He's like a moonlight.
I look deeply into the orbs that are staring at me under the ghostly moonlight. His gentle and deep gaze seems pulling away my soul into his world. Jimin who always looks at me like this, ever since we first met. There's something inside Jimin which dragging me into his world. Even after every tragedy that happened to us, I can't let him go from my life.
Jimin reminds me with the sorrows that Yoongi felt for years by loving him.
"You're always drunkable Sana,"Jimin said while thrusting his member onto mine, his hand is caressing my cheek, I groaned with the pleasant pain of our tight connection. We're connected again. I give a bittersweet smile. Making love with him is our routine activity after the storm of my life had gone. Everything felt right. I feel love whenever he touch me. I want to touch him, I want to be touched by him, I want to feel a deeper love that I've ever felt before.
Groaning in pleasant pain, Jimin moves his hips faster and thrusting his member back and forth harder. Slapping my skin, touching my G-spot, I dig my fingers on his back, making crescent marks on his skin. Jimin lowering his head to kiss my lips then moves his lips to suck my neck. I feel my body having small tremble, shiver goes up to my spine as his teeth dig into my skin, arms holding me tightly. Sweats start to drenching our bodies.
"Oppa...,"I let out a moan when his pace getting faster, he start to bury his head onto my cleavage, our hands entwined. Jimin groaned louder while I scream his name when we almost reach our climax. He quickly pulling out his length and cum into my lower abdomen while I feel my body is jolting when spraying the warm juices. I scream lowly when I feel his finger is circling around my hole, spearding the juices all over my entrance. When I almost gathering my consciousness, Jimin placed a kiss on my crook.
"Minatozaki Sana, tell me how can I live far away from you?"Jimin asked, gave me a peck then swifted it into a wet and gentle kiss. I hug him tightly as I heard his question.
I often asked myself as well. What if Jimin leave me to a far away place? What probably I can do anymore? What should I chase again in this world? While the reason of me to survive in this world after he left is Jimin. I want to be with Jimin Oppa, if there's someone asked me what I want to do for the rest of my life I'll answer him/her firmly that I want to be with Jimin Oppa. I want to deepen my love to him.
Deeper than I've ever felt with him.
"I must leave you even when I really don't want to,"he placed a kiss on the corner of my eyes. He kissed my tears. Oh no, I really don't want to see morning come. I want him to be always here, so I can hold on. In order I won't be fragile and broken. Because I know, when he leave I'll be alone again and what will conquer my head is the bittersweet memories of him. I have been cheating and being cruel to Jimin Oppa, placing his presence to repel my restlessness, placing our love to erase my greatest sadness. I'm deceiving myself to ulitize our love's pureness. Just to help me from the ruination which hasn't prevail me yet.
"Oppa, don't go,"if only I could say that.
I know that's selfish. Because there's so many speculation of my desire to not wanting him to leave. The love I feel for him already contains a lot of terms. That pure love is already having a lot of intentions. And once again I emphasized, that's to protect myself who is already rotten from the inside.
"Oppa, it's okay if we're separated for a while in order to be together forever,"I reach his soft cheeks, caressing him and smile emotionally. I always remember his promise, our dream about marriage and living together forever. Ever since the day when he said one day I'll get married with him, since that even after Yoongi entered my heart, if talking about marriage I only have one name inside my mind. Park Jimin. That's an organized scheme for me, as if that's a must, as if that's an equity. Even after I knew that his family wants him to marry another arranged girl, I think it's okay if we're separated for a while to let him fight. Fight to confront his family and finish this mess with his own power. And I'll give him a strength. If talking about marriage, only Jimin Oppa who appeared in my head.
I can't lose this man. He's the reason for me to keep alive until now.
"I'll be back. I'll comeback as fast as I can so please be patient,"Jimin Oppa whispered to my ear. I can feel his tears soaking my cheeks. I hug him tightly. I feel love.
But that love is full of speculation and intention behind it. In order to make myself who already this devastated won't become into flakes and vanished forever.
*Two years later*
"Sorry I'm late!!! Hosh...hosh...hosh...,"Sana bent over her body with both of her palms pressing against her knees, controlling her irregular breath right after she entered the café which she always visited ever since a long time ago. Everyone inside the café were turning to the milky white skinned girl with long brown hair up till her waist, she wears a warm light chocolate one piece up to her knees made by wool because this is already autumn, grey boots which almost reach her knees also scarf and blue beanie flourishing her appearance today. What a goddess - what everyone inside the café thinking about her.
"Sana-ya, it's been one hour past fifty minutes already I'm here waiting for you,"Tzuyu, her bestfriend came out from the bar while wrapping her coat around her body when the girl come. Tzuyu took her handbag and bid a goodbye with shift worker who replacing her to sit with Sana in one of their favorite vintage café corner. They've been loving this place ever since in highschool days. Sana flashed her an adorable smile, pecked Tzuyu's cheek and tugged her arm to sit at their favorite seat.
"As always. Oh well, because it's already autumn, please add a little bit ginger to my coffee,"Sana said to the waitress who approached them.
"Me too Binnie-ah, my usual order please,"Tzuyu smiled to her coworker.
"I can't believe that. Right after I touched down the gate, doctor Junho called me again and ordered me to get back just to talk about workshop that I already explained him since two days ago,"Sana rolled her eyes irritatingly while took out her phone inside her pocket. Tzuyu only let out understanding laughter upon hearing her bestfriend's reason for being late. Sana is a medical student of University of Seoul who is as bright as when she was at highschool, the lecturers demanded her to finish her college in three years considering her genius brain. That's why Tzuyu would always miss Sana when the girl was too busy with her campus life. While Tzuyu after the graduation, she just work in this café, didn't want to continue her study.
"So you'll be busy with your workshop this weekend? Geez,I'm bored to spend my time just with only Taehyung," Tzuyu heaved a sigh.
"I envy him. Even though he's busy with his business college but he is still able to spare his time for you. If only I can spare more time for you...gosh! I don't need to finish my college in three years, why they always suppressing me?"Sana sighed.
Tzuyu looked at Sana and smiled slightly. Upon hearing Sana's words, Tzuyu realized how big Taehyung's sacrifice to her the whole time. Even though she found it hard to be back at when they were child, Taehyung tried so hard to pay back the losing times when he left Tzuyu. Tzuyu was also trying hard to forgive Taehyung or to be exact to fogive her poor fate. However, during these two past years Tzuyu was grateful because she felt her life become better. She could maintain her health with more advanced cure of AIDS' patient. And the most important thing was her mentality, Taehyung's presence beside her really helps her to keep stronger and start to be happy.
Tzuyu smiled softly when she sees Sana is smiling while watching her phone. Sana has already living a pretty hard life since these past few years. Storm has already gone and Tzuyu is relieved because Sana can strengthen her heart until now. Being so far away from her lover is pretty hard for Sana because of that reason, Tzuyu knows that Sana is purposefully busying herself in campus to go through each of the day without able to think about her personal matter or to be exact about her sadness after Yoongi left her and now Jimin who is studying in State. Anyway about Yoongi, Tzuyu was really adoring Sana's strong heart because up until now, the girl is still frequently visiting Yoongi's grave even without crying in devastation at all.
Well...no matter what is Sana going through and feeling right now, the point is she can smile again just like now.
"Geez, are you looking at Jimin's face right now huh? You can't stop smiling like a fool,"Tzuyu teased. Sana averted her gaze to the long black haired girl in front of her. Sana grinned and showing her phone to Tzuyu.
"Exactly Tzu,"Sana showed a photo that Jimin sent her. Jimin with suit and tie, looked like he's in an event in State, Tzuyu guessed it should be at his campus. Jimin looked really handsome with that suit and in a classy event with Caucasians made Tzuyu realized that Jimin is really at different class comparing to them. He's really a real prince and how lucky Sana is to have this guy who is falling deeply to her.
"Jimin also must finish his college as fast as you should finish your study,"Tzuyu said while sipping her just arrived drink.
"That's impossible because he will straightly take his second degree there,"Sana laughed.
"Seriously? Is he crazy or fool? Leaving a pretty girl like you that long?"Tzuyu was really shocked upon hearing Sana's response. Sana only smiled wisely. Tzuyu felt that her bestfriend is already so mature during these past years.
"Do you think that having first degree can beat the almighty Presdir Park?"Sana asked, her wise smile is still decorating her beautiful face. Tzuyu screamed inside her heart, if only she's a guy obviously she'll fall in love with Sana and she's sure that Sana will return her love then they'll live happily ever after without experience the sorrows just like they've already got.
"You're right...but can you hold on your love to him until that long?" Tzuyu asked without hesitate.
"You're right...if you asked about that, I must ask my heart who still love Yoongi until now. I can hold on Tzuyu-ah, my heart is never changed ever since before. That's valid as well to what I'm feeling and my commitment to Jimin Oppa,"
Just now if Tzuyu saw a shooting star then she want make a wish to the shooting star to change herself to be a handsome man, Tzuyu wanted to do that. Tzuyu wanted to snatch Sana from Jimin and snatch her heart away from Yoongi who even already disappeared from this world. She want to have Sana for herself. Sana is pretty, smart, innocent, gentle, kindhearted and now she's really mature.
"Sana-ya, you make me hard to let you go with any guy who live in this world,"Tzuyu smiled faintly and Sana bursted into laugher upon hearing that.
"I love you Tzuyu-ah,"
"Stop it Sana, we sounded like a lesbian couple,"
"Hahaha!"
*Save Me*
Sana quickly hopped into her car while carrying all of her hardcopy sheets to her class this evening and quickly run back to her apartement again when she forgot something. After went back to her room and found the item which made her feeling incomplete without that thing, she applied the item to her head. The blue beanie that Yoongi left, the only thing that Sana keeps with all of her heart. Even when she didn't wear that, Sana would still bring it and keep it inside her bag. You can say it's like a weird behavior of her, Sana feels that Yoongi is always with her when she brings that beanie.
Sana got stupefied while she drove her red Hyundai she sees maple leaves are falling down to the side of street that she's passing by. Right, it's already autumn and looking at the falling red leaves remind Sana of cherry blossom's falling petals in front of her school. The cherry blossom petals that she couldn't see this year because that will only happen in spring when the flower blossomed. Last spring Sana wanted to visit her school to recall her memories about Yoongi but she should attend her colloquium in Busan for two weeks. And upon seeing the falling maple leaves, Sana feels like visit the place.
Cherry blossom flowers are blooming, prettily...
Under the cherry blossoms' falling petals which blew away by the wind, I met you for the very first time....
Sana found herself already parked her car right under the hill before their school gate. There's a path where cherry blossom trees are planted. Sana's guess was right, what left in the trees were only a few leaves and petals which waiting to fall before the trees become leafless and waiting for the winter for them to be hibernated. But Sana was still walking down the path, recalling back the memories when she's still here. When the first time she stepped herself in this path with joy to start a new day. When she stopped right where she stops right now and spreaded her arms to enjoy the beautiful scenery in her new school. When she felt someone was watching her and she turned aside to found a gentle smile from the boy whom she hated but she really loves for the very first time.
And Sana fell silent after she done practicing the moment from 5 years ago once again. Even when the autumn wind blows making her already as long as 5 years ago hair strands covering her face and her sight for a while, Sana is still frozen. Her eyes are looking straight to the front, staring with meaningful gaze and raging feelings. Is this the effect of autumn? Or she's too driving away with her feelings?
Of course Sana misses Yoongi.
Of course Sana wanted the past days back to her again. The days where Sana was still here, even though it was full of enmity but Sana wanted to repeat it again with full of affection. Sana wanted to love Yoongi once again, properly and obviously.
"Long time no see...,"
And when she realized that what she briefly thought is not an illusion due to her too emotional feelings and memories, what in front of her is not only her vision, Sana is still frozen.
"Minatozaki Sana,"
Sana felt tears are brimming on her eyes and make her vision blurry. She was sure that what she's seeing right now is an illusion but in other side she wanted to believe that this is not only her fantasy because she misses him or even just a dream. Everything that she sees right now is really impossible but felt so right. Deep inside her heart, Sana trusted this ever since before.
"Yoongi...,"Sana's lips were trembling upon calling that name once again.
Right when she practiced what she was doing 5 years ago, she caught him again. But right now he is not beside her, he is in front of her. And that's so true, Sana wanted to believe that this is not a dream.
Yoongi is standing in front of her!
Sana wanted to clear her vision, look at Yoongi's face who is standing in front of her right now but her tears just can't stop brimming on her eyes and falling down to her cheeks. Her chest is tightening maybe because she wants to unload her longing feeling that already got buried deep inside her heart.
Under the cherry blossom's last falling petals this year, Sana felt Yoongi's warm hand touches her cheek. If Sana asked him for introduction again right now, will Yoongi leave her again like 5 years ago?
Yoongi wiped Sana's tears making her vision become clearer. Sana pressed her lips into straight line when she can see clearly. Yeah right, he's Yoongi! His face, his voice, his touch. Everything is so real and she won't forgive the God if once again this is only a dream! Sana went speechless when her genius brain is done processing for what's happening right now, when her heart received a message from her brain and make her faith become realer. Yoongi is still here, he's not someone who killed himself two years ago and got buried in Park Family's cemetery.
"Sana...,"Yoongi sighed when Sana crashed herself to Yoongi's chest. Yoongi closed his eyes when he felt Sana's very tight hug until he can't breathe. Sana was hugging him like she's squeezing his body, never want to let him go again. After a long time, Sana wants to know why everything went like this. Why when Yoongi is still alive, she found that fact and should believe that Yoongi was already dead by suicide and Yoongi had never shown himself at all in front of them, in front of her! For two years long Sana has been fighthing alone, crawling hardly keep living normally for the sake of the people who love her. Even though Sana was sure that she become weaker, day by day when she missed Yoongi and wanted to follow him to the heaven. Sana wanted to give up for countless time. Sana wanted to blame everything in Yoongi, if Yoongi was late to appear in front of her like now maybe one day when Sana got tired deceiving herself to be happy, Sana will take the same path with him, end her life from the rooftop of 8 floors building where she had to believe that Yoongi jumped from there.
Maybe everyone could be tricked by Minatozaki Sana's smile. By the spirit that Minatozaki Sana had shown but they just never knew how broken and rotten herself for the past years to survive her life even just for one day. A day without her love, even just a day after she realized that she has already lost her baby that she should hug today. Enough, just enough. Sana has already give up with her lie. Sana has already give up with her sins. Now when Yoongi appeared in front of her, hugging her, Sana want to continue her life once again with this person.
Although that means that she will break another innocent heart.
"Yoongi-ah, don't leave me again,"Sana screamed but it was almost audible, too low and muffled in Yoongi's wide chest that she misses a lot.
🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸
Y'all don't let me kill Yoongi by answering my last question with Yoongi. Lmao. So this is it. I bring him back from the grave! (Lmao kidding)
Well yeah...
YOONGI IS ALIVE
Who's happy? 😊