Words: 4.3 K
Published On: 06.10.18
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Sasuke's childhood was a little different than most kids. He'd seen and heard of things far beyond his young years. It created a darkness in him that never seemed to leave his side. He ran from it for years and was successful too. Or so he thought. One day, he was shown just how inescapable the black hole of despair truly was. It was the day his best friend was killed before his very eyes.
The police searched for days after he ran away from the hospital. But maa didn't. She knew him in a way no one ever could. The cruel death of his best friend meant that the sun had finally set on Sasuke's dreams. Never did it rise in his world again. It was blood that burned beneath his skin like fire then. It kept pushing him to fight or he'd have been dead years ago. As long as Sasuke fought, he felt alive. The blood he shed became a mark of his survival, yet a taunt to all that he was. Or wasn't.
He'd tried so hard and so bravely, to become a good man. But people he cared for kept leaving him. Father, Brother, Naruto... and Sakura. Yes, Sakura. As far as teenage love stories go, he always felt beyond his years. He was convinced if there was ever anyone he could be with, it was her. It didn't matter if she wasn't a fighter like he was or as street smart. Or even that she could never ever relate to his darkness. Or that he would never truly grasp what she was.
He had come to, against all odds, love her. Love her so, that even after they decided to separate as life led them to vastly different paths, he chose to wait and make himself worthy of her. All for it to end one day like dust in the wind.
Little did he know, her world was going to crash and burn like his own, too. And that her innocence would make it a hundred times worse.
"-suke. Sasuke!"
Sasuke blinked. Was he lost in his thoughts again?
"Man," Suigetsu groaned. "You've been so absent lately. What's up with you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," he dismissed.
They walked back to the car with no further conversation on Sasuke's part. Even as the road vanished behind them, he spoke little and spent his hours in the vehicle sleeping. The quiet behavior persisted until one day, his teammates couldn't help themselves.
"Are you feeling alright? You've been so out of it lately," commented Jugo. The way he said it, one may take it as a casual inquiry but he could tell the man was worried.
"Its 'cause of that chick. I'm tellin' you."
Karin smacked her companion on the head harder than usual. Her tone wasn't its usual annoyed self either, but angry. "You're such an idiot, Suigetsu."
Even Jugo sighed and shook his head. He'd clearly said something wrong.
"I'm out of cigarettes. Get me some."
The three people turned to face their leader idly smoking at the table. His face was indecipherable. Blank. You couldn't tell if he was angry or indifferent toward their questioning.
"Are you deaf? I asked you to bring me cigs."
Angry, then.
While Suigetsu left to do just that, the other two couldn't help but gaze at him in concern.
"If you two stare any longer, I'll shoot you."
Yes, he was definitely irate. Suigetsu sometimes joked about him needing to blow off more steam than he did, which wasn't much. Especially compared to the silver-haired gunman's womanizing expeditions. Ever since the Ryuji Saburo job two months ago, Sasuke had been highly irritable. Judging from the number of cigarette butts on the table daily, it was clearly going nowhere.
Karin later told them, begrudgingly, that she overheard him saying that he had feelings for the pink-haired female in the past. It came as a surprise to no one, but their questions certainly found some answers.
"So if he just gets laid, it's sorted, right?"
SMACK!
"Is that all you ever think about, you fucking retard!?"
"Duh. I figured since life ain't givin' me any peaches, I might as well have women."
"You-"
"Not now, you two. This isn't the time. If you piss off Sasuke, he really will shoot you."
"Yeah, get a hold of yourself, Suigetsu."
"Why you-!"
The door to the motel room opened.
"I'm going to bed. If I hear a single noise, count yourself good as dead."
As he shuffled under the covers, they exchanged glances but said nothing. When Sasuke warned them of something, chances were, he was going to do it.
A few days later, Sasuke received a phone call from maa. Sakura vanished from his mind. A new face took the preoccupied space. The commissioner of police, Nagato Uzumaki.
The red-haired officer sat across from him at the cafè, sipping at tea. His entire body was tense. Uzumaki was clearly not foolish enough to take Sasuke lightly. A silver gun sat at the table like the threat that its owner was.
"You visited my mother and Suigetsu's girlfriend."
It wasn't a question. His voice was cold and though delivered flatly, under the surface bubbled anger.
"I did."
"Why?"
"To find you, of course."
"Well, I'm here. Are you satisfied?"
"Not quite. The shackles are missing."
"Your business is with me. Don't involve my mother in it. She's got nothing to do with this. Just like your family doesn't."
"Is that a threat?"
"I don't like to owe anyone. So my people are paying a visit in kind to your wife and kid. Judging from your expression, you had no idea."
Sasuke pulled out his phone, casually dialed Karin's number and put it on speaker.
"Sasuke."
"Tell our little friend here how it is going over there."
"Jugo's in there talking to Konan. Nice house you have here, Officer Uzumaki."
"That's a bluff," said Nagato, but his gritted teeth betrayed his thoughts.
"Oh? But from what I see, little Yahiko sure likes our big friend here."
"You keep your filthy paws off my family."
A familiar child's laughter came on the phone. Nagato's fists closed in anger. Sasuke disconnected the line.
"Don't even think about it, officer. You so much as aim that gun at me and you see the guy over at the front booth?" Sasuke slid his eyes toward a man wearing a cap with silver hair peeking out from under it. "Yeah? You know him, don't you? He isn't as tolerant of your kind as I am."
"Bastard!"
"Ironic coming from you, isn't it?" He leaned forward. "Listen here, pal. We don't involve our families in what we do. It ain't our style. You stay away from ours and we stay away from yours. Relax. Don't think of it as a threat," Sasuke told him, standing up and casually patting Nagato's cheek with his loaded gun. "Treat it like a second chance."
With those ominous words in the air, Sasuke left the cafè. Suigetsu followed close on his heels.
"Sasuke, when will you visit next? It's been months."
"Soon."
"Are you taking care of yourself? Are you eating properly?"
"Yes."
"And what about -"
"Everything's fine, maa. You don't have to worry."
"Yes, I do."
"Maa, I gotta- I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay, okay. But come home and see me soon, hon. I miss you."
"..."
"...Honey? Sasuke?"
"Love you too, maa. Bye."
A deep sigh later, Sasuke stuffed a cigarette between his lips and exited the phone booth. Talking to his mother made Sasuke's heart heavy every damn time. He yearned to return home to her. But home was far out of his grasp now. He'd strayed too far away from it. As his feet took him farther away from the phone, his shoes felt heavier and heavier, until he finally swiveled on his feet.
"Ah, fuck it."
"Sasuke's been more reckless than usual since that Nagato fella showed up. I'm a little worried."
"I understand what you mean. Even Suigetsu's been irritable."
"You mean more than he already is."
"Did you even know he had a girlfriend?" Jugo questioned, perplexed since he learned what happened from Sasuke.
"No," replied Karin. "I figured he was an asshole who changed women like his underpants. No, wait. I take that back. Knowing him, the dirty bastard doesn't change them at all."
"It appears Sasuke knew about it, though," continued Jugo. "He never told me."
"Probably because Suigetsu wouldn't have wanted him to. I mean, you see the way he behaves."
"I guess..."
"Sasuke is late," stated the silver-haired man being spoken of, entering unannounced.
Startled, Karin almost fell off the couch. She urgently punched his stomach in reprimand. "Idiot! Knock before you enter!"
"Huh? Why should I? Unless..." His violet eyes shifted between her and Jugo a few times, following which, he blurted, "You two were going to have sex!"
The red-haired woman balked at the idea and hurled the beer bottle they'd emptied at his face. Even Jugo fell off his chair.
"Hey, watch it!" yelled Suigetsu, narrowly dodging.
"You're a dick," sighed Jugo, spreading out on the floor like he had no intention of getting up.
"You watch it, shark-face! How dare you-!"
"Guys."
Jugo tucked his hands under his head and stared quietly at the ceiling. A wordless minute later, Karin laid down on the couch in the same fashion.
"I hear ya, man," Suigetsu said, joining his friend on the floor.
The room smelled of beer and smoke and the paint in the ceiling was chipping off. Under it, they quietly stayed, each one in their own set of thoughts until Jugo finally spoke up.
"Were you ever going to tell us about her?"
"Not really."
"You're a dick."
"I've heard that before."
"We're your friends, you know," Karin said, for once, serious.
"It isn't about that. I just.. wanted to keep her away from all this shit. You know?"
"But you told Sasuke," she accused.
"You know that's different. He is our leader. But apart from that, Sasuke is also... Sasuke. I had to."
"Yeah, I guess I get it."
"Do you love her?" asked Jugo.
"...I don't know, man. Are we even capable of it at this point?"
"Good question."
Sasuke had left them in the motel room a day ago and he had still not returned. He informed them nothing about where he was going, but Jugo suspected he knew the answer already. Out of them all, he was the most sensitive of their leader and happened to understand him in a way their other two companions did not. While the aforementioned idiots bickered in the background, Jugo wondered if Sasuke would find what he was looking for.
Cigarette smoke gathered above them and disappeared amidst the blue of the sky. It reminded Sasuke of the first time he sat down to smoke with her.
"You don't regret anything? Or do you?"
"We didn't fall into this by accident."
"So, why'd you suddenly wanna see me?"
"I'm not sure myself."
"You drove down two towns and you don't know?" she stared.
"...You said you didn't regret anything. Is it really true?"
"I'm afraid so. It's foolish to regret what we cannot change, don't you think?"
"I suppose. But was what you did worth living this godforsaken life?"
"Honestly? I don't know. A few years into it, I couldn't tell. Struggled with the idea of life for a long time before it became about survival."
Sasuke's eyes stopped at the gun strapped to her belt.
"It still doesn't suit you."
"Really?"
"I don't know. I keep comparing you to my ex."
"Gee, flattering," deadpanned Sakura.
"When you first pulled out the gun that evening, I couldn't believe it. It was impossible to picture you with it."
Sakura almost scoffed. "Yet here I am."
"Just another confirmation I didn't need of life's overall shittiness."
"I don't understand why you're telling me all this now."
"Me either. But look at you. Once, I was in love with you. Now I don't even recognize you."
"Wow," she breathed. "Are you trying to make me feel shitty?"
"No, I just-"
"Can't believe it."
"...Yeah."
"We're in the same boat here. You weren't the only one in love back then. But you were always so afraid of yourself, you kept me at a distance. Still, I never thought that I'd have to see this either."
"That's cause I always knew this day would come for me. This life ain't so easy to escape from."
"But you wanted to so badly. Is that why you're here now - to remember?"
"No. I just... wanted to know how you were."
"Oh. I'm shitty. Thanks for asking. Judging from your face, you're no better."
"That's not what I.." he trailed off. "Sakura, when you were captured by Saburo..."
Her face darkened. "Sasuke, you know full well the kind of man Ryuji Saburo was. So don't ask."
"That's one bastard I'm glad to have killed."
"It made me feel good to watch you squeeze out his life," Sakura quietly confessed. "Does that make me a sicko?"
"No, just normal. As normal as you or I could be, anyway."
"Good. 'Cause I'm unapologetic about having killed all three of his big clients and later, as you saw, seven of his men."
"Do you like it?" he stared, partly uneasy with the idea.
"Come on, Sasuke. No one likes it. But its just too late to go back now. You can only wash away so much blood before it seeps into your skin."
"Guess so." He crushed the empty pack in his palm and tossed it away. "I'm out of cigarettes."
"Night's falling," realized Sakura, looking around. "Wanna go buy some before the shops close?"
"Yeah."
The car smelled of smoke and sex, filled with the sound of their heavy breathing against each other's mouths.
"Fuck," breathed Sakura, dropping her head onto his shoulder. "Do you ever remember it being this good?"
Sasuke threw his head against the seat, the relief from his release still freshly circulating in his body. The car was parked - rather hurriedly - on the side of the road, so when another car passed by, momentarily throwing light onto them, he noticed the teeth mark on her left shoulder from where he'd yanked down her sleeve.
"That's going to scar," he informed her, though he was hardly bothered by the fact.
She pulled herself away from him as much as the small space allowed to graze with her fingernails a spot just above his chest. "So is this."
"You broke my buttons," he absently noted.
"What's new about that?"
Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes.
"Okay, I'm gonna get off. The steering is digging into my back."
As she did so, her head hit the roof of the car multiple times. As she settled back into her own seat and pulled up her pants, she said, "Having sex in a car is definitely not one of my preferred spaces."
"T'is not like this was planned."
"No," she agreed. "But after this, I gotta ask.."
Sasuke turned his head to look at her, a hand already on the key.
"..do you wanna go back to my room? I could use a bed."
Karin stared at Sasuke's face as he entered. It was as if she could see it. "Where the hell have you been?"
"I don't recall being answerable to you," he stopped to tell her.
"No. But you made us wait for two days, then called us here."
"I've been busy," he answered, slipping on a fresh shirt.
"He means 'gettin' busy'," Suigetsu whistled as he entered, getting a look at the teeth mark on Sasuke's chest before he could button up. "About time too."
"Shut up or I'll shoot you," warned Sasuke.
"Geez! Getting laid hasn't done much to tame that mood, has it?
"You're asking for it."
"Sasuke, Sakura has just arrived out front. Is she traveling with us?"
"Just for this one."
"I see," said Jugo, exiting as soundlessly as he'd entered.
"Why is she with us?" Karin demanded.
"Helping hand."
"We don't need one."
"I know."
"Then why the hell is she here?"
"Gee, someone's burning."
Karin glared at Suigetsu after having thrown a pillow at him for lack of a sharp object.
"Karin, Sakura is here because she wants to kill the man we're after as much I do."
"Why the hell?"
"Because."
"Fuck, Karin, you're being more insufferable than usual. Isn't it obvious?"
Because the man whom Sasuke wanted to avenge was her friend too. Karin knew that, of course. She just couldn't take a liking to the idea of Sasuke's ex-girlfriend hanging around with them. Either way, the road was clearly decided. Her opinion did not matter in the least.
As they began to shuffle out, Suigetsu said, "Sasuke, I need to talk to you."
Karin didn't particularly like working with her, despite the added benefit of her skills. And she hated the fact that during the final showdown, Sakura was the one who saved her ass from getting fried. As if she needed any more reason to dislike the woman.
Having successfully killed the man responsible for the death of Sasuke's best friend, they fled the scene, not stopping to even tend to their injuries. The way they'd gone in guns blazing, there was no way the police hadn't caught wind of it. It wouldn't be very hard to decipher who was behind it either, even though they'd killed all present. The cops weren't idiots.
If anything, they were working under the assumption that the chase would begin somewhere between the next day and after.
They stopped a whole night later at a cheap hotel. By that time, half their party was pretty much down already.
"So, how do you feel? You know, now that he's been avenged."
"Honestly? The same," replied Sasuke, pulling out his ninth cigarette.
"Yeah, me too."
"Our hands are too bloodied to differentiate the color anymore."
"I guess. Do you have any idea where you go from here?"
Sasuke shrugged. "Back to the same old. Our world isn't changing anytime soon. Think I'll go see maa first. Its been a while."
Karin hated that the walls were so fucking thin. Not that it was hard to guess why Sasuke got a separate room for them. She couldn't sleep a wink, despite how tired she felt. Soon, when the wheels rolled in, she was glad she hadn't. It was 2 AM when she woke everyone up, surprised to find Sasuke and Sakura already standing alert with their guns ready.
"They haven't realized we're awake yet. We can move out the back," she suggested.
"Not an option," Jugo informed as he and Suigetsu entered. "We're surrounded."
"What? But so quickly!?" gasped Karin.
Once he surveyed the situation, Sasuke straightened. It seemed like his mind was made. On cue, the voice on the loudspeaker demanded that they surrender themselves.
"No way," Suigetsu said, shaking his head. "This has to happen now?"
A single bullet was fired that broke through the glass and passed right by Karin's ear. That was when the reality of their predicament truly dawned on the five of them. A stunned silence followed as all of their eyes met.
There was a distinct sound of rushing footsteps. The others in the hotel were being evacuated.
"Shit!" Suigetsu stared through the window as cops dressed in blue stood ready with their guns aimed directly their way. He distinctly recognized the red-haired officer leading them. "Bastard!"
It wasn't long before the exchange of gunfire began. They were on the second floor, so they still had some time to come up with something before the police reached them. That's when...
"We don't have enough bullets!" exclaimed Sakura, panic setting in. "Not enough to fend them off long enough to escape."
Karin was shaking. Suigetsu looked disheartened. Jugo was passive, though frowning.
"Sasuke, what do you want us to do?" asked the seven-foot man.
"I'm the leader. So, if you guys surrender, you will get less punishment."
All four pairs of eyes stared at him.
"What are you going to do?" Sakura asked.
"I ain't going to jail," he evenly replied, reloading his gun with the last of the bullets. "But you know, it doesn't seem like all they're here for is capture anymore."
"They're expecting an all-out encounter with us," realized Jugo.
"You guys have to make a break for it. I'll keep them occupied long enough."
"But Sasuke, that means..."
Turning his head toward the silver-haired man, he said, "Some things are worth living for. Now, go!"
Suigetsu's eyes widened. He stepped forward and straight up pulled Sasuke into a hug. "I owe you one," he said as he hoisted his rifle upon his shoulder.
"Karin, Sakura, Jugo - go with Sui - Shit! Take cover!"
A blast shook the entire building, setting fire to where they were all standing a second ago.
"Move! Now!" Karin heard Sasuke shout over the noise. Her limbs felt heavy, like she couldn't get them to move faster. She could hear the gunfire, but her senses were all over the place. Her injured arm was now bleeding profusely. Her body was sluggish. All the noises in the background were mixed up and blurry. She may have busted an eardrum.
At this rate, she wouldn't make it.
Just as the thought created a wave of panic within her, she felt a weight lower down beside where she was huddled. Sasuke's soothing voice entered her ears.
"Karin, you have to move. Now-!"
More gunfire followed. Karin didn't realize she was sobbing until she felt a firm arm around her shoulder. She looked up to see Sasuke holding her. His eyes were soft like he understood. The words tumbled from her shaking lips on their own.
"I don't wanna die. Sasuke, I don't wanna-!"
"Shh," he gently told her, as if there weren't fatal attacks incoming from everywhere. Sensing her despair, he pulled her head into his chest. "You won't die, Karin."
She felt his back relax against the wall or the desk, whatever it was - she couldn't tell between the chaos. Sasuke's grip on her didn't falter. He might have held her for barely thirty seconds, but it felt like an eternity to Karin.
"You have to fight, Karin," he told her, words gentle but backed by a firmness. Like he was motivating her.
When she looked up and met his face, he was looking straight ahead, as if into a distant future she knew nothing of. There was a calm on his features that she didn't remember ever seeing before. And when he looked down, for the first time, he looked so young without the weariness that had weighed him down for so long.
Beautiful, thought Karin.
"Sasuke..."
That was when he leaned down and kissed her. It wasn't a very loving or a tender kiss. Karin knew exactly what it meant. Tears followed one after another from her eyes.
"Karin," Sasuke straightened, letting go of her and starting to stand. "It's time."
"You better make it, Karin," she heard Sakura say as she joined the two of them. "You might have to bear the burden of my promise. I'm sorry about that."
"Sakura." Sasuke stared. "What are you-?"
"You can't do it alone. And I won't let you," the pink-haired woman told him. "No one should have to go alone. Not when they have a choice."
Jugo followed in seconds after and went to stand beside their leader.
"Now what's your problem?" Sasuke eyed him.
"I ain't got anywhere better to be," replied Jugo evenly.
"...I see," he finally said, a resigned smile appearing on his lips.
"Wait!" Karin made a decision. "Sakura, you told Sasuke you will take care of Mikoto. I'll stay. Please go."
Sasuke and Sakura both smiled at her then. "Karin, I'd prefer if you lived," said Sasuke. "Ah, and look after Suigetsu. The idiot's going to need all the help he can get."
That was all she heard from him in the end, as another blast threw her from their vicinity - or one of them pushed her out of the way, maybe. All Karin remembered of it was looking at their backs growing ever farther away.
It has been five years since that day. Karin has been living in Sasuke's house with his mother, fulfilling a promise that wasn't even hers to begin with. On first reaching here, she learned that Sasuke had called Mikoto from the hotel building during the attack - probably using one of those disposable SIM cards Sakura was carrying. He told her he was finally coming home to her. And he did.
Sasuke, Sakura and Jugo, all three perished in the crossfire. Suigetsu surrendered himself to the police a few weeks later, but given the amount of precious information he gave up on other crime families and on account of good behavior, he was let go in four years. He lives in a small house near the beach with his girlfriend and their four and a half-year-old son.
"That day," the silver-haired ex-criminal told Karin when she'd visited him in jail the second time. "When I told him Gina was pregnant, Sasuke told me to quit the life."
So, that was why he wanted Suigetsu to flee. That's what he meant. As for Karin, she still doesn't know why Sasuke wanted her to live instead of Sakura, the woman he so obviously still held close to his heart. But she guesses it had something to do with choosing her to die beside.
She thinks she got unusually lucky with everything because officer Nagato let her go without placing much of any charges on her. Something about some word of honor. She wonders, however, did she really get lucky at all? Her friends were dead and so was the man she inadvertently loved. Karin swings in and out of depression a few times a year.
In the end, she can't say that everything worked out. They didn't even get to see the bodies of their friends, for they were charred in the blast, blackened out of recognition. All she truly has left in the world is Suigetsu. But if she thinks about it deep enough, she knows in her heart that there's still hope. Sasuke gave them that.
And perhaps, Karin thinks as she makes her way to a place she has begun to recognize as her home now. Sasuke finally made his life mean something. Perhaps that's why he was smiling.
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HANGMAN
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So, tell me your thoughts, guys.
This story really got to me, personally. I was hard-pressed to fit everything in two parts itself, but somehow, I managed. I hope I was able to deliver.
Do leave me reviews!
Thank you for reading and lots of love to all you loyal readers.
See you!