The light hit my eyes, as I turned over in bed and groaned lightly. I turned over in bed two more times before huffing and getting up. I go to bathroom and wash my mouth, comb/flat iron my cherry red hair that now touched the middle of my back. I smile at the mirror before walking out and getting dress. Tossing on my ripped jeans and my “my chemical romance” band tee. I head out the house with my guitar.
Strolling down the street. I check my phone 6:30am, Carrie and Alex were still at home, sleeping those lazy buttholes. I walked, bobbing and humming, sometimes singing the words to “happily ever after” by he is we, when my felt myself get push slightly back by an unknown forced.
“Shit, watch where you’re going” I muttered, pulling my earphones out my ear and checking my guitar to see if the person had done any damage to her. Nothing good, that punk got lucky. I look up to start bitching at the guy when I come to face to man about 6 ft 2, also checking his guitar.
“Heh, you didn’t cause any damage to her. You got lucky.” The sound of his deep voice, cause me to freeze for a moment, but I don’t let it show.
Glaring fierily. I hissed at him. “I can say the same to you”
“You know, you almost scared me.”
“What…ever” I muttered sourly, as I walked away and continued my route to the local park. “Thank god, I never have to see that butthole ever again, the nerves of some people. FUCK.” I thought to myself, as sat on my favorite bench and pulled hope out her case and begin to play the chords “happily ever after” by he is we.
As I played, I got a little lost and be singing along to chords, I was an okay singer,
“Oh, happily ever after, wouldn’t you know, wouldn’t you know.” I play a little louder.
“Oh, skip to the ending, who’d like to know, I’d like to know.” People walking by drop money and some stay to hear me sing.
“Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?” I close my eyes and sing like no one is listening to me.
“We all have a story to tell.” I stop playing and people clap, I blush lightly and continue counting to play a couple of more song, with the rude stranger on my mind. In the middle of my fifth or sixth song I think, I got a call.
I pick it up, already knowing it was Carrie. It was a daily thing,
“Hey, I’m on my way home now.” I said as I put hope in her case and hung up. I packed all my stuff and started back home, with the biggest smile ever.
“I’m telling you Carrie, this guy was an asshole.”
“Sounds like you were really into your music” she said to me as I explained what happened between me and the guy. I sighing pulling my hair out of my face. Alex laughed as he ate his food, he got closer to us.
“What did he look like?” he asked, Carrie got closer to me and smirked.
“What did he look like?” she asked. I sat up for moment, trying to recall what that idiot looked like.
“Well…” I started, leaning closer to her. “He was dark, tall-“
“How tall” I stared at Carrie for a moment before shaking my head.
“He was about 6 ft. tall probably a little more, I don’t really know-“
“He towered over you and you actually talked back to him, I mean like you’re tiny and he’s a giant, like really-“
“Carrie, shut the fuck up.”
“I’ll be quiet now.”
“thanks.” Alex sniggered but said nothing. He knew better. I shook my head again and sighed.
“When he spoke. I shook, not really in fear but maybe it was” I shrugged my shoulders wanting to ignore the subject or push on to a new one.
“Maybe he was the ONE and you gave him that “I’m a tough girl” act. You’re 22 and a virgin, maybe if you were a bit more open to love-“
“Carrie, you know how she feels about that” Alex cut her off, giving her that “don’t you even start that” look.
“I don’t believe in love, okay. It’s fake, you just get hurt by it, so drop it please.” Alex smiled at me, sadly and Carrie looked away. I had known Alex from high school, he was in the grade before mine. Carrie I had met in college. We moved in together our first year of college, on our second Alex joined us and we got a sweet roomy four room apartment. The fourth room was my work room. I wrote books and such. Carrie had dark brown hair up to her shoulder and baby blue eyes. She was 5 ft 6. She was a curvy chubby girl, she was pretty when she wasn’t nagging me about stuff. Alex was about 5ft 8 and not fit but he’s not fat either. He had brown eyes and choppy black hair. I smiled back at Alex before getting up and going to my work room. I had to write the next ten pages to my story “love me” the irony, I suck at romance but loved writing about it. What kind of idiotic was that? Maybe I wanted to fall in love. Like hell. Love is waste of time. It’ll just get in my way and it’ll make my life harder than it already is. I sighed as began writing.
“Cassie” he called out to me. I turned and sighed, I was tired of this game. He messes up. I catch him in the act and he comes back to me and I take him back. Why? Because I was utterly in love with him. He drove me crazy. He made me happy like no other person could, at least he did. We were young when we met. We fell in love like the crazy teens we were. I guess when time passes, love fades with it and I at this moment I knew that it was time to let go. I was twenty-eight. This was going nowhere. I was suffering, no I was dying.
“I think it’s time, that we get that divorce, you know we are not 17, 18 anymore. Im still in love with you but you moved on.”
“Cassie, please. I can change. Baby we can make it.” I teared, looked at him and shook my head.
“No, Drew baby” I whispered in fear of breaking infront of me.
“Baby, please don’t make me beg.” Tears began to fall from my eyes and I backed up from him, shaking my head.
“I’m done, Drew. I’m tired of this shit.” I said with my newly found voice. Drew eyes widen in shock and I smile slightly. “I want it, drew, it’s been a long eleven years. I need to be free. You’re not worth it anymore.” As soon as the words left it began to rain. We were outside of the building of Drew’s new toy, Kandy. I walked to my car and rolled my eyes. I got in drove off. Eleven years, I spent eleven years on this guy. I wasted the best years of my life because of him. Fuck him. I gave him my all. I couldn’t believe it was over. As drove to our house- my house now, where our two kids slept.
“What now?” I thought as got closer to the place I once called a happy home.
“Honestly, what now Cassie? What are you going to do?” I whisper as I saved the document and sent it to my editor. I stared at my ceiling, waiting for his email back. I sighed loudly and spun in my chair a couple of times, when my cell phone buzzed, indicating I had a text. It was Katie, my mess around for a couple of months now.
Katie: clubbing 2 night??
Me: ehhhhh…sure
Katie: its 8. I’ll pick you up at 9. I’m bring friends. That cool baby?
Me: that’s cool, no problem. I’ll see you.
Damn, it was eight already. Did I really lock myself in my work room for over seven hours, well I did get a completely 28 page chapter done. I sighed and leaved and hopped into the shower. Thirty minutes later it was eight thirty. I quickly settle on wearing a dark blue off the shoulder shirt and white ripped jeans. I left my hair it was done earlier and I head to living room, waiting for Katie text.
Carrie walked out of her room and shook her head.
“Genevieve, on a Monday, really?
“I won’t drink…much.” I sad back.
“Whatever, gen. do what you want waste your fucking time with that girl.”
“It’s my life…”
“Yeah, well we are part of it.”
“Who’s we?” I whisper softy. “You’re the only one that’s fighting me in everything I do”
“I care about you.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t.” I said as I grabbed my leather jacket and walked down, seeing as phone buzzed. I walked down the stairs of my apartment and get in to Katie car. I kiss her quickly and say hi to her friends. Katie smiles at me, with her big light green eyes shines. Light blonde hair with black highlights. She had a nice body shape, she was sickly thin but she was thick either but six and a half months later, she was still waiting to be my girlfriend. Heh. That was going to happen. I ignored her and the insanely annoying chatter of her two friend, Britt and lucky…I think. I didn’t care enough to know their names. As we got to club midnight, I sighed, stepping into club was like stepping in side a rainbow and not in a good way. There was a lot of lights of every color. People grinding and some even humping. The place smelt of booze and sweat. Amazing. I just loved it here. I shook my head as Kelly- I mean Katie pulled me to the open bar and started talking about something I didn’t care enough to listen to.
“Gen, did you hear me? Yes or no?” she asked me, shouting over the crappy music.
“sure.” I shouted back, not really caring.
“Oh, gen is going for the hard liquor, you a big girl now.” I brush off the remark and I quickly drown down the drink.
“Fuck. Katie what’s this?” I asked, coughing a little.
“I don’t really know.” Looking up at me with her big light green eyes, shining with mock innocent. I shrug it off and ask her for any one. I also down that one and cough a little more this time.
“I’m going to go for some air now.” I began walking away from them and out the back exit. The moment the cold air hit me, I felt this afternoon food and the unknown drink shoot up but I keep it in and take deep breathe. Trying to it down because it tasted a lot worse coming up. I heard a chuckling, ignoring it. I take off my leather jacket, because it had gotten a little too hot for me. I felt more cold air and close my eyes. I felt the laughing figure, how I assume it was man by how the chuckling sounded.
“Can I help you?” I asked, my voice shaking a little. I was fine, I knew I was and even if I wasn’t it was okay because I would get better soon. I always did.
“You” the voice sounded awful familiar to me, it made me freeze just like that guys voice. I opened and look at figure and growled lightly.
“You, it’s more likely. You’re the dick from this morning.” I said softly.
“You’re short, did you know that.”
“God, doesn’t like me.” I whispered to myself.
“I hate to interrupt your one woman conversation, but there’s no god.”
“Whatever, I’m going home” I hissed back at him and start walking but as soon as I took the first step I started to fall over. I felt a pair hands catch me.
“I think you need help” he said, standing me up.
“I really don’t I’m fine, thank you”
“Stop being suborn, just let me help you.” He said and I sighed by nodded. We began a long, quiet walk to my apartment.
I sighed “this is going to take forever, I don’t know where you live. It’s over a two hour walk…I don’t even know you’re name.” he didn’t say anything but we kept walking towards my home, it was quiet after that, not even a bad kind of quiet, it was peaceful.
By the time we got home, it was around two in the morning, I felt sick and tired, I look over to guy that brought me home, for no real reason. When we got my building, I turned to him and tried to smile.
“Thanks but you head home, it’s late.”
“You can barely walk, I’m taking you up.” He said. I knew I wouldn’t win so I just let him take me to the tenth floor, which is where I lived. I unlocked the door and when to my room, crashing and falling asleep with all my clothes on.
The next morning when I woke up I felt like someone ran me over with a train, perfect. I got out of bed slowly and sighed quietly. I made my way to the bathroom slowly, I showered and washed my long cherry red hair and watched as the dye ran out. I stepped out and put on a long white t-shirt and my undies. I passed by the living room, dancing a little, very stupidly. I heard a grunt that kind of sounded like a laughing. I turned around, getting ready to yell at Alex but come to see the stranger that helped me get home last night. Shirtless. Awesome. I cross my hands across my chest growled lightly.
“Your two friends said something about having class, right now, so they like-“
“What are you doing at my house?” I asked sharply, as I pull my wet curly hair out of my face.
“I slept here.”
“I know, but why?”
“You did say it was late.”
“I said and I quote ‘its late, you should go home’ something along those lines.” I shook my head at him in anger.
“Carrie, said I should stay here, for bring you home safe”
“Well I don’t car- okay, thanks for bringing me here, last night”
“No problem.” He said, he flashed a quick smile at me, letting me know that he knew he had won. I huffed and rolled my eyes at him. I bit the inside of my cheek and when to get food from the fridge. I settled on eggs and bacon.
“It’s two in the afternoon.” I looked up to see, the tall stranger leaning against my kitchen door.
“I don’t care, I want this.” He stared at me like I was the stupidest person he ever met.
“You want some?” I asked avoiding looking at him.
“Sure” I nodded and he sat at the counter, dinner table thingy and I started cooking, humming softly.
“You’re a lot nicer cooking”
“Shut up, dude.”
“And she speaks.” I give him, the eggs and bacon. After eating. I usher him out, and roll my eyes as I close the door in his face.
“What’s her problem?” I heard him mumble as walk away for the door. I sit on the red and black couch and tear. For some reason, that caused me to start looking back I was baby when it came to word bitch, or when people talked about my weight. Oh yes. Everything came rushing back to me and suddenly I was younger again.
‘“Genevieve, come on leave with us.” My friend lilly called out to me. I was 13 and just starting middle school. My long brown/black hair was pulled into a pony and I had my hair in pony tail. My stomach turned.
“No thanks I’m going to class.” I said softly. Lilly grabbed my hand and giggled.
“Come on, don’t be a wussy.”
“Leave her, li she’s a bitch, she’s rude. And knows too much.” Lilly looked at me and sighed. She walked away with mike, her boyfriend two grades above us.
---Weeks later---
“We can’t be friends” Lilly said as I sat next to her..
“What?”
“You’re big, know it all and a bitch”
“wow”
“Yeah”’
After that, my life has been a long struggle to be thin and dumb things down for the people. I went to my room and put on sweatpants and a tee shirt. Slipping on my running shoes. I went running.