-Ava's POV-
My 30 minute shower does little to relax me. Instead it leaves me alone with my thoughts and I'm more anxious now then I was before.
Leaning against my bathroom counter I realize I only have an hour before I need to be at Chiltern. I need to either cancel now or start getting ready.
Not coming up with a legitimate excuse to give Harry I decide I better try to make myself look presentable.
I put my hair up and began to put on some makeup. I decide to keep it simple with a little blush to my cheeks, some mascara, and a light pink lip gloss.
After approving of my work I head to my bedroom to pick out my clothes. I pull out a dress from my closet then quickly put it back.
I need to be casual, Harry's always casual. And this isn't a date.
20 minutes later I finally settled on some light jean shorts and a white crop top. I add a few pieces of simple jewelry and put on my black boots. I grab a flannel shirt and tie it around my waist. I always end up getting cold at restaurants.
Checking myself in the mirror I groan, not happy with my look. Glancing at the clock I realize this is as good as its going to get. I need to leave now.
After a short taxi ride, I arrive at Chiltern. I've never been here before, it's pretty pricey and very hard to get a table at.
Walking inside, A new wave of nervousness hits me. After getting a dirty look from the hostess, I look around and suddenly feel very undressed. Crap! Should of stuck with the dress.
"Name please!" She barks at me.
"Ummm, it is probably under Styles"
Her eyes scan the list in front of her. "Right. You have a table outside in our courtyard. Mr. Styles has already arrived."
I follow a waitress through the restaurant and out a side door that leads to the courtyard. She points me in the direction of my table and I spot Harry.
I smile to myself when I see what he's wearing. His normal black skinny jeans with a white tank top and a dark blue beanie. Thank god! Now I'm not the only one at this restaurant not in dress clothes.
When he sees me walk up to the table, he jumps up and gives me a hug.
"Morning Ava, you look beautiful."
"Thanks, so do you."
Realizing what I just said, I quickly sit down and put my menu up in front of my face. I mentally curse myself at my stupid response. So do you!? Really Ava?
I hear Harry chuckling. Great! Just great!
"So ummm, what's good here?" I ask from behind my menu.
"Well... I usually get an omelet, but everything's good I think."
Before I can answer him our waitress comes to take our orders. Harry orders his usual and I get the same.
Now that my menu's gone I no longer have something to hide behind. Harry's dimpled smile is now in full view and I want to melt at the sight of it. God, he's good looking.
"Soooo Ava... about last night."
Not wanting to begin this conversation I quickly grab my portfolio from my bag.
"Here's my portfolio." I shove it across the table at him. "It has my ten favorite songs in it. I have a lot more if you guys want to see them. I just figured I would start with those. In the back there is a cd of recordings of all them. It's just me singing so its nothing special, but I thought maybe you guys would like to hear them instead of just seeing them on paper."
I stop when I notice Harry has an eyebrow raised at me and a smirk on his gorgeous face.
"I'm rambling aren't I? Sorry I'm just a bit nervous and when I'm nervous I tend to ramble and once I start I just can't seem to shut up and oh god I need to stop!" I put my hand over my mouth to make myself stop talking. Wow can this day get any worse?
Harry laughs and starts to look through the portfolio. God I'm so ridiculous. I want to bang my head against the table right now.
After about 10 minutes of him looking it over and me looking at everything around me but him, he closes it and places it down on the table.
I hold my breathe waiting for his reaction.
"Ava these songs are ace. Really good. The lads are going to love them."
I breathe a sigh of relief.
Harry's smile then fades. "I noticed most of them are sad though... About being hurt and losing love."
My breathe hitches in my throat.
"There's a lot of pain behind the lyrics."
I look down at my hands, fiddling with them, not knowing what to say.
"You don't seem like someone who lets others in very easily, but I want you to know I'm here if you ever want to talk about anything Ava."
He seems so genuine I just want to break down and tell him everything. Why I don't let others in. Why I ran away from home. How I want to move on but I can't.
But I can't tell him everything. I won't.
"They're just songs Harry."
"Are they?"
"Yes." I answer, finally looking up at him.
His eyes look so sad but so sweet at the same time. I feel like they are looking right into my soul, finding out my secrets, the ones I don't even tell myself.
My thoughts get interrupted as a plate is set down in front of me. Thank god. I could lose myself in those green eyes if I looked into them for to long.
We both dig into our food, not sure of what to say to one another.
I rack my brain for a topic to discuss. "So tell me what your writing process is as of now. I know you all wrote some songs on your current album. Did you write those on the road?"
He smiles, happy to have the silence broken.
"Some yes. We made up a lot of melodies just sitting around the tour bus. Some lyrics... Was just hard with the little time we had to take things to the next level ourselves. It was always pushed on to a writer back home to finish. And it never really got to what we would of liked it to be.. not with someone who doesn't even know us finishing it."
"And that's why you would like someone who travels with you?"
"Exactly."
We continued to discuss writing which then turned into how they started as a group and how close they all are now.
By the time we finished our food, which somehow took us almost two hours to eat, I had told him how I met all my London friends and about my love for writing. He told me about growing up in Cheshire and his family. He seemed to steer clear of the topic of my past, which I was very thankful for.
After insisting on paying, Harry suggests walking me back to my flat, which is about twenty minutes away. I gladly accept, not wanting to end our day.
Along our way a few fans stop us, wanting a picture with Harry. He happily takes one with each of them and gives them all hugs. It's easy to see that he really does love his fans.
The street becomes more crowded the closer we get to my apartment. We pass an older man playing guitar and Harry stops to drop some money into his hat.
We stand for awhile listening to him until Harry grabs my hand. "Dance with me."
"What?" I laugh. "We're in the middle of a crowded street."
"You still owe me a dance from the other night... So dance with me" He flashes me his dimpled smile and I know I can't refuse him.
He pulls me into his arms and we gently sway to the music. He smells wonderful as usual and I find myself leaning into him even more.
I don't even realize the song has ended until Harry whispers a thank you into my ear.
I feel my cheeks get hot as we pull away from one another and continue down the street. Realizing my hand is still in his I instinctively pull it away, shoving both my hands in my pockets.
Reaching the stoop of my building, I quickly tell him thank you and head up the stairs.
I'm stopped by his hand grabbing my arm. My hand comes out of my pocket and his travels down my arm, once again grabbing my hand.
Our eyes meet before I pull my hand away from his and turn to head up the stairs a second time.
"Why do you do that?" His voice stops me and when I turn back to him I see the anger in his eyes.
"Harry please." I begin but he cuts me off.
"No." He shakes his head at me. "Why do you pull away when I know you don't want to?"
"I do want you."
"No you don't want to. You just think you should."
I try to stay calm, but I feel my heart beat faster the angrier I get. Who does he think he is?
"You have no idea what I want." I spit at him.
"I know you wanted to kiss me last night, but you stopped yourself. Why?"
"You should leave." I turn to go inside but he grabs my arm again.
"What are you so afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid of anything." I raise my voice, staring him right in the eyes.
"You're lying." He says calmly, so sure of himself.
"You don't know anything about me Harry."
"Think I do... and that scares you."
I rip my arm away from him and run up the stairs, slamming the door behind me.
I barely make it into the apartment before I break into sobs.
Leaning back against the apartment door I try to compose myself. I haven't shed a tear in over six months and I've already cried twice since meeting Harry.
I barely even know him but he thinks he call tell me what I want? What I'm feeling?
I know damn well exactly what I'm feeling.
I'm pissed.
So so pissed!
Aren't I?
I slide down the door and onto the floor when the realization hits me.
I'm not pissed.
I'm just scared.
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A/N: If you are enjoying the story, please vote! It only takes a second and it would mean so much to me and to getting my story out there! Thanks!! ;)