"Ben?" I knocked on his door before I entered.
Ben sat on the sofa, a tablet in his hands. He looked over this shoulder. A smile erupted on his face, his grey eyes went straight to my skirt. "Well, don't you look good in that skirt."
"Oh, shut it." I walked to the sofa. For the first time in his life, his bedroom was clean. Before there had been things littered everywhere. When I first saw the room months ago, it had surprised me that Ben's bedroom was so unkempt since he as a person was clean and organized.
When Ben was transported to York, Amelia had gone into nesting mode and cleaned his entire room. Ben wasn't happy about the clean, because he didn't know where his things were, but it was the doctor's orders for him to be in a nonhazardous environment.
I undid the tie and the first few buttons of my white shirt underneath my Alliance jacket. "Let's go for a walk." I stuck out my elbow for him to take.
"I already went on one. With Audrey. She was peppering me questions about the trip. It wasn't a walk at all. More like an interrogation."
"Oh boohoo. Get up."
Ben gave me one of his genuine smiles. That beautiful smile reminded me of a time when he hadn't smiled. When I first met him, he had been straight faced and withdrawn. That was a difficult time for him. He was mourning the death of his mentor. He still hadn't told me the story of what happened.
Setting down his tablet, Ben rose. He was still sore and his energy was low since Liam shot him three weeks ago. The doctor had prescribed at least three walks a day along with other therapies and medication. It would be a slow healing process but he would heal.
It was strange. When my knee was injured during the mountain simulation all those months ago, my knee healed almost instantly. But delicate areas, like the heart and lungs, took a long time to heal. It showed how much we advance in some areas and not as much in others.
He took my extended elbow and waved to the door. "Lead the way Chief."
I poked him carefully in the ribs. "Watch it."
We exited the bedroom and walked down the hall at a leisurely stroll. Our arms hooked. Ben no longer needed the extra support of my arm as he walked, but I enjoyed the contact.
"So, the doctor said I could start work tomorrow."
"Oh?" I shot an eyebrow up.
"Light work, mind you." He gave me a pointed look. "Like paperwork."
"Good, it's about time you got off your ass."
This time, Ben lightly nudged me with his elbow. "And you are back on the field."
We reached the end of the hall and turned to the right down another hall. I rolled my eyes. "So, you get well enough to work and that means I have to start too?"
Ben looked down at me, his lips in a half smile. "Yes, that means you too. You had three weeks off."
"Well, they weren't really relaxing weeks." I didn't have to tell him that I spent a lot of my time not getting sleep. He knew that from the dark bags underneath my eyes. What he didn't know was why I wasn't getting sleep.
Some of it had to do with him. For a time, we didn't know if he would make a full recovery. But most of my sleeplessness came from the nightmares I had. Since our arrival in York, the horrors I witnessed in the Wasteland would override my mind at night.
I knew I should visit Doctor Hunt for some sleeping medication. My hesitation was due to my stubbornness that they would go away on their own. Plus, I didn't want anyone to know. People would start fussing. Better to suffer alone than have people ask how my sleep schedule was.
"We have an assignment tomorrow," Ben went on. "While we have been gone, there has been some rebel activity across the city. We will be debriefed in full tomorrow."
"I thought since the Wasteland and Rebel leaders are here with the drafting of the treaty, they would stand down," I stated it more as a question.
Ben shook his head. "They don't trust us. And some of us don't trust them. We just need to keep an eye on them, not scare them into action. Just see what they are up to."
It was my turn to shake my head. "This is a mess. All of it."
The day after we arrived in Chicago, we had a meeting with the United Regions leaders and the Wasteland and Rebels leaders. To witness my parents in the same room but standing on opposite sides was strange.
Maisie was true to her word, she didn't dare speak to my father as I stood in the room. And my father, he hadn't said anything about her being here. As far as I knew, they hadn't spoken to one word to each other.
"It is a mess, but it will be cleaned up."
"Whatever you say."
"Mel," Ben pulled at our elbows to stop me.
I looked up at him. He looked down at me, his features soft. "This will get messy. Really messy. But everything will be okay one way or another."
"You better be right."
"I am always right," he said. The smile he gave me, it was full of mischief. I felt his hands slide down to my waist. With a slight pull of his hands, I took a step closer to him. My hands on his hips and I stood on tiptoes.
His lips were soft against mine. For a moment it was just us two and everyone else was a world away. I wanted it to just be him and I. Just us, so we could travel and see new sights without the threat of a gun pointed at us. Just us, so we could live our lives as a couple and not keep it half secret.
I pulled away first from Ben. He smiled at me as if he read my own thoughts. We continued down the hall.
Our families knew how close we were. Or at least Audrey and Amelia knew that we were close. We were practically a couple. But with me as Ben's ensign, we kept it secret. Well, not secret-secret, more like a 'need to know' basis.
We walked in a full circle and returned to Ben's bedroom. "Are you actually going home tonight or going to be my second mother and stay in your bedroom here."
I smiled. "I am actually going home."
Ben was pleased with the answer. "Good. Your father did get that apartment so it could be your home too."
"I know. Goodnight Ben, I will see you in the morning." I kissed Ben quick before turning on my heels.
"Goodnight," he called after me.
I was running.
My chest heaved for air that I could barely suck into my lungs. My legs screamed to stop but they kept going. My arms were sore of pumping and there was a kink in my shoulders. But I kept running.
It was dark. Darkness was on either side of me. Though I had no idea where I was going, I continued to pump my arms and pound my legs on the hard ground.
Something was behind me. I could feel it. The feeling was the same of what a person could have when they are in the basement and have to run upstairs, but the light switch is at the bottom of the stairs. They must turn off the light and run up the darkened staircase before the ghost who lived in the basement could grab them.
But behind me was not a ghost. I didn't know what it was, but the small hairs on my neck and arm stood at attention.
There was a faint light ahead. I darted to the light. The thing behind me felt like it grew closer and closer as my heart raced faster.
The light grew brighter with each step. Below the light was a door. The door creaked open when I was a yard away. The moment I crossed the threshold, I turned and slammed the door shut behind me. My body fell into the closed door, I forced my lungs to take deep, even breaths. Around me was more darkness.
There was a bang on the door that made the entire thing vibrate violently. I stumbled away from the door. The lights flicked on to reveal a hallway. The walls were white and clean. It reminded me of the hospital. The one with Wilson.
The hard bang continued and the knob turned but the door did not open.
"Mel!" I looked down the hall. Clark stood there, waving at me. "Hurry, this way before it gets in!"
The banging intensified, forcing me to run down the hall toward Clark. He too started to run and he disappeared down the hall to the right. I followed. When I rounded the corner, he was about to round a corner to the left. I ran faster, trying to catch up with him.
Behind me, the door crashed open and heavy steps echoed down the hall.
Panic rose inside me and wanted to take over. I tried desperately to reach Clark. Each time I took a turn, my body crashed into the walls because I did not slow down my speed. I was running faster than I ever had before, but I was not closing in on Clark.
I turned into a hallway. Fear gripped my chest tight. The hall was a dead end. Clark ran toward the end. He wasn't heading to the end, but to a door. The only door in the lightly lit hallway. I followed him into the darkened room.
Something caught my foot when I entered. My body flew to the ground.
And fell on small, piercing glass.
The broken pieces of glass cut into my skin and it burned. Tried to scream, but no sound came from my throat.
From the hallway, heavy footsteps walked down the hall. I tried in vain to get up. I tried to move, tried to hide.
Boots stepped into the room and crunched the glass. Hands grabbed me and threw me toward the door like if I was a rag doll. My body slammed into the wall of the hallway. A man stepped in front of me. But not Wilson.
Liam.
An unkind smirk teased his lips. He eyed me. "You can try to scream," he said, he drew close to me. So close his body pressed against mine. "But it is worthless." He leaned forward, his lips kissing my cheekbone underneath my right eye. Liam leaned back to see me, his finger on my throat, over the spot where my voice box was.
"Wilson cut your vocal cords," Liam purred.
My body trembled and Liam smirked. His hand went to my cheek, his thumb brushed my skin gently. "Come, we have another surprise for you." Like a lover, he took my hand gently and escorted me down the hall. My body followed obediently.
Down another hallway, there was an open door. Liam pulled me inside. An operating room. We were in an operating room but there was only an operating lamp, a small tray with tools, and an operating table.
A body already laid on the table and a man stood beside it.
Murphy. He stood in a white operating gown. He held a scalp in a gloved hand. "Good, we can begin."
My eyes looked at the table to meet Ben's. His grey eyes full of sadness and hurt. He was awake.
Murphy's hand slowly brought the scalp to Ben's bare chest. At the first cut at the base of his neck, Ben screamed.
I sprung up in bed. My entire body was covered in sweat, my heart pounded in my chest.
It was a dream. Just a dream. I was back in the apartment in York. Not in the hospital.
But the dream felt so real. The glass in my body felt real. The hopelessness when I couldn't scream felt real.
The covers had been kicked to the floor. I listened closely to hear if Dad had woken. It wouldn't be a surprise if I had woken him, but I hoped I didn't. My throat did not ache so there was a possibility I did not scream. Before I had screamed in my sleep. It was early in the morning at the Palace and Anna was down the hall, walking to my room. She heard my screams and ran to my bedroom. She had said she had expected I was being murdered by how loud I had been.
My entire body shook as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. After a nightmare, I couldn't fall back to sleep. I have tried it before without success. My alarm clock read 4:24. At least I had gotten some sleep.
I stood up and grabbed one of my soft robes I stole from the Palace and pulled it over the plain t-shirt and plaid pajamas shorts I wore.
Two steps away from my bed, my foot collided with a box. "God damn," I muttered as I tried not to yell as my pinky toe was almost ripped off from the corner of the box. I really needed to unpack, and now was a better time than any.
I stepped out into the hall and made my way to the kitchen in the dark. Turning on one overhead light in the kitchen I went about making a strong pot of coffee.
The lights to the kitchen and the connecting living room and dining room flicked on and I jumped out of my skin at the brightness. I turned to the hallway to find Dad leaning against the doorframe.
"What are you doing?"
I held out the bag of coffee. "What does it look like?"
"It is not even five in the morning."
I only shrugged. I had no excuses for being up this early.
"How long?" Dad asked. He stepped into the box filled dining room. Maybe once I finished my room, I could start on those boxes.
I turned my back on Dad and put half the bag of coffee into the filter.
"Mel."
I jabbed the on button and the coffee maker made little bubbling sounds. I turned back around. Dad leaned against the kitchen island. The light above the island illuminated his tired face. He still sported a whiskered beard and his wrinkles remained the same though grey hair sprouted rapidly through his brown hair and his eyes had changed. When I was a child, his eyes were different. They seemed dimmed in the Lake Region. But here, being the person he was meant to be, made his eyes brighter. But he was tired. The bags underneath his eyes told me that.
"A week ago," I muttered. "The nightmare started a week ago." I knew I didn't want to tell him, but it was Dad and lying to him was useless. He could read through my lies. "Dad, don't tell anyone."
"It's nothing to be ashamed about."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not ashamed, I don't want fussing."
Dad smiled faintly. "Don't worry, you are not worth fussing over."
"Oh, thanks," I chuckled.
"I want you to go see Doctor Hunt tomorrow about the nightmares. You have been tired and you need to get some sleep."
I shook my head. "I will only take them if you take some too. Those bags underneath your eyes are as dark as mine."
Dad smiled, he pushed himself away from the counter and straighten. "Fine." He turned back toward the hallway, "Don't make too much racket. I want my coffee in my hand at six am. Got that Ensign?"
"Only if I get a pay raise, Admiral."