It takes what feels like way too long to get Singto alone, to even catch him in the first place, but, miraculously enough, he managed to bribe the right people, play the right cards, and find out a perfect place to catch him.
Singto looks shocked for only the briefest of a moment before he schools his expression into something calm and collected. Krist feels kind of bad for what he's about to dump on the man, especially after not talking to him for months—not that that was his choice. Entirely. He takes a breath, opens his mouth, and says:
"I'm sorry."
It feels nice to say, even if he hasn't expanded on what he's sorry for.
Singto doesn't look taken aback, however; his expression hasn't changed at all.
Krist's heart plummets.
He supposes he deserves this. He thought he had to choose between a lesser of two evils: either he break up with Singto, or have Yui do it for him. Perhaps he thought wrong.
He's startled when the elder brushes a hand against his shoulder, the touch going as quick as it came. "Why?"
Krist knows he's not asking why he's sorry.
"Because I had to," he replies. "Because if I didn't, P'Yui would've."
"So you were backed into a corner," Singto replies, voice level yet strained.
Krist nods, feeling ashamed of his previous cowardice.
"You were young, too," Singto continues. "Not to mention, you didn't know who you were." He looks directly into the other's eyes. "Are."
At that, the younger takes a step closer. "A lot has changed for me, P'Singto."
For once, the elder's expression changes. "I haven't heard you call me that in awhile," he laughs, but it's quiet and reserved, as if it's just an echo of the real thing. "We haven't heard each other at all, in awhile."
Krist looks away. "Actually... I...." He can't seem to find the words. Is this really something he should say now? Or is it too soon? Indecision dances on his lips, and Singto is beginning to look like he wants to walk away, so before he can make a conscious decision, the words go leaping on out of his lips— "I still saw." He says it quickly, dumbly, the words sloppy and slurred. "Your interviews, and I heard a few, too. I know I shouldn't have, and I didn't deserve to—still don't, actually—but I couldn't help it." He closes his eyes. "I'm sorry." When he opens them again, it's to Singto staring at him with something akin to pity in his eyes.
It makes Krist feel sick.
"You were afraid," Singto says, voice smooth like syrup. "That's understandable." His words are kind and his voice is nice, but... there's something missing.
Krist leans back against the wall. "I'm too late, aren't I?"
Singto doesn't say anything, just sending him a tight-lipped smile in response.
"But I'm not afraid anymore," Krist tries.
When all he gets is another pitying look, Krist's heart crumbles.
-
a/n lemme just say it now: don't panic