Kat hadn't slept much that night and the next morning she woke up early enough, taking advantage of the situation to get off to make breakfast for everyone.
Carl was the first one to get up after her and after arriving in the kitchen sleepy, he had greeted her quite perplexed, not understanding why Kat was still there.
After Carl it was Judith's turn that crying, attracted everyone's attention.
Once she had settled Judith, Kat sat on the couch with a book in her hand, waiting for Rick to wake up.
She was absorbed in the reading and hadn't noticed that Rick was admiring her in silence from the other side of the room, leaning against the wall. When she looked up and saw him, she closed the book and pointed to the breakfast on the table. Rick followed her gesture and, thanking her, he had gone to sit with her on the sofa.
<Don't you eat?>
<First of all I wanted to thank you for last night. I don't know what got me and I'm sorry you saw me like that but... I had to tell someone and I could not tell any of those here. No one except you - he raised his hand and stroked her cheek making her blush - thanks Kat. For what you do for us and for me. It may seem little to you but I assure you that it is not: the weight of this thing was devouring me from the inside and I couldn't take it anymore to keep it inside me. Then with everything that happened yesterday...> Kat listened to him in silence, feeling guiltier and guiltier not being able to tell him what was devouring her instead.
<Thank you> Rick whispered before kissing her.
Kat smiled and after looking at those deep eyes, she got up.
<Have breakfast before it cools. I have to go now, but I'll see you soon> Kat told him before kissing him and leaving.
Once outside the gate, away from prying eyes, she finally felt free to let a tear escape. Those of Alexandria were good people and didn't deserve the treatment the Saviors were reserving to them. She wanted to help them, but helping them meant going against Negan, and it was never a good idea. He had already spared her once and wouldn't have done it a second time.
Kat was faced with a difficult choice: Alexandria or the Saviors?
Which eventually was reduced to: Rick or Negan?
She wanted to save them both but it wasn't possible. She had to choose.
Once back home, seeing Negan gave her a bite in the stomach as if they had just punched her.
In her mind the thoughts followed one another quickly, leaving no time to understand what was happening. She had to think rationally for a moment to decide what to do but first had to clear her mind.
This situation is becoming too complicated. Rick is a good person: he gave me a chance and I want to help him. But even Negan gave me a chance, in his way... I have to understand what to do but there are too many unknowns: if Negan wakes up? Now or in a few days? Maybe in a few weeks or months, or if he doesn't wake up anymore? And how can we stop the Saviors?
Kat had gone to take a shower, hoping that the water would let all those thoughts slip away, and once outside she actually felt lighter.
Then she wrapped herself in a large towel and went to sit in front of Negan.
Silence allowed her to think clearly.
Not knowing if and when Negan would wake up, she would have to act as if he was dead.
First of all Kat would have to go back to the Sanctuary to understand how things worked now. Then she would pass the information to Rick, so he could prepare an attack. And then she would take sides with Alexandria to destroy the Saviors.
It seemed like a good plan, and certainly it was the most reasonable, but there was only one thing left to settle: Negan.
Could ahe take him with her to Alexandria without them killing him once they got there? What would he do if he woke up in Alexandria?
These were questions that Kat could not answer, but she would still be working the day after leaving for the Sanctuary.