he gone. I really let out of everything because these past years I felt dying and it was so tightening. I'm relieved that he's still here.
"I'm sorry Sana...I'm sorry,"I could hear Yoongi's hoarse voice, I think right now he's crying as well. I almost tell him that I also lost our baby, but I don't know why I'm powerless to tell that. The baby that I never hug...I don't know why I have a feeling if I tell him that it will only add the pain in his heart. I bit my lips hardly.
"I beg you please don't leave me again, please...,"I sobbed. I can feel Yoongi nods on top of my head. Then he touched my face to look up at him.
"Sana...,"Yoongi breathed in, try to calm down from the tears that once again falling down to his flawless cheeks.
"However we can't hurt Jimin...,"Yoongi bit his lower lip, make me follow what he's doing right now.
"Jimin Oppa is in State,"I said.
Please Yoongi. I want to live that without thinking of other things. Can I be selfish now? After experienced how I was when I lose you for these past two years? Can't I be stubborn to myself and selfish to have you?
"Do you think that everything is wrong?"Yoongi asked. I shook my head firmly.
"Am I wrong Yoongi, loving someone?"I asked.
"You are Sana. That's wrong,"Yoongi answered carefully.
"Even though I know that you don't love me just like I do, but am I wrong because I want to have you?"I know the reason Yoongi is being like this because he loves Jimin. Once again that hurts me a lot. There's no answer from him, I look up again and stare at him. At that moment I felt his soft lips touch my lips.
I know this is indeed wrong.
"You're right. This is not wrong,"Yoongi mumbled while kissing me.
Because I hurt Jimin Oppa.
"Because this is my fault. I'm the one who make you feel this hell,"he said after our lips parted away.
We betray someone we love.
"That's why, I'll be yours again,"Yoongi slammed his lips once again to my lips, making me kiss him back immediately.
In the name of this flaring up like waves and never calm feelings.
"It's hurt Yoongi. Really hurt...,"I cried, while replying his small kisses.
I love Yoongi and Yoongi loves Jimin while Jimin loves me.
"Why it's hurt?"he asked. I gasped softly when I feel Yoongi bites my lower lip to deepen our kiss.
"Because I know you love him,"my tears are falling down again. Yoongi is too kind for me, pitying me who don't want to lose him again. Even though I know this guy loves my boyfriend and his heart is broken into pieces.
"No. I love you Minatozaki Sana,"Yoongi brushed my lips and end his wet kiss with tender kiss when he said that. I fell silent and stop replying his kiss. Our lips are still patched together when Yoongi stares at me, our eyes met.
"I love you, that's why I went to the place where we met for the first time,"I felt Yoongi's lips kissed my forehead, very gently and deeply.
My tears once again fell down upon hearing that. I don't have any idea for how many times but this is the first time I cry in happiness. My love is requited.
"I'm sorry because I wasn't able to tell you. I love you, I'm not waver anymore Sana. I misinterpreted my own feelings. In fact I really love you, ever since when we met for the first time under the cherry blossom trees. I thought you're the most beautiful thing in this world that I've ever met, that's why I was scared and I misleading that by hurting you,"Yoongi smiled gently, now without hesitate, his smile is really genuine.
"So don't cry anymore,"once again Yoongi pecked my lips, once, twice, until the peck turns into a tender and emotional kiss. I can feel that. This is what I feel ever since two years ago.
Yoongi...so all the time we were misunderstanding each other?
Once again I cry between our deeper kiss. In the end our hearts are connected, my love is not unrequited and he's mine now. Even though I know that we still have to hide. Even though tomorrow maybe Jimin will comeback. Even though I don't know what will happen again the next day. This tragedy is not over yet. And I had never dreamt that I'll experience this all. But met Yoongi, is not a regretful thing for me. And I don't want to think of anything else after I lost Yoongi, devastated and almost damaged, then I found him again and knew that we love each other. I won't think of anything else and I'll love him with all of my heart.
Tonight, I have him in my embrace again. We shared kisses and hug. Claiming each other that every part of our bodies are ours, erasing again every trace that Jimin Oppa left in my body. Once again Yoongi makes me feel the real love. Unconditional and great love, very great until makes me hard to breathe. We're connected again and there's nothing that I want more in my life than having him beside me. I ever lost Yoongi, and this is my revenge for the loss.
Let me be selfish...because losing him makes me hungry of his love.
-Drtttt...drrrtttt.... - Jimin Oppa ^_^ is calling-
We're going through a long night together after a long time. Full of love, full of affection and yearning. Without realize that once again, I will destroy a heart that is always forgiving me.
🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸
Hi guys, I know that y'all have been waiting for my update 😂 tada!!!! I updated! Actually I just cameback from my work trip and not feeling well. So, you guys who wait for this, COMMENT! LMAO 😂
Anw..
I must explain to you that this story is about Yoonsana's forbidden love and I meant it when I make Jimin as the kindest and the most innocent character here because this is the angst point. It's so heartsick that Yoonsana's love is so great but Jimin always forgives Sana. Once again this story is describing Yoonsana that can't hide from their feelings, that they can't hide from their love and it will hurt Jimin (sorry SaJim's supporters 😣)
I know Sana seemed selfish (and I meant it) that's why I want everyone look objectively towards the couples (Yoonsana or Sajim and don't follow your shipper heart XD so I can make a great ending for this story 😊
Bonus monogram picture:
(Yoongi when he witnessed his mom committed suicide, how heartbroken ðŸ˜)