because apparently somebody liked my shitty writing... i was all over this bitch haha it actually makes no sense or flow
You know when you die, they say your entire life flashes before you?
Damn, I don't know what I was thinking when I cut my hair back when I was twelve. Gods above, it looks awful.
Jus kidding. I'm not dead. Yet.
I was awakened by Sorano's insufferable screeching, at least fifty decibels higher I was preparing to endure this early in the morning (trust me, with these crazy people I was preparing for a lot). I felt Macbeth's arms tighten around me, and felt him sigh slightly against my back. When I conserved enough energy to care and to crack my eyelid open, what I saw was absolutely traumatising.
Sorano was hopping around, chasing Erik, yelling such vulgar insults that I'm pretty sure my ears popped. She was waving around her usual white feather dress, expect that it wasn't white anymore. The whole thing was neon pink, and to add to the trend was the huge drawing of a cartoon dick inscribed forever with the words "GET SOME OFF THAT JUICY ASS!"
Such stains could undoubtably withstand an Etherion meltdown, let alone just the thorough bleaching that it would most likely be subjected to. That shit ain't coming out anytime soon.
Which, coming full circle here, brings us to the matter of Sorano's clothes. Or lack thereof.
(I would bet every Jewel I had — which admittedly wasn't a lot, but it's the thought that counts — that Sorano's parents originally wanted to call her Sorpano. She can reach levels that could make opera singers jealous.)
Sorano raced after Erik, naked as the day she was born, with what looks to be a dozen evil fluffy piranhas in her wake.
Erik was a dead man. Hell hath no fury like the woman whose wardrobe you messed up, and/or without her morning coffee. Personally, I prefer the latter yes please oh my gods I'm dying here coffeeeeeeeeeee.
Jellal was sitting by the fire, just watching this madness unfold, with the most badass resting bitch face I've ever seen (I should know). I wiggled a finger to get his attention, as I couldn't be bothered to move.
"Hi, Jelly-boy."
He grunted. I guess all people without morning coffee are menstruating preteens too: glad to know I'm not alone!
The only people left asleep were Richard, Meredy and Sawyer. Together, they were snoring away peacefully with such enthusiasm they could run for gold medal in the Fiore Olympics. They were all cuddle whores, and they were tangled up in such positions that it was impossible to tell which limbs were whose. I had no idea Richard was so flexible and the sight scared me a little.
Something growled. I felt Midnight stir and a hand snake down to pat my belly.
Oh. It was me. How embarrassing.
"I'm hungry." I said, slightly shocked.
Jellal snorted.
"We have fish."
"Ew, no. We've been living off fish for the past month. Gimme my sugars, Blue Balls." (I heard Erik - still running for his life, by the way - snort at the nickname.)
"Fish is easy to get, and full of protein and healthy oils." Jellal shrugged.
"Say that to the pile of Erik's puke sitting in the last forest!"
"No thanks. I saw that shit burn through five trees."
"Bluuueeeee Baaaaalllssssss. . ."
"Fish or nothing."
". . .Gimme."
I wiggled out from my boyfriend's embrace and accepted the plate of a slimy grey thing Blue Balls offered me.
"To eat or not to eat?" I grumbled and took a bite.
Rubber. And diapers. And. . .
"Oh dear god, did Erik spit in this?" I said appalled.
Jellal sniggered.
Then it clicked.
Pegi: 18
"JELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAL FERNANDEEEEEEESSSS, YOU ARE A FUCKING DEAD MAN WALKING. YOU HEAR ME? FUCKING DEAD! YOU STRAWBERRY SLUT, YOU BLUEBERRY DEEP THROATER, YOU MOTHERFUCKING PLASTIC-COCKSUCKING BASTARD! OH YOU THINK ITS FUNNY, DO YOU? LAUGHING HARD? WELL JOKES ON YOU YOU LITTLE PRACTICAL JOKER SHIT. LET'S SEE WHO LAUGHS AFTER I SCORCH YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF. YOU WON'T FUCKING NEED THEM, YOU DILDO HUMPING CUNTBAG! FIRE PHOENIX WING TR — !"
"Babe, too loud." Midnight mumbled.
"Oh. Sorry, honey." I pecked his forehead.
I shot Jellal a warning glare. This isn't over yet, you frigid bitch.
I held out my hand. "Gimme my real food."
Jellal deposited a bunch of berries into my awaiting palm.
"Are you fucking with me?"
"I should hope not."
I examined the blood red berries in my cupped hand. Picking one up, I threw it in Erik's direction. Props to Erik, who caught it expertly with his mouth (Sorano was now attempting to wash the worst off her ensemble down by the nearby creek. We could hear her curses from here.)
Erik contemplated the berry for a moment, before spitting it out with a disgusted expression. It must not be poisonous, then.
"Bon appetit." I grinned and deposited the lot into my mouth.
"Seven, wait a moment — "
I chewed.
I stopped.
I spat it out into the fire, which turned green.
I looked at Jellal.
"YOU ARE A DEAD MAN FERNANDES — "
"I'll call the red headed monster to tell her their date is cancelled, then."
"NONONONONONOPLEASEDONOTCALLERZA — "
"FIRE PHOENIX TRAP!"
"FUCK!"
"You hungry, babe. . . ?"
"Hm?"
"I have a blueberry, if you want it."
"Sure."
i don't think this is what the requester asked for when they said a 'part ii of the midnight imagine' but here you go