I don't want to open my eyes again.
Sana woke up with rushing breath. Her head felt dizzy, too dizzy especially her fluttering eyes. Sana woke up and woke up again. As if she slept in layers of dream. The same dreams. Where Yoongi is gone.
"Sana you okay?!"
Sana turned around and found a familiar figure.
"Hoseok Oppa...Jin Oppa...,"
"Seems like you were having a long dream,"Jin gave a glass of water to Sana. Sana just stared at the water Jin gave.
Is this another dream?
Sana pinched her arm hardly.
"Ouch!"Sana jolted.
"Ouch! Yah Sana what are you doing?!"Jin automatically copied her response then grabbed Sana's arm.
"Oppa please pinch me,"Sana asked.
Jin and Hoseok were looking at Sana with hesitation and heartache. They thought maybe Sana felt she's still dreaming with everything she had experienced.
"Oppa, please,"Sana begged.
Finally Jin complied her request and slowly his hand reached Sana's arm.
This is not a dream!
Sana's tears were flowing down when she felt a pain on her skin.
"Sana did I pinch you too hard?! I'm sorry!"Jin panicked when seeing Sana suddenly cries..
"Sana are you alright?"Hoseok asked with worries tinted on his cute face.
Sana roamed her sight around the room. She is in hospital! Sana now remembers everything. She remembers what happened. She remembers which one is the reality!
"Oppa, where's Yoongi?! Is he okay?!"Sana asked frantically.
"Calm down Sana. You should calm down first,"Hoseok said in sad tone. He couldn't take to see Sana's condition right now. Sana who was always shining brightly like a sun in his eyes. Who met unfortunate in her life. Sana who is now too fragile and broken.
"No Oppa! Tell me where's Yoongi?!!! Tell me!!!"
At the moment, Tzuyu and Taehyung entered the room. Tzuyu quickly ran and hugged Sana when she saw Sana already woke up.
"Sana finally you're awake!"Tzuyu said emotionally.
"Tzuyu...Tzuyu-ah you're here!"Sana hugged her back. Feeling relieved after seeing her bestfriend, Sana felt a little calm. But not after what happened to Yoongi strikes her mind again.
"Tell me where's Yoongi!"Sana's tone now sounded like an order, strong and dominant.
Tzuyu bit her lower lip. Sana had been sleeping for almost a week because of her severe depression. It was acute but too dangerous. Tzuyu didn't want the depression Sana is suffering will develop to be something chronic if suppression always attack her without rest. Long slumber actually can't cure her at all. When she woke up, of course Sana would remember everything that happened to her.
"Yoongi is alright. Yesterday he just got discharged from ICU and now he's in a regular ward just like you,"Taehyung finally voiced.
"ICU?"Sana asked with rounded eyes. ICU. Of course ICU. Yoongi was stabbed by a long sword on his back throughout his chest and Sana was afraid it pierced his heart. Sana couldn't believe that Yoongi already moved to a regular ward. They could decived Sana so she won't be worried.
"Sana calm down. You can visit him,"was what finally Hoseok told her.
***
Right now Sana is running with all of the rest of her strength. Ignoring other's warning when she decided to check by herself how's Yoongi condition right now. Sana entered the room that Hoseok mentioned and she was panting hard when she entered the room. Sana immediately focused with herself again and raised her face after gathered a breath, looking straight to her front. Tears were brimming on her eyes. Her chest was aching but also happy.
You're still here...
Slowly Sana walked closer approaching patient's bed. She looked at the calm sleeping face with bandage wrapping around his chest. Sana mentally screaming upon seeing the wrapping bandage. She touched the bandage then moved her palm to Yoongi's face. The memory about that bad event was recalled. Sana's heart shrunk when she remembered the bloods that haunted her dreams. Yoongi who is sleeping soundly ever since before she came finally woke up when he felt a familiar warm touch.
"Sana...,"
"Yoongi...Yoongi-ah...you're safe,"Sana hugged Yoongi tightly.
"Argh...,"Yoongi groaned feeling the pain when Sana crashed his body.
"Ah...I'm sorry!"Sana quickly released her hug frantically but Yoongi held her arm so her position was still like before. Their face were facing and staring to each other.
Sana smiled in relief realizing that Yoongi is still here. Touching her. Breathing against her face. Yoongi is still alive.
"I'm afraid to dead when hearing that you've been kidnapped,"Yoongi said.
"I'm afraid to wake up from my slumber thinking that you're gone because you protected me and got stabbed by a sword,"Sana whispered in sad tone.
Sana buried her almost crying face under Yoongi's chin. The dreams she had experienced when she slept made her realized that she doesn't want to lose Yoongi. She doesn't want to lose someone she protect with all of her soul, which made her sacrifice with all of her heart. The person whom unconsciously...already entered her deepest heart.
Yoongi in other side, was shocked by himself. He had done so far for Sana's sake. When he heard that Sana is being kidnapped he felt the same fear when he witnessed his mother hung herself in front of his eyes. As if he didn't want to lose the most important person in his life.
Yoongi repelled that thought immediately. He loves Jimin, not Sana. Sana gave him a different impression. She's gentle and affectionate, she's fragile and wanted to be protected. Sana gave hopes and happiness which is taboo for Yoongi who sealed his world form happiness after he lost his mother.
Yoongi hates Sana.
Because Sana made him hopes that he can feel happiness once again.
I hate you because whenever I see you, I think happiness is exist
Wouldn't it be better if I break you before you break me with a pseudo happiness?
But why when the thoughts about you may disappear from this world makes my world even darker?
If you're gone, I don't know what will happen to me again. That's why without hesitate I ran to protect you. Even from a thousand swords and darts I'm not afraid. As long as I can protect you who already gave me hope about that happiness.
*Save Me*
"This is too late,"Taehyung exhaled a heavy breath and leaned on Yoongi's ward door. Tzuyu who also followed Sana along with Taehyung sat weakly on the bench beside Taehyung. Her eyes were focus on the floor.
"Both of them unconsciously already dragged to each other...,"Tzuyu murmured.
Taehyung ducked his head. He recalled when he told Yoongi that hate and love have a thin borderline and Yoongi couldn't figure out his own feeling properly. Taehyung has been already became Yoongi's friend for years, he knew exactly how Yoongi's feeling towards Jimin. Love? No. Obsession? Also not. To be exact it was called by a big admiration. If you admire someone or something from someone you will fight to protect him/her/it right? Yoongi admired Jimin's smile which first he saw and with that reason when the smile disappeared, Yoongi was suffering. He lost, he was lost, he wanted to bring back that smile. No, it doesn't have a thin difference with love but it's like a refraction. Like something similar but different. Taehyung knows what Yoongi felt is not love like Yoongi thought. It was so clear when Taehyung asked Yoongi about his desire to make love with Jimin, the older guy was shaken. Not indicated that yes, he wants to make love with Jimin but Yoongi was shaken because unknowingly he never think about that with Jimin, he just wanted to protect Jimin's smile. That's all.
"Won't you do something about your bestfriend Tzuyu-ah?"Taehyung asked. Tzuyu shook her head. Both of them could only have a proper talk and get serious if talking about Sana's issues.
"I think Sana is still confused right now. If I verbalized my opinion now, it'll be too rush,"Tzuyu answered.
"Hey, your bestfriend is involved in a complicated triangles love. And this is not a light issue...just like what I feel to you. I can die because of this feeling...,"Taehyung raised his face to look at the hospital ceiling. Tzuyu formed a fist upon hearing that.
"Silly. No matter what you expect in the end everything won't end as your wish,"Tzuyu stood up and leave Taehyung who is still looking at the ceiling.
Walking without hesitate leaving the place, Tzuyu pressed the elevator button and entered the empty elevator. Her head is hurt ever since this morning but she holds it with all of her strength, acted strong and as if she's fine in front of Sana. But in fact either her body nor heart were already encroached by misfortune and misery.
"How long I can hold on? I want to disappear faster...I want to disappear so you won't be suffering too long,"Tzuyu whispered under her breath.
***
"Taehyung-ah! This is bad. I heard that Presdir Park had sent Jimin's resignation letter to school!"Namjoon was panting after chasing Taehyung who just exited his class.
"Hyung? Ehm...yeah, that's true,"Taehyung answered weakly.
"This is a joke right?!!! Jimin won't get transferred and will be graduated with Hobi, Jin and me from this school!"Namjoon shook Taehyung's shoulder as if Taehyung was the cause Jimin got transferred from this school. At that moment, Tzuyu accidentally exited the class and heard their conversation.
"Tzuyu-ah...,"
"Don't tell Sana,"Tzuyu said sternly. Taehyung nodded.
"Hyung, that letter hasn't processed yet by headmaster. I asked my father to negotiate with Park. Calm down Hyung, I also want to see all of you to be graduated together from this school,"Taehyung patted Namjoon's shoulder who looked still worried.
"Now what we should think about is how to help Jimin back to Seoul,"Taehyung said. His stare was empty, his mind was flying far to Beijing. Bring all of BTS members there, cooperate to beat Park Family's bodyguards then bring Jimin to escape to Namjoon's jet plane or is there any smooth way to negotiate directly with Presdir Park? Which one the safest way?
"Taehyung-ah! Taehyung-ah!"Namjoon called when Taehyung didn't hear anymore what Namjoon is talking about. Taehyung immediately swept his thoughts and looked at Namjoon again.
"Better we talk about this together with the others at the usual club,"Namjoon suggested.
"Yeah Hyung,"
Namjoon then asked permission to go back to his class and Taehyung turned around to look at Tzuyu who's still standing in front of the door. Tzuyu who was unknowingly staring at Taehyung ever since before got startled and quickly looked away then entered the class. Taehyung formed a thin smile upon seeing Tzuyu's behavior avoiding him like that.
As long as my eyes still catch you, baby girl....
***
Yoongi woke up and found Sana is sleeping soundly beside him, her hand is holding Yoongi's hand tightly. Eventhough his chest is still hurt a lot, Yoongi should be grateful because the sword just hurt his lungs and didn't pierced any big veins and his heart. Because lungs is full of oxygen which is good for healing, doctor said that Yoongi can go home after two weeks in hospital and continued the treatment at home. Since Yoongi came back, Sana has been always accompanied and helped him in so many things. Even though sometimes Sana still got nightmares about that day, both of them could overcome the situation properly.
"Hngh....Yoongi...,"
Yoongi was startled when hearing Sana calls his name. That girl is still sleeping soundly. Realized that Sana is talking in her sleep, Yoongi just smiled sadly. Sana is not supposed to call his name. Not even when she's full conscious. After that day, with his shock Sana has never been mentioned Jimin's name again. As if her world had already been reseted after falling into acute depression, Sana forgot everything right when she woke up from her long slumber.
This is wrong!
Sana opened her eyes and met Yoongi's eyes who has been staring at her ever since he woke up. A soft smiled is formed on her lips everytime she woke up and found Yoongi's face in front of her.
Yoongi is still alive.
Even though it's already two weeks after the bloody event but Sana is still afraid that she's still dreaming. Her hand is still holding his hand tightly. Scared that Yoongi will eventually disappear. Ah, thinking about the too significant heart situation changes felt too weird but also too real. Sana also without hesitation and fear again when facing Yoongi, focused with her feelings to don't want lose him again. Sana pulled Yoongi's hand closer to her face. Slowly she kissed Yoongi's cold back palm.
Sana shouldn't forget about Jimin!
In Yoongi's mind filled that sentence. Everytime he sees Sana's sincere and warm stare, her soft touch and sweet smile, Yoongi in between lulled but also he wanted to pull the reality curtain. Everytime Sana called his name, Yoongi wanted to mention Jimin's name to see how Sana's reaction will be. Make her realize that there's another pitiful guy who loves her sincerely. But Yoongi couldn't do that. His heart became heavy whenever he wanted to bring Jimin's name, too heavy compared when he tried to let Jimin to be with Sana. He supposed to bring back and protect Jimin's smile! This girl is the key! But there's kinky feelings inside his heart which he doesn't want this girl bring back Jimin's smile. Sly. Yoongi is playing shifty.
"Yoongi, I'll wipe your body. Wait a minute,"Sana released her hold and climbed down the bed, walked towards the bathroom to get washcloth and basin filled with warm water. Not too long after that, Sana came out with a complete preparation, didn't miss Yoongi's new shirt and a towel. With Sana's help, Yoongi unbuttoned his pajama and Sana started to wipe his body.
"Yoongi why your back is filled with scars? What scars are this?"Sana asked when she wiped Yoongi's back.
"Lash scars...because of my step father,"Yoongi answered calmly. Sana bit her lower lip, her fingers were trailing the scars which filled Yoongi's back. It looks like a painting. It is painful to see but aesthetic as well. But simply it made Sana's heart crumbled. Sana knew that Yoongi wasn't touched by affection, but she didn't know that his contidion was too severe.
"It should be hurt so much,"
Yoongi almost couldn't breathe when he felt his back was touched by butterfly kisses. Trailing every scar which decorated his back. Slowly so Yoongi won't feel hurt on the still injured part, Sana kissed the scars and ended by embracing Yoongi from behind.
"I won't let you back to the painful world anymore," Sana whispered behind Yoongi's back. She breathed against Yoongi's skin. Yoongi closed his eyes, holding his tears. Is affection this tender? Is happiness this warm? Why it's too hard to reach and should go through hate and misconception? Why they should wrapped by sin if what they felt right now is not wrong and bring peace inside their heart?
"Sana...stop,"Yoongi closed his eyes once again. Sana who was giving butterfly kiss again on Yoongi's back stopped doing her work. Oh no, actually Yoongi still wanted to feel Sana's touch if he didn't follow his guilt.
"You can't forget him like this,"Yoongi almost whispered.
🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸
Sooooooo... Yoongi is alive 😁
For my readers who want Jimin to back, don't worry he'll be back in a few chapters 😊
And happy eid mubarak for my Muslim readers 😘