T H O M A S
My alarm woke me up and I groaned. "Thomas get up!" I heard Alexander say and I noticed he was straddling me. I groaned and put my pillow over my face. "Thomas, it's the first day of classes!" Alexander yells as I got up almost immediately. He fell to the floor with a thud. "What are you doing Hamilton? Get up, we don't want to be late~" I teased making him groan.
"You suck." "Yeah well, you swallow." I said and pushed him out of my room. "Did you just-" He cut himself off and I could hear him walking away. I loved the guy but he walked right into this stupid shit. I changed into some skinny jeans and a plain white shirt and grabbed my hoodie. I couldn't survive without my magenta hoodie. I went over to the mirror in an attempt to fix the cloud that sat on my head all day.
I left my room and saw Alexander drinking a cup of coffee. "Took you long enough, prick." He spat making me chuckle. "Anyways let's go!" "What's your first class?" He asked me. "Creative writing." "Yo, same!" He said kind of sounding like Laurens. We quickly found our first class and inside sat Peggy, Samuel, Monroe and Burr (Who looked terrified for his life when Alexander walked in next to me) He sat with Peggy and Samuel while I sat with Burr and Monroe. "Aaron Burr, sir?" I heard Alexander innocently ask. "Let's fucking confer." He said smiling at Burr menacingly. "He's insane and I'm gonna die. Well, I've done everything I wanted to do at least...Stolen someone else's boyfriends, gotten one of my own..." I laughed as he accepted his fate of maybe dying.
The teacher walked in and I saw him write Mr.Adams on the board. "Lame!" I yelled when he started explaining class rules. What are we second graders? Those little monsters...I heard a snicker from Hamilton and his friends. Adams groaned and continued explaining what we had to do. "And what if we finished?" "Then fuck outta my classroom." Adams snapped as Hamilton flashed me a grin and left. How the hell...
"The kid always finished his work before we even tell them...Fuck that kid." I was finishing up my last page when Burr screeched. "He's threatening me?!" I laughed a bit and finished up my work. I looked at Burr's phone. Fuck you, it read making me laugh even more. I left the class and went to find Alexander. I heard snickering from the bathroom and I saw he sat on the counter as he texted Burr. "He thinks your gonna kill him." I told him making him jump and look up. "Your an asshole. Next time give me a warning." "Sorry but I have no way of contact you." I shrugged, "that's right...Give me your phone." I handed him my phone after putting in my password and he typed in his number. He texted himself to see if it was the right number and his phone buzzed. He grinned as I checked what he saved himself as. A-Bae. He showed me what I was saved as. J-bae. "People are going to take this the wrong way and assume we're dating." I told him honestly. I swore I heard a, I wouldn't mind come from him making me blush. I was sure I was hearing stuff. He was dating John. I was dating James. He loves John...right? We sat in the bathroom until we had to head to our next class. Turns out, we have the exact same schedule. We went through so many different classes and finally we made it to the one that mattered. "Debate class!" I yelled falling to my knees as Alexander stopped at the door and looked back at me.
"It's just-" "Hello, son." We looked up and I saw a man...a very familiar man...The very virginian- "Washington!" we both yelled and ran towards him to give him a hug. Our combined strength almost dropped him as he chuckled. He gave us a toothy grin. "Go take your seats boys." "Debate Class!" We chanted until everyone had arrived. He chose a topic that we had a week to research. Love. We would debate on what love was to us.
I couldn't start writing because I was confused. I looked over at Alexander 'Non-stop' Hamilton and he had the same confused look as me. "Aren't you dating John though? This should be easy for you." "Yeah but it's what Love is. Something everyone knows. Not just my experience." I mean, he wasn't wrong. I nodded and went back when it hit me.
Love is a feeling. An emotion. Yet, it's so hard to understand. It's confusing. Love is when you care deeply about someone. Love is scary. You never know how they may react. Imagine your dating someone and you fall in love with someone else.
You become confused. You don't want to hurt the first person but you only want to be with the second. What becomes of you then? You don't want anyone to blame you. Because it isn't your fault. You don't decide what your heart wants, what it wants, who it wants. You just can't imagine being with the first person. You want a life with the second one but you can never know how they'll react.
Maybe he's dating a very sweet man who you know didn't deserve to lose him. But this man you fell for has attached himself to you. No, you attached yourself to him at the wrong time. He loves someone and you do too. You want him. But your not what he wants. People will give you hope. So what I guess I'm trying to say is, brace yourself. You never know when someone is gonna reject you like that. Cheat on you. Stop loving you but they stay. You don't want to have that feeling. You hate the feeling and it's slowly killing you from the inside.
You just want it to be over. You wish you could trust it but you can't. You could fall in love with your enemy, a teacher, a criminal. It doesn't always work out. But sometimes it does. Because people have hope. So what I'm saying, if you love someone who you think doesn't like you back, go for it. The worse they can do is reject you. Then if they don't? You have someone who will love you for a very long time.
Just as I finished up the last sentence I looked over at Alex. he had like 15 pages done. I quickly sent it in and waited for the bell. When it rang I got up to leave the class but I was stopped by Washington. "I have to talk to you." He said and made me stay back as everyone left.
"This is very specific. Are you speaking from your own experience." Shit, he knew. Alexander gave me a questioning look, "um...go ahead without me. I'll meet you in the dorm." I said smiling at him. He nodded and left, closing the door behind him. Washington eyed me warily. "Is it..him? Do you like my son? When your dating James? And he's dating John?" I sighed and nodded slowly. "Oh Thomas..." he said. It hurt me. "I don't want to hurt James but I know Alex will never like me. He has this amazing guy who is actually the greatest person ever. John protects him..I can't be the one to do that." I told him. I was being completely honest.
"I met him two days ago. And yet so much has happened. He's known John for- I don't even know how long! He's happy. And That's okay...But I just wish it was me who he smiled like that to. I wish I could hold him like John does...I want him to be happy...Just, I want to be the one to make him happy. Is that bad?" I asked as he stared down at me. "It's bad isn't it.." I said, feeling the tears form. "No, Thomas! It isn't bad at all! Sometimes you just...can't control yourself..It's not bad at all. We're only human." He said and gave me a hug. "Thanks George." "that's Mr.Washington to you." I laughed a bit and pulled away from him. "Thank you. For everything you have ever done for me. But please don't tell Alex about this." I gave him a genuine smile when I saw him nod at me and I left his classroom. I had been with George for about an hour and when i made it to my dorm I could hear Alexander typing onto his laptop. The tapping of the keys were strangely comforting. I closed the front door and the tapping stopped. He walked out of his room and looked at me concerned. "Are you okay? What happened?" "I'm fine." "What did he tell you?" He asked a bit panicky which confused me.
"He talked to me about my essay. But I'd rather not go into detail." He nodded but I knew he wanted to know. "Wanna watch a movie? We can rent Hacksaw Ridge?" I asked as he stared at me confused like I was back when I asked him what Sister, sister was.
"It's a movie with Andrew Garfield." "The guy from Angels In America?" I nodded as he smiled. "Sure." "What's it about." "You'll see." I told him and turned on the tv.
"He couldn't save Smitty...He couldn't save Smitty!" Alexander yelled, "shut up and watch the movie." He kept making small comments about Desmond not saving Smitty. Then he remembered this was a true story and he began sobbing at the end of the movie. "H-he....he couldn't s-save S-Smitty Thomas!" he stuttered. "I think we should head to sleep." He wiped away his tears and we turned off the tv and went to our rooms.
Once again I was having trouble sleeping. Then my phone screen lit up.
A-bae;You still up?
J-bae;Yeah
A-bae;wanna just..talk?
J-bae;sure
I spent the whole night talking to this man. I couldn't help but feel so lovestruck with him. Everything he said was just so...amazing. Is this how Maria feels around Eliza? Everything about Alexander is amazing. I wanted to stop liking him but at the same time I didn't. For once I wanted to wish. I wanted to wish like it would come true. I wanted to see the stars, to hear the crickets of the night chirping. I wanted to know that no matter what I did, he would still be my friends. He would still keep me in his life. I wanted him to stay, to smile, to hug. To be happy.
I wanted him to like me.
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1832 words
Getting more serious now. I might be referencing some other Jamilton fanfictions from time to time or actual books.