Chapter 28.
I was cuffed, sitting in a chair and waiting for something to happen. All my screaming had paid off and two guards had appeared. I didn't exactly want to speak to them, but I wanted them to take me to my father. He was officially in charge now, since Felix is alive but is only a baby. My father will take charge until Felix comes of age. I may be new to this werewolf lineage and pack laws, but the transfer of titles was the only thing that I really understood.
The guards took me back to my father's office and had made sure I was cuffed and unable to get up. The silver in the chains only burned if I moved them, so I tried my best not to move. If I moved, things wouldn't go so well. The guards were watching me like a hawk, and one wrong move could cause them to attack. For all I know, the next hour may be my last. I didn't know how much longer I had, but if I was going to be executed, at least my father knew the entire story. He needed to know that everything I did, I wasn't in my right mind.
I wasn't afraid to die if anything, I knew how much I deserved it. If I was going to die, the truth might as well be revealed to someone. It might as well be to the man who had lost his son, my brother. I knew where I was going when I died, and with the sacrifice completed, I would be able to reign as the Moon Goddess. I would be able to finally protect my family since the current one is doing a terrible job at it.
"Rise as your Alpha enters." The guard had instructed and I stood up immediately, the silver digging into my wrists. I cringed but ignored the pain as best as I could.
I watch as my dad avoids eye contact with me as he takes a seat across from me behind his desk. I watch him take a deep breath before opening a manilla folder. He opens it, looks through the papers and runs his hands through his hair. I can tell he's frustrated, and I can tell there's a difficult decision he needs to make.
He gestures his hand in front of him, but I don't understand what he means until each guard places one hand on my shoulders and push me down into the chair. With the unexpected force, the silver burns into my skin making me hiss in pain. I looked down at my chains, tears welling up. I couldn't believe still that my life was going down this path.
My father pulled out a piece of paper and began reading it. "Eighty-five percent of the pack believed your execution is necessary."
"I understand," I said, nodding with my head held low.
"The majority of the people who disagree are your friends and family." He put the paper down and looked at me with sorrowful eyes. "I don't want my daughter to be killed, but it's the pack's wishes."
"I deserve what I get," I paused. "I did kill Clayton after all."
He visibly winced, collecting the papers and putting them back in his folder. He leaned over the table, and I finally got a look over at him. My father looked like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. His aquamarine eyes looked dull and void of any happiness. It broke me that I was the cause of so much unhappiness.
"You constantly are telling people that you deserve what is difficult to decide." My dad grabbed a pen and looked between two sides. "Being Alpha puts me in the position with decisions, but family is something I don't ignore. I lost my sister and my son in the war that is finally over."
He signed a side, and I couldn't figure out if he had put it in the approval or decline of my execution. Though he hardly had any say during this vote, for this, he was just another person. Even if he had signed for me not to be executed I was still going to die. A vote even for an Alpha was equal to the rest of the pack, and since I was his daughter that ensured that. They couldn't let him be biased with any power he had. They were the rest of the pack and the high ranked members as well.
"You are my daughter, and as much as it kills me," he looked down at the paper with a weary face. "I, unfortunately, have to inform you that you'll be killed."
"Can you please hear me out?" I asked, hoping to not let my father have my blood on his hands. "Maybe I can get myself out of this.:
"What could you possibly say to fix this Penelope?"
"What if I said it was an accident?" I inquired, reaching over the desk to rest my elbows. The silver burned, but I did my best to ignore any pain I had.
"Half the pack is a witness to the drowning of Clayton." My father clenched his fists, a muscle in his jaw bulging out. "There is no way to clear your name."
"Insanity," I told him, tears welling in my eyes. "Insanity is justifiable, and..."
"You're not insane Penelope, you've just been through a lot."
"You're wrong." I snapped, my eyes turning into slits as my blood began to boil. "I see things that aren't there, faces that are dead, and I can't figure out what is real and what is not."
My dad was silent as his eyes seemed to soften and his true character had shown through. He looked sad, almost as if he had failed. He didn't want to believe what that I was insane, that all my time of suffering had caused this. I could see how much he blamed himself. I could see it in his eyes. The time I had kidnapped as a baby to now had created the worst thing possible for me. The one thing that he probably thought would never happen.
"This could change everything, Penelope." He groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Why did you run in the first place, this could've been sorted out without the time between. Why didn't you even say anything?"
"I did what mom would do," I said quietly, but I knew he could hear me. "She ran when she got scared, Oliver told me that."
"Celia would run, but she knew it was always better to stay." My father got up and turned to the guards. "Arrange a meeting with my most trusted members so I can discuss with them."
"Of course Alpha Cooper." The guard said, leaving the room.
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"And before I even realized my brother was in the water he was already dead." I ended my statement with the many eyes in front of me.
"And this is all true?" My Uncle Adam asked, turning towards my father. "Cooper I don't know about this, the pack won't listen."
"They'll have to listen he's their Alpha." My mother stood up from her seat next to my dad as she shouted at him from across the room.
"Cooper, Celia, Adam," My grandfather Patrick boomed, standing up and look at everyone in the room. "Control yourselves and your feelings. Discuss this properly or I'll control this trial."
"We are." My father scowled at his father and looked towards me again. "Do you have anything else to say?"
"No." I looked down at my hands. "Just that I'm sorry for killing my brother. I know he wouldn't want me to be killed if he knew the truth."
I turned my head to see my brother Clayton with his arms crossed over his chest, his lips a blue color. I knew he was dead, though every time I saw him my heart skipped a beat. Perhaps it was because I wanted him alive and with his family. Maybe it was as though I felt like I deserved to be dead and he alive.
"Well he isn't here now is he?" I looked over at my cousin Shaw who was scowling at me, his face turning red with anger. "Our Alpha-to-be was killed because of you and now I won't be Beta until Felix is old enough to grant me that."
"Well that's your own damn problem now isn't it," I screamed, slamming my hands on the podium. "I didn't mean to kill Clayton, I thought it was Ayana I've told you twice already."
"We understand that Penelope, we must discuss this privately." He nodded to the other members and he stood up. "Please wait here."
Everyone exited the room, and just like that, I was alone by myself. It was the first chance I had to get a real good look at the place I was standing. It was similar to a court, but wolves were designed into every portion of the wood stands. It felt weird looking over at the people who were opposing me. They were looking at me with such hatred. Though while looking around at the faces, I could easily tell that they were not happy to even be in the same room as me.
Everything in the room was dark, like any second I could be engulfed in it. It felt dangerous to be in it like once I was sentenced the people in the room would start throwing stones at me. I felt like any punishment I were to receive I would need it. I half believed I deserved it, but the logical side of me knew that I couldn't stand being a ghost to all the people around me. I couldn't let my mother lost a child and I couldn't let my mate Lucian live on without a mate. He would have a difficult time running the pack. Some may not even see him as a fit enough Alpha and could be removed from power so his mother, Trixie, and his father, Jeremy, take his place.
The stand in front of me was chipped, probably from the number of claws that had been dug into it through anger. It was hard to think about all the people that had stood in front of their Alpha, my father, perhaps pleading for mercy. I had so many questions about the people that had stood in my place. They were people with parents as well, with children perhaps. Some may have been innocent but were still sentenced to death. Some were probably guilty but had gotten away with it. Me though, I couldn't figure out where I fit in.
I fit in with both parties I can guess. On the inside, I knew I was killing someone, just someone who wasn't my brother. I saw a woman who had been the cause and result of all my suffering. Ayana had given me suffering and pain that no one had probably ever felt before. She had made me hate the way I never thought I would hate before. She stirred up so many emotions in me that were dangerous. On the inside, I had believed I hadn't killed her previously. If I thought I didn't kill her than I knew she needed to be killed once and for all. This was the result of my brother's death.
To the people looking on the outside of me, and not knowing what was going on inside they saw a completely different picture. They saw a girl who had only arrived months ago with something completely off about her. They saw someone who had drowned their Alpha over the bloodthirst of war. They had seen someone who felt no mercy as they killed their own brother. They didn't understand what was going through my head. They didn't understand anything.
Looking back on my first rescue, it was hard to imagine how I could've gotten here. Occasionally I wonder what would've happened if I had been raised home. I probably would've met Lucian a lot earlier in my life. Perhaps I would've been happy with our children in my arms. I would've still been the Moon Goddess and the witch would've been a problem, but I would've been happy. I probably wouldn't be seeing as many dead people, which means I would've been feeling like I was losing my mind.
"How do I live with this?" I asked myself, looking around the room as I felt my heart race.
I couldn't answer that question. There was no way I could. My question was something I truly didn't know. There was nothing I could do if I were to survive this. My brother would still be dead and my pack would still hate me. If anything, I cannot stay here anymore. I can't live in a pack where a large percentage loathes me. What life would that be like for me? For Lucian.
There was always the possibility of my moving to Lucian's pack, though he wasn't that much further from my father's pack. The news of my murder had definitely reached the pack, but even if I had lived there I wouldn't feel accepted. In fact, I probably would be accepted anywhere in the northern hemisphere. There were packs spread all around the world, perhaps if I were to survive this we could start our own pack somewhere else.
Things here would never work out for me, and living here would definitely not make me anywhere near happy. I wanted to start over and be happy. If I were to have children, I didn't want them being forced to live a life the way I do. I don't want them possibly being in the same position that I am. They don't deserve it, I feel like I don't even deserve it. If I make it would of this, which I may or may not, the best solution would be to start a new life.
Moving away and starting over would definitely not fix anything. It certainly won't benefit me completely. I'm still seeing the dead, and I'm still seeing so many different things. I'm hallucinating things that aren't there, and moving away wouldn't change that. The Moon Goddess instructed me that seeing things won't go away, but what if she's wrong? Everything in my head is creating these images. There would be a way to eliminate it. A thousand years ago they didn't have the medicines available to me. I may just need different medicines to improve my mental state. If I could make the dead leave me alone, I may be just fine.
All the higher ranked pack members returned with blank faces. I couldn't read my fathers, and that was what concerned me. He didn't look happy, nor did he look angry. My mother was the same way, along with my brother Rylan who had entered the room now. He glanced at me but continued walking towards an empty seat. I could feel my heart racing in my chest, afraid of what was going to happy. What if my I wasn't going to survive this? What would Lucian do if I was sentenced to death?
"I want Lucian." I looked at my dad who had a blank face. "I want my mate here with me. He should know what's going to happen to me."
"Fair enough." He looked over at my cousin Shaw. "Bring in Lucian's entire family, they all deserve to know what's happening to their future Luna."
"Of course Uncle Cooper." He didn't even get the change to sit down as he walked around it and towards the large double doors that were behind me.
It was silent in the large room, the wooden wolf paperweight that rested close to my father's arm continued to stare at me. An uncomfortable silence filled the room. It was like waiting for the last number to be called for a lottery when all the numbers on the small ticket given were matching the screen. The wait was killing me, I needed to know so badly, but I couldn't get it. Now I needed to wait for them to find my mate and his entire family.
After several minutes the doors behind me opened again, and this time I turned around to see the people standing. My mate, his sister Jackie, and parents Trixie and Jeremy were looking at me with an expression I couldn't read. They looked concerned, almost as if someone was dying in the room. As much as I hate to admit, maybe that someone would be me.
"Penny." Lucian breathed, looking at me with such fear. It was hard to even imagine him afraid, but here he was looking utterly terrified.
"I'm okay." I tried to force a smile but I could feel my tears that were beginning to form wouldn't fool him. "It's okay."
"You don't know that." He looked over my shoulder to see my dad. "Please tell us what he fate is. She's my mate, please consider that."
"I've been put in situations like this before you were even born Lucian." My dad said to him. "I've had to kill a mate in front of the other before, don't think I would spare anyone the same fate."
"Lucian, Jackie, Trixie, Jeremy." My mom stood up, directing her hand towards several seats. "Please sit down so we can discuss this."
I turned back around to face my parents, and I could hear the family sit down. Lucian didn't take his eyes off me, and I knew he wouldn't. If I was put in any danger I had a feeling he would attack. I was afraid of him doing that. If he did that I don't want to even think what would happen. Would he be sentenced for my same crime, or would he have to watch as I was killed? I don't think he would be able to stand watching my death. Knowing and understanding his personality and responses I know he would endanger himself just for me. That itself made me fear for his life.
"A decision has been made." My father announced as he stood, his fingertips resting on the wood below him.
His eyes fell on me, and at the moment I knew, they showed everything. I knew what was going to happen and I looked down with my eyes closed. I needed to hear it, now that I knew what he was going to say, it was time I heard it out loud. The only man I trusted enough to say it was my dad. A dad who I admired so much for his decision.
"Penelope, my daughter whom I love so much." His voice almost choked at the end, but he prevented it from happening. "Will be executed tomorrow morning via wolf form attack. As a woman of Alpha bloodline, it has been decided that she will not be buried in the cemetery where our ancestors lay. Her body will be burned and the ashes dumped into the wind."
Tears began to fall down my face, and I began to cry violently. This was it, this was the decision made. The life I dreamed with Lucian was never going to happen. A marriage and even a family was no longer an option. Tomorrow was going to be the last day I live. It's going to be the last day I see all the things I love so much.
"No!" I looked up to see my mate, but I could hardly see him. I hadn't realized I was crying so violently until I saw him.
Lucian was hysterical. Two guards almost immediately had grabbed him by the arms, but it was no use. They couldn't hold him as he pushed them away and made his way towards me. I tried to move towards him but a chain was connected to the floor that bound my hands. I lurched back almost immediately.
"Penny!"
"Lucian!" I cried out, trying to tug the chains free. "Lucian, I'm so sorry."
He was almost to me when I was shoved back to the floor and guards surrounded him. They grabbed his arms, shoulders, and neck. By now he was growling and snarling at the many men that were pushing him towards the door. One man kicked the back of his knees causing him to stumble to the ground. The men carrying his upper body began to drag him away.
"Penny, I love you!" Lucian called out as his final words to me stumbled out. "I love you more than anything and I promise I will never stop until you're safe."
"I love you too Lucian." I sobbed trying to crawl my way towards him but the chains continued to stop me. "Let me go! Let me go, I beg you! When I die please just let me go."
"No-" His call out to me was cut off by the two doors slamming behind him leaving me to cry in silence in the crowded room.
"What have I done?" I cried to myself grabbing my hair and pulling until the hair nearly ripped out. "What have I done?"