My days were spent trying to motivate myself to do something, anything. The first few days, I walked. I stood and walked around the circle over and over. It was tedious work, but I got used to moving while keeping my mind clear. Baby steps were the only way to regain my strength, even though I became incredibly frustrated with my slow progress.
One day, when I was starting to walk normally, my door opened and someone walked in. As soon as I saw him, I lunged. I tried to claw at his eyes and hit him as much as I could, but I was so weak I only got one good scratch in before a guard pulled me off.
"Tsk, tsk." Ralphus waved his finger in front of my face. "Behave now, dove. This doesn't have to be hard."
"You poisoned my drink! You locked me up here! You took my throne!" I yelled angrily at him, but it came out as more of a rasp. The guard who detained me painfully twisted my arms behind my back.
"Don't be hasty now. You are my wife, after all." He smiled at me. It would have looked genuine if I did not know he had the soul of a jackal.
"Never call me that. I am no wife of yours. You are no one."
He walked around me in a circle, tapping his chin. "I am the king. I can do whatever I want." He winked at me.
I said with a straight, low tone, "I hate you. You are everything wrong in this world. The day you die will be soon, and on that day, I will be there. I will be your downfall, just as you have been mine. But I will rise again like the sun after the night, and you will be gone forever, remembered not even in memory."
He walked up close to me, leaning in so I could hear his whispered words. "What pretty words for a pretty girl, but remember who you are, dove. You are a weak," he kicked me in the shin and I let out a whimper, "manipulable little girl."
I spit in his face. "I hate you."
He wiped his face slowly with his sleeve. "Hmm...yes. Today, I thought we would take a little field trip you're not going to like. Come with me."
I attempted to kick and scratch as much as possible but the space I was given was limited. I was dragged through the hallways, my legs limp as I resisted. I screamed as much as I could.
From then on, I spent my days in my tower and my nights with my most hated enemy. I started running around my tower in long circles. At a point, it became too much. I had no plan. I had no chance. But even in the darkest of times, Hope shines like a beacon. I could feel hope, despite everything. Every night I left my tower, and maybe one night I would have my chance. So everyday I ran, and then I fought against any guard who put his hands on me. I never won, and my energy was leeching.
On one day, he came in alone and sat down. I glared at him, staying standing as far away as possible. "What are you doing here? Why are we not dragging me somewhere?" I hissed at him.
"I'm here to talk with you," he said. I stared at him, not saying a word. "I've decided we should stop being barbaric enemies. A little civility goes a long way."
"You are the one who treats me like an animal," I whispered.
"And maybe that can change if you behave. I have what I want. It doesn't need to be like this."
"I will never work with you. You took what you wanted. From me," I hissed at him.
"Quit being rude and listen to my proposal. Or should I have a guard gag you and hold you down while I talk?" I stayed silent, staring at the floor. "Good girl. Now...what was I going to say? Right. The kingdom is prospering. Well, the nobles are. No one asks about you, but that's because no one notices you're missing. They do adore you. Everyone does, they just think you're taking a hiatus from public life. No one even knows you're in this tower."
He continued, "I already knew you were quite the looker, but who knew how people adore you? Life favors the beautiful."
I put my head in between my knees, rocking forwards and backwards.
He did not let that stop him from talking though. "I want you pretty and cooperative, so that's what you're going to be." He smiled. "I do know how to charm a girl."
"Not one trapped in your cage." He was clearly attractive, with his dark brown hair and muscular form. When he was this close, I could see his eyes, and of course they were a perfect shade of green with a splotch of brown in the corner, like color had leaked out from underneath. It took a conscious effort to remember everything he had done, because in small flashes, he was just the kind man from Uesli's Day.
"You'd be surprised the way the brain can manipulate itself." He grinned. "So, what sorts of things do you enjoy?"
I stayed silent, glancing at him for only a second. But that second was enough for him to keep going. "You won't answer me, but I think I can guess. I bet you like flowers. Something pretty that smells nice. Roses? Lilies? Ah, yes, there were so many lilies at our wedding. That's it. And you probably like animals. You're sweet enough to like bunnies and horses and kittens. You probably like dresses and pretty things and pink. You're very easy to read."
He was right about it all, but I refused to give him the satisfaction. I stared at him, trying to blink as little as possible, with a stone cold expression.
"Would you stop hating me if I gave you lilies? If I kept you in your room instead of here? I bet it gets cold at night."
The thought was tempting, but I held firm. "Just leave me alone," I hissed.
He looked at me with an unbelieving glance. "I suppose you're with me most nights, though. How would you like to stay in your own room? Same sheets, nice fluffy pillows, that gold framed mirror to look at your pretty little face."
I stayed silent. I would not give him the satisfaction of any type of reaction, no matter how much I wanted to be in my own room. It made me shudder, knowing that he had probably been in my room. He had probably looked through all of my things.
"I've had your room restored to the way it was. I've thought about turning it into an office when you die, but I decided there's enough offices around. Maybe a guest room, or a child's room. I think you're dying, Guin. You're wasting away here, bit by bit, and soon, there won't be any more of you if you don't take me up on my offer."
He could have had me. We could have been beautiful and amazing. I could have fell in love with him and found something to live for. When I met him on Uesli's Day, I decided he would not be too bad to have as a friend for the rest of my life. He had been kind, and he seemed to understand me and be in the same sort of predicament. But he turned on me and now I wanted to never see his face again. "It's Guinevere to you," I said quietly.
He stared at me for a second. "I wish we could be cooperative, but we don't have the same interests. I know you want the peasantry to have better conditions, but that isn't possible. If you give poor people any hold, then the nobles will fall, and the peasants will kill my friends, my family. They are barbarians who give nothing to society, mooching off of the upper class. They do nothing useful. Our entire way of life will be destroyed. The economy will be in shambles, and inevitably the monarch would be slain and replaced by a tyrant. None of us will survive if we do it your way.
I think you have good intentions, but you are too ignorant to see the bigger picture. You're young, and you're naive. You don't understand the world, the way people think, and you certainly don't understand how to play the game." He leaned forward and he kissed me, his tongue tracing over my lip as I tried to recoil away. He grabbed my wrist and held me there.
When he pulled away, he said, "You have no idea the things I've done to get here, right now. I've turned my back on everything I believed in, but now that I've won, it's all worth it. You're stuck here because I outplayed you. You're going to give me your support, and maybe your life can be better while it still exists. You're going to be the best damn trophy wife ever because you have to do whatever I say. You've lost the game. You lost a long time ago. If you give the peasants power, you will be the first one they kill. And if you stay here... well, I'm not keeping you around long either."
I turned my face away from him, keeping my expressions straight. I had never thought of what the peasants would do once they had power, but maybe he was right. I prayed to Morgana right then and there. It seemed like my past days were too few, but I thanked her for each and every one of them I was allowed to possess. "I will get out of this prison. I don't know how, but I will. My gods aid me in justice, and that justice will be found in your death."
He laughed. "Your gods? Where were they when I put you here? Where were they when the darkness came and you were mine? Where were they when your family was slaughtered like cattle?"
I lunged at him, trying to claw his face off before a guard came in. He pulled me off, holding a knife to my throat. I recognized his face. He was older but strong, with his thick muscled arms. "How dare you, Officer Emmer?! I am your queen. This is treason, listening to him! What would your wife think? I remember. Her name is Olivia, and she would never look at you the same if she knew—" He clapped a hand over my mouth, kneeing my in the thigh. His other hand stayed at the knife pressing into my neck, detaining me. I could feel it waiting to break skin, the cold feeling that would stay with me for a long time.
Ralphus stood up straight, bleeding from nail marks on his cheek. "Fine. I tried to make this easy. But you want to play the hard way. Do what you will." He nodded at Officer Emmer. Then he walked out of the room, and the pain truly began.