(Dear Reader,
The initial three chapters of this work have been reimagined from a story I started many years ago but never completed. Upon revisiting it, I found that it felt a bit outdated and in need of significant revisions
- Misakisses 2024)
Chapter one - Big Adjustment
"I know this is a big adjustment" My mother said from the front seat of the car. This was more than a "Big Adjustment", this was my senior year of high school completely washed down the toilet.
"We should all be thankful Lawndale High was happy to have you transfer" my father said piping in as he drove.
My parents had been ripping out their hair trying to get me into Fielding Preparatory Academy, but in the end all their efforts had been for nothing. My parents hated the thought of me going to a public school, after all my years at St Mary's the most religious school in Dallas. But Fielding refused to accept me so close to the end of the year. At least school would only be a tiny memory, and I would soon be in collage.
Lawndale itself sounded like some sort of sad little town that was going to be the pain of my existence and just promote my parents very conservative views. I just got to keep telling myself that it's only for a couple of months.
Pushing deep breaths through my frustration, I stared out the passenger window, trying to tune out my parents' attempts to put a positive spin on the situation. The landscape morphing from familiar urbanity to the quiet monotony of Lawndale wasn't helping my mood. Each mile marker seemed to tick down the remnants of what I'd envisioned my senior year to be.
"This sucks," I murmured more to the window than to my parents, knowing that any complaint would be met with well-meaning but ultimately hollow encouragement. "It's just... everything was set, you know? I had plans."
My mother sighed, turning slightly to offer a sympathetic smile. "I know, honey. And your father and I are really sorry we couldn't stay in Dallas. But think of it as... a news adventure "
The town's welcome sign loomed up, the words "Welcome to Lawndale" adorned with images of happy, thriving families and community events—a stark contrast to the dark clouds settling over me.
"Maybe it won't be so bad," my father chimed in, his voice always a bit too cheerful when he was trying to convince not just me, but perhaps himself too. "New friends, new experiences. It's only for a few months."
As we drove through Lawndale's main street, the quaint shops and small-town charm did little to lift my spirits. The students I passed seemed to already have their own cliques, laughing and sharing jokes that felt worlds away from my reality. I already had trouble making friends, it took me nearly my whole high school life to have just one. There was no way I was gonna have friends here.
"Those teens look happy" My mother said pointing out the most perky looking cheerleaders I had ever seen "Maybe you could join the cheer squad"
That's was the last thing I wanted to do ...
The idea of joining the cheer squad at Lawndale High felt like a cruel joke, a stark reminder of how out of place I already felt in this new environment. The perky cheerleaders, with their bright smiles and infectious energy, seemed like a world apart from my own sense of disillusionment and isolation.
"Let's get settled in to our new home and order some pizza" my father said piping up again, he knew that mum was pushing her ideas on me again. She would have given anything to have a perky cheerleader as a daughter, along with beauty pageants and prom queen crowns.
The mention of pizza brought a small glimmer of relief to the tense atmosphere in the car. It was a simple gesture, but the idea of a familiar comfort like pizza in our new home offered a small sense of solace amidst the upheaval of our lives.
As we pulled up to our new house in Lawndale, I couldn't help but feel a pang of homesickness for Dallas, for the life I had known before it was uprooted so abruptly. The house, though charming in its own way with its red walls and big windows, felt alien to me, a big contrast to the familiarity of my old home.
Stepping inside, the scent of fresh paint and new beginnings filled the air. The rooms, still bare and waiting to be filled with our belongings, felt like a blank canvas, a new chapter waiting to be written.
My mother already bustled around, unpacking boxes and arranging furniture with a sense of purpose that I admired. Despite her efforts to make this new house feel like home, I couldn't shake the feeling of displacement that clung to me like a shadow.
"We drove past a pizza joint a few blocks ago" my dad said patting me on the back and handing me some cash "Go for some fresh air and bring us back something good"
Taking the cash from my dad, I welcomed the excuse to step out for some fresh air. He knew exactly what I needed, to get away from my frantic mother.
As I walked down the quaint street of my new home. It was quiet here, no sounds of the hustle and bustle of city life. At least it was a bit peaceful.
Walking through the quiet streets of Lawndale, the sense of isolation weighed heavy on my shoulders. The quaint charm of the town felt suffocating, each house a reminder of the life I had left behind in Dallas.
Passing by the local pizza joint 'Pizza King', I couldn't help but feel a mood of longing for the familiar comfort of my favorite pizza place back home. But as I stepped inside, the warm aroma of freshly baked dough and melting cheese offered a small comfort from my swirling thoughts.
Ordering a large pepperoni pizza, I found comfort in the simple act of placing the order, a reminder that even in this new town, some things remained constant. As I waited for the pizza to be ready, I let my mind wander, trying to shake off the heaviness that had settled over me since we arrived in Lawndale.
I looked around the room, booths were filled with teenagers. This was obviously the spot to come with friends. Everyone was here from each form of social click, pizza always had a way of bringing people together . Even if they didn't know it.
"It didn't even hurt" A Jock said confidently, his friends surrounded him in laughter and pizza "Nothing can kill Tommy Sherman"
"Plus the ladies love an injured man" one of the jocks playfully said "Although we all know you don't need help in that department"
"Who you taking to homecoming Tommy?" Another Jock questioned. I didn't want to listen to their banter but it was so hard to block it out.
"I'm getting so bored of the options" Tommy said confidently "we need some fresh girls around here, Lawndale girls are so plain"
As I listened to the jocks' conversation, a mixture of amusement and irritation stirred within me. Their casual banter about homecoming and girls felt worlds away from my own reality, a reminder of just how out of place I felt in this small town.
The mention of "fresh girls" and the dismissal of Lawndale girls as "plain" grated on my nerves, a stark reminder of the shallow attitudes that seemed to pervade this town. It was as if they saw the people around them as nothing more than accessories to be swapped out for something newer and more exciting.
As the pizza arrived, I collected my order and made my way towards the door.
"Who is that?" I heard Tommy voice ring out in my direction. I wanted to ignore it but I looked. All the jocks were staring at me like a piece of meet "It's like my prayers have been answered"
Tommy managed to creativity climb over his friends in the booth to reach me.
"What's your name?" He asked me.
Tommy's sudden approach caught me off guard, and I hesitated for a moment before responding. The intensity of his gaze made me feel like I was under a spotlight, and I couldn't help but feel a surge of nervousness.
"Uh, I'm..." I began, the words catching in my throat for a moment. Collecting myself, I squared my shoulders and met his gaze with a determined stare. "I'm Marilyn, Just moved here from Dallas ."
Despite the butterflies swirling in my stomach, I tried to maintain a calm exterior, hoping to convey an air of confidence that I didn't entirely feel. The sudden attention from Tommy and his friends was unexpected, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being scrutinized under a microscope.
Tommy's grin widened at my response. "I'm Tommy Sherman, QB."
Just moments ago, I had felt like an outsider looking in, but now, standing face to face with Tommy and his friends, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to hide myself.
"Ask her out Tommy" one of the jocks said yelling out at us.
"I heard city girls are wild" another one jeered.
The jocks' comments made my cheeks flush with embarrassment, their crude remarks cutting through the already tense atmosphere like a knife. I felt a surge of indignation at their assumption about "city girls," as if I were some kind of exotic creature to be tamed.
Tommy, laughed along with his friends. I was ready to run out the door, but my feet didn't want to move. These jocks a were assholes.
Despite the discomfort caused by the jocks' remarks, I held my ground, refusing to let their crude comments shake my resolve. Tommy's laughter, though joined with his friends, didn't sit well with me, but I reminded myself that his reaction didn't define me.
Taking a deep breath, I met Tommy's gaze with a steely determination. "I don't appreciate being objectified or stereotyped," I said, my voice firm despite the quiver of nerves beneath the surface. "And I certainly don't appreciate being the subject of your friends' crude jokes."
The jocks fell silent, their expressions shifting from amusement to surprise at my sudden assertion. Tommy's grin faltered for a moment before he cleared his throat, his expression growing more serious.
"I'm sorry, babe," he said, his tone softening a little. "They can be idiots sometimes. It's no excuse, but... I hope you can give me a chance to make it up to you."
His apology caught me off guard, and for a moment, I wavered.
"I'll consider it," I said finally, giving him a small nod. "But don't expect me to forget about this anytime soon."
With that, I turned on my heel and headed for the door, leaving the jocks behind with their pizza and their crude jokes. They started to wolf whistle but it was broken once the door shut.
As I stepped out into the cool evening air, I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over me. Thank god for that. Unfortunately I knew that wouldn't be the last I saw them. They were wearing Lawndale high colours.
Standing outside the pizza joint, I took a moment to collect myself, grateful for the fresh air and the distance from the jocks' crude behavior. As much as I wanted to forget about the encounter, I knew that navigating high school in Lawndale wouldn't be easy, especially with characters like Tommy and his friends around.
But I wasn't going to let their behavior define my experience in this new town. With a renewed sense of determination, I tucked the pizza under my arm and began the walk back to our new house. The quiet streets of Lawndale stretched out before me, it was going to be a long few months.
As I reached our house, the warm glow of the porch light greeted me like a beacon of comfort in the uncertainty of our new surroundings. Stepping inside, I found my parents unpacking boxes in the living room, their voices mingling with the familiar sounds of home.
"Hey, Marilyn," my dad said, looking up from his task with a smile. "You're back. Did you get the pizza?"
I nodded, setting the pizza down on the kitchen counter with a sense of satisfaction. "Yeah, I did. It smells amazing."
My mother glanced over, a concerned look in her eyes. "Everything okay, honey? You look like you've seen a ghost."
I chuckled, shaking my head. "Just adjusting to the new surroundings, Mom. It's... different, but I think I'll manage."
"I might just eat in my room, if that's okay," I mentioned, flashing my parents a small smile. After the evening's events, all I craved was some solitude.
"Honey, you know how I feel about eating in your room," my mother responded, her disapproval evident in her tone.
"Catherine, maybe we can make an exception this time," my dad interjected, offering me a warm smile. "She's been cooped up in the car all day with us."
I nodded gratefully at my dad's understanding, thankful for his leniency just this once. "Thanks, Dad. I'll make sure to be careful."
With a small smile, I headed upstairs to my room, feeling a sense of relief at the prospect of some time alone. As I settled in with my pizza, I couldn't help but reflect on the events of the day—the unexpected encounter with Tommy and his friends, the feeling of displacement in this new town, and the overwhelming sense of uncertainty that loomed over me.
Surveying the sea of boxes in my new room, I let out a heavy sigh at the daunting task of unpacking all my belongings.
The idea of escaping crossed my mind. I was already 18, which meant legally my parents had no control over me.
But deep down, I knew that running away wasn't the answer. As tempting as it was to escape the unfamiliarity and challenges of Lawndale, I had to face them head-on. This was my new reality, and I needed to find a way to make the best of it.
I finished my pizza and started unpacking my boxes. Each item I pulled out held a memory of my life back in Dallas, a reminder of the person I used to be. But as I arranged my belongings in my new room, I realized that this was a chance for a fresh start, a new chapter waiting to be written.
I pulled my cd player, out of one of my boxes. As I plugged it into the wall and let the familiar tunes fill the room, a sense of calm washed over me. The Cranberries were my favorite, I had listened to this a CD every day since it came out! Music had always been my solace, a constant companion in times of uncertainty and change. The lyrics and melodies wrapped around me like a warm embrace, grounding me in the midst of chaos.
As I continued to unpack and settle into my new room, the music served as a soundtrack to my thoughts and emotions. Each song carried memories of moments long gone, but also held the promise of new beginnings and possibilities.