We stumbled into my room, both of us trying to make in through the door at once and failing to work our feet as we tried to avoid catastrophe. His hand still held mine which wasn't all that bad. He only seemed to be jogging most of the way because I'm unfit and cant run all that fast. We had matching smiles on our faces at outrunning Valentina and i was still gasping for breath between laughs. He looked rather proud of himself as he turned to me and i closed the door leaning every last pound of my weight on it.
"I think were clear."I declared with a certain aura of James bond about the statement. On second thoughts i probably look a little more johnny English. I'm incapable of sounding cool, okay? Its not a choice! I was born this inadequate! Although the look on Phoenix's face didn't seem to agree.
"One day and you've already got yourself a hit man."
"Hit woman." I corrected moving my bags in front of the door. That should hold her, given i don't have a lot of things but Valentina wouldn't risk breaking a nail so i say I've done a bang up job at running from my problems. Except, to run from one problem i ran with one of my other problems, holding problems hand no less.
"I think were safe up here."
"Don't count on it." I said pointing to the over organized row of shoes. The were in rainbow order. I don't even know the colours of the rainbow. On second thoughts they might just be very well laid out. I can't vouch for the rainbow thing. Her bed was still perfectly unslept in.
"That's how you got the sunglasses."
"And the bounty on my head. There's one thing i don't quite understand; why are you still here?"
"The chance to run from Malibu barbie? Wouldn't miss it for the world." It was quite clear the he was joking but i found it hard to look at him. I thought this week was going to be so much harder and in a way it is still pretty tough. Regardless of how nice he is to me I'm still using him. I kept my eyes darting around the room, basically any direction i wouldn't see a phoenix watching me every second.
"Seriously though, we don't talk at school, were lucky i know your name and were not even the same social standing. Why are you even talking to me?" All that was said in about 3 seconds- tops. God I'm such a guilty person. No one ever rob a bank with me, i think i might leave a sorry note and a dinner invite. I'm such a horrible person. I was drunk, i could have drawn a treasure map to where i buried my grandmas false teeth on that forfeit card. I don't know if that's a relief or embarrassing. Lets go with both. Both sounds good. I sound nervous, I'm nervous. Should i even go through with this? Why isn't he talking? I asked a question, was it a hard question? Oh no, I'm babbling. I need him to say something soon before i pass out, Too much mental conversation with myself.
"You seem nice." Phoenix shrugged. Well that slowed the beating of my heart to a human pace. I'm not having a panic attack. Instead I'm being shocked back to normal. I'm nice? I'm not nice. I'm a liar. I'm still lying to him. I'm sitting here, on my bed, in an empty room, alone with him. Maybe i could tell him that hes my dare. Who would know other than us? I can tell him that i need to kiss him and i can kiss Ryder with less guilt. Everyone's happy. Unless the bedrooms are bugged, I might be paranoid but there's always a chance that I'm right. Who knows how far they went in making this summer the most hellish time of our lives.
"because that's what every girl wants to hear." I laughed.
"You're beautiful." He smiled
"That's very superficial." I scolded
"You're intelligent." He remarked
"What we know doesn't make us who we are."
"You have a great personality." He announced
"Wow." I joked
"And an amazing sense of humor." He declared
"That, ill take." I finally accepted. What? After all that you cant say I'm not a little funny.
"and you're a good person- an honest person." He added. Innocent to him, a kick in the teeth for me. I felt bad enough as it was but he had to go and be nice to me? Even more than before. If he said that i didn't completely suck i wouldn't want to throw up right now but no, i had to get dared to kiss a decent guy. Its life just grand?
"that's enough." In our little exchange i hadn't noticed how close he'd gotten. Phoenix started by the door and had made it all the way to directly next to me. There was no wiggle room whatsoever. I was at the headboard of my bed and he was almost on my knee. I don't know how i felt about it. I might have liked it, i might have feared it. i might have felt every emotion there is to feel.
He was inches away but a part of me thought something up. I had to have PDAs. As much as i believe a kiss should mean something, I don't think i should wait and just make out with him to an audience. I'm not saying I'm about to throw myself at him but- i don't know what I'm saying. Screw it. I'm here in body, full stop. I don't even know where my mind is. But even though i was torn in a million different directions and i didn't want to be there for the most part.i couldn't help taking it all in.
Phoenix was very careful about every move he made but the moves were pretty concentrated on the outcome. His eyes failed to keep a steady hold of mine and dropped for just a second- a fraction of a second. "No its not." He whispered. I don't know if it was the silence that made his voice so clear to me. It made it sound official, like he knew for definite and would never budge from those 3 words being correct. And that's when he kissed me. It wasn't special or romantic. We were alone so it was private and i didn't dislike kissing him just as I'm sure he didn't dislike kissing me. At first it seemed very chaste. A peck with no meaning against it. My card demanded more than that. He pulled back for a second and looked at me and i stared back without a story behind my eyes as far as i could tell. I didn't know if i was telling him yes or no because i wasn't sure whether to tell him yes of no. So instead in stopped thinking and just let myself fly on auto pilot.
Before i say what we all know is coming, my autopilot is a very desperate thing, okay? So just do me a favor and don't judge me too harshly for it.
I raised my right hand onto his right check and used it to pull him in for a kiss, closing what distance had been left between us before.This times he didn't kiss me in a chaste way. Nothing like it. His had reached up to cup my face and before I knew it we were making out. I'm not someone with my VL intact. I've kissed someone before so as out of practice as i may be, i know what I'm doing. Phoenix was no different. Both of our eyes were closed so all i saw was darkness. It was the other senses that told me it was time to cut it out. I heard the scraping of my things that id used to not so well barricade the door and then Aria walked in, her hands linked with Kevin's.
"Hiya." I called crossing my arms in front of my chest. Phoenix had snapped back to attention. Aria nearly jumped out of her skin however... Kevin waved at me. He was a truly strange boy, i still cant explain it.
"What are you two doing up here?"Aria questioned me. It was hard to miss the shock in her tone. Phoenix and i would be a shock to anyone's system.
"Hiding." Phoenix told her pointing to Valentina's things. Aria understood instantly. Shes first hand got a taste of what Valentina was really like. She could accept that we had ruined her make out time with her brothers best friend for that.
"Whats up with Valentina anyway?" Aria asked."She was AWOL last night."
"I saw her." Kevin informed us. He didn't seem to understand that what he said had a chance of being relevant to out lives, like why she was homicidal. "She came by our room, She wanted to see Ryder."
"Please don't tell me she slept with my brother."
"I don't know, ill ask the next time i see him." He said seriously. I knew guys spoke about sleeping with girls like it was the results of the big game but it always sounds weird to me. They think were open? That we gossip to other girls too much about people? Guys just gossip about themselves and other people. Our stories are a little less egotistical if you ask me. Although, if Ryder did have sex with Valentina you would think the story of it would be everywhere.
"Speaking of Ryder." I wondered. "Where is he?"
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AN
Unedited. I'm very tired and my computer has low battery, sorry it kind of sucks. GOODNIGHT!!!