Time went so fast and Tzuyu succeed to pass her surgery which was running for five straight hours very well although her condition hasn't stabile yet. Sana and Taehyung were always there to wait Tzuyu gain her conscious. Right now Sana tried to focus only about Tzuyu's condition. She still want to believe that Yoongi is still here in one part of this world, not like what she guessed before. Day by day Sana's thoughts became more positive yet her fear became bigger as well. Even so, she was still capable to hide them. She wanted to see Tzuyu before she go to find Yoongi. If something happened, Sana won't regret and she gained a strength from her beloved bestfriend.
"Sorry I'm late,"Jimin who just finished his job jogged to Sana and Taehyung who sat on the ICU visitor bench. Sana gave a small smile when Jimin kissed her forehead and asked whether everything is okay.
"Her condition is pretty good but Tzuyu still can't wake up yet,"Sana answered.
"Is your job going fine?"Sana asked.
"Don't worry, I can finish all my job. Now I will accompany you. Taehyung-ah have you eaten yet? I bring this to you,"Jimin gave a box of meal to Taehyung who smiled upon accepting his brother's kindness.
"Thank you Chim, but Sana hasn't eaten yet as well ever since this morning,"Taehyung said.
"I'm not hungry, really,"Sana shook her head to two handsome guys in front of her.
"You should eat, Sweetheart,"Jimin caressed Sana's hair and gave a gentle gaze.
"I'm really not hungry Oppa,"Sana said without hesitate. She really didn't have any appetite and it makes Jimin furrowed his forehead. It's unusual that Sana lose her appetite and Jimin realized that lately Sana ate too bit. Jimin smiled softly and caressed Sana's cheek.
"But I'm hungry. And I want you to accompany me,"Jimin grabbed Sana's hand and smiled to Taehyung.
"We'll be back,"said Jimin.
"Make sure Sana eat her meal Chim, although she said she's not hungry,"Taehyung smiled when seeing Jimin and Sana were leaving him. Even though he knew that Sana not only loves Jimin, but Taehyung can't side anyone and he wanted Sana to choose. Sana just climbed a higher level of her maturity and everything need process. That's right that Jimin is the one who got Sana first, he has more rights to own her but doesn't mean that Yoongi have no rights to love Sana as well. Sana also still can choose and if talk about time, that's maybe the only answer to this misery. Everything shouldn't be rush. Yeah, no need to rush but if Taehyung knew that Sana is pregnant with Yoongi's child, everything must be rushed.
JIMIN:
What kind of terror did you received, sweetheart?
"Oppa, why are we here?"
I turn aside and find my beautiful girlfriend looked confusedly when I park my car in front of Itaewon police station. I've decided after we had our dinner, I'll bring Sana here. There's something that bothering me, an unwanted bad feelings which bothering me ever since I came back to Seoul. That feelings went to it's climax when I saw Sana fainted this morning after she heard that guy who said someone committed suicide from 8 floors building in Itaewon and probably he was Yoongi. I can't stay quiet because I found many infelicity from every Sana's expression.
Why did Sana looked so shocked? Then her eyes looked empty and so dejected. I don't want to believe my bad thoughts which already conquered me from this morning but I must confirm. Because I'm sure, Sana has never changed. Her eyes when she talk with me is still the same with before. I believe that Sana still....
Loves me.
"We have to confirm whether the guy said is not Yoongi,"I said without hearing Sana's further response. I quickly unbuckled her seatbelt then mine then I hopped out the car. I found Sana is still sitting spacing out inside the car and I immediately opened her door.
"Sweetheart, are you okay?"I asked. Sana wakes from her daydream and give a small smile before she nod.
"Yes Oppa. We need to confirm, let's go,"
I saw Sana seems force herself. The Sana now is not like I knew before. Something had really happened. Yoongi's last confession, maybe I only heard from his side. That Yoongi has more than a brotherly feelings to me and he hurt the one I love. But how about from Sana...did Yoongi hurt her too much until she became like this or...
"Oppa?"
I got stupefied when Sana called me. Turns out I'm spacing out and she already walked before me entering the police station. I quickly follow her pace.
"Good morning, may I help you?"the officer greeted us in friendly way when we entered the office.
"Yeah. I want to ask something, about suicide case two weeks ago,"I answer, holding Sana's hand and I get pretty startled, feeling that her hand is too cold. I turned aside and find Sana's face looked so pale.
"Baby, are you alright?"I whispered to Sana. I don't know what's happening but seeing Sana's pale face and her trembling cold hand makes me terrified.
"Oh, sit down please, seems like this girl is not really unwell,"the officer says, maybe he realized that Sana's condition is not too well. Then we have our seat and I hold Sana's hand even tighter. Making sure that I'm here beside her, everything will be alright and I will always protect her.
"May we know the identity of the suicide victim two weeks ago?"I started.
"Hm..about that case...,"the officer opened a folder and studying that for a while.
"At 4 AM a pedestrian found his body already sprawled on the asphalt. There is no witnesses whether the victim committed suicide or got murdered but after we had some investigation, this case is purely a suicide case. After we'd done our autopsy, the victim jumped down two hours before he was found. There's no identity card nor something that hinted about his identity. His face was badly damaged because it smashed against the ground when he fell. His features is a guy in his twenties, height is 176cm with weight about 63kgs, light skin, black hair with black jacket and white polo shirt with faded jeans and dark blue Converse,"the officer explained.
"No. Yoongi hasn't reached 20 yet,"I said. I felt whenever the officer mentioned the victim's features, the strength on Sana's hand was getting weaker so I hold her even tighter.
"In his twenties, it can be more than 20 or less. Does the features matched with someone you know?"the officer asked.
Yeah. Every features he mentioned are really matched Yoongi's. Especially if the accident happened in early morning like the officer said, about 2 AM, he could be Yoongi for sure. Two weeks ago before the victim the officer mentioned killed himself, Yoongi indeed called me and confessed all his feelings and sins. I can say that Yoongi was devastated and guilty but I can't believe if everything will be ended like this.
No.
Because I'm sure that Yoongi is not this stupid. Yoongi is my brother, however he is the person I acknowledge as my own family. If Yoongi this sloppy, I can't forgive myself because I didn't realize his feelings all the time. If I was more sensitive and didn't close my world from my surroundings, maybe I could accept the happiness that Yoongi offered me.
"Is he die?"
I was stupefied when I heard the question that finally came from Sana's mouth. Sana locked her eyes with the officer. As if she needs an explanation and her gaze is still focus to the police. Her hand already slipped out from my hand and the tense that radiated from her face makes me realize that Sana doesn't aware with her surrounding right now.
"Of course Miss. Even though right after the ambulance immediately came, fell from 8 floors building and damaged face after hit the ground...it's a miracle if he is still here. Please accept my condolences for your loss...right now the body is still in the hospital, waiting for his relative to pick him up,"
Upon hearing the officer's answer, I feel my head is heavy, I feel my body is rigid.
Yoongi ended his life this tragically.
"Mi-Miss!! Miss!!"
I raised my head, startled when the officer shouted panickly and quickly stand up from his chair. When I realize with the reality that we face, once again Sana fell down and unconscious.
SANA:
Your life is too tragic. What the tragic means is someone who was born into this world to only get neglection, hatred, anger, loss, torment and downfall. Have you ever felt happy?
Yes you ever did.
But never gone, the pain on that pitiful heart. Even though he felt happiness, even though he smiled, even though he was grateful but still there's broken feelings.
Has life already playing on a powerless human? Who was he? Superman? Wonderman? The incredible? Maybe no, is there any human who ever have life as tragic as his and still survive till now?
Life was playing on him.
And when the savior came – what they called with love- everything has already late. He already destroyed it, he was already defeated earlier, he was too coward, he was afraid of light. He was afraid to just for once, feeling happy.
I see him. I see him walking further away following the light that he couldn't chase before. Why he chases it right now? Does his courage already come? I run after him, try to chase him, calling his name. Because if I can't reach him, I don't know what I want anymore to keep me survive. Even though he's walking, eventhough I'm running, I never could reach him.
"Yo-Yoongi...,"
He doesn't hear me.
"Yoongi...,"
He's still walking further away.
"Yoongi-ah!"
No. My scream can not be heard by him. He is walking further and further away and I think soon I will lose his figure. I see his back, leaving further away, make my chest tighten. Painful, aching. How saddening. I want to cry until my tears drained out.
"You cry too much and it doesn't suit you,"
That's right. I shouldn't cry. Yoongi won't like that. But what I suppose to do? Then what should I do? Yoongi is walking further away and I'm afraid, in a blink of eyes maybe he will disappear.
"Yoongi!"
"I want to tell you. If I deserved to once again feel love, if I deserved to get a forgiveness from you...I want to tell you. I love you Minatozaki Sana,"
I was startled and found Yoongi already standing in front of me, embracing my body tightly, burying his face on my crook. Both of us are already in his room and just like the other days, we are here together without anyone borthering us. I'm crying and reach his back, hug him back even tighter. I won't get separated from him.
"Yoongi...don't leave me. I need you,"I sobbed. I feel his heartbeat, echoing with my heartbeat very quick. His warm breath blows against my skin, make me drop my tears feeling how warm Yoongi's presence beside me. He's here, with me and I'm touching him, feeling his presence, having him just for me.
"I want to be with you forever Sana. I will never hurt you again and I will love you even better...,"
"If I still have more time...,"
I pulled away from his embrace and stared at Yoongi with disbelief eyes. Yoongi stares at me with sad eyes, his eyes and cheeks are drenched because of his tears. He looks want to hug me but he's incapable.
"I already gave up. I'm sorry,"
I bursted into tears upon hearing Yoongi's words. I realized now. Yoongi is gone....
"Why it's so hurt? Why we should went through all of this?"I cried. My chest is very tight, my feelings is really broken. I don't want to lose Yoongi who now is sobbing right now in my embrace.
If this is a dream...I don't want to wake up anymore!
*Save Me*
"Miss Minatozaki is refusing to wake up, that's what happening,"
That's what the doctor said to Jimin who only could stare at Sana with sad eyes. Jimin held Sana's hand tightly and kissed her knuckle, praying for Sana to wake up quickly and finish this mess properly. But it's already five days Sana hasn't woke up yet and Jimin knew this ever happened once before. Taehyung finally told him that Sana ever didn't wake up for days after seeing Yoongi got stabbed by a sword in front of her eyes. Yeah, Jimin already knew everything.
"That's how Miss Minatozaki take a break from her severe depression. Human will cry if they felt sad and surpressed, that's normal. That's one of the way to soothe their feelings, to release their burden but in Miss Minatozaki condition, bearing too deep sadness made her can not express her feelings anymore. If it kept happening it'll endanger her health,"
"Now we have to think how to wake Sana from her slumber, Doc,"Jimin said lowly.
"I can't make sure and we can't force her to wake up because it'll only destroy her unstable psyche condition. Probably she's looking for her happiness right now, meet something she wanted to see, doing anything that can make her calm. We only can let her calm herself first. Trust me, Miss Minatozaki will comeback and when it happen, try to approach her slowly,"
Jimin shut his eyes feeling exhausted. Everything was too hard for him but the most important thing for Jimin is Sana's safety.
"And about her pregnancy, I can't guarantee the fetus inside her womb will survive because her worsen psyche condition. Someone who got depressed can affect every cell of her body, affect her health condition and of course if she's pregnant, it can endanger the fetus. So I hope Mr. Park can prepare for the worst,"
What kind of sadness did you experience, love?
Jimin sighed heavily. After he knew that Sana is suffering into a depression and hasn't woke up yet for days and after he found out a bitter fact that Sana is already pregnant for two months, Jimin couldn't sorting and recognizing his own feelings. Whether he's sad, disappointed, angry, broken heart or maybe already destroyed. Jimin didn't know how to react anymore. It was obvious that Jimin already knew who the father from the fetus inside Sana's womb. And that man was already gone.
Angry and disappointed.
But for what? He can't blame Yoongi because Yoongi is already gone and another most important thing is... even though it's hard but Jimin realized that everything began from him. If only he realized what Yoongi felt to him, his pains, his jealousy, his ruination, maybe Jimin could prevent everthing that already happened up till now. If only he knew that the whole time who hurt Sana before and tormented her was Yoongi, maybe Sana won't be ruined like this. If only he was open minded and accepted Yoongi's effort to bring back the old him, Sana won't be a victim here and he won't be this devastated by the already too late fact.
Sana and Yoongi together, were tortured and torturing, were pitying and pitied, she lost in Yoongi's misery. Sana who already couldn't let her go from Yoongi and couldn't get any help from anyone was falling in Yoongi's weakness. It was a love. It was a true love where Sana could accept Yoongi's dark heart with all of her heart. If it was not a love, Sana wouldn't stay in Yoongi's side, Sana wouldn't hope that Yoongi will feel a happiness, Sana wouldn't be this damaged when she knew that Yoongi already committed suicide. And when Jimin realized that everything already went too late, Sana was already falling to Yoongi, and it began from him. The point of these three persons' misery is him, Jimin wanted to disappear from this world. The most important thing here for Jimin is, he already unknowingly pushed Sana to fall into her abyss of sorrow.
If only Jimin's life is not this bad, maybe Jimin wouldn't ignore Yoongi. Maybe Jimin could understand Yoongi and Sana wouldn't get involved with this chaos. Jimin indeed cursed his unhappy world but if he could open his eyes faster, he could find people who want his happiness more than anything. All the time, Yoongi was in his side no matter what happened.
"I'm sorry Sana...,"Jimin ducked his head, held his sobs.
If only I can turn back the time, I choose to never chase you and understand Yoongi. So everything would never end like this. I would never see you as broken as now.
🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸
3K views!!!! Thanks guys!!!
Anw guys, if you still confused with their misery. Here I give a small explanation. So, Jimin thought that the source of their (three of them) agonies is himself. If only he was sensible enough towards Yoongi's pure intention, if only he wasn't so stubborn thinking that he's the only one who's suffering here, he won't dragged Sana (although without his known) to her despair. Now three of them are already falling to the abyss and Jimin couldn't blame Yoongi for this, couldn't blame Sana for the betrayal. He blames himself because all of this won't happen if once again, he's not suffering all alone. He thought that he wasn't suppose to make Sana become the victim of their agonies.
I
genuinely can't choose between Yoongi or Jimin for Sana. Both of them deserve her but also don't deserve her. Don't hate Sana and say that she's stubborn playing with two hearts. She didn't. She genuinely suffered because of Yoongi, she blamed herself. Yoongi blamed himself. Jimin too. Three of them are too pure I want to hug....
W
ell, that's it. I hope you guys still love this story. Bye bye~